Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. If I did, I would have
made this part of a movie about them a long time ago instead of posting it
as fanfiction.
The Sword That Keeps Breaking: Chapter One
*In Rivendell*
Aragorn shuffled into the room, eyes avoiding the Eldar in front of him. His guardian, Elrond, was elven and sat before him.
"Um, Mr. Elrond..............."
"What?" Elrond replied, sensing Aragorn's nervousness (for one, the Man had never called him Mister in his life before)
Aragorn pulled out a long sword, the blade Narsil, reforged as Anduril, Flame of the West. Elrond had reforged the Sword of Kings himself, and given it to Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir to the throne of Gondor. Elrond looked at the sword, however, and blanched. The top foot of the blade was dangling by a scrap of metal from the rest of the sword.
"You broke it AGAIN!!!!" screamed the elf, sounding more like an orc captain than one of the Immortal Folk.
"Well, you see..............." began Aragorn.
"I SEE!!" screamed the elf, leaping to his feet. "I SEE IT!!!"
"No, I mean..............."
"I spend my valuable, important, priceless, treasured, unlimited, precious time reforging that sword for you...............the sword that you're great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-grandfather broke, and you go and break it again!!!"
"Isildur didn't break it, Sauron did!"
"Oh, and I suppose he broke it this time too. Last time I heard he was a bit preoccupied looking for the ring that you're great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-grandfather wouldn't destroy when I told him to. Your family is all the same!"
"Um, Mr. Elrond?"
"What now?!"
"You missed a great in there. He wasn't my."
"SILENCE, YOU IMMATURE MORTAL" Elrond screamed, again sounding like a commander in Sauron's evil armies.
"Immature!" Aragorn shouted back, even though they were less than 2 feet apart. "Excuse me, but I am 87 years old!!"
"Well, I AM OVER 2000 YEARS, SO YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE BABY TO ME!!"
"YEAH, WELL GOO-GOO, GA-GA!"
"I'LL GOO-GOO YOU, MR. KING OF GONDOR. JUST HOW DID YOU BREAK THAT SWORD, ANYWAY??"
"Um."
"You said um and it broke?" Elrond asked sarcastically.
"Dropped it." said Aragorn, deflating rapidly and looking at his feet.
"Dropped it, huh? You dropped a sword that I reforged.we're talking about my exceptional amazing incredible unbelievable sword-reforging skill here.and it just BROKE?"
"Off a cliff" Aragorn added.
"AH! Now we come to the root of the matter! Well OK, Mr. Sword- Dropper-Off-Cliffer, here's the deal. I will reforge the sword for you."
"You would! Thank you so much, how can I ever."
"But I will be forced to engrave little pink flowers all over it."
"You wouldn't!" exclaimed Aragorn, face white.
"Oh. Yes. I. Would." Elrond replied, shaking the broken sword. "AND little pink hearts."
"No. No! You can't!" Aragorn said, eyes wide in fear.
"Now excuse me," Elrond said, waving the Man aside. I have to spend some important, priceless, treasured, unlimited, precious time exercising my exceptional amazing incredible unbelievable sword-reforging skill. He exited the room, while Aragorn sat in humiliation, mouthing soundlessly and occasionally whimpering.
The Sword That Keeps Breaking: Chapter One
*In Rivendell*
Aragorn shuffled into the room, eyes avoiding the Eldar in front of him. His guardian, Elrond, was elven and sat before him.
"Um, Mr. Elrond..............."
"What?" Elrond replied, sensing Aragorn's nervousness (for one, the Man had never called him Mister in his life before)
Aragorn pulled out a long sword, the blade Narsil, reforged as Anduril, Flame of the West. Elrond had reforged the Sword of Kings himself, and given it to Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir to the throne of Gondor. Elrond looked at the sword, however, and blanched. The top foot of the blade was dangling by a scrap of metal from the rest of the sword.
"You broke it AGAIN!!!!" screamed the elf, sounding more like an orc captain than one of the Immortal Folk.
"Well, you see..............." began Aragorn.
"I SEE!!" screamed the elf, leaping to his feet. "I SEE IT!!!"
"No, I mean..............."
"I spend my valuable, important, priceless, treasured, unlimited, precious time reforging that sword for you...............the sword that you're great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-grandfather broke, and you go and break it again!!!"
"Isildur didn't break it, Sauron did!"
"Oh, and I suppose he broke it this time too. Last time I heard he was a bit preoccupied looking for the ring that you're great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-grandfather wouldn't destroy when I told him to. Your family is all the same!"
"Um, Mr. Elrond?"
"What now?!"
"You missed a great in there. He wasn't my."
"SILENCE, YOU IMMATURE MORTAL" Elrond screamed, again sounding like a commander in Sauron's evil armies.
"Immature!" Aragorn shouted back, even though they were less than 2 feet apart. "Excuse me, but I am 87 years old!!"
"Well, I AM OVER 2000 YEARS, SO YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE BABY TO ME!!"
"YEAH, WELL GOO-GOO, GA-GA!"
"I'LL GOO-GOO YOU, MR. KING OF GONDOR. JUST HOW DID YOU BREAK THAT SWORD, ANYWAY??"
"Um."
"You said um and it broke?" Elrond asked sarcastically.
"Dropped it." said Aragorn, deflating rapidly and looking at his feet.
"Dropped it, huh? You dropped a sword that I reforged.we're talking about my exceptional amazing incredible unbelievable sword-reforging skill here.and it just BROKE?"
"Off a cliff" Aragorn added.
"AH! Now we come to the root of the matter! Well OK, Mr. Sword- Dropper-Off-Cliffer, here's the deal. I will reforge the sword for you."
"You would! Thank you so much, how can I ever."
"But I will be forced to engrave little pink flowers all over it."
"You wouldn't!" exclaimed Aragorn, face white.
"Oh. Yes. I. Would." Elrond replied, shaking the broken sword. "AND little pink hearts."
"No. No! You can't!" Aragorn said, eyes wide in fear.
"Now excuse me," Elrond said, waving the Man aside. I have to spend some important, priceless, treasured, unlimited, precious time exercising my exceptional amazing incredible unbelievable sword-reforging skill. He exited the room, while Aragorn sat in humiliation, mouthing soundlessly and occasionally whimpering.