Disclaimer: No, they don't belong to me. The RIAA has first dibs on my stuff, so don't bother suing.

Dedication: To Darci, because it's always to Darci, and to Liz, because she got me interested in this bunch of whackos in the first place.

Author's Notes: During a conversation with a certain IY-obsessed friend, I had a random thought about Miroku in today's world. This is the result.

"Detective Sango, please take the stand."

The uniformed woman stood up quietly and walked towards the witness stand. The bailiff stopped her first: "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do." She took her seat.

The prosecutor approached the stand. "Detective Sango, how do you know Detective Moroku?"

"He is--was--my partner. We both worked homicide in the Little Tokyo district."

"Did you ever have problems with his behavior?"

"Oh, yes. He was constantly trying to grope me--my...ah...rear end especially. It annoyed me to no end, but I'd hit him with my nightstick and put up with it."

"What changed that?"

"On December 18th, he asked me to...bear his child." The jury shifted in their seats uncomfortably.

"Thank you, Detective. No further questions, Your Honor."

The defense attorney got up next. "Detective, has Detective Miroku displayed this sort of behavior towards other women?"

"Yes. He doesn't try to grope them as often, but virtually every one--suspect, victim, witness, it doesn't matter--gets asked to bear his child. Some of them say yes, especially suspects. He doesn't seem to do them any favors if they agree, but it's not proper behavior for an officer of the law."

"I see. Has he ever told you why he asks that question?"

Sango answered hesitantly. Why would he bring that up? "The Detective claims that he's been cursed, and that he could die at any time. He's stated that his grandfather was cursed by a demon, and that he's still seeking to reverse this curse, but he wants to have a child in case it takes him before he can."

The attorney nodded. "Your Honor--with all this talk of curses and demons, my client is clearly not well. I move that he be declared mentally ill." Miroku stiffened in his chair, wanting to object to it but knowing he couldn't. Sango glared at the lawyer. That's not what's going on at all!

The judge's face twisted in indecision. "I will have to consider your motion. Do you have any further questions for the witness?"

"No, Your Honor."

"Then we will be in recess until nine o'clock tomorrow." The judge banged the gavel on the table and exited the courtroom.