DISCLAIMER- I don't own Star Trek or any of the characters, except for Snodgrass and Fargo.
READ AND REVIEW!! This is my last chapter!
Narrator- Everyone gathers around to hear McCoy's idea but Eugene. I mean, the ensign-
McCoy- (to Snodgrass) Your name is EUGENE??
Snodgrass- (to Narrator) Thanks a lot!
Chekov- Your name is EUGENE??? (starts laughing)
Snodgrass- My mother named me it! It's not my fault! I'm sure some of you have worse names, right?
Sulu- Yeah. Like Pavel. That sounds like cement!
Chekov- Well your name sounds like a poem! You know, a Haiku!
Uhura- Okay. Your new names are Gravel Chekov and Haiku Sulu.
Chekov- Oh, and you're saying Nyota is a perfectly normal first name?
Uhura- Don't make fun of my heritage! That's being prejudiced against Africans!
McCoy- You're right. We should be prejudiced aganist Vulcans! Look at Spock! He doesn't even have a first name!
Spock- That is correct, Doctor. I have only one name.
McCoy- Who came up with Spock?
Kirk- (proudly) I'm the only one with a normal name. James.
McCoy- (snickers) Little Jimmy.
Kirk- Well your name is Leonard!
McCoy- And what's wrong with Leonard?
Kirk- I think it's stupid! That's why I nicknamed you Bones. Besides, Doctor Bones sounded funny.
Narrator- Helllllo Let's get back to the PLOT!!
Sulu- Why should we listen to you? Your name is Narrator!
McCoy- Are you serious? Narrator is your name?!
Snodgrass- That's better than Eugene, right?
Narrator- Hey! The name came with the job!
Chekov- Then you shouldn't have taken the job.
PearlGirl- (comes onstage) Now that's enough! You've even gotten the Narrator to stray from the plot!
McCoy- Ha! Your name is PearlGirl!
Narrator- The room suddenly goes quiet. PearlGirl steps towards McCoy.
PearlGirl- Did you just insult my name?
McCoy- (looks nervous) Heh heh. No, of course not!
PearlGirl- (steps closer) Good. Glad to hear it. Because you are my favorite character.
McCoy- (looks flattered) Really?
PearlGirl- (steps closer) But if I thought you were making fun of my name, Bones, I'd make sure you weren't! If that CLEAR??
McCoy- (nods head vigorously)
PearlGirl- I'm sure I could find someone to take your place. How 'bout Spock?
McCoy- You'd like Spock better then ME??? He's a Vulcan!
PearlGirl- At least he doesn't argue. Anyway, Narrator, resume play.
Narrator- Okay. PearlGirl leaves. Everyone gathers around to hear McCoy's idea.
McCoy- (whispers)
Kirk- Good idea!
Sulu- I like it!
Spock- I believe that will work sufficiently.
Snodgrass- What's sufficiently mean?
Chekov- I don't get it!
Uhura- Suffinciently means it'll work good.
Narrator- They get to work. Fargo is still unconscious.
Sulu- I can't believe his name is Fargo!
All but Sulu- Shhhh! The author might be listening!
Narrator- About ten minutes later, Fargo wakes up. He sees Kirk and the rest of them off in a corner. The door is open, and there are seven brown leather suitcases by his feet. They have labels on them that say "Diamonds!" and "There are jewels in HERE!" and "In case you're an evil Ferengi, steal this bag!"
Kirk- (loudly) I don't THINK the FERENGI is AWAKE yet!
McCoy- (loudly) But if he is, it SURE wouldn't be GOOD for US is he STOLE those BAGS because they have VALUABLES INSIDE!!
Chekov- Zey do?
Sulu- (kicks Chekov)
Chekov- Hey! Why'd you do zat?
Uhura- (loudly) I HOPE that Fargo wouldn't DISTRACT us and ESCAPE through the OPEN DOOR with our VALUABLES!!
Fargo- Hee, hee. Of course I wouldn't do that. Hey, look! There's gullible written on the wall! (points)
Narrator- All the crew but Spock look where he points.
McCoy- Spock! Look at the wall!
Spock- Why should I, Doctor?
McCoy- Because there's gullible written on it!
Spock- I am not interested in graffiti, Doctor. Besides, Gullible is in fact, not written-
McCoy- JIIIIM!!
Kirk- Spock, I order you to look at the wall.
Spock- Yes, Captain. (looks at wall)
Chekov- I can't see it! Where's gullible?
Uhura- That's because it's not there, stupid! Wait, I mean-
McCoy- (groans) Did anyone listen to my plan?
Narrator- While they are arguing, Fargo grabs the bags and sneaks out the door.
Snodgrass- Is he gone? Can we stop looking at the wall?
Spock- (turns away from the wall) The Ferengi-
McCoy- (interrupting) JIMMM! Spock's not looking at the wall!!
Spock- Doctor, looking at the wall is unnecessary. The Ferengi has departed. Your plan was successful.
McCoy- Good! I can't believe the Ferengi was that stupid!
Uhura- I'm not surprised. Ferengi are always stupid.
McCoy- Still. To be that stupid......
Sulu- Do you think he'll come back in another episode?
Kirk- I doubt it. And if he does, I'm going to remember that he owes me a fight!
Narrator- They go and retrieve their belongings from under the bed.
Chekov- At last! I wouldn't want these paintings to get hurt!
Sulu- (practicing with his sword) Hiya! I need some practice!
Uhura- (ducks Sulu's sword) Watch were you're swinging that thing! (picks up all clothes and make-up) I'd better go freshen up!
McCoy- Now I can operate on patients without turning them weird colors!
Spock- I am pleased to see that these chemicals did not spill. Some are very toxic.
Snodgrass- (looks at Spock's chemicals nervously) Where're my lightbulbs?
Uhura- Oh yeah. We put those up outside the Enterprise. You can get someone to take them down.
McCoy- Why didn't the lightbulbs float away?
Spock- The doctor is right. It is impossible to "hang up" lightbulbs in space.
Sulu- (shrugs) Impossible or not, we did it.
Kirk- (is holding pieces up paper in his hands) I really must be going! Toodle-do! (leaves)
McCoy- What is Jim hiding? (to Spock) I didn't know those were your chemicals! I thought your suitcase had letters from Amanda in it!
Spock- You were mistaken, Doctor.
Chekov- (suspiciously) Why did you think that Spock had letters in his?
McCoy- (hastily) Heh, heh! I just guessed!
Chekov- Riiiight, sure.
McCoy- That must be what Jim has! Letters from his mother! Ha!
Sulu- The only problem with giving our bags to the Ferengi is that now we don't have them!
Uhura- At least we don't have stupid bags that match anymore!
Narrator- All the crew goes and puts their belongings away.
Scene 23
Narrator- Now we go to a shuttle craft that is zooming away from the Enterprise.
Fargo- Muahahahaha! I'll be back Kirk! Wait, I will? Why should I be? I have your valuables!
Narrator- Fargo opens a brown leather suitcase and finds only a slip of paper.
Slip of paper- Hope you enjoy our "valuables", Mister "Honest Merchant" Ha ha! So long, sucker!
Fargo- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Scene 24
Narrator- The scene is the bridge. McCoy and all the rest of the bridge crew are present. Suddenly, they hear a loud scream coming from space.
Kirk- What was that?
Sulu- It sounded like no, sir.
Kirk- Okaaaay. Weird.
Chekov- Just wondering, not zat it matters, but do we actually have an assignment? I mean, ozer zan ze brown leazer suitcase thing.
Kirk- You mean a mission? I dunno. Do we?
Uhura- As a matter a fact, we do.
Kirk- Ooops. What is it?
Uhura- We're supposed to catch a Ferengi prisoner.
Kirk- What's his name?
Uhura- Fargo.
Snodgrass- Isn't that a city in Texas?
All but Snodgrass- NO! It's in NORTH DAKOTA!!
Sulu- Uh-oh! We were supposed to catch him!
McCoy- We let him go! Great, just great!
Spock- I see nothing great about the situation, Doctor.
Kirk- Maybe Starfleet will let us off.
McCoy- Maybe they'll forget about the mission.
Kirk- Great idea, Bones! Let's go Klingon hunting, then by the time we get back, Starfleet will have forgotten about the stupid mission!
All but Spock- Yeah! We're going on a Klingon Hunt!
Ensign Snodgrass- Wait, that sounds dangerous.
Kirk- Dangerous? But danger is our business! When man first looked at the stars-
(As Kirk is talking it switches to a scene of the Enterprise in space, zooming away toward the neutral zone)
THE END
(By the way, the "danger is our business" speech belongs to Tavia, and it's really "risk is our business". I can't claim it, even though it's hilarious)
REVIEWERS-
Meakashi Gosterful- I'm glad you liked my story, but as you can see, I still had one more chapter to post. Spock is pretty hard to get right, and people complain if you screw up his personality.
Romulan Empress (Stephanie)- Our sequel is coming along, sloooowly. We don't have that much time to work on it, and not too much inspiration. But it'll be up soon, hopefully. Thanks for reviewing!
READ AND REVIEW!! This is my last chapter!
Narrator- Everyone gathers around to hear McCoy's idea but Eugene. I mean, the ensign-
McCoy- (to Snodgrass) Your name is EUGENE??
Snodgrass- (to Narrator) Thanks a lot!
Chekov- Your name is EUGENE??? (starts laughing)
Snodgrass- My mother named me it! It's not my fault! I'm sure some of you have worse names, right?
Sulu- Yeah. Like Pavel. That sounds like cement!
Chekov- Well your name sounds like a poem! You know, a Haiku!
Uhura- Okay. Your new names are Gravel Chekov and Haiku Sulu.
Chekov- Oh, and you're saying Nyota is a perfectly normal first name?
Uhura- Don't make fun of my heritage! That's being prejudiced against Africans!
McCoy- You're right. We should be prejudiced aganist Vulcans! Look at Spock! He doesn't even have a first name!
Spock- That is correct, Doctor. I have only one name.
McCoy- Who came up with Spock?
Kirk- (proudly) I'm the only one with a normal name. James.
McCoy- (snickers) Little Jimmy.
Kirk- Well your name is Leonard!
McCoy- And what's wrong with Leonard?
Kirk- I think it's stupid! That's why I nicknamed you Bones. Besides, Doctor Bones sounded funny.
Narrator- Helllllo Let's get back to the PLOT!!
Sulu- Why should we listen to you? Your name is Narrator!
McCoy- Are you serious? Narrator is your name?!
Snodgrass- That's better than Eugene, right?
Narrator- Hey! The name came with the job!
Chekov- Then you shouldn't have taken the job.
PearlGirl- (comes onstage) Now that's enough! You've even gotten the Narrator to stray from the plot!
McCoy- Ha! Your name is PearlGirl!
Narrator- The room suddenly goes quiet. PearlGirl steps towards McCoy.
PearlGirl- Did you just insult my name?
McCoy- (looks nervous) Heh heh. No, of course not!
PearlGirl- (steps closer) Good. Glad to hear it. Because you are my favorite character.
McCoy- (looks flattered) Really?
PearlGirl- (steps closer) But if I thought you were making fun of my name, Bones, I'd make sure you weren't! If that CLEAR??
McCoy- (nods head vigorously)
PearlGirl- I'm sure I could find someone to take your place. How 'bout Spock?
McCoy- You'd like Spock better then ME??? He's a Vulcan!
PearlGirl- At least he doesn't argue. Anyway, Narrator, resume play.
Narrator- Okay. PearlGirl leaves. Everyone gathers around to hear McCoy's idea.
McCoy- (whispers)
Kirk- Good idea!
Sulu- I like it!
Spock- I believe that will work sufficiently.
Snodgrass- What's sufficiently mean?
Chekov- I don't get it!
Uhura- Suffinciently means it'll work good.
Narrator- They get to work. Fargo is still unconscious.
Sulu- I can't believe his name is Fargo!
All but Sulu- Shhhh! The author might be listening!
Narrator- About ten minutes later, Fargo wakes up. He sees Kirk and the rest of them off in a corner. The door is open, and there are seven brown leather suitcases by his feet. They have labels on them that say "Diamonds!" and "There are jewels in HERE!" and "In case you're an evil Ferengi, steal this bag!"
Kirk- (loudly) I don't THINK the FERENGI is AWAKE yet!
McCoy- (loudly) But if he is, it SURE wouldn't be GOOD for US is he STOLE those BAGS because they have VALUABLES INSIDE!!
Chekov- Zey do?
Sulu- (kicks Chekov)
Chekov- Hey! Why'd you do zat?
Uhura- (loudly) I HOPE that Fargo wouldn't DISTRACT us and ESCAPE through the OPEN DOOR with our VALUABLES!!
Fargo- Hee, hee. Of course I wouldn't do that. Hey, look! There's gullible written on the wall! (points)
Narrator- All the crew but Spock look where he points.
McCoy- Spock! Look at the wall!
Spock- Why should I, Doctor?
McCoy- Because there's gullible written on it!
Spock- I am not interested in graffiti, Doctor. Besides, Gullible is in fact, not written-
McCoy- JIIIIM!!
Kirk- Spock, I order you to look at the wall.
Spock- Yes, Captain. (looks at wall)
Chekov- I can't see it! Where's gullible?
Uhura- That's because it's not there, stupid! Wait, I mean-
McCoy- (groans) Did anyone listen to my plan?
Narrator- While they are arguing, Fargo grabs the bags and sneaks out the door.
Snodgrass- Is he gone? Can we stop looking at the wall?
Spock- (turns away from the wall) The Ferengi-
McCoy- (interrupting) JIMMM! Spock's not looking at the wall!!
Spock- Doctor, looking at the wall is unnecessary. The Ferengi has departed. Your plan was successful.
McCoy- Good! I can't believe the Ferengi was that stupid!
Uhura- I'm not surprised. Ferengi are always stupid.
McCoy- Still. To be that stupid......
Sulu- Do you think he'll come back in another episode?
Kirk- I doubt it. And if he does, I'm going to remember that he owes me a fight!
Narrator- They go and retrieve their belongings from under the bed.
Chekov- At last! I wouldn't want these paintings to get hurt!
Sulu- (practicing with his sword) Hiya! I need some practice!
Uhura- (ducks Sulu's sword) Watch were you're swinging that thing! (picks up all clothes and make-up) I'd better go freshen up!
McCoy- Now I can operate on patients without turning them weird colors!
Spock- I am pleased to see that these chemicals did not spill. Some are very toxic.
Snodgrass- (looks at Spock's chemicals nervously) Where're my lightbulbs?
Uhura- Oh yeah. We put those up outside the Enterprise. You can get someone to take them down.
McCoy- Why didn't the lightbulbs float away?
Spock- The doctor is right. It is impossible to "hang up" lightbulbs in space.
Sulu- (shrugs) Impossible or not, we did it.
Kirk- (is holding pieces up paper in his hands) I really must be going! Toodle-do! (leaves)
McCoy- What is Jim hiding? (to Spock) I didn't know those were your chemicals! I thought your suitcase had letters from Amanda in it!
Spock- You were mistaken, Doctor.
Chekov- (suspiciously) Why did you think that Spock had letters in his?
McCoy- (hastily) Heh, heh! I just guessed!
Chekov- Riiiight, sure.
McCoy- That must be what Jim has! Letters from his mother! Ha!
Sulu- The only problem with giving our bags to the Ferengi is that now we don't have them!
Uhura- At least we don't have stupid bags that match anymore!
Narrator- All the crew goes and puts their belongings away.
Scene 23
Narrator- Now we go to a shuttle craft that is zooming away from the Enterprise.
Fargo- Muahahahaha! I'll be back Kirk! Wait, I will? Why should I be? I have your valuables!
Narrator- Fargo opens a brown leather suitcase and finds only a slip of paper.
Slip of paper- Hope you enjoy our "valuables", Mister "Honest Merchant" Ha ha! So long, sucker!
Fargo- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Scene 24
Narrator- The scene is the bridge. McCoy and all the rest of the bridge crew are present. Suddenly, they hear a loud scream coming from space.
Kirk- What was that?
Sulu- It sounded like no, sir.
Kirk- Okaaaay. Weird.
Chekov- Just wondering, not zat it matters, but do we actually have an assignment? I mean, ozer zan ze brown leazer suitcase thing.
Kirk- You mean a mission? I dunno. Do we?
Uhura- As a matter a fact, we do.
Kirk- Ooops. What is it?
Uhura- We're supposed to catch a Ferengi prisoner.
Kirk- What's his name?
Uhura- Fargo.
Snodgrass- Isn't that a city in Texas?
All but Snodgrass- NO! It's in NORTH DAKOTA!!
Sulu- Uh-oh! We were supposed to catch him!
McCoy- We let him go! Great, just great!
Spock- I see nothing great about the situation, Doctor.
Kirk- Maybe Starfleet will let us off.
McCoy- Maybe they'll forget about the mission.
Kirk- Great idea, Bones! Let's go Klingon hunting, then by the time we get back, Starfleet will have forgotten about the stupid mission!
All but Spock- Yeah! We're going on a Klingon Hunt!
Ensign Snodgrass- Wait, that sounds dangerous.
Kirk- Dangerous? But danger is our business! When man first looked at the stars-
(As Kirk is talking it switches to a scene of the Enterprise in space, zooming away toward the neutral zone)
THE END
(By the way, the "danger is our business" speech belongs to Tavia, and it's really "risk is our business". I can't claim it, even though it's hilarious)
REVIEWERS-
Meakashi Gosterful- I'm glad you liked my story, but as you can see, I still had one more chapter to post. Spock is pretty hard to get right, and people complain if you screw up his personality.
Romulan Empress (Stephanie)- Our sequel is coming along, sloooowly. We don't have that much time to work on it, and not too much inspiration. But it'll be up soon, hopefully. Thanks for reviewing!