"No Rest for the Wicked"
By
The Chad
12:00 AM
"Then we're all agreed," Master criminal and gentleman thief Arsene Lupin III stated finally as he and his friends surrounded their latest hard won haul on the table of the small dinette set in the hotel suite.
"Right," Goemon, the stoic ronin thief said calmly. "First we'll get some sleep, then we'll divide it up equally in the morning."
"I can't wait," The alluring and devious Fujiko Mine smiled impatiently.
"Well, you're gonna have to," The sharp bearded, gangster look-alike Daisuke Jigen said flatly as he lead the way to the living room area. "Now let's get some sleep."
"I get the bedroom," Fujiko said heading for the only one in the suite, unzipping the back of her tight dress as she went.
"I call the couch," Jigen said plopping down on the overstuffed piece of plush furniture.
"I shall be fine on the floor," Goemon stated as he sat down in the corner.
"And I'll sleep with Fujiko!" Lupin cheered as he skipped towards the separate room.
"Nice try," Fujiko laughed as the door slammed in his face. "You get the chair."
"Aww Fuji-cakes," Lupin whined. "That's cold."
----------------
1:00 AM
A lone figure snaked through the hotel suite like a shadow. Moving in the darkness, quiet as the grave; he appeared in the kitchen and made his way to the container on the table. he was determined to reach the rich treasure within. The man with the muttonchops almost had the most precious item of last night's swag in his grasp.
That's when the lights turned on.
Lupin turned to find himself facing the business end of two pistols and a very sharp katana.
"Aww, c'mon guys!" Lupin chuckled nervously. "Can't I--?"
"BED!!!" Fujiko, Jigen, and Goemon shouted in unison.
"Right," Lupin reluctantly agreed as he was herded back to the living room. "Bed."
----------------
3:00 AM
The lights from the city created a sensual silhouette and cast a shadow of mysterious beauty as the woman's lithe form passed in front of the window. She crossed the living room and entered the forbidden darkness of the kitchen area. She navigated the darkness to reach the dinette set and reached for the box on the table.
Oh yes, she could almost taste it. Just one more...
"What's this?" Fujiko heard as she felt an arm drape over her right shoulder and the cold metal of a gun barrel press between her ample cleavage.
"Feeling restless, Fuji-cakes?" Lupin asked. "I can think of a few things that'll tire you out."
"No thank you," Fujiko said curtly as she left the kitchen on her own. "I can get to sleep just fine without you boring me to death."
"Aww, Fuji-cakes," Lupin whined. "Now that's really cold!"
----------------
4:45 AM
The man with the sharp beard and slick hair lifted the fedora off his face and placed it on his head as he got up off the couch. He fallowed the worn path to the dining room and made his way to the table. He approached the table and reached for the item so many others had before him. Where they failed, he would succeed.
He almost had the golden treasure in his hands.
Jigen paused as he felt the sharp blade of a katana slide over his shoulder, dangerously close to cutting through his dark green suit.
"Up late Goemon?" Jigen joked with a daring smile. "I had expected this kind of behavior from Lupin and Fujiko," Goemon reprimanded as he eased the pressure on Jigen's shoulder. "But I am greatly disappointed in you Jigen."
"Oh well," Jigen said, finally allowed to turn around. "Looks like there's no honor among thieves after all."
"You can say that again," Lupin said as he flicked on the light switch. "This is the third time I caught Goemon in here."
Daisuke Jigen stared at the "honorable" samurai in disbelief.
"Well," Goemon answered, sheathing his sword. "It is as you say, 'There is no honor among thieves'."
"Yeah," Lupin sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "It's a real shame, ain't it...Fujiko?"
"Fine, fine. You got me," The beautiful woman sighed as she stood up from under the table; Jigen and Goemon staring on in disbelief and shock that they hadn't thought of that.
"Guys," Lupin addressed the gang. "This isn't working."
"Indeed," Goemon agreed.
"Why don't we split it up now?" Fujiko suggested.
"Why not?" Jigen shrugged. "It's not like we're gonna sleep anyway."
"Alrighty then!" Lupin clapped his hands in anticipation. "Let's get to it!"
Lupin's gang broke from the table and went to go get the tools for the job. Fujiko opened a drawer and pulled out the necessary utensils. Jigen pulled something out of the cupboard to put it in. Goemon opened the fridge and frowned.
"We are out of milk," He stated with a tone of disappointment.
"What?!?" Fujiko cried and dropped the spoons in her hand.
"Dammit, Lupin!" Jigen shouted, slamming the four bowls on the table. "It was your job to get the milk!"
"Hey! Don't blame me!" Lupin shouted in his defense. "How was I supposed to know Zenigata was going to come in to buy groceries at that exact moment?"
"And you couldn't just grab a carton of milk as you ran past?" Jigen laid down the blame.
"Now how are we supposed to eat the Honey Nut Cheerios?" Fujiko asked.
As they continued to argue, Goemon walked back into the living room.
"I am going back to bed," He said to no one. A feral smile crossed his lips as he reached into his ceremonial robes and pulled out a cold carton of milk. "In the morning, I plan to have a well balanced breakfast."
THE END
12:00 AM
"Then we're all agreed," Master criminal and gentleman thief Arsene Lupin III stated finally as he and his friends surrounded their latest hard won haul on the table of the small dinette set in the hotel suite.
"Right," Goemon, the stoic ronin thief said calmly. "First we'll get some sleep, then we'll divide it up equally in the morning."
"I can't wait," The alluring and devious Fujiko Mine smiled impatiently.
"Well, you're gonna have to," The sharp bearded, gangster look-alike Daisuke Jigen said flatly as he lead the way to the living room area. "Now let's get some sleep."
"I get the bedroom," Fujiko said heading for the only one in the suite, unzipping the back of her tight dress as she went.
"I call the couch," Jigen said plopping down on the overstuffed piece of plush furniture.
"I shall be fine on the floor," Goemon stated as he sat down in the corner.
"And I'll sleep with Fujiko!" Lupin cheered as he skipped towards the separate room.
"Nice try," Fujiko laughed as the door slammed in his face. "You get the chair."
"Aww Fuji-cakes," Lupin whined. "That's cold."
----------------
1:00 AM
A lone figure snaked through the hotel suite like a shadow. Moving in the darkness, quiet as the grave; he appeared in the kitchen and made his way to the container on the table. he was determined to reach the rich treasure within. The man with the muttonchops almost had the most precious item of last night's swag in his grasp.
That's when the lights turned on.
Lupin turned to find himself facing the business end of two pistols and a very sharp katana.
"Aww, c'mon guys!" Lupin chuckled nervously. "Can't I--?"
"BED!!!" Fujiko, Jigen, and Goemon shouted in unison.
"Right," Lupin reluctantly agreed as he was herded back to the living room. "Bed."
----------------
3:00 AM
The lights from the city created a sensual silhouette and cast a shadow of mysterious beauty as the woman's lithe form passed in front of the window. She crossed the living room and entered the forbidden darkness of the kitchen area. She navigated the darkness to reach the dinette set and reached for the box on the table.
Oh yes, she could almost taste it. Just one more...
"What's this?" Fujiko heard as she felt an arm drape over her right shoulder and the cold metal of a gun barrel press between her ample cleavage.
"Feeling restless, Fuji-cakes?" Lupin asked. "I can think of a few things that'll tire you out."
"No thank you," Fujiko said curtly as she left the kitchen on her own. "I can get to sleep just fine without you boring me to death."
"Aww, Fuji-cakes," Lupin whined. "Now that's really cold!"
----------------
4:45 AM
The man with the sharp beard and slick hair lifted the fedora off his face and placed it on his head as he got up off the couch. He fallowed the worn path to the dining room and made his way to the table. He approached the table and reached for the item so many others had before him. Where they failed, he would succeed.
He almost had the golden treasure in his hands.
Jigen paused as he felt the sharp blade of a katana slide over his shoulder, dangerously close to cutting through his dark green suit.
"Up late Goemon?" Jigen joked with a daring smile. "I had expected this kind of behavior from Lupin and Fujiko," Goemon reprimanded as he eased the pressure on Jigen's shoulder. "But I am greatly disappointed in you Jigen."
"Oh well," Jigen said, finally allowed to turn around. "Looks like there's no honor among thieves after all."
"You can say that again," Lupin said as he flicked on the light switch. "This is the third time I caught Goemon in here."
Daisuke Jigen stared at the "honorable" samurai in disbelief.
"Well," Goemon answered, sheathing his sword. "It is as you say, 'There is no honor among thieves'."
"Yeah," Lupin sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "It's a real shame, ain't it...Fujiko?"
"Fine, fine. You got me," The beautiful woman sighed as she stood up from under the table; Jigen and Goemon staring on in disbelief and shock that they hadn't thought of that.
"Guys," Lupin addressed the gang. "This isn't working."
"Indeed," Goemon agreed.
"Why don't we split it up now?" Fujiko suggested.
"Why not?" Jigen shrugged. "It's not like we're gonna sleep anyway."
"Alrighty then!" Lupin clapped his hands in anticipation. "Let's get to it!"
Lupin's gang broke from the table and went to go get the tools for the job. Fujiko opened a drawer and pulled out the necessary utensils. Jigen pulled something out of the cupboard to put it in. Goemon opened the fridge and frowned.
"We are out of milk," He stated with a tone of disappointment.
"What?!?" Fujiko cried and dropped the spoons in her hand.
"Dammit, Lupin!" Jigen shouted, slamming the four bowls on the table. "It was your job to get the milk!"
"Hey! Don't blame me!" Lupin shouted in his defense. "How was I supposed to know Zenigata was going to come in to buy groceries at that exact moment?"
"And you couldn't just grab a carton of milk as you ran past?" Jigen laid down the blame.
"Now how are we supposed to eat the Honey Nut Cheerios?" Fujiko asked.
As they continued to argue, Goemon walked back into the living room.
"I am going back to bed," He said to no one. A feral smile crossed his lips as he reached into his ceremonial robes and pulled out a cold carton of milk. "In the morning, I plan to have a well balanced breakfast."
THE END