Bloody Mary: Hi, I and my friend were having a nice little talk on the net and decided to write a citrus.

dna: Yeah… That's me. We chipped in a paragraph each.

Bloody Mary and dna: We hope you'll have as much fun as we did.

Disclaimer: Neither dna, nor Bloody Mary owns Yu-Gi-Oh.

Dirty Thoughts

"Seto, why are you grinning like that?" Mokuba Kaiba asked his brother, while staring at his somewhat perverted smile.

"Err... Nevermind Mokuba!"

"Er, Seto, are you sure?"

"Just get out, little brat"

"Waaaaah!!! You're not my Big Brother! You're an imposter!" Seto winced, while two girls, who were observing the exchange with amusement, started giggling.

"Look at Seto!" Whispered Orange.

"Can't a CEO have dirty thoughts in peace?" The tall CEO sweat dropped.

"I'm going to phone Yugi!" Yelled Mokuba, his eyes opened widely.

When Yugi came over and Seto's dirty thoughts have been... even dirtier (if possible) and more violent... 

Staring down, Kaiba noticed a bulge and started banging his head against the table, because there were Mokuba, Orange, Yugi and Lemon staring at him. He stopped banging though still in shame and embarrassment and then noticed two fan girls giggling like mad.

He glared at them, saying "Will you stop or... or... or I'll send your souls to the virtual reality and make some monster eat you alive!"

The two giggling girls stopped dead and stared at each other, then continued laughing at Seto.

"Kaiba, what's that sticking out of your pants...?" Orange said, staring at Seto's pants.

"Oh... is it what I think it is?" Lemon gasped.

"Who is it for?" They both asked at once.

"Not any of you!" Seto barked.

"Oh my! Does it mean Yugi then?" Lemon tried to ask innocently, but came out rather perverted.

"Seto and Yugi sitting on tree!" chanted Orange. "F-U-C---" Orange stopped when she noticed Yugi. "Oops..."

Yugi cocked his head innocently and asked "What are you guys on about? Can anyone tell me what's happening?"

Mokuba, who shrugged, said "I have homework to do, I better get going."

Kaiba felt very grateful towards his younger brother - at least he was going to behave. Lemon felt torn should she tell Yugi what it all was about or better not? He might loose his innocence, if she did.

And then light dawned on her: "I'm sure Yami would happily explain AND show you everything Yugi" She said with a grin.

"Cool, Yami will show me what it is?" Yugi said, with hopes in his eyes.

"Naw, I'm pretty sure Kaiba is desperate to show you, right here and now." Orange winked at Seto, half-mocking him.  

"I am not!" roared the CEO, while crossing his arms over his chest and looking for an escape route.

"Come on Kaiba, show me what they were talking about! I won't give up until you show me!" Begged the poor yet desperate boy.

"Come on Kaiba, you know you want to" Lemon said.

"Leave me alone! I don't!" The brown-haired teen panicked.

"Please, Seto!" Yugi begged making the cutest puppy-dog eyes he could.

Seto gulped nervously. That was a baaad sign...

"Please!" Yugi continued to make puppy-dog eyes.

Seto meanwhile felt that he absolutely HAD to get out or 'something' might happen. He ducked under the table and started crawling towards the exit. But just when he was almost out a leg blocked his way. Lemon stood there with Orange beside her, both with arms of their hips.

"You're not going anywhere, pretty boy. Give the boy what he wants, and then you could go wherever you wish." Lemon said.

Seto decided that since the getting away didn't work, he should try the rough approach. "You're either letting me out or I'll put you in some virtual reality, like I promised!"

The two girls didn't flinch and only Yugi said pleadingly. "Seto, will you show me?"

Damn, Seto's mind rang. He's not going to give up... He looked down at his erection and shook his head. "Yugi, if I showed you, you promise you won't regret?"

"Is this going to hurt?" Yugi sounded slightly alarmed, but before Seto could say word Orange interrupted: "If Seto will be gentle, it won't."

Lemon took out a camera. "We could tape it and sell it on the Internet." he said with a greedy smile. "I bet we'd end up as rich woman!"

Seto was near to panic.

"Awe, give the poor guy a break, Lemon... This is confidential. Wait, we still videotape them, but only for our friend's viewing pleasure... is that okay with you Lemon? How about you, Kaiba?" Orange asked.

Lemon nodded and started taping.

Kaiba looked sickly pale. "I... I want my mommy!" He faintly yelled and hid under the table.

Yugi blinked innocently. "What does Kaiba's mother have to do with it all?"

Orange tried to look under a table, but she decided it was not worth getting hit with a shoe.

"How do we get him out?" wondered Lemon.

"Kaiba... come out... I still need you to show me what we're doing!" A frantic Yugi waved under the table. Seto thought it was one of the girls, so he twisted Yugi's arm and Yugi yelped in pain, "Ouch, Kaiba, I thought you were going to be gentle on me!"

"Maybe we should call Joey and Tristan?" wondered Lemon. "They could pull him out."

Seto lunged out from under the table, red as a beet root. "You aren't doing that!" He screamed at the top of his voice.

The two girls were, however, concentrated on staring at his crotch to notice.

And since Yugi had been hurt, Yami took over. Yugi told Yami that he'll deal with it on his own, so he transformed into Yugi again.

The teary Yugi cried some more while the CEO looked at him apologetically. He absently raised his hand and wiped a tear off Yugi's face and said, "Shh... I will go gentle on you... I promise."

The happy and cute Yugi came back and hugged Seto, causing the older boy's bulge to rub gently on Yugi's stomach. Seto made a very stupid face because Orange and Lemon high-fived each other at that instant.

"Would you two get out" he growled. "It's private!" The two only grinned wider.

"Well... on two conditions... one: if you'd let us tape you. Two: if you would pay us a sum of money... If you agree, we'll be out this door, heck, out your house..." Orange bargained

"Fine, fine." Mumbled the CEO. "Know that I have a heart too."

Lemon grinned at that. "And a penis too! I bet you and Yugi will have a lot of fun! "

Yugi looked more confused... "Lemon and Orange, will you please go now? I want to know what "thing" you guys are talking about. Oh, and by the way, what a "penis"?"

Lemon started laughing as if she went crazy.

"Don't worry Yugi, Seto will explain everything." Orange said pushing out the other girl.   

"Gosh! How can you be his age and not know what a penis is?" Lemon managed to say between giggles.

"Have fun, you two!" The two girls said, Lemon still sniggering, as they closed the door.

Kaiba was too eager to release his tension that he had forgotten to lock the door. From outside, you could hear Yugi asking Kaiba about what's going to happen.

"Yugi, just relax. Feel this," Kaiba said and Yugi moaned, "How does it feel?" Yugi moaned some more and answered: "Good... it feels really good... what are you doing, Kaiba?"

Kaiba hushed the smaller boy: "Don't ask stupid questions, because they only deserve stupid answers." 

Yugi moaned again. "Shouldn't I do something?" He asked, sounding a bit breathless.

Then Seto's grunt could be heard.

***

"I knew they'll have fun." Lemon whispered.

Orange sniggered a little then answered, "Sure they are, judging by Yugi's moans..."

"No kidding…" Lemon replied.

The two attached their ears to the door again and concentrated on listening.

***

"Just stay there. I'll tell you what to do when it's your turn to do something." Kaiba said.

Yugi suddenly gasped, "Kaiba, you... you can't touch 'there'... it's... private!"

A thud could be heard.

"Umm... Seto you shouldn't bang your head against the wall..." Yugi's concern-filled voice followed.

"Look. You wanted to know, right? And I know what I'm doing." Seto sounded annoyed. "Just relax..." He added in voice that was almost… soothing.

"Ok Kaiba, I won't do that anymore, I'm sorry. You can touch wherever you want... I won't blame you because this was my idea." Yugi surrendered.

"Good.' Kaiba's voice had a hint of gladness in it.

He unzipped his pants and threw it across the room. The bed squeaked as Kaiba's weight landed on it. Yugi picked the pants up and put it on a chair.

Seto sighed. "Come here." The tall teen said and Yugi obeyed. "Your grandpa never told you about the 'bees and birds', did he?" Now the CEO sounded faintly ironic. "Never mind that now. Ask Yami about that."

There was some fainter squeaking as Yugi sat on the bed as well.

"Uhh... Kaiba? It's bulging."

***

Lemon clamed her hands over her mouth. Orange did the same... "Did you hear that? I never thought I would hear that from such an innocent boy! Wonder what Kaiba will do about it..." Orange smirked, and the two girls tried to suppress their laughter.

***

"Kai-Kaiba, it's getting harder and it's sitting up by itself. I don't know what to do... I want to... touch it but will it hurt? Actually, it feels quite good"

Kaiba said, "Hands off, that's my job."

***

It was two much for the two girls, who started rolling on the floor roaring with laughter. They couldn't hear Kaiba's annoyed sigh and steps. But they could hear his angry voice when opened the door and started yelling.

"Would you two shut up? You could be quiet for a while, you know!"

Orange and Lemon gave him sheepish looks and nodded, as he closed the door.

Kaiba opened the door again and said, "I thought you said you'll be out my house. Out now, or I'm not paying you."

The girls got on their feet, face red from laughing and left the house.

Unknown to the older boy, the two hid behind the bushes outside Kaiba's house, still listening to them.

***

"Anymore interruption and I'll lose my erection." The CEO said, whilst looking down at the innocently gorgeous boy.

"Election?" Yugi asked innocently.

"Erection..." Mumbled Kaiba. "Just don't talk and let me handle everything."

Soon after another of Yugi's groans could be heard, followed by Kaiba's grunt. Then there were some more moans and groans.

***

"I think they're getting to the 'fun' part." Smirked Lemon.

Orange nudged Lemon on her ribs and asked "Isn't it kawaii? They're finally getting it on." They both concentrated on the noise the boys were making.

"You think... they're doing *it* now?" Lemon asked and Orange blushed crimson,

"Hentai!"

Lemon defended herself by saying, "Hey, this was part of you idea as well, and also, you're as bad as me..."

And then there could be no more doubts.

Seeetooo!" Yugi yelled at the top of his lungs.

Lemon grinned. "Operation successesful." She giggled. "We'll wait a bit and check how they'll look after."

***

"Seto, I'm so sorry I wetted your bed..."

"Hush, angel... I'll clean it up later. And you didn't wet the bed..."

"Awe, Seto! I really enjoyed it; we should do it again someday."

"This will be our secret, won't it, Yugi?"

"Hai..."

Just then, Seto moaned saying, "Yu-gi... how did you learn how do that... feels...good"

"When you were doing it to me... I kinda learnt it off you. Glad you like it"

***

 "Nobody knows?" Lemon whispered to Orange.

"I think, we'll leave them alone for now and continue listening." Orange whispered back, as Seto moaned again.

"You're fast learner." He said.

"Yami says that too... But he learns even faster." Yugi answered.

Lemon sniggered a bit, as Seto said that it wasn't exactly what he meant.

***

From a distant, Yugi and Kaiba could hear Joey's yells, looking for Yugi. The two gasped and quickly pulled a blanket over themselves and Joey burst in with a "Grandpa told me you were here, Yu---HOLEY SHMOLY! What are yer guys doin'?" and Mokuba was behind Joey.

"Er... Joey?" Yugi said calmly.

"Kaiba, Yuge, what are you doing??"

Suddenly two girls jumped in through the window, looking very much like two Valkyries.

"It's our fault!" Yelled one.

"Yeah! We made them do it!" The second joined.

"We wouldn't leave Kaiba until they did it!" Added the first.

"And I asked.' Yugi sheepishly said.

Joey gave them all a baffled look. Then he grinned like a maniac. "Gosh! Two girls made Yuge rape Kaiba!" He yelled loudly.

 The two girls sweat dropped, looking at Joey as if he was a moron. Wait, he WAS a moron.

"No you idiot, it wasn't Yugi who had raped Kaiba... actually, did I say rape?" The first girl said.

"Yea... you did say rape..." The second girl reassured the first, both starting to grin widely.

"Shut up, Mutt, I wasn't raped!"

Joey's eyes widened, "Kaiba, how dare you rape Yuge? I'm going to kill you!"

Kaiba and the two girls stared at Joey. Lemon said, "I told you, it wasn't rape!"

Orange joined in, "Yeah, how many times do we have to say it for you to get it through your thick skull?"

"Could you stop calling Joey names? He meant well." Yugi chimed up.

"I know! I can make Mai have nice hot steamin' luurve with you, if you leave and forget everything you saw!" Lemon added thoughtfully.

The blonde blinked and made a perverted face. Orange rolled her eyes and Seto started banging his head against the bed. That didn't hurt at least.

Lemon grinned and dragged Joey off. Yugi, Seto and Orange exchanged looks - ranging from exasperated to confused.

"She will be beating her husband." mumbled Kaiba.

~

Bloody Mary: Hope you liked it!

dna: And don't forget to review! ^_^