Disclaimer: C.S.I. not owned by me, more's the pity.

Author's notes: It's been fun, I've had a great time and I hope that you have too. Thank you from the bottom, sides and top of my heart for your reviews and support.

Thanks also to those of you who emailed me directly, you know who you are, if you hadn't bothered I wouldn't have either!!

Rating: R

The Holiday Assignment (8)

Grissom didn't bother to set his alarm so they slept for several hours until Sara surfaced long enough to realise that she was still wearing her pants. Only half awake she took them off, dropped them on the floor, and then fell back to sleep for a few more hours.

Grissom woke up, not entirely certain what it was that had disturbed him. He tried to focus on his watch but without his glasses he couldn't see the time. He was about to look at his clock when he heard the doorbell. He wondered if it had been the bell that had awakened him.

He suddenly remembered that his Mom was coming over today.

He quickly got out of the bed and found his robe.

"Sara, wake up honey, someone's at the door."

Sara gave a grumpy moan and pulled the quilt over her head. Grissom was reasonably certain that she was not awake.

The doorbell went again for longer this time and was followed by knocking.

Grissom hurried to the door, tying his belt as he went. He opened the door to see his mother standing there. She looked dismayed.

"Oh, darling, I woke you up!"

Grissom smiled as he stepped back for his mother to enter the house. He made sure that he faced her when he spoke to her.

"No, it's okay, don't worry."

They hugged and Grissom was given a kiss on his cheek. He took his mother's coat, and hung it up before they moved to the couch.

The elder Grissom regarded the younger and smiled.

"I don't know what it is, but something's obviously agreeing with you."

Grissom inclined his head and gave his mother a smile that was almost bashful.

"I've got a surprise for you."

Just at that moment Sara came flying out of the bedroom wearing only a T-shirt and panties, with her hand over her mouth. She shot into the bathroom and the door slammed behind her. The sound of retching made Grissom wince.

His mother looked at him, her eyebrows raised.

" Colour me 'surprised'."

Twenty minutes later, Grissom had dressed, made coffee for himself and his mother and had taken Sara clean clothes and a soft drink to the bathroom.

Sara was upset.

"I wanted to make an impression on your mom."

Grissom contained his mirth to a small twitch of his lips.

"You certainly did that."

Sara glared at him.

"This is not funny."

Grissom allowed a small smile to escape.

"Yes, it is, and in a little while you'll find it funny too."

Sara sighed. She looked forlornly at Grissom.

"What did you tell her?"

Grissom's eyes twinkled.

"I had just told her that I had a surprise for her when you made your entrance. She conceded that she was indeed surprised. I have not told her about the baby, but I should think she's already putting two and two together."

"What does she know about us?"

"Do you mean how far back? I may have mentioned you from time to time in 'Frisco. She will certainly recognise your name."

"As your student?"

Grissom shook his head.

"I kept that to myself out of self preservation. Mom knows of the Sara from the 'Frisco lab., and that you came out here for the internal investigation over Holly Gribb's death."

"Okay. Give me a minute and I'll come out."

"Don't worry, she doesn't bite until she gets to know you."

Sara smiled a little.

"Gil, do you think she'll like me?"

"Yes. And what's more, when she knows that I love you, she will too."

Sara hoped so.

"Does your Mom use ASL or lip-read?"

"Both. She lip-reads by preference, but sometimes when she's tired or she's with someone else who is also deaf she'll use ASL. She didn't lose her hearing until she was an adult, so she can speak normally."

"Oh. It's just that I've only learnt the alphabet and a few of the more common phrases, so - "

Grissom interrupted.

"You'll be fine. I'm impressed that you've picked it up so quickly."

Sara looked at Grissom with gratitude.

"Thanks. Okay, I'll be out shortly."



Grissom left the bathroom and returned to the main room. His mother looked up from the couch with concern.

"How is she?"

Grissom smiled.

"Much better now. Embarrassed more than anything else. Wanted to make a good impression."

"Darling, you are forty six years old. If you have finally found the right woman to be with you then it doesn't matter what impression I have, I'll still give her a medal."

Grissom laughed aloud.

"Thanks Mom. I thought you'd given up years ago."

His mother looked at him with a grin that knocked years off her.

"Well, reading between the lines, you did get my hopes up a little when you started not talking about Sara Sidle all those years ago. That was when I figured that she'd knocked you for six."

Grissom gaped in shock.

"You knew?"

"I knew before you did. Unfortunately, I also knew that nothing would come of it, neither of you were ready. I was sorry that I never met her."

Grissom's shock was replaced by amusement again.

"You just did. That was Sara."

Now it was his mother's turn to be surprised.

"Sara from San Francisco?"

Grissom nodded.

"Oh you silly boy, why didn't you tell me that you were seeing each other?"

"It would have got hopes up."

"Of course it would have got my hopes up."

Grissom looked at her seriously.

"No, Mom, my hopes."

"I like her better and better."

Before his mother could say anything else, the bathroom door opened and Sara came out. She was wearing black pants and a loose fitting shirt with three-quarter sleeves. And a nervous smile.

Grissom went over to her side and his mother stood to greet Sara.

"Sara, I'd like you to meet my Mom, Mom, this is Sara."

Grissom's mother didn't give Sara a chance to protest, she just gave her a huge hug while Sara stood a little awkwardly in the embrace. Sara looked at the smirking Grissom behind his mother's back and shot him an 'I'll get you' look.

Sara was finally released. She straightened and remembered to face his Mom.

"Erm, hello."

"Hello at last, my dear. Gil has told me a little about you over the years. Are you feeling a little better now?"

"Oh, yes, thanks."

"Come and sit down and we can talk. Gil darling, go and find something to do, Sara and I have lots to talk about."

Sara's eyes widened in amusement at the summary dismissal of Grissom.

"In a minute, Mom."

Grissom looked at Sara with a question in his eyes. Shall we tell her now?

Sara looked back at him and shrugged minutely. Yeah, why not?

Grissom's mother observed the interplay without seeming to and hid her amusement and delight at her son's choice. This Sara would keep him on his toes and he'd love it.

She watched as Gil took Sara's hand in his.

"We have an early Christmas present for you."

"What is it?"

"Sara and I are expecting a baby."

There was a moment of silence and the enormity of what he had just said suddenly struck Grissom. My God, they were going to have a baby.

"Oh, darling, congratulations to you both!"

Grissom got the first hug and kiss, and Sara was more prepared for hers this time round.

Grissom's mom looked delighted.

"When is it due?"

"August 3rd."

Grissom looked at Sara to see how she was holding up. Not too badly by the look of things. He looked back at his Mom.

His mother lit up with obvious happiness. He realised that she had probably given up on the idea of grandchildren.

"I get a daughter and a grandchild. I'm so excited."

Sara blamed her hormones for the emotional reaction she was having to Gil's mother's joy. She felt all girlie and weepy. It was very unlike her. She didn't like it, but she reminded herself of the words 'hot bath'. Gil wasn't the only one on a learning curve.

Grissom's mother patted the place beside her on the couch and told Sara to sit down again, so that they could chat. Sara cast a quick glance at Grissom as he made himself scarce. She would get him back for that little smirk later.

Sara enjoyed talking to Gil's mother. As she would have expected she was an intelligent woman. She had a keen sense of humour and a ready wit. She hadn't gone deaf until Gil had been eight years old so they discovered that they had some music tastes in common. As she pointed out, many of the songs being sung today were covers of other artists' work. Music and her son's voice had been the two biggest losses when she went deaf.

She never referred to Grissom's father and Sara didn't ask.

Grissom returned whilst the women were getting to know each other and started getting a meal ready. The women let him get on with it.

He couldn't hear what they were talking about, just the odd burst of laughter now and then. The only time he got worried was when he heard the word 'photo's' and saw his Mom reach for her handbag.

God no, not those old things. All of a sudden he was thirteen years old and his Mom was showing his baby butt to his girlfriend. The humiliation!

"Mom!"

He knew that she wouldn't hear, but also knew that Sara would turn towards him at his cry. His Mom looked up at him with a grin and he signed rapidly to her.

Sara recognised the symbol for 'no' 'please' and 'goodbye' amongst the sentence.

She rightly guessed that Gil was telling his mom that she wasn't to show the pictures or she would be shown the door.

Mrs. Grissom was not in the least deterred.

She handed Sara the four photos and pointed out the brief history of Gil, from four months to age seventeen. Sara looked at them carefully, intrigued by the pictures of Gil at such a young age. At seventeen he looked gangly with a mop of very curly brown hair. He was leaning against a wall with both his arms and legs crossed; looking very put out at being photographed.

She turned the photo over and read 'Gil, back yard 1973'.

She would have been two when this photo was taken.

She smiled at Gil's mom, handing the photo's back.

"They are lovely, thank you for showing me."

"It was my pleasure Sara."

Grissom walked past them to place two plates on the table. He went back for the third one and a bottle of wine.

As he walked away from her, Sara turned her head to follow him, knowing that his Mom wouldn't be able to lip-read.

"Nice butt Gil."

Grissom stopped dead and turned to glare at her. She had a big grin on her face.

"C'mon Mr Rear of the Year, get that cute tush back over here. Some of us are eating for two."

"Some of us are going to get into big trouble if they persist with this subject."

Grissom spoke quite mildly but Sara was left in no doubt as to his feelings on the matter.

Her smile widened even further.

Grissom returned to the table and indicated that the women should join him.

The two favourite women in his life exchanged conspiratorial grins and he knew - regardless of what they were eating - that his goose was cooked.

^^^^^^

Contrary to Sara's initial fears the visit from Grissom's mom sped by and they had a good time. Sara felt that she had gained more of an insight into Grissom's mindset. She certainly understood why he was so quiet and self contained. Growing up in a household without verbal communication he was much more aware of visual clues and body language. So much of the 'speech' in sign language depended on where the sign was positioned as well as the actual hand shape.

Kind of ironic that he completely refused to see years worth of 'take me, I'm yours' coming from her.

After his mother had left, with much fanfare and promises to see each other more often, Grissom returned to the kitchen to make some more coffee, decaffeinated this time, so that Sara might enjoy one of the cups that she allowed herself only occasionally now that she was pregnant.

"You okay?"

Sara looked up from her position on the couch.

"Yeah, fine." She paused, watching Grissom move easily around the kitchen. "I like your Mom."

Grissom smiled as he wiped up a small spill of milk.

"So I gathered. She likes you too."

Sara pulled her feet up on to the couch and tucked them under a throw cushion that she had brought from her place.

Grissom brought the coffee over and sat down beside Sara. She shifted so that she could lean against him and he put his arm around her.

Sara felt amazingly aware. She could feel Gil's shirt on her cheek, the warmth of his body and arm around her, and the smell of freshly laundered clothes mingled with shower gel and the essential scent of Gil. She relaxed, feeling securely wrapped within his presence and his love. She didn't think that she had ever felt quite like this before. She closed her eyes as they stung with the strength of her emotions.

Grissom didn't move to get his coffee. Sara fit perfectly within his embrace and he was loath to move her. She had her left arm around his chest, her thumb tucked just inside the waist of his pants at his side.

This was one of the moments he knew that he would remember and come back to from time to time. For these precious minutes everything was all right in their world. Reality would intrude later, but for now he was content.

^^^^^^

Getting ready for work Friday evening, Grissom wiped the last of the shaving gel from his face and grinned when he realised that Sara had drawn a smiley face in the condensation on the mirror.

"Someone's in a good mood."

Sara tugged on her wet hair, trying to get a knot out.

"Yeah, well, I don't feel sick at the moment. Don't worry, it won't last."

Grissom took the comb out of her hand and gently teased out the knot.

Sara watched their reflections in the mirror and smiled as Gil's tongue peeked out as he concentrated on the knot until it was free. He looked up and handed her comb back.

"With any luck it should stop soon. The first three months are supposed to be the worst."

Their eyes met in the mirror, his confident, hers suspicious.

"Have you got a book stashed away somewhere that you're reading up on this stuff?"

"Um...well..."

"C'mon. Yes or no, Gil."

"I guess that the answer would be 'yes' then."

He waited for her to be angry that they hadn't bought it together.

"Aww, that is so sweet! We'll have to read it together later."

Unwisely he relaxed. Sara pounced.

"Or perhaps not. I'm probably several chapters behind!"

Grissom looked at his reflection in the mirror as Sara marched past him out to the bedroom.

Ah, yes. Chapter two, mood swings.

He smiled as he loaded toothpaste on his toothbrush.

Minutes later Grissom jumped when he heard Sara call his name. The cry had been an odd mixture of anger and frustration.

He rushed to the bedroom, wiping his face as he went.

"What's up?"

Sara was standing in the middle of the floor wearing a bra and a pair of pants. The pants were undone.

With Grissom watching, she tried to do the zipper up. She didn't get very far.

"See? They won't do up!"

Grissom looked around the room.

"What about the pair you had on earlier?"

"I put them in the laundry - they're wet. And these are the third and last pair I've got here. None of them fit anymore."

Grissom rummaged through the drawer beside the bed and found a safety pin.

"This will do temporarily until we can get you some more pants. You'll have to wear a long shirt over them."

They were so caught up in the practical that it took them both a minute to realise the significance of what had happened.

Sara looked and sounded shocked.

"My pants are too small."

Grissom initially looked shocked, but it changed to a look of wonder as he placed a warm hand on Sara's belly.

"That's amazing."

Grissom's quiet comment held the same wonder that showed on his face.

They looked at each other.

It was the first time that it really hit them that the baby was real.

^^^^^^

"When do you want to tell them at work?"

Grissom's question came as he helped Sara in to her jacket. He stood behind her with his hands resting on her shoulders.

Sara turned in his arms and looked at him. She had already given this a lot of thought.

"Only Catherine, Warrick and Nick know about us. Brass and Greg may have their suspicions, but they don't know for sure. If it's okay with you, for now I want to leave you out of the equation."

Grissom opened his mouth to protest but Sara held up one hand.

"Hear me out. It will be obvious that I'm pregnant very soon, but think about it, who knows that you're the father? You said yourself even Eckle didn't know that piece of information or he would have already done something about it. We've got months to go yet, let's get as far as we can without complicating it unnecessarily. I know who the father is and so do you. That's all I care about, I don't give a crap what people think about it or me. I'm big enough to take it, okay?"

Grissom searched her eyes looking for signs of uncertainty. He found none.

"I'll only agree to this on the understanding that you will tell me the minute - the second - that you need me to help you in whatever way is required. And that includes going public about us."

Sara touched his face gently.

"Okay. It's a deal. But I'll let you know first if I need to do it. Until then, 'It's not a lie to keep the truth to one's self'."

Grissom thought that the last piece had sounded like a quote.

"Who said that?"

Sara grinned.

"Spock."

"Dr. Spock?"

"Mister."

The look on Grissom's face was priceless.

^^^^^^

Friday night was busy as usual, and the whole shift was out and about at various times of the night. Sara kept her CSI jacket on most of the time that she was out of the building, and her laboratory coat on when she was in. She didn't think anyone noticed particularly, but it was difficult to hide anything for long in this sort of job.

Sara went to Trace in answer to her beeper. She found Greg leaning on the workbench, a printout in his hand and a smug grin on his face.

"You don't deserve me."

Sara occasionally found Greg's posturing irritating, but tonight she found it didn't bother her as much as usual.

"You're right, Greg..."

Greg started to preen until Sara continued.

"...I haven't done anything that bad."

Sara held out her hand for the printout.

Greg pouted good-naturedly and handed over the results.

Sara scanned the results and gave Greg the grin that he loved.

"Yes! Where's Catherine?"

Sara was eager to share her findings.

"Find Warrick, two for one."

Greg waggled his eyebrows suggestively and turned back to his work.

Sara left Trace after thanking Greg for his work, a little disconcerted at his remark about Catherine and Warrick. She supposed that he probably hinted about Grissom and herself to the others too. She sighed.

She found Catherine alone in the break room and showed her the test results.

"Great, that'll tie up nicely for tomorrow. We're done."

Sara nodded and then looked around the room. She looked back to Catherine.

"Ready for tomorrow night?"

"Oh yeah. Could do with a break."

"Will Lindsey be there?"

"She had a 'prior engagement'. She's been invited to a sleepover, which is why I picked this weekend. I don't have to collect her until Noon on Sunday. I get a lie in!"

"Who else is coming to the party?"

"You, me, Warrick, Nicky, Greg, Bobby, Brass, Doc Robbins if he can make it, a couple of others, about a dozen in total, and of course our fearless leader. Nick hinted that he might be bringing someone, but he won't say who, though I've an idea."

"Ah. Very possibly medically trained?"

Catherine grinned.

"Got it in one."

Both women were laughing when Grissom stuck his head in the room.

"When you have a minute Catherine?"

Catherine turned to him and said "Sure." Then turned back to Sara and pulled a face, mouthing the word 'oops'.

Sara put her hand up to hide her grin.

Catherine turned to follow Grissom, turning her head back to Sara.

"Later."

Sara nodded.

^^^^^^

Saturday morning after their shift, Sara and Grissom drove back to the townhouse in separate vehicles. Sara parked and locked up and joined Grissom in his Tahoe.

They went and bought breakfast, then went clothes shopping. Sara thought that Grissom would hate it, but he was quite patient. He seemed to treat a lot of his new experiences with Sara as if they were fascinating experiments. He compared and contrasted various items of clothing, giving his reasons why one was more acceptable than another. As he got more involved he got a little carried away.

After a jaw dropping conversation in the bra department of one store - involving the merits of underwiring or not - Sara decided that she'd had enough for the day.

Grissom was baffled.

Normally Sara was assiduous about data collection.

By the time they got home around eleven Sara had begun to see the funny side and Grissom was relieved that he had not ruined the day.

At least she now had pants that fit and an outfit for the party at Catherine's.

^^^^^^

"Sara?"

Grissom looked around the main room as he called out to find Sara. He noticed that all the packages that they had bought had been cleared up and taken away, even his things.

"Bedroom!"

Grissom followed the sound of her voice and found her beside what he now referred to as her set of drawers, putting away lingerie. He found himself momentarily distracted at the sight of the delicate lacy items.

Sara looked up and smirked at the expression on Grissom's face. Oh yeah this was right up his street.

"What's up honey?"

Grissom licked suddenly dry lips and wondered if it was only his imagination that had made Sara's casual enquiry sound so inviting and sensual.

For a long moment Grissom genuinely couldn't remember what he had wanted to say to Sara when he called her.

"I see you've collected the mail."

At Sara's observation he looked at his hand and the post it contained.

"Ah, yes, there's a letter for you. I think it's from the hospital."

Grissom held out the piece of mail for Sara. She took it and ripped off the envelope.

"Great, this should be the OB/GYN appointment."

She quickly scanned through the letter and then scowled. She checked the front of the envelope.

"Something wrong?"

"This was posted to my place and redirected here, taking nearly a week. I've got an appointment for ten o'clock on Monday."

Grissom quickly reviewed their work schedules for Monday. Neither of them were due in court. Working graveyard was handy for seeing people during the day if you didn't mind managing without some of your sleep.

"That's okay, we can both make that easily."

"Cool. We can still come back and go to bed." She grinned, "Might even get some sleep too."

Grissom smiled in agreement, recalling part of the latest chapter in the pregnancy book he now had on his nightstand. Pregnant women fell roughly into two main groups with regard to sex during pregnancy; those that noticed a distinct lack of interest in it, and those that found their interest in it had increased dramatically.

He was surprised to read that men also fell in to those two categories too. Apparently some men refuse to touch their partners from the moment they found out about the pregnancy. Extraordinary. Thank God he and Sara were on the same page about it.

Sara casually dropped the letter onto the top of the drawer unit and turned to close the drawer.

Before she had chance, Grissom's hand snaked out and picked up a delicate looking froth of black lace.

"Very nice. I don't recall seeing these before."

Sara grinned but made no attempt to take the panties from Grissom.

"What - you have all my panties memorised?"

Grissom tipped his head sideways as he raised his eyebrows and smirked at her.

"Whilst some are more memorable than others, the sheer novelty of being able to see them - "

"And remove them!!"

" - and remove them - has pretty much committed them to my long term memory. As I said, I don't recall seeing these before."

Sara loved to see the teasing side of Grissom. It spoke volumes to her about how far they had come in their relationship for him to be this relaxed.

Grissom's hand still held the black lace and Sara loved the hopeful look in his eyes.

"You want me to put them on just so that you can take them off?"

Sara pretended to be exasperated and sighed heavily, but she couldn't keep the gleam out of her eyes and she knew that she hadn't fooled Gil for a moment.

Grissom nodded, trying unsuccessfully to keep the grin off his face. He was no better at it than Sara.

"I suppose that you want the matching bra as well then?"

"Only if you're wearing it." Grissom said with a straight face.

Sara was laughing even as she turned to collect the bra from the drawer.

She snatched the panties from him and headed for the door. She turned back in the doorway to look at him.

"I'll be back in a moment. Do not undress except for shoes and socks."

"No dear."

Grissom grinned, hearing her laughter as she went to the bathroom. He looked at the alarm clock and figured that they would both sleep afterwards - he felt a jolt of anticipation run through him at Sara's preparations - so he closed the drapes in readiness.

His hand went to his shirt until he remembered her request. Mmm, more of an order, really. He kicked off his shoes and removed his socks, putting them in the laundry.

He turned down the bed and took his watch off.

He sat down on the end of the bed facing the door. He leaned forward and adjusted the fabric of his pants. Damned if he wasn't turned on already before she'd even got back.

Hearing a soft footstep, Grissom looked up to see Sara standing in the doorway. He swallowed heavily at the sight of her in the new underwear. Definitely keepers.

Sara had the same thought as she looked at the expression on Gil's face. He looked like someone who had been offered his three favourite desserts and couldn't decide where to start.

She sashayed over and stood in front of him. She wasn't embarrassed about herself in front of him; he always made her feel very feminine and desirable.

Grissom looked at Sara's face when she stopped in front of him. Not for the first time he wondered what he had done to deserve this wonderful woman.

"You are so beautiful it takes my breath away."

Sara overrode her instinctive reaction to deny his statement. She knew better than that now.

"When I am with you, you make me feel that beautiful."

Grissom looked into her eyes and smiled gently. His gaze went to her lips, then her neck, then down to her breasts, currently at his eye level. They had definitely increased in size and - he suspected - in sensitivity.

He continued his visual journey moving down Sara's body to her stomach, which although still slim, was showing the soft curve that had necessitated the shopping trip. He followed the curve down to the new panties and realised to his surprise that they had the pattern of a butterfly incorporated in to the intricate lacework. He glanced back to Sara's face and could tell from her smile that she knew what he had discovered. He shook his head with a wry grin and moved on, down her long legs.

Having completed his visual feast he stood up in front of her. She followed him with her eyes, her pupils large and dark with arousal.

He hadn't even touched her yet but was solidly erect.

Sara met his gaze with confidence and serenity. She had remained still while Gil had looked at her as if she were the most precious and desirable creature know to him.

She could not fail to appreciate how he felt about her.

Gil had done it again. How could he arouse her without even lifting a finger?

Her breath was coming in quick pants and drying her lips. Her tongue tip appeared briefly to moisten them.

Gil's penetrating blue gaze fell to her lips and then back up to her eyes. Her breath hitched in her throat at the blatant desire in his eyes.

Sara waited in an agony of anticipation as he slowly leaned toward her.

After an eternity their lips finally met in gentle salute.

Grissom tipped his head slightly, angling his lips to slide again against hers.

Sara leaned into the kiss unable to resist increasing the pressure of her mouth upon his.

Considering the evidence of his desire, Sara marvelled at his ability to be so restrained.

Grissom's lips parted, but only the tip of his tongue touched her lips in a gentle sweeping caress. She realised that he was encouraging her to take the lead in their lovemaking. She kissed him deeply, her tongue seeking his to both plunder and yield to him.

For long moments only their mouths were touching. Grissom's mouth made love to Sara's, his lips and tongue creating magic until she could only moan with pleasure.

It wasn't enough for either of them. Grissom could wait no longer and took Sara into his arms, holding her against the length of him. Her arms went underneath his and up behind his shoulders, clasping him to her.

At the sensation of Grissom's shirt on her flesh Sara remembered what she had planned for him. She tore her mouth away from his and gasped - as he did - for breath.

When he dipped his head again, she put a hand flat on his chest to stop him.

He looked confused at her behaviour, concerned that he had hurt her in some way.

Sara smiled to reassure him, briefly cupping his face with both of her hands. Her hands then moved to his shirt buttons and started to undo them, one at a time.

She watched his face as she progressed towards his pants. She could see his anticipation building as she approached his belt. When he move to undo it she stopped him, then returned to the buttons.

"No, this is my treat to you. Just relax."

Relaxed was the last thing Grissom was feeling, but he was willing to play the game. Finally all the buttons were undone and he still didn't know how he had managed to keep his hands off her.

When he had handed the leading role to her his intention had merely been to ensure that she knew that he was mindful of the changes to her body that might be uncomfortable for her. He didn't realise that she had already decided that she was setting the pace today.

He discovered that he liked the idea.

Being a cautious man himself he had an appreciation of Sara's ability to abandon caution when she chose to. Despite what other people may have thought he had sufficient experience with women to understand exactly how open-minded Sara was and just how compatible they were sexually. Staggeringly so.

So if she wanted to tell him what to do, that was fine by him.

Sara pulled Grissom's shirt open and took a moment to savour his chest before she ran her hands over the warm skin.

Eventually - and not a moment too soon in Grissom's opinion - Sara's hands dropped to the belt at his waist. She slowly unhooked the belt and pulled it apart. Still not removing her gaze from his face, she undid the button, then even more slowly slid the zipper down, carefully avoiding the hard bulge beneath the pants material. Grissom's breathing was as rapid as Sara's was and he was flushed with arousal.

Sara allowed the pants to fall to the floor and pushed the shirt off Grissom's shoulders to join them. He stepped out of the pool of bunched material and kicked them off to one side. He watched with fascination as Sara licked her lips again.

She hooked both index fingers in the opposite sides of the boxers that were Grissom's sole source of cover and dragged them down as well. He obligingly stepped out of them too.

Sara gaze swept over him and she liked what she saw. She reached out again to run her hands over his arms, shoulders and chest. She felt him shudder as her hands glided down to his waist, then heard his sharp intake of breath as her hand closed over his arousal. When her other hand gently cupped him he couldn't help but moan.

"God, I must..."

Instead of wasting time trying to explain, Grissom pulled her into his arms and covered her mouth with his own.

Sara's lips were full and succulent beneath his, and he felt no reluctance in her response. He felt her fingers burrow into his hair and her tongue demanded entrance to his mouth, deepening their kiss. After several long dragging kisses he abandoned her mouth to trail hot open mouthed kisses and soft bites down her jaw and neck. His left arm held her close while his right hand moved from her back to the front, where it gently closed over a covered breast, taking the weight in his palm. They both moaned aloud at the sensations ripping through them.

Sara's body arched towards him, pushing her breast into his hand. She could feel the heightened sensitivity in her body's response to Gil's touch. Her nipples hardened and puckered through the flimsy lace, provoking Grissom. His body was practically begging him to taste her. He leaned down and traced one of the proud silk-covered peaks with his tongue, then with his mouth. Sara moaned and squirmed hard up against him.

Grissom slid his right hand down to her panties and under the elastic. He barely grazed her clitoris as he sought her heat but she shuddered and clutched at his head, moaning in delight.

He could hardly stand having her this hot and willing and God, so wet, without being inside her. She was ploughing a furrow through his plans for slow and careful.

Grissom eased Sara back on to the bed, lowering her to the crisp cotton and following her down.

The touch of the cool sheets on her back reminded Sara that she had planned this to go a different way as part of Gil's treat. Not that he seemed to mind.

She tried to concentrate but Gil's clever fingers were creating chaos.

"Wait!"

Grissom stopped instantly, his eyes flying to Sara's. He ached everywhere with the urge to sink into her warmth, but he waited.

"Please, I want you on your back."

Relieved at her request to continue Grissom rolled over on to his back and moved to the middle of the bed. Sara straddled his thighs, her knees beside his hips. He had a perfect view of her and 'umm'd' in appreciation as he ran his hands up her thighs.

He reached between her legs and stroked through the wet lace, making Sara shudder again.

"This is meant to be for you!"

Grissom smiled at her cry.

"Oh, I can assure you it's working for me."

Sara took hold of him, running her thumb over tip of him, spreading the moisture there and almost sending him over the edge.

She knelt up, letting him go temporarily and hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties to remove them but Grissom stopped her.

"Lean forward."

Sara leaned towards him, placing her left hand on the bed beside his shoulder. As her hips raised higher she realised what he intended and took hold of him again with her right hand and lined him up.

He moved aside the lace crotch of the panties and eased easily inside her, moving his hands to her hips to brace her.

Sara arched forward, taking him in deeper until he was as far in as possible.

Grissom really wanted to slow down but it was Sara's show. Her hips rocked with his as they moaned out their pleasure. The additional friction as he moved against the lace panties was extremely erotic. He took advantage of the closeness of Sara's breast to uncover and recapture a nipple with his mouth. He timed his thrusts with his suckling and Sara didn't stand a chance.

In seconds she was on the verge of climax. Her shocked eyes flew open and looked at Gil's face at her breast. The ecstasy on his face was plain to see and sent her over the precipice, the white heat flood of sensation stunning her with its intensity and making her muscles milk him.

Grissom surrendered gratefully into an explosive climax that left him shaking in its wake.

Sara collapsed down on to Grissom and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her secure while they floated back to earth. Sara's hair lay like silk across his cheek and he had no desire or energy to move the strands. But he managed to say something.

"Love you."

Sara's breath puffed against his neck as she tried to speak.

"I love you too...and...that was..."

Grissom grinned tiredly, pulling up the covers.

"Awesome."

^^^^^^

As Grissom had predicted they slept until about six in the late afternoon. They had a light meal that left their hunger satisfied but left space for 'party food' as Sara called it.

If anyone had been in any doubt as to how the newly fledged couple were faring with their new domestic arrangements they would have been reassured by watching the two of them get ready to go out for the evening. Just as they did their 'geek mind meld' at a crime scene, so it seemed to work around the town house. They didn't clash in the bathroom or get in each other's way in the kitchen or bedroom. It flowed effortlessly and they found themselves ready to go out ten minutes early.

They decided to leave anyway and pick up some flowers for Catherine on their way.

Grissom automatically picked up his keys for the Tahoe as they headed for the door.

"Do you want to drive, or shall I?"

Sara's question halted Grissom's forward momentum. He looked at Sara, wondering which way to jump. The baby book had said the odd glass of wine was okay.

"I don't mind driving. What do you want to do?"

"I just thought that you might want a drink."

"I don't usually drink that much anyway, but thanks for the thought. I'll drive there and if I get paralytic you can drive us home."

Grissom said it with a straight face.

"As if."

Sara scoffed with amusement at the idea of Grissom drunk at a party.

The man had too many secrets to get drunk.

Grissom looked at Sara as she smiled. She looked lovely this evening.

He had to get used to the idea that he was allowed to tell her so now.

"What?" Sara quizzed at his expression.

"I was just thinking how lovely you looked and getting used to the idea that I can tell you so."

As Sara was feeling both nervous and queasy Grissom's compliment could not have come at a better time.

"Thank you for that. You're looking pretty sharp yourself tonight."

Grissom automatically looked down at himself and tried to look modest.

It wouldn't do to let her think he'd made a huge effort just for her, now would it?

"What? This old thing?"

Sara openly grinned at him as he stood there trying to look innocent. He had on his dark silvery grey suit with a black shirt and a tie that matched the suit exactly. He looked good enough to eat.

"Pity about the undone fly though."

Grissom quickly looked down again in consternation.

"Gotcha."

Sara's throaty laughter rang out as they left the house.

^^^^^^

The party was in full swing when they arrived. Warrick had greeted them at the door and took them through a thoroughly Christmas decorated house to the kitchen where the drinks were.

The music, which had been a little loud in the rest of the house, was more subdued in the kitchen and they could speak without shouting.

"Catherine's put the food out in the lounge, help yourself whenever."

They thanked Warrick and he nodded 'no problem' on his way out of the kitchen.

In the Tahoe on the way over Sara and Grissom decided that they would behave towards each other as if they were at work. There would be people at the party who did not know - at least officially - about the change in their relationship. It wouldn't be fair to those that did know to create gossip with their behaviour.

So, with that in mind Sara poured herself a ginger ale mixer while Grissom helped himself to a glass of wine. He took the flowers for Catherine with him through to the other room while Sara went to see if Nick had turned up yet.

Before she had taken two paces Greg appeared in front of her. Judging by the almost fiendish grin that he gave her, he had taken more than one trip to the kitchen already this evening.

"May I say that you are looking stunning thizevening?"

Sara smiled with amusement. Yep, he was definitely on his way.

"Thanks Greggo. You okay?"

Greg appeared to give the question serious consideration then gave a lop-sided grin.

"I am cool. Totally cool. Can I get you something? Anything?"

Implicit in his tone was the flirty undercurrent that he usually tried with Catherine at work. Sara thought that he must be juiced to try it on her. She tried to keep her face straight.

"No, I'm fine. Go, enjoy."

Greg affected a disappointed expression but his eyes gleamed with humour.

"If you insist." Greg went past her in to the kitchen, "I'll be waiting should you tire of Grissom."

"What?!"

Sara spun around to glare at Greg to find him smirking at her, pointing his finger and palm at her in the shape of a pistol.

"Gotcha."

Sara managed to smile sarcastically at Greg, who went off laughing.

She went and found Catherine chatting with Jim Brass.

The detective looked slightly crumpled and a little weary. He had the weekend off but had been called back in this morning. He had left his pager at home this time and had not told anyone at work that he would be at Catherine's. He was still nursing his first beer. He and Catherine had been talking about the old days before his secondment back in to police work, but were happy to include Sara in their conversation when she joined them.

Standing opposite Brass, Sara could just see Grissom sitting beside David Robbins on the sofa. She couldn't hear what they were saying but that wasn't surprising with the music on, though someone had turned it down a little from when she and Gil had arrived.

Grissom glanced up and their eyes locked for a moment. Grissom turned to answer the doctor but still managed to make Sara feel acknowledged, not shut out as he had done so often in the past.

"Ah, Nicky's here!"

At Catherine's exclamation they turned to the doorway where Nick had just arrived, looking around the room for their hostess.

"And he's got company. I win my bet."

She and Sara grinned at each other as Helena entered the room on Nick's arm.

Brass recognised the dark haired woman from the hospital.

"How long has that been going on?"

"Nick's been cagey about her, but he's winning her around I think. So, it's unofficially from about a week after they met."

Nick spotted Catherine and came over, bringing Helena with him.

"Hi guys. Helena, you remember Catherine, Sara and Jim Brass?"

They exchanged hellos and Helena made them laugh when she dryly asked if the party was a family reunion.

"Sort of. It gets like that on the graveyard shift."

"I'm sure it does." Helena looked at Catherine. " I hope you don't mind but I've brought a friend of mine along, she was at a loose end as her 'do' fell through this evening."

"Sure, no problem, the more the merrier. Where is she?"

"Warrick took her in to the kitchen to show her the drinks; said that she looked like she could do with some Dutch courage. She's a little shy."

"War will sort her out, he'll have her dancing in no time."

Catherine put a hand on Sara and Brass either side of her as the little group smiled at her comment.

"I have to circulate and top up dips. Later."

Brass, Sara and Helena carried on talking while Nick went to get drinks for Helena and himself.

Over on the sofa Grissom listened to David Robbins and answered in all the right places. At least, he hoped he was, because he had to admit that he was distracted by Sara's presence. He also had to admit that part of him liked the fact that this evening their relationship was their 'secret'. It would not be diminished by other people's knowledge regarding them, but for the moment it was something that he hugged to himself with almost childish glee. She was his and his alone. He was struck by the dichotomy that another part of him - ancestral caveman, he suspected - felt a deep instinctual need to own, to possess and claim as his. Fortunately, the caveman wasn't in charge tonight.

"Sara's looking blooming this evening, don't you think?"

Doc Robbins' mild comment sank in to Grissom's consciousness.

"Excuse me?"

The sage coroner nodded subtly in Sara's direction. He had been wondering about the rumours that had filtered down to his department of late. He wasn't above rattling Gil's cage now and again.

"Young Ms.Sidle. Blooming."

Grissom employed his poker face. He looked at Sara with his best 'she is just one of the staff' look.

Sara was laughing at something Helena had just said and did indeed look lovely. And Robbins was right; blooming was just the word. The dress that Sara had chosen for this evening was cleverly cut so that it disguised rather than emphasised her waist, but standing as she was in profile to the two seated men there was no disguising her thickening waistline and her newly impressive cleavage.

Grissom risked looking back at Robbins before he decided on his response.

The older man looked from Sara back to Grissom. There was no censure in his gaze, but there was knowledge.

"You knew already."

Robbins nodded.

"Figured it out right about the time she fainted during a particularly interesting PM. Never done that before."

"She what?!" Grissom managed to keep his voice down but only just. "This is the first I've heard of it."

"Ah, that would be because she asked me not to mention it. She can be very insistent when she chooses. As I'm sure her partner already knows...whoever he is."

Robbins wished he'd brought his camera to capture Gil's expression right now.

He hadn't seen him this disconcerted in quite a while. It answered his question at any rate. He thought that they were well suited and he mentally wished them well. He certainly wasn't going to say anything out aloud until he was told officially.

Grissom's mind searched for some witty response but came up empty.

"I'm sure he does." He said lamely.

"Just as he's aware that he's a lucky bastard and he'd better not blow it with her either."

Grissom's head swivelled at the doctor's remark. His lips twitched despite his dismay that he obviously hadn't fooled the doctor for a moment.

"I'm sure he knows that too. Excuse me."

Grissom stood up with the intention of circulating for a while. Robbins took advantage of his two good legs and asked Gil to get him a beer when he was passing the kitchen.

Grissom nodded, making a note of the bottle.

Sara saw Grissom get up and go in the direction of the kitchen. She actually took a step in the same direction before she could stop herself, but managed to make it look as if she was just shifting from one foot to the other.

Jim Brass excused himself from the two women in order to get another drink and asked if Sara would like a top up, knowing that Nick was already getting Helena one.

"No, it's okay, I'm good."

Brass left and Helena turned to Sara.

"How have you been since you were injured?"

"Fine. Almost good as new."

"Nick said that you appeared to have recovered well. Mike Kelly was impressed with your luck - and your fiancé."

Sara looked chagrined at Helena's comment.

"Ah, Griss is not my fiancé, that was just..."

"...a ploy to get him in to see you, yes, I figured that out on the day. Nick hasn't said much about anything at work but as an outsider even I can see that you mean a great deal to Grissom. I had no trouble seeing him as your fiancé."

Sara didn't know what to say so she said nothing and took a sip of her drink.

Helena realised that she was transgressing on to forbidden territory.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise that you weren't together."

Sara shifted guiltily. Time for a change of subject.

"So, how did Nicky finally persuade you to go out with him?"

Helena smiled with the memory.

"He was very persistent. In anyone else with less charm, I think they would have called it stalking."

Sara laughed, well able to picture Nicky's pursuit.

"Did he ever explain about the fishy smell..."

"Hel-lo ladies!"

Greg appeared suddenly between the two women, making them both jump. He eyed Helena appreciatively before turning to Sara.

"Greg! You made me spill my drink!"

"I'll get you another. I've just heard that Nick the main man, has turned up with a real fox, so I'm on the scout. I hope it's not the brunette in the kitchen with Brass, she's not his type at all."

Sara smirked as she and Helena caught each other's eye.

"Ah, Greg, have you met my friend?"

Greg straightened up as best as possible. His hair was all over the place but his smile was genuine.

"No, I'm sure I'd remember. What's your name pretty lady?"

"Helena, but you can call me 'fox' if you like."

The two women were still laughing at Greg's expression when Nick returned with Helena's drink.

Greg retreated with as much of his dignity as he could muster.

Nick put his arm around Helena after he'd handed her drink to her.

"What was that all about Sugah?"

"Nothing, just meeting your workmates. They seem like a nice crowd."

"Yeah, they're not bad."

Nick looked at Sara, intending to excuse himself to take Helena around and introduce her to some of the other's. He was surprised to see her looking a little pensive.

"You okay Sar?"

Sara smiled at Nick, but it seemed a little forced to him.

"Yeah, I...er...just need the bathroom. Excuse me, would you?"

"Sure, if you - "

Nick found himself talking to thin air. He turned a baffled face to Helena.

"She was fine a minute ago. She say anything?"

Helena shook her head. Something about Sara rang her internal alarm.

"I'll go and check that she's okay."

Nick watched Helena follow Sara out of the door before wandering back to the kitchen where Brass was chatting to Helena's friend Claudia. Warrick was not in the room but Grissom was getting a beer. He thought it odd as he figured him for a wine man, but mentally shrugged a 'whatever'.

Ten minutes later he was talking to Bobby when Catherine came up to them, doing her rounds with two wine bottles, topping up glasses.

"Hey, Nicky, you managed to lose Helena already?"

"Naw, she went with Sara to the powder room. Sara didn't look too good. In fact, it's been a while. Would you go and check on them for me?"

Catherine surprised Nick by taking his concern seriously. She handed him the wine bottles.

"Sure. Back in five."

Catherine went straight to the bathroom upstairs and knocked on the door.

"Sara? Helena? It's me, Catherine. You okay?"

She heard the lock being undone and the door opened.

Sara was seated on the edge of the bath. She was as white as a sheet.

Helena went back to her position beside Sara. She was worried that the stubborn woman would faint and injure herself.

"Sara? What is it?"

She glanced at Helena briefly before answering Catherine.

"Just a little woozy, that's all."

Sara had both her arms clutched around her waist and was bent forward.

"Even I can see that's not all. You're in pain. Is it the baby?"

Sara glared at Catherine.

"What?"

"It's okay, I already know that you're pregnant. Mike Kelly told me of Grissom's concerns as part of your nursing care while you were in hospital. Catherine is right; you're obviously in pain. Are you cramping?"

Sara started to shake her head, then nodded, tears springing to her eyes.

"Has there been any spotting?"

"No. Just cramps."

Helena smiled gently, reassuringly.

"Well, that's good. We'll take you to hospital and get you checked over. You just need to try to relax."

Helena helped Sara to her feet but halted when she heard Catherine's involuntary gasp.

There was a bright scarlet smear of blood on the bath's edge.

Catherine looked at the stricken women.

"I'll get Gil."

She fairly ran out of the bathroom and nearly knocked Grissom down at the top of the stairs.

Nicky had been worried when Catherine didn't return either and had sent Grissom up after her.

Grissom didn't need the words; he could see it in Catherine's face. He tossed her his car keys.

"Go start the Tahoe, I'll get Sara."

Catherine didn't argue.

Grissom entered the bathroom, trying to maintain his calm for Sara but nearly lost it when he saw her tearstained face.

He wrapped a big thick bath sheet around her and gently picked her up then carried her carefully down the stairs and out to his car, reassuring her all the while.

Helena helped Grissom get her comfortable on the back seat. Sara clutched at his hand and wouldn't let him go.

"Don't leave me."

"Never. You're stuck with me now, but I need to drive honey."

Helena touched his sleeve.

"Stay with her, she needs to relax and you can help her keep calm. I'll get Nick and we'll come with you."

Grissom nodded gratefully and climbed in beside Sara.

Nick had gone back in to the kitchen to collect Helena's coat as soon as he saw Grissom carrying Sara downstairs. He knew that she would offer to go to the hospital and he knew that he would go too. He took some money out of his back pocket.

"Claudia, we've gotta go, will you be okay with a cab to get home?"

Claudia looked startled at first, not being privy to what was going on, but she knew Nick well enough by now to know that he wouldn't suggest this unless it was important.

"Umm, sure. That's fine. Is everything okay?"

Nick met Brass' eyes over Claudia's head.

"Sara's not well, we're just going to run her up to the hospital, I'm sure she'll be fine."

Brass had seen enough bad news delivered to read between the lines.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"I don't think so. See you later."

Nick left the kitchen and met Catherine and Warrick by the front door.

They both looked concerned. Catherine touched his arm as he passed by.

"Let us know when you can. Now go!"

Nick hurried to the Tahoe and within seconds they were on their way.

^^^^^^

Grissom braced himself with one hand against the Tahoe's roof as Nick swerved in to the bay reserved for ambulances outside the emergency department.

The younger man had done them proud in getting them here so quickly and Helena had phoned on ahead by cell phone, so there were medical staff waiting at the entrance for them.

As soon as the vehicle stopped Grissom got out and turned to help lift Sara out on to a gurney. He was horrified to realise that the bath sheet was wet with blood beneath Sara, but fought to keep the knowledge off his face.

"Hang in there honey, we're here and we've got help."

Sara was still conscious but with a vagueness that terrified Grissom.

As soon as they entered the hospital Sara was rushed through to the Resus section and Grissom was forcibly separated from her grasp as the receptionist insisted that he book 'the patient' in.

Helena went with Sara while Nick remained with the dazed Grissom.

The receptionist had seen it all before and had had a long day. She was poised at her computer.

"Name?"

Grissom tore his gaze from the doors that had just closed behind Sara.

"Excuse me?"

A tut. Heavy sigh. "Name?"

"Grissom, Gil Grissom."

Another sigh and a glare. "Her name?"

"Sara."

"Date of Birth?"

Grissom gave them Sara's date of birth without hesitation.

Nick was surprised. Even he didn't know Sara's date of birth.

"Insurance?"

Grissom turned to face the receptionist for the first time. He was profoundly grateful that he had already had Sara added to his medical insurance. He gave the woman all the necessary information in terse sentences. There were more questions.

"Clinical symptoms that prompted your arrival here?"

Grissom momentarily closed his eyes in torment.

"PV bleed, probable...miscarriage."

"Aww, man!"

Nick reacted with surprise at the confirmation of his suspicions about Sara's pregnancy and dismay at its apparent loss. He really felt for Grissom. Poor bastard.

The receptionist tapped away at the computer and frowned.

"I'm afraid I can't seem to find your wife's medical notes, I'll have to - "

Just then the Resus doors opened and Helena came out quickly.

"Sara's asking for you and she won't let them anywhere near her until you come, so hurry."

She spared Nick a quick glance before she hurried Grissom away.

"Wait, we're not finished!"

The receptionist called out after him. Nick stepped forward and pointed to her vacated seat.

"Yes ma'am, I think you are."

She sat down. Fast.

The ER doctor tolerated Grissom's presence only because he had a calming effect on the patient. The moment that she passed out he told Grissom to leave.

Grissom backed away until he was out of the way, but didn't leave the bay. Helena too had retreated and stood beside him.

Ten interminable minutes later the ER doctor stood back and listened to the monitors. He turned to his nurse.

"BP?"

"Ninety over sixty. It's stopped falling. I think we've got it."

The doctor stripped off his gloves and threw them in the contaminated waste bin.

"Good girl. Hang in there." He turned again to the nurse. " Prep. OR and tell them we've got a D&C coming."

Helena turned to Grissom, looking alarmed. She whispered urgently.

His head came up with a jerk.

"NO!"

The whole team turned to Grissom in surprise. The doctor stepped forward, more patient now that his patient had stopped bleeding out.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard, I said no. You haven't done a scan to see if the baby is dead or alive. You can't sanction a D&C until you've done a scan."

Grissom moved forward until he could hold on to the gurney that held Sara, almost as if daring them to take her from him.

"Look, Mr...?"

"Grissom."

"Look, Mr Grissom, with this kind of blood loss there is almost no chance - "

Grissom held up a finger from his free hand.

"'Almost' no chance, not 'no chance'. You are not taking Sara without doing the scan first. I won't allow it."

"And you are?"

Helena stepped forward.

"This is her husband."

Grissom glanced at her but did not betray her to her own colleagues. He did however stick to the truth himself.

"The baby's father."

The ER doctor - perhaps smelling a potential law suit - finally shrugged.

"Fine. Somebody get the OB/GYN on call and get a scan done."

^^^^^^

Grissom waited while Sara was transferred to an observation bay to wait for the OB/GYN on call to finish in theatre. Helena had gone to wait with Nick despite the fact that Grissom had suggested that they both go as there was nothing to be done but wait.

Grissom pulled up a chair and sat down so that he could see for himself when Sara regained consciousness. He wished that he had definite news for her, but he was grateful that Helena had at least given him some hope.

He dreaded to think what might of happened had she not been there to mention the lack of scan information.

Sara woke up again in hospital and her first conscious thought was for Gil and immediately on top of that, their baby.

"Gil? The baby?"

Grissom took her cold hands in his.

"We don't know for certain yet. You lost a lot of blood."

Sara's face crumpled and the tears ran down her cheeks in silence.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Grissom wiped her tears away with his hand but more quickly replaced them.

"It wasn't your fault, these things happen."

"No, no it was me, I thought that I wasn't ready, I was ungrateful so I'm being punished. It's my fault."

Grissom knew this was her grief talking. He in no way blamed her.

"Sara, don't be silly, it doesn't work like that. You did nothing wrong. If every woman that had a moment's doubt lost her baby, mankind would have died out years ago."

Sudden fury rose up in Sara. She didn't want logic, she wanted to shout and scream and wail out her sorrow and she wanted to know that he felt the loss too. She needed a target for her anger and Gil was handy. It didn't matter that a small voice in her head told her calmly that this wasn't his fault either and of course he was hurting too.

"Silly?! You think I'm being silly? How the hell do you know what I feel? You haven't been sick to your stomach every damn day; you haven't been terrified about how you're going to cope with a child when you've managed to kill every plant you've bought and never had a pet for the same reason!"

Grissom was flabbergasted. He'd had no idea that Sara had been this worried. She hadn't even hinted, he was sure of it.

Before he was able to marshal a response Sara looked at him, anger plain on her face with bitterness in her voice.

"That's great Gil. Retreat behind your silence again; cut me out of the loop. I wondered how long it would last!"

Grissom felt blindsided. He couldn't seem to get his brain to catch up with the situation. He opened his mouth but nothing wanted to come out. Eventually the words struggled out.

"Sara, that's unfair. I can't allay your fears if I don't know that you have them. You haven't mentioned - "

"I shouldn't have to tell you! You should just know!"

Sara couldn't seem to shut herself up. She could see the hurt on Gil's face and knew that she had wounded him terribly, but all her anxiety over the last weeks was spilling over, out of her control. Even she knew that she was being unfair.

"Now that's ridiculous, how can I - "

"Don't call me ridiculous! Get out! GET OUT!"

Sara pointed at the door, making her drip bag swing alarmingly.

Grissom felt as if she had punched him. He straightened up and tried to suck air into his lungs. His expression closed as he retreated behind the mask he thought he'd never need again.

Without another word he turned and walked away.

He left the unit almost blindly, finding himself out in the corridor. Suddenly his brain was filling with all the things that he wanted to say - that he should have said - in the bay with Sara. Perfect bloody timing.

Grissom stood in the corridor as life carried on around him. Six months ago in this situation he would have walked away and got back into his comfortable rut and chalked the whole thing up to 'got burned' and resolve never to stick his head above the parapet again.

He was not that person anymore.

He felt his anger start to burn now. He was furious at the fates for giving him heaven and taking it away. He was pissed that Sara wouldn't give him chance to explain and she had just assumed that he was giving up without a fight. He was royally pissed that he had just walked away instead of standing his ground. What he and Sara had was worth fighting for and they both knew it.

Right. Absolutely right.

Grissom turned around and walked purposefully back towards Sara's room.

The last time that he had moved like it, he'd had Eddie Willows in his fists.

Sara lay on her hospital bed with her free arm across her face, her nose in the crook of her elbow. She had screwed up bigtime. She had lost the most important thing in her life.

She didn't mean the baby.

She felt the tears start again. Gil might forgive her but she wouldn't forgive herself. She had shoved him back behind his wall and he wouldn't risk himself again.

She cried harder.

Grissom closed rapidly on Sara's bed bay. He could see her lying with her arm across her face.

Then he heard her.

Sobbing.

His anger drained away as if it had never been. His pace slowed until he stopped beside her bed.

"Oh, Sara."

Grissom's deep sorrow was evident in his quiet voice.

Sara stiffened, then took her arm away from her face.

She couldn't believe that he was here. She flung herself into his waiting arms and clung to him as he clung to her. She cried and so did he.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I just couldn't stop."

"Shush, it's okay, it's okay. I know. I'm sorry too. I should never have left you."

"I'm so scared."

Grissom pressed his head to Sara's, feeling the silky hair against his cheek.

"Then we'll be scared together."

^^^^^^

Twenty minutes later the OB/GYN turned up with a portable scanner.

"Sorry I've been delayed in theatre. How are you feeling Mrs. Grissom?"

Sara looked startled and her eyes flew to Gil.

He looked equally startled and shrugged a 'search me' look to Sara.

"Erm, okay, not too bad."

"Okay, I'll just set this up and we'll have a look."

Although maintaining a positive attitude, the OB/GYN had read the notes and wasn't optimistic.

Five minutes later they were in position. Grissom was on Sara's right, holding her hand in both of his, the OB/GYN on her left.

Sara's belly was uncovered and the doctor shook a bottle upside down to get the gel to the nozzle tip.

"Sorry, this will be a little cold."

It was, but Sara didn't say anything.

The screen was turned to face the doctor.

He placed the ultrasound wand in the gel and started moving it around in response to whatever he could see on the screen.

To Grissom and Sara the wait seemed endless, but in actuality was only a minute or so.

"Mr Grissom, you insisted on this scan before they went ahead with a D&C?"

Sara looked at Gil in surprise. She hadn't known that this was Gil's idea.

"Yes. I thought that it was important."

The OB/GYN smiled as he turned the screen to face them both.

"Good call."

As picture quality went it was poor, but as the first photo of baby Grissom it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

^^^^^^

Grissom walked quickly back to the waiting area where Nick and Helena were still hanging on for another update.

Both of them stood when they saw Grissom come out from the unit.

"How is she?"

Nick couldn't wait to know.

"They're both okay at the moment."

Helena, not one given to extravagant displays of emotion normally, gave Grissom a hug.

Nick almost laughed at the comical expression on Grissom's face.

"Put him down hon., you're embarrassing him. Congratulations man, this is so cool."

Once Grissom was released, Nick shook his hand.

Grissom showed them the photograph of the scan, his pride self-evident.

More than one set of eyes were suspiciously full.

^^^^^^

After Helena and Nick left, Grissom rang Catherine to pass on the news.

Catherine had not told any of her guests - Sara's colleagues and friends - about the pregnancy. If Sara lost the baby, then no one needed to know about it at all unless Sara felt like telling them. Catherine had just told them that Sara had felt unwell and that Grissom had taken her to a doctor. The party was still going strong at a little after ten in the evening.

Helena and Nick returned to the party buoyed up by the good news from Grissom, though naturally they kept it to themselves.

By the time that they arrived, Catherine had already spoken to Grissom and her expression was relieved and happy when she opened the front door to them.

"Come on in. We were hoping that you'd come back. Grab a bite, there's plenty left."

Nick grinned, partly with relief about the food. Now that the crisis had passed, at least for now, he was starved.

Helena was pleased to see that Claudia had emerged from her shell in her absence. As she was still talking to Jim Brass in a quietly animated fashion Helena assumed that he was at least partly responsible for the change. He certainly appeared to be enjoying himself too.

Catherine did her 'rounds' again as the hostess and was quietly pleased at the way things were going. Gil and Sara missing was the only down side to the day, and hopefully that was going to have a good prognosis.

She caught Warrick's eye and smiled automatically as she crossed the living room on her way to the kitchen to check on how the drinks were doing.

He casually followed her, hurrying to catch her up in the hall.

"Hey Cat, wait up."

Warrick hadn't counted on Catherine taking him literally, turning towards him and stopping dead in the hallway. It took him by surprise and he was unable to stop his forward momentum in time. He reflexively put his hands out to save himself.



His body smacked straight in to Catherine's and knocked her backward against the wall. Only his arms prevented Catherine's head from hitting the wall too.

Warrick was mortified. He could feel Catherine trembling in his arms. He had obviously shocked and hurt the last person in the world that he wanted to.

He pulled his head back to look down at her.

To be greeted by the unexpected sight of her laughter. She wasn't trembling; she was shaking with laughter.

Warrick looked bemused, his lovely eyes puzzled.

"You okay?"

Catherine looked up at Warrick, a smile still on her lips.

"Well, I've been hoping that you'd make a move on me. It just wasn't the move I was expecting."

She looked at Warrick, waiting for a response.

"You know, the 'goldfish' isn't one of your best looks."

"I...I...you've been waiting? For me?"

Catherine nodded. She waited for Warrick to put it all together. She didn't mind the fact that she was in the hall where anyone could see them.

Warrick's savoir-faire surfaced at last, but he wasn't 'cocky' with it.

"Cool."

"Infinitely cool."

"Can I call you?"

"You have my number."

"On speed dial."

Catherine raised her eyebrows in an expression that indicated that she was impressed as well as amused.

Warrick backed upright away from Catherine with a reluctance that pleased her.

"You okay?"

"I'm sure I'll live. You?"

"Doin' much better now, thank you."

Warrick's smile was a joy to see.

"Glad to hear it."

Catherine slipped out from under Warrick's arm and went in to the kitchen with a confident twitch to her hips.

Nothing put the swing in your step quite like anticipation.

^^^^^^

Sara had been moved to a room with one other bed in it on the gynae. ward. The other bed appeared not to currently be in use. The nursing staff had sent Grissom off with a list of requirements for a short hospital stay.

Grissom took a cab back to the townhouse, had a sandwich, packed a small bag for Sara and drove her Tahoe back to the hospital.

As he took the stairs up to Sara's floor he thought about the image of the baby that they had seen on the screen.

They had both been stunned to discover that the baby was still alive. It was a miracle, no other word for it.

It wasn't the only miracle in Grissom's mind. He had changed the way he thought about the relationship that he and Sara had. He felt more confident and secure in it now partly, perhaps, because the bond had been tested and they had survived.

They had talked for a long while. Sara had been more open about some of her fears and Grissom had admitted that he still thought that she would leave him one day, for 'someone better'.

Sara had looked at him as if he were mad.

"What better? Taller? Richer? Impossibly handsome? Fearfully intelligent? I mean how could this person exist? You are the 'someone better' that I want. You've got faults but so have I. I don't want Mr Perfect, I want you."

Grissom looked down at his hand holding hers, wanting to believe but still not entirely convinced.

"Gil, look at me."

He looked at her face, examining it like a fascinating piece of evidence.

Sara blushed under the intense scrutiny, but persevered.

"You tell me that I can have anyone I want but can't believe that I want you. Okay. I'll tell you what I want in my Mr Perfect. And you can go find him for me."

Grissom leaned forward placing his right elbow on Sara's bed so that he could rest his head on his right hand and look at her.

"I want a meeting of minds, someone at least as smart as me if not smarter, so that we have will always have something to talk about. I want other people to be envious of me, the women will wish that they had him, the men will wish that they were him. I want someone who makes me scream with delight in bed or in an aeroplane but understands without feeling rejected that occasionally I might have to say no. A man who makes me feel beautiful regardless of whether he is with me at a swanky 'do' or holding my hair off my face while I lose my breakfast for the fourth day in a row. I want a man who is kind and gentle but with strength of character. I want a man who is not afraid to hold me while I cry about something that he can do nothing about, and is not ashamed that he wants to cry too. I want a man who not only cooks like a dream but also washes up afterwards and looks divine in a towel. A man who is not threatened by the fact that I am strong, intelligent and sensual. A man who has respect for my opinions and me. A man who loves me, warts and all..."

Sara had looked at Grissom while going through her list and watched his expression as she paused.

"...and a sense of humour would be nice."

Grissom rubbed his thumb over her fingers while looking thoughtful. This was how she saw him? His light tone belied the soft sheen in his eyes.

"Mmm, a bit of a tall order, especially if you have warts."

"He won't care."

"No, I guess he won't. But until this paragon of virtue is found, you're stuck with me."

Grissom didn't look like this task would be too onerous.

"It could take years and years and years."

Sara looked innocently earnest. Or tried to.

"I don't have anything else planned for the next fifty or so."

Sara's lips twitched in to a smile before she could stop them.

"Cool."

As Grissom reached the firedoors at the top of the stairwell he realised that his comment about the next fifty years had sounded remarkably like a proposal of sorts.

It didn't scare him as much as he thought it would.

^^^^^^

Sara was kept in for two days to make sure that there were no more problems. She was signed off sick for a week with the advice that when she did return to work there was to be no heavy lifting.

The cat was well and truly out of the bag. The entire night shift knew that Sara was pregnant and the day shift congratulated themselves on being right all along. There was much speculation among the day shift about the identity of the father but no one was unwise enough to name names.

Grissom was perfectly aware that he was 'number one' on the suspect list. He neither confirmed nor denied anything. It was nobody else's business.

Eckle was furious that he couldn't cause trouble for Grissom, but he knew that Grissom only had to plead ignorance about the private life of his staff, which was no crime in his employers' eyes.

When Sara returned to work the awful tension was gone between her and Grissom. They treated each other as colleagues who were friends.

If those 'in the know' thought that occasionally their glances lingered too long or that their smiles were warmer than those between friends, it didn't really matter.

The dust settled.

^^^^^^

Two months later.



Grissom stuck his head in to Trace and glanced around, his face falling a little.

Greg looked up from the maintenance he was doing on one of the analysers.

"Lost someone?"

Grissom pursed his lips and fingered the small evidence bag in his left hand.

"...Because if you see Nick or Sara on your travels, this is for them. Last I saw, Sara was in the vehicle bay, Nick too."

Greg reached over and handed Grissom a printout from the mass spec.

"Thank you Greg."

As Grissom left, Greg smiled to himself. It didn't take an investigator to figure out who he had been looking for.

Grissom walked down to the vehicle laboratory and thought at first glance that the place was empty. He walked over to the car in position on the ramp and spotted a pair of legs in dark blue coveralls sticking out from under the car. An irritated voice came from under the car.

"Nicky? Gawd, how long can a trip to the can take? You know Griss'll have a hissy fit if he finds out I got under a car again after last week!"

Grissom's lips twitched despite his annoyance that Sara was indeed under a car again after she got stuck last week. Fortunately Warrick had been with her then and was able to raise the car further so that she could slide out. They had been laughing about it in the break room later and Grissom's rebuke had been mild enough, but he'd made it clear that no one was to work under a car solo.

He crouched down and pulled on the trolley. There was a squawk of dismay from under the car, but Sara's expression changed from irritation to chagrin when she saw Grissom.

"Oh, it's you."

"A 'hissy' fit?"

One eyebrow was raised and Grissom's head was tilted to one side as he did when he was curious. He reached out and touched Sara's cheek with a finger and showed her the grease smut with a smirk.

She grinned from her position lying on the trolley, wiping at the grease mark with a sleeve.

"Yeah, hissy fit as in 'don't do this because - fill in the blank'. You watch over me like a hawk, I can't do anything."

"Is this a problem for you?"

Grissom asked the question in all seriousness.

Sara mock glared at him.

"Actually no, it's not. I kinda like it, but if you tell anyone that I'm gonna have to kill you."

Grissom laughed and as the sound echoed around the room he thought how much more often he did it now. He looked at Sara again, and she looked at the paper still in his hand.

"I've brought your mass spec. report from Greg for you..."

"Stick it on the bench willya? I'm kinda stuck here."

"...and I've got some evidence here that I want you to help me with."

Sara looked at the sealed bag in Grissom's other hand.

"What's it about?"

Grissom looked at the evidence bag thoughtfully.

"It's an unusual case. Involves your favourite ingredients; a man, a woman, passion and mystery."

Sara was intrigued and already trying to figure out which case he was on about.

"What's the mystery?"

"I don't know how it ends."

"The man?"

"Older guy, set in his ways, has his life all mapped out. Life holds no surprises."

"The woman?"

"Younger. Spirited. Beautiful and passionate."

"Cool, I like her already. She's obviously trouble."

"True. They meet and there are fireworks."

Grissom smiled as he shifted to get comfortable in his crouching position. One knee rested on the ground.

"I like fireworks. Fireworks are good."

Sara pushed herself into a sitting position and placed one hand on her six-month bump. She smiled at Grissom's expression as he idly swung the evidence bag between two fingers.

"Things are good, very good in fact. Then one day, the man realises that it's not enough."

"Oh dear. Whyever not? What more does he want?"

"I'm coming to that. This is the bit where I need your help. I need to know what she would be thinking, you know, the female point of view."

Sara was openly grinning now and Grissom was having a hard time keeping his face straight.

"You know me on a case, anything I can do to help."

"He gives her this evidence..."

Grissom gave Sara the bag, which she tore across the top and opened. She tipped the contents into her hand. Her mouth fell open and her eyes flew to his.

"...and he says to her, ' I love you and are you free for the rest of your life?'. What do you think she says? I'd be grateful for your opinion."

Sara was stunned. She looked at the sapphire and diamond engagement ring in the palm of her hand and then at Gil.

His proposal was as unique as he was. Only he could get down on bended knee to propose to her while she was wearing ratty blue coveralls and covered in grease smuts.

It was the most romantic gesture that he had ever made. Her eyes filled and she blamed her hormones. He knew that she would have freaked if he'd done this in a restaurant.

He was also telling her that work was important to him, but not more important than she was.

Sara finally found her voice, albeit a little shaky.

"Well, I think that she would be stunned at first. Y'know, it might have been right out of the blue."

Grissom nodded in agreement, reaching out to pick up the ring and place it on the ring finger of Sara's left hand. It fit perfectly and they both smiled.

"Then what?"

"Then - can you help me up please?"

Grissom helped Sara get to her feet and pulled her gently towards him.

"Thanks - then I think she would say, 'I think I have finally found my place in this world, and it's at your side.' Naturally it's a given that she loves him to distraction and would say yes in a heartbeat."

Grissom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Sara's lips.

Sara looked at him with a cheeky grin.

"Of course, that's only my opinion, I could be wrong."

Grissom shook his head. He showed Sara her left hand.

"The evidence never lies."

^^^^^^

Six weeks later.

Everyone was assembled in the break room to get their assignments for the night. Grissom was just handing Greg and Nick their one when a delivery driver carrying a parcel came to the door.

"Been sent up here with a package for 'Grissom', anyone know where I can find 'em?"

Sara's eyes gleamed with mischief and Grissom knew what was coming.

She turned, with difficulty, to the deliveryman.

"Mr or Mrs?"

The room erupted.

^^^^^^

"How about Amy? It means 'beloved'."

Grissom flicked through the book of names, stopping here and there.

Sara looked up from their sleeping daughter's face and smiled tiredly.

"She's less than an hour old, there's no hurry."

Grissom looked up at Sara over his glasses. He put down the book and moved to stand beside her bed and the baby's crib. Sara leaned against him, sliding an arm around his waist. He put one around her shoulders. They both looked at the baby with that slightly stunned expression new parents have.

Grissom turned to Sara and softly kissed her, thrilled as always when she kissed him back. He looked at his family.

There was only one word for it.

Awesome.

The End.