A/N: After two years, I've finally updated this story…I'm so sorry for the long wait. But anyway, I still hope you'd read this one. And after doing so, please leave a comment or two, all right? Thank you!

Loving a Ghost

By: Killua K.

Chapter 16: Saying "I Love You"

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What about my mission, St. Pete? I asked the old saint in heaven. What's with him? Becoming so serious all of a sudden…Geez.

'Well, I figured that it would be of your best interest if we go over your responsibilities as Shinomori's guardian. I also want to warn you that –'

Wa-wait…Warn me? That was a surprise. Warn me of what? What is this old man trying to tell me?

'OH! About that…uuhh…forget it. You don't need to know anything about that. Hahaha!' And he let out a rather fake chuckle that sparked an interest in my head. Just now, I felt that he was hiding something from me, as if he did not want to let me know about a very significant thing…

And why should I forget about that last part of your sentence? What do you mean by you should warn me about something? I started spilling out questions that he might not even bother to answer. Well, I guess it could not be helped. St. Peter is the kind of saint who would only tell you about the good important things. He has the tendency to leave out the interesting details in a story. But perhaps, that is just one of his privileges as a holy spirit living in heaven. After all, knowing the secrets of others and possessing knowledge way beyond an ordinary human brain are some of the luxuries he is able to enjoy as God's "employee" up above.

'Ahh Mi-chan…'

Damn, he called me by that name! That only meant one thing – he is really hiding something from me. He always does that whenever he tries to change the topic of our conversation.

'I'll see you in heaven in three hours, all right? I know you're really doing a good job with Shinomori-kun so might as well keep it up, ok? AHH!' St. Peter exclaimed. I could hear the fake astonishment in his voice...err…thoughts. 'I have to go now, my dear! I forgot that I have an appointment with Yahiko-kun!'

Eh?

The little boy's face suddenly popped inside my head as the old saint muttered his name. Yahiko's smiling countenance lingered in my mind for a few moments then unexpectedly, a familiar feeling resurfaced in my chest.

'twas the feeling of guilt.

Why…?

'Ohhhh…I forgot that you're good friends! Well, you see, apparently, he's almost done with his mission!'

Huh?

Yahiko's mission? Wait…What was it about again? It felt as if years have passed since the last time we met. I could not even remember our last conversation.

Or perhaps…

Perhaps, I was the one who tried not to remember.

Yes, I did not want to remember anything we talked about on that day…

The day when I summoned up all my courage to turn my back away from the first and only man I have ever loved in my life.

'It seems that his client has already found a new love in his life. Now isn't that sweet? Love is really such a mysterious thing. Don't you think, Mi-chan?'

I have often asked myself why souls are not permitted to cry or even shed a tear whenever they feel sadness or emptiness. Though St. Peter told me once that I was the only soul to ever have a strong attachment to the past, I still never understood why God must forbid dead humans from feeling pain.

What is so wrong in being sad anyway? What is so wrong in being unhappy whenever you see your loved ones on earth suffering in torment and extreme solitude? Isn't it natural for a former living creature to feel those emotions which she has already experienced in her lifetime? Just what is wrong in shedding a tear or two when the most important person in your life has finally moved on and has forgotten his feelings for you?

That's why, no matter how hard I tried to cry in Aoshi's room that time…

No matter how hard I tried to produce a tear from my eye…

Nothing would come out and roll down on my cheek.

After hearing the painful reality from St. Peter's own words, I felt as if I was ready to face another death.

This time, if only I would be given a chance, I would definitely choose to die a second time and eternally perish from the face of the earth.

Learning that Soujiro Seta has finally stopped loving me is enough to kill my very own existence in this world.

Y-yeahhh…

It was the only word I could reply to St. Peter's joyous announcement. I wanted to be happy for Yahiko too since finishing his mission meant that he could finally live in heaven forever. But somehow deep inside, a part of me did not want him to succeed in his job. The selfish, possessive part of me desired for Yahiko's failure and Soujiro's unwavering devotion for our love. I knew it was inappropriate. I very well knew that it was utterly inconceivable for a soul like me to think in that manner. But still, I did not know that such dark ugly emotions were still buried and locked up within my chest.

'Jaa, I'll see you in the cafeteria in three hours, Mi-chan! Mata ne!' St. Peter happily spoke as his presence finally disappeared. I wondered if he was able to see right through the expression on my face.

"Soujiro-kun…" I uttered to myself as I let out a heavy sigh. I felt so weak and defeated at that very instant. Even though my lips involuntarily curved into a smile, the thoughts inside my head were shouting crazily, fighting over the truth behind the concoction of feelings that formed in my heart.

Until I heard his deep voice pierce through the barrier I put up around me…

"G-good…m-mo-morning…"

I snapped out of my reverie and quickly turned towards the source of that greeting.

Aoshi Shinomori…

"Good morning, Misao-chan," he uttered confidently, a smile forming on his lips. His eyes shone brightly from where I stood and his face emitted an indescribable radiance that seemingly soothed my tumultuous feelings.

"He could've been with me...instead he decided to make everyone happy," I confessed. "He sacrificed his own happiness for the happiness of the many. Besides, why would he choose to be with a soul who doesn't love him anymore..?"

Aaa…That is right…I remember now what I told Yahiko on that day we last saw each other, I thought to myself as a familiar scene in a hospital flashed in my mind.

"How are you today?" Aoshi continued as he slowly approached me. It was strange that of all the important events that happened on that day, it was the scene at the hospital that resurfaced from my sea of memories and made me feel this familiar emotion in my heart.

I gazed into Aoshi's eyes and managed to see the budding kindness in his soul. He had this calm gentleness that I never once imagined that he could possess. Frankly, I did not think he would learn so fast from all of the things that I have taught him for the past year. I was really glad and happy that somehow, I was beginning to change his personality for the better.

"Good job, Shinomori-san," I said happily. "You passed."

Then, the young man standing in front of me literally jumped in happiness as he heard those words from my mouth.

To think that a person could actually take a month in learning how to say "Good morning" is rather unbelievable. You're really something, Aoshi-san…

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"St. Pete!" I cried when I saw the old saint. He excitedly waved his hand at me and then put this pet rooster on the cottony floor.

"Ahoy, Misao-chan! Long time no see! How have you been?" he greeted. We hugged each other tightly then sat on a bench near the humongous fountain located at the center of the plaza. He snapped his fingers and instantly a tray of food appeared in front of me. "That's my welcome gift to you!"

"St. Pete..." I felt so delighted when I saw different kinds of food on my tray. There was lobster, pasta, baked chicken (I wonder how the angels prepare these gourmet foods), smoked salmon, foie gras, oh and filet mignon! My stomach grumbled as I satisfied my eyesight with these scrumptious savory dishes. "Is this really okay? I mean, shouldn't I fall in line first?"

"Well, do you want to? I could always take that back- "

"AHH! Of course not!" I exclaimed. I started chomping on the lobster once St. Peter said that. "W-well…" I swallowed a chunk of lobster meat then put a spoonful of pasta in my mouth. "What if the other souls and angels get jealous because you're giving me this special treatment?"

The old saint chuckled as he patted me on the head. "Seems like you're forgetting that jealousy along with other evils don't exist in heaven, my child...These souls are even happy for you because you're being awarded for your good effort."

I simply nodded my head as I chewed the food inside my mouth.

"Well, while you're eating," he started. "Let's get down to business then."

The tone of his voice became a little dark and serious. I tried to ignore it and continued on with my meal.

"You have only three months left to finish your mission."

I almost choked when St. Peter said that. I stopped eating, turned my head to him and tried to confirm the truth by looking at his reaction.

"When your three months is up, only two things can happen. One is you successfully change Aoshi's bad behavior, after which you can permanently stay in heaven and enjoy all these luxuries around you. We will give you a free pass to the human world so you can check on your loved ones every now and then. No strings attached." He explained to me.

"But..." I said. "What is the other thing that could happen?"

He inhaled deeply then let out a heavy sigh. "The other thing is you fail to change Aoshi and his evil ways. When this happens, Misao..." St. Peter hesitated for a while. I looked straight into his eyes, determined to hear the consequences I may face.

"When you fail your mission, you can still stay in heaven..."

"You gotta be kidding me!" I shouted when I heard the good news. I ate more spoonfuls of pasta then quickly finished the baked chicken on my plate. "That's awesome, St. Peter! Why do you even look so worried? And all along I thought I would go to hell if ever I fail to change Aoshi-san..."

"Of course you're not going to hell! Besides, if you really belonged there in the first place, you wouldn't have had the chance to set foot here!" he said. "But that's not the point..."

"What do you mean?" Suddenly my heart started to race inside my chest.

"You can still stay in heaven if you fail...but I'm afraid we have to erase all memories of your previous life, including memories of carrying out your mission to transform Aoshi Shinomori."

I was silent for a while before I was able to give him any reaction. I was confused at what he just revealed to me. What does he mean he has to erase my memories if I fail my mission? Why should that be the price to pay for not successfully finishing my work? And if that really happens, then what would become of me?

"I- I don't understand, St. Peter..." I told him. He sighed.

"Perhaps you're thinking it doesn't make any sense to erase one's memories. But it has always been the law here in heaven. If you succeed in your assigned task, you gain the privilege of retaining your ties with your loved ones on earth. But if you fail, you lose that privilege, and we erase all your memories and connections to the human world in order to prepare you for a greater life. It's a means to purify one's soul, Misao-chan."

I looked down at the tray of food on my lap, and noticed that I was almost done. I picked a piece of smoked salmon and shoved it in my mouth.

"Everyone who lives and breathes on earth has a specific task that must be completed in order to preserve the natural order of things. However, when a person dies without ever finishing that mission, that order is compromised, and things are gradually thrown out of place. That's why souls like you are given a second chance to accomplish their tasks once and for all – to help protect the balance between good and evil."

"Balance between good and evil? I thought God wants to completely eliminate evil?"

"Aha! That's a common misconception among humans," St. Peter said. He stood up from the bench, snapped his fingers, and showed me a floating planet Earth on his hands. It was like a hologram of some sort, only, it was the real thing. "See, God's ultimate gift to humans is free will. And because humans are not perfect like God, they make mistakes, they hurt others, and they are very much capable of inflicting any kind of harm, intentionally or unintentionally, to anyone they want. That is how Evil is born into this world." The planet Earth on his hands started to rotate, first slowly, then accelerating to a very fast speed. Soon after, the planet disappeared and another image popped in his hands.

It was Aoshi Shinomori.

"And so that's why, an individual is born with a mission to help preserve this balance. That mission is not a prerequisite or a passport to enter heaven, but it is rather a privilege to easily access exclusive luxuries in this place, and to retain his mortal ties with his loved ones on earth. If he fails to finish the task, he will not be kicked out from heaven. It is perfectly acceptable not to be able to accomplish the mission. But of course, he becomes unable to retain his old memories as a consequence. Then, he is eventually transformed into an ordinary carefree soul in heaven. Do you understand now, Misao-chan?"

Aoshi's face grew larger in his hands. I continued to stare at him and his hazy green eyes. I know he has changed a lot since we first met, but I feel like there's still so much that has to be done. The other day, he just learned how to properly greet people "Good Morning" and "Good Afternoon," and use other polite words. It took him a month to be able to say these things, so how am I going to succeed in completely changing him if I'm given only three more months to finish the job?

"So..." I spoke up. "If I fail my mission, I will lose memories of my previous life?"

St. Peter nodded his head sadly.

"And memories of carrying out that mission..." he added.

"Then I won't be able to remember Aoshi.. how about our friendship – "

"It will be gone...as if it never existed."

My heart was still pounding heavily inside my chest. I did not know why I was feeling hurt at the thought of losing ties with my client, Shinomori Aoshi.

Suddenly, the image in St. Peter's hands vanished in thin air. I was startled for a moment, then realized that he had to leave and check on other souls like me. He snapped his fingers once more, and then his rooster appeared in his arms. He patted its crown and hugged the bird tightly as if it were the most precious thing in heaven.

"Well, good luck then, Mi-chan!" he said.

"Ahh!" I remembered something.

"What is it, my child?" he asked.

"How should I know that I've managed to change Aoshi completely?" I said.

St. Peter paused for a while then rubbed his white fluffy beard by his fingers. "Good question.. Well, let's see...you have to make him earnestly say three magical words to any person of his choice."

"What are those words, St. Pete?"

The old man laughed loudly as he patted his rooster and cheerfully looked at me. "Ohhh, Mi-chan...it should be really easy for him...

The magical words are 'I love you.'"

He lifted his right hand and waved goodbye at me. Then once he turned his back, his form evaporated before my sight.

I was left wondering how saying those three words can prove Aoshi's behavioral transformation. After all, I was confident that he has already said those words to Megumi several times.

But what I did not realize right away is that it is not saying 'I Love You' that really matters in this mission.

What matters most is the person to whom Aoshi Shinomori should confess these words.

The person besides his fiancée, Megumi Takani...

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TBC

A/N: After another two years, I've finally updated this story! I really apologize for not updating quickly. It's just that I've become so busy with school and life that I unwillingly neglected my fanfics. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. I'm quite happy how it's moving along. What do you think? Please, oh please give me a review, okay! Thaaankss! XD And check out my other fanfics!