Disclaimer: The characters used for this fan fiction in no shape or form
belong to me. They are the property of SquareEnix and Disney, and I
acknowledge this, no matter how much I wish they could belong to me.
Warning: Shounen ai reference [male/male smut]. If you're offended by this, please do not waste my air and read this.
Not Sora is 18 years of age, and Riku was 19; they are/were in the 'normal' world.
***
You were always one to go to Kairi if you were having problems. I suppose Kairi was your guidance through the rougher times; I know I hadn't proved to be.. And I don't think any amount of apologizing could ever fix the mistakes I made, or the damage I caused.
You thought we were drifting apart, Kairi once told me, and I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated by that. You were always connected at my hip, struggling to remain at my side, to follow my footfalls no matter where they landed. And in a way, that issued the fact you and I were always together - or so it seemed that way in my mind. But maybe because of that delusion, we were being torn at the seams; I didn't like to grow attached. I didn't want to risk the chance that if something were to happen to you, I would suffer. I was always afraid of suffering. But I believe that I was already tormenting myself due to these false beliefs. So many things I had to tell you..
I don't know what got into me that day when I called you, requesting your company to an unknown destination. You seemed skeptical, but accepted all the same, and you joined me within the following ten minutes. It was beautiful, warm day, and the city was erupting with excitement. You followed me through the crowd, attempting to push by people without causing alarm. When it came down to it, you were always having difficulties getting by obstacles; it was your eyes that gave you away. Your admirable cerulean eyes that displayed complete kindness and your gentle soul.
I wandered toward the park, amused by the soft whisper of the creek that circled the playground and trees. Wild life had nearly ceased to be, and it surprised me then that those miraculous plants continued to thrive. I would have thought city-life to have broken their spirit, much like it did to those who lingered too often.
You managed to stumble from the bustling wave of moving bodies, and came to a halt by my side. I knew you were confused, maybe concerned about why this wild goose-chase was continuing; I hadn't let any information slip. But I wanted it to be absolutely perfect, a part of me didn't want to fail you. I wanted nothing more than to see that smile I miss so much to grace your lips again.
We didn't remain long, the park wasn't where it was meant to be. I had a terrible secret to tell you, or at least I felt it was terrible. I hadn't known how you would reply, how you would react. A part of me was afraid you'd push me away forever; but I felt that if in the right atmosphere, nothing could go wrong.
We took part in a child's game as they circled around us in weaves, squealing with delight. It reminded me of when we were children, wielding wooden swords and bubbling tempers. We didn't fight much back then, though.. Until Kairi came.
I lead you past the cathedral, pausing briefly to drown in the song of bells. You were completely enchanted, and I witnessed a rare smile touch your lips before it was swept away. Was it really so hard for you to be happy? What did those lame glances honestly mean? The thoughtless pout, drawn brow, sad eyes.. It was slowly tearing my heart in two.
I drew my arm lazily across your shoulders, slightly hurt when I felt you flinch; I think you had the impression then I had the means to hurt you. I hadn't know what to do with my hand so instead it fell against your throat, brushing against your soft skin, chills cartwheeling up the length of my arm. I held my breath then, under the belief you might duck aside, or make a snide remark; but instead you nestled against my chest, my companion in the mindless march.
"You say I never take you out," I whispered into your ear without realizing the words had slipped through my lips. You regarded me with wide eyes, as if I had delivered an embarrassing secret against your earlobe. So I touched your nose with my thumb, choking back a chuckle as your eyes crossed.
"I'm here to do otherwise," I replied, to the question stamped across your forehead. As we approached a bill-board, I noticed your step falter as you gazed toward it with curiosity, momentarily allowing your mind to be drawn away. I followed your eyes, making the movement obvious before I allowed a smile to grace my lips. It seemed someone had means to offer fair hints to where I had plans to take you. Funny how the choice of Romeo & Juliet seems ironic.
But time was passing, slipping through my fingertips at a disturbing speed. I had wanted the evening to last as long as possible before I would tell you, before I would possibly destroy our friendship forever. So we continued, until I witness a child pass with a cone of cotton-candy; it was then I was thunder-struck with an idea.
"Wait here Sora," I told you, and left you standing against a stone column. I wanted to chance a glance back, to see if you had moved, but felt I wouldn't need to bother. You hardly failed to obey my word. I located the man with the booth, pleased to see business was slow, and made the purchase for an identical product the child had carried. It felt unusual, carrying the treat back to you, having to ignore the amused expressions I received. Your face lit up after a moment of confusion, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Strange how I could have walked through that crowd naked, and not notice a thing, but the moment your eyes would sweep across me, I'd feel like the most vulnerable person alive.
There was a brief interaction between you and the cotton candy, causing the chuckle I had muffled to the pit of my stomach to creep back. But it felt good laugh again, and you blushed sheepishly, blissfully unaware of the pink tint that spread across your cheeks like a forest fire. Even now I can admit I was always fond of your innocence.
A woman cried from nearby, a series of noises issuing from behind and I turned to see what could have brought the sudden amount of laughter and joyous voices to an end. A shoulder knocked into mine, and I rocked nearly off balance, but was caught in mid-fall. An arm encircled my throat, strong against my shoulders, and I was overwhelmed by the putrid smell of alcohol. I could feel his chest heave against my back, his warm breath rustling through my hair. Saliva hit my bare shoulder, and I suppressed a shudder; this definitely wasn't part of the evening I had planned.
"What do you plan to do?" I had asked, fingers wrapping around his thick wrist, trying to calm my thundering heart. But I felt your eyes upon me, and I forced a calm face, inclining my head slightly to catch a glimpse of the man. Cold metal was suddenly pressed against my temple, and I heard the distinct sound of a gun loading. Your jaw fell ajar, gaping dumbly at the weapon that wouldn't hesitant to ride through my skull like a ripe melon.
You called my name in alarm, and the pistol lifted from my head, directed toward you. I felt fury explode through my chest, but knew if I moved, the chances of you being shot would sky rocket. And I couldn't have that.. I would never be able to live with myself if you were injured on this day that was suppose to make you realize.. Make you realize that I...
He released me suddenly, throwing me from him, and I stumbled away.. He turned, his eyes mad with hatred, the gun once more targeting you. His feet carried him toward you, and you stood against the wall, eyes wide with shock. Catching myself from the brief fall, adrenaline seethed through my veins and I threw myself onto his back, attempting to tear out his eyes. He howled in pain, distracted by my presence and you shrunk away, one fourth your normal size. I felt his flesh rip away beneath my nails, and I choked back disgust, realizing this would be my only opportunity to protect you if he happened to lose his grip on reality.
But my triumph was brief as he caught my leg and threw me to the ground, the gathered crowd moaning as I hit the granite. You began to rush toward me as I lifted myself to my knees, turning to face the lunatic. The gun roared, and as I made to stand, my body buckled against the impact as a bullet tore through my chest. The gun cried twice more, a mere whine compared to the first, but I didn't feel either of the two as they hit home.
For a brief second, the pain began to subside, blood already damp on my front. I hadn't realized I was falling until I felt your arms encircle me, your eyes frantic as they searched my torso. My vision swam as I felt the cool cement beneath me, and I gazed up into your eyes, aware of the tears that were threatening to spill across your cheeks.
"..Sora," I murmured, trying to sound strong, to reassure you things were alright. I smiled weakly, before you shook your head, your knuckles brushing across my cheek. I fought the urge to close my eyes to the sensation, and bury my cheek into your hand. But you cradled my face, as if reading my mind and delivering that prayer.
"..We showed him," I joked, raising my fist to knock against your cheek. But I could feel the strength draining from my limbs and it fell easily to my side again. Your fingers laced mine, your lips dangerously close. I don't think you will ever know how close you were to me at that moment.
"Please Sora. Please take care of her.." I requested, knowing what was to come. Kairi was always defenseless, and would always need our protection. And despite the mountains that had grown between us, I couldn't stand to think something might happen to her. Something during my absence.
"No Riku, no. I don't have to take care of her. We can do it together Riku, you and me, the both of us. Just don't give up, please don't give up," you sobbed, tears trailing rivers from your beautiful eyes. And as I admired your handsome face, allowing myself to survey each detail, each crease, I knew there would never be a better moment than then. And I didn't want to depart from that world realizing my business wasn't finished.
"I love you." That terrible secret, the horrible thing I had kept bottled away for months, for years of our friendship. Because of all the time I spent with you, every new thing I learned, I began to realize that the new, awkward emotion that was constantly blossoming in my heart was love. My love for you. And it had frightened me.
The paramedics came, as useless as they were at that moment, tearing you away from my side. But I allowed them to, I didn't want you to see me in my moment of weakness. But I was gone before we ever reached the hospital, even if my heart continued to beat. My soul had departed, because I had accomplished the one thing I had swore would complete my life.
I stood with you the day of my funeral, at the opposite side while Kairi accompanied the other. And I watched you, your sad gaze, the tears falling from your orbs of blue, mixed with the heavy pelt of rain. Even now I wish I had the opportunity to share with you what I had planned that day, and why now Romeo & Juliet seems so ironic.
But I watch you, as you come and go from the cemetery daily. You visit me with a new bouquet of flowers, Sakura Blossoms. Much like the ones we had watched float down the creek the day the escaped lunatic decided to end our adventures together. And though sometimes I wonder if you'll stop visiting, you continue to come every day, at the same time, no matter what you're doing. Sometimes Kairi follows, her face describing deep sorrow as she watches you mourn for me.
When you're alone, I sit with you, listening to you speak to my tombstone, to your memories, as if you knew I was there. And I suppose a part of you does realize this, and the same bit of you hears my replies to your questions. I know one day God may not allow me to make these visits, but I'll cross that bridge the day I find it.
My tombstones reads of flight with angels, as if Heaven was to be crowded. People roam the clouds, the holy kingdom, but none of them are angels to me. And though I'm surprised I'm where I am today, I know I will never be in Heaven until my angel joins me.
So I'll be waiting for you, Sora. I'll be waiting for my angel.
***
Ee.. End of Change in Time. Unexpected chapter.
Warning: Shounen ai reference [male/male smut]. If you're offended by this, please do not waste my air and read this.
Not Sora is 18 years of age, and Riku was 19; they are/were in the 'normal' world.
***
You were always one to go to Kairi if you were having problems. I suppose Kairi was your guidance through the rougher times; I know I hadn't proved to be.. And I don't think any amount of apologizing could ever fix the mistakes I made, or the damage I caused.
You thought we were drifting apart, Kairi once told me, and I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated by that. You were always connected at my hip, struggling to remain at my side, to follow my footfalls no matter where they landed. And in a way, that issued the fact you and I were always together - or so it seemed that way in my mind. But maybe because of that delusion, we were being torn at the seams; I didn't like to grow attached. I didn't want to risk the chance that if something were to happen to you, I would suffer. I was always afraid of suffering. But I believe that I was already tormenting myself due to these false beliefs. So many things I had to tell you..
I don't know what got into me that day when I called you, requesting your company to an unknown destination. You seemed skeptical, but accepted all the same, and you joined me within the following ten minutes. It was beautiful, warm day, and the city was erupting with excitement. You followed me through the crowd, attempting to push by people without causing alarm. When it came down to it, you were always having difficulties getting by obstacles; it was your eyes that gave you away. Your admirable cerulean eyes that displayed complete kindness and your gentle soul.
I wandered toward the park, amused by the soft whisper of the creek that circled the playground and trees. Wild life had nearly ceased to be, and it surprised me then that those miraculous plants continued to thrive. I would have thought city-life to have broken their spirit, much like it did to those who lingered too often.
You managed to stumble from the bustling wave of moving bodies, and came to a halt by my side. I knew you were confused, maybe concerned about why this wild goose-chase was continuing; I hadn't let any information slip. But I wanted it to be absolutely perfect, a part of me didn't want to fail you. I wanted nothing more than to see that smile I miss so much to grace your lips again.
We didn't remain long, the park wasn't where it was meant to be. I had a terrible secret to tell you, or at least I felt it was terrible. I hadn't known how you would reply, how you would react. A part of me was afraid you'd push me away forever; but I felt that if in the right atmosphere, nothing could go wrong.
We took part in a child's game as they circled around us in weaves, squealing with delight. It reminded me of when we were children, wielding wooden swords and bubbling tempers. We didn't fight much back then, though.. Until Kairi came.
I lead you past the cathedral, pausing briefly to drown in the song of bells. You were completely enchanted, and I witnessed a rare smile touch your lips before it was swept away. Was it really so hard for you to be happy? What did those lame glances honestly mean? The thoughtless pout, drawn brow, sad eyes.. It was slowly tearing my heart in two.
I drew my arm lazily across your shoulders, slightly hurt when I felt you flinch; I think you had the impression then I had the means to hurt you. I hadn't know what to do with my hand so instead it fell against your throat, brushing against your soft skin, chills cartwheeling up the length of my arm. I held my breath then, under the belief you might duck aside, or make a snide remark; but instead you nestled against my chest, my companion in the mindless march.
"You say I never take you out," I whispered into your ear without realizing the words had slipped through my lips. You regarded me with wide eyes, as if I had delivered an embarrassing secret against your earlobe. So I touched your nose with my thumb, choking back a chuckle as your eyes crossed.
"I'm here to do otherwise," I replied, to the question stamped across your forehead. As we approached a bill-board, I noticed your step falter as you gazed toward it with curiosity, momentarily allowing your mind to be drawn away. I followed your eyes, making the movement obvious before I allowed a smile to grace my lips. It seemed someone had means to offer fair hints to where I had plans to take you. Funny how the choice of Romeo & Juliet seems ironic.
But time was passing, slipping through my fingertips at a disturbing speed. I had wanted the evening to last as long as possible before I would tell you, before I would possibly destroy our friendship forever. So we continued, until I witness a child pass with a cone of cotton-candy; it was then I was thunder-struck with an idea.
"Wait here Sora," I told you, and left you standing against a stone column. I wanted to chance a glance back, to see if you had moved, but felt I wouldn't need to bother. You hardly failed to obey my word. I located the man with the booth, pleased to see business was slow, and made the purchase for an identical product the child had carried. It felt unusual, carrying the treat back to you, having to ignore the amused expressions I received. Your face lit up after a moment of confusion, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Strange how I could have walked through that crowd naked, and not notice a thing, but the moment your eyes would sweep across me, I'd feel like the most vulnerable person alive.
There was a brief interaction between you and the cotton candy, causing the chuckle I had muffled to the pit of my stomach to creep back. But it felt good laugh again, and you blushed sheepishly, blissfully unaware of the pink tint that spread across your cheeks like a forest fire. Even now I can admit I was always fond of your innocence.
A woman cried from nearby, a series of noises issuing from behind and I turned to see what could have brought the sudden amount of laughter and joyous voices to an end. A shoulder knocked into mine, and I rocked nearly off balance, but was caught in mid-fall. An arm encircled my throat, strong against my shoulders, and I was overwhelmed by the putrid smell of alcohol. I could feel his chest heave against my back, his warm breath rustling through my hair. Saliva hit my bare shoulder, and I suppressed a shudder; this definitely wasn't part of the evening I had planned.
"What do you plan to do?" I had asked, fingers wrapping around his thick wrist, trying to calm my thundering heart. But I felt your eyes upon me, and I forced a calm face, inclining my head slightly to catch a glimpse of the man. Cold metal was suddenly pressed against my temple, and I heard the distinct sound of a gun loading. Your jaw fell ajar, gaping dumbly at the weapon that wouldn't hesitant to ride through my skull like a ripe melon.
You called my name in alarm, and the pistol lifted from my head, directed toward you. I felt fury explode through my chest, but knew if I moved, the chances of you being shot would sky rocket. And I couldn't have that.. I would never be able to live with myself if you were injured on this day that was suppose to make you realize.. Make you realize that I...
He released me suddenly, throwing me from him, and I stumbled away.. He turned, his eyes mad with hatred, the gun once more targeting you. His feet carried him toward you, and you stood against the wall, eyes wide with shock. Catching myself from the brief fall, adrenaline seethed through my veins and I threw myself onto his back, attempting to tear out his eyes. He howled in pain, distracted by my presence and you shrunk away, one fourth your normal size. I felt his flesh rip away beneath my nails, and I choked back disgust, realizing this would be my only opportunity to protect you if he happened to lose his grip on reality.
But my triumph was brief as he caught my leg and threw me to the ground, the gathered crowd moaning as I hit the granite. You began to rush toward me as I lifted myself to my knees, turning to face the lunatic. The gun roared, and as I made to stand, my body buckled against the impact as a bullet tore through my chest. The gun cried twice more, a mere whine compared to the first, but I didn't feel either of the two as they hit home.
For a brief second, the pain began to subside, blood already damp on my front. I hadn't realized I was falling until I felt your arms encircle me, your eyes frantic as they searched my torso. My vision swam as I felt the cool cement beneath me, and I gazed up into your eyes, aware of the tears that were threatening to spill across your cheeks.
"..Sora," I murmured, trying to sound strong, to reassure you things were alright. I smiled weakly, before you shook your head, your knuckles brushing across my cheek. I fought the urge to close my eyes to the sensation, and bury my cheek into your hand. But you cradled my face, as if reading my mind and delivering that prayer.
"..We showed him," I joked, raising my fist to knock against your cheek. But I could feel the strength draining from my limbs and it fell easily to my side again. Your fingers laced mine, your lips dangerously close. I don't think you will ever know how close you were to me at that moment.
"Please Sora. Please take care of her.." I requested, knowing what was to come. Kairi was always defenseless, and would always need our protection. And despite the mountains that had grown between us, I couldn't stand to think something might happen to her. Something during my absence.
"No Riku, no. I don't have to take care of her. We can do it together Riku, you and me, the both of us. Just don't give up, please don't give up," you sobbed, tears trailing rivers from your beautiful eyes. And as I admired your handsome face, allowing myself to survey each detail, each crease, I knew there would never be a better moment than then. And I didn't want to depart from that world realizing my business wasn't finished.
"I love you." That terrible secret, the horrible thing I had kept bottled away for months, for years of our friendship. Because of all the time I spent with you, every new thing I learned, I began to realize that the new, awkward emotion that was constantly blossoming in my heart was love. My love for you. And it had frightened me.
The paramedics came, as useless as they were at that moment, tearing you away from my side. But I allowed them to, I didn't want you to see me in my moment of weakness. But I was gone before we ever reached the hospital, even if my heart continued to beat. My soul had departed, because I had accomplished the one thing I had swore would complete my life.
I stood with you the day of my funeral, at the opposite side while Kairi accompanied the other. And I watched you, your sad gaze, the tears falling from your orbs of blue, mixed with the heavy pelt of rain. Even now I wish I had the opportunity to share with you what I had planned that day, and why now Romeo & Juliet seems so ironic.
But I watch you, as you come and go from the cemetery daily. You visit me with a new bouquet of flowers, Sakura Blossoms. Much like the ones we had watched float down the creek the day the escaped lunatic decided to end our adventures together. And though sometimes I wonder if you'll stop visiting, you continue to come every day, at the same time, no matter what you're doing. Sometimes Kairi follows, her face describing deep sorrow as she watches you mourn for me.
When you're alone, I sit with you, listening to you speak to my tombstone, to your memories, as if you knew I was there. And I suppose a part of you does realize this, and the same bit of you hears my replies to your questions. I know one day God may not allow me to make these visits, but I'll cross that bridge the day I find it.
My tombstones reads of flight with angels, as if Heaven was to be crowded. People roam the clouds, the holy kingdom, but none of them are angels to me. And though I'm surprised I'm where I am today, I know I will never be in Heaven until my angel joins me.
So I'll be waiting for you, Sora. I'll be waiting for my angel.
***
Ee.. End of Change in Time. Unexpected chapter.