Disclaimer- I do not own Digimon, or the song 'Castles In the Sky'
Castles In the Sky-Chp.1 Bloodstained Carpet
Kouichi. This is who I am. I am the warrior of darkness, Duskmon...at least that was my name. I changed; I was purified. I laugh at that though, how can you truly be purified by darkness? Really? Even though I was purified it doesn't erase the darkness in my heart. When I was purified they named me Lowemon. I may travel along side the digidestends, but I'll never really be one of them. I mean, all of their spirits can bring light into a dark creature's heart. Fire, Thunder, Ice, Wind, and Light. Even the others who were purified can bring light. Water, Metal, Earth, and Wood. But I, can't. I still spread darkness. I don't see why I was given this accursed spirit. Koji, my brother. The warrior of Light: Lobomon. He had the easy life with my dad. He never had a worry in the world. Unlike my mother and me. We always had to worry. And just because he had an easy life he was given the light spirit. I seriously don't know why. Yet, I give no anger towards him. On the outside at least. But in the inside I have a burning rage. And if one more thing-
"Kouichi! Kouichi, hey come on man we're leaving." Koji's voice cut into my thoughts.
"Huh? Oh ok." I got up trying to erase the bad things I thought about my father and Koji. It wasn't their fault everything seemed so easy for them. Who knows? Maybe it wasn't always that great in paradise.
As I walked alongside, or more like straggling behind the rest of the group; I thought again. Why was I thinking like that? I loved my father and my brother. And I'm proud to be the warrior of darkness. Yet, why do I feel like I'm lying to myself?
Kouichi had been acting strange lately. And as his older brother by two seconds, I am concerned. I mean he has always seems to be the odd-man-out. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Yeah that's it nothings wrong with him he's just a little shy. Maybe I should give him a boost. Uh, what to do. I know...
"Hey Kouichi."
"Yeah?" He asked timidly.
"Wanna race?" I said with a smirk.
He perked up a little, "Yeah, sure."
Everyone stopped and sat down to watch us race. We needed a break anyway.
"Ok, ready?" I asked.
"Oh yeah." He said smiling. That's good, he smiled, so maybe I'm just acting like a mother hen.
We ran. He was fast. I ran as fast as I could but he won. It was fun. It felt like the first time we were actually connecting.
I patted him on the back, "Good race buddy."
He smiled, "Thanks."
insert line thinga-ma-bob
Wow, that was fun. It was fun racing with Koji. And I won too.
"Hey Koji, better luck next time!" Takuya yelled.
I had to laugh. It was just too funny how they bickered about him losing, and seeing him pretending to be moody about it.
Zoë came up to me, "Hey, good job. I bet you're the only one who can beat him at something and him not getting mad." She patted me on the back and I blushed a little.
I was happy that I felt accepted. Yet, the threads of doubt, colored in darkness started to sew their way onto my thoughts. Maybe they just feel sorry for me? Or the only reason they're being nice to me because I'm Koji's brother? No, no, they are my friends for who I am. I got a little courage and asked Zoë.
"Hey Zoë?" I asked timidly. I was never good at talking to pretty girls. They make me nervous...very nervous.
"Yeah?" She asked perky as usual.
"Are we friends?"
She laughed, "Of course we're friends silly!" She gave me a big hug and I blushed again. Ok, so we are friends. I must just be paranoid. Yep, that's all. Mr. Kouichi the paranoid guy.
"Hey Kouichi? Were friends right?" She asked. smiling.
I smiled and hugged her back, "Of course."
We sat next to each other watching Takuya and Koji fighting. They looked so funny.
I ducked Takuya's playful punch. We started messing around after I lost to Kouichi, man was Takuya a jerk. I glanced at Kouichi and Zoë. I smiled. Yes, he was looking happier. I guess Zoë can make anyone smile. I was really happy that she took a liking in him. I always knew he liked her. So I'm really glad their getting to know each other more. During my thoughts Takuya tripped me. I looked up in surprise to find everyone laughing. Even Kouichi. I joined in the laughing. As Takuya was laughing in triumph. with his back to me I kicked the back of his knee, causing him to join me on the lovely ground. And he looked at me in surprise then started laughing. Everything was starting to feel better.
"Sucker!" I yelled happily. Ok, so being moody all the time, and then cutting loose at random moments when the stars are aligned to say, 'OK, was pretty cool. I think I'll make a schedule...well, at least Kouichi was happy, and that was all I was really going for.
That night I slept in-between Zoë and Koji. I felt warm and welcome. I turned to face the sleeping Zoë. She was so pretty. With her blonde hair and lovely blue eyes. I kept staring at her, and to my surprise she opened up her pretty blue eyes.
"Kouichi?" she whispered.
I blushed, uh-oh. "Yeah?" I whispered back.
She smiled and blushed herself, "Do you want to go take a little walk? I can't really sleep."
I smiled widely, "Yeah." This was good.
We got up and walked together. She was close to me. Very close. I kept looking up, hoping that she didn't notice me blush. Our hands brushed against each other and I my blush deepened. I felt like I might be a member of the cherry family if I continued to blush so bad.
"Kouichi, what is it like having a twin?" she asked as we walked. So I guess, she wanted a little small talk. Can I manage it? Well, I'm about to find out.
I was surprised, what an odd question "It's strange, to have someone who looks exactly like you, but is totally different walking around. But it's really fun too, like having a person best friend...or in my case, a new one."
She looked down as our hands brushed again. Something stirred in the bushes and startled her and she grabbed my hand. It was nothing but the wind. I continued to hold her hand because she never let go. So we walked hand in hand. Looking at each other and talking. We eventually went back to camp and fell asleep next to each other, hand in hand.
When I woke up I found Zoë and Kouichi holding hands. I was happy for him. Maybe she can help him become a little more open. I got up and went to find Takuya and Tommy making something to eat.
"Hey Koji." Takuya greeted me.
"Sup'." I said in a greeting.
I sat down to eat.
When Kouichi and Zoë finally woke up they sat next to each other, and turned bright pink every time their hands touched. Everyone else seemed a little glad for Kouichi too. Even J.P., who was like practically in love with Zoë. So maybe I was just paranoid about my brother. I guess, this is my own personal way of making it up to him for never being there for him for all those years.
Breakfast was nice. Everyone seemed really glad for us, or well...how we felt, or something. They just seemed to be glad that I was around. But...what if they were all just doing because they felt guilty? Or, or...why am I thinking this way? The little doubts nagged at me all day, no matter how happy I tried to feel. I just tried to ignore my demons and tried to enjoy my time with Zoë. Key word, 'tried.'
When ever it was time to finally go to sleep, I couldn't. I lied down the same way I did the night before, but I still felt the doubts eating at me. I needed some air. I knew that it was dangerous to go walking alone but I just needed a walk. As I walked I thought about Zoë and how I loved having her around. I eventually stopped and sat down and stared at the moon. I felt a pull on my heart. I wanted to run into the warmth of the darkness. It was so much easier, than being devoured by my doubts. Being the warrior of darkness I embraced the dark. Mother darkness has always been there for me when I cried. Or when I was afraid. I felt the cool wind kiss my face. I lied down in the sweet grass. This stillness, the insecurity, my fears all seemed to be melting away. Then my mother's sweet voice poured in like syrup in my mind. A song she used to sing to me entered my mind. It never failed to make me feel calm.
Do you ever question your life?
Do you ever wonder why? Do you ever see in your dreams, all the castles in the sky... oh tell me why...
do we build castles in the sky... oh tell me why... are the castles way up high... please tell me why... do we build castles in the sky... oh tell me why... all the castles way up high...
That song seemed to be exactly what I needed. A little reminder of home, and comfort. I started to drift off to sleep when I heard a rustle behind me. I shot up and turned around to find Kojji. I let out a sigh of relief. I really had no strength to fight anything.
"Hey man." Koji said sitting down next to me. Did he notice me gone?
"Oh, hey." I said, trying my best to give a believable smile.
"Don't sound so happy to see me." he said sarcastically, but with a smirk.
"Sorry, I just was thinking."
"Oh, good thoughts I hope."
I gave a small half-way nod, and then there was just silence between us. Koji was the first one to break the silence.
"Listen, Kouichi, I just want you to know, that if you ever need any help with anything, or whatever it be, a fight, or something, I'll be there for you. I want to make up for not being there all those years."
I don't know what it was that he said, but something about what he said made me snap. The doubts finally came through, "I don't need your pity. I've been taking care of myself and my mother for almost all my life. Why would I need you now?" I said with no expression what so ever on my face as I looked down at the grass.
"What?" Koji asked taken aback. "Kouichi, what do you mean? Look, I'm just trying to-"
"I know what you are trying to do. You all just pretend to be there for me. And you're just saying this to make yourself feel better. You couldn't care less exactly how I feel Koji, warrior of Light." I couldn't recognize my own voice as the darkness slithered out of my mouth in and into the nighttime air.
"What the hell are you talking about Kouichi! You know that I mean this and-hey! Are you even listening to me!" He yelled.
No, I wasn't listening. My darkness was clogging up my ears, my nose, my eyes, my throat, I was drowning in it. It was back. And I couldn't stop it.
nano1: so i redid this story...i like it better this way. the last time i wrote this story i didn't really have access to a compy so i sorta had to rush everything. well, i hope you guys like the revisions i made! bu-bye!