A/N: Finally, part 2…

            "Ah, Sir Integra, so good to see you…an interesting choice of characters I must say."

            "Well," Said Integra, smiling only slightly, "We thought my manservant wouldn't be as convincing a Mina Harker as me…something to do with a combination of his age, height and gender…it doesn't quite add up."

            Sir Thackeray laughed. It sounded like a horse with a smoker's cough. "And, er, where are your guests?"

            "Oh, they're coming. They'll be here any minute now."

            "Oh excellent," Said Thackeray's smug looking wife, "What are their costumes?"

            "Dracula and his bride"

            "Splendid! Who are these people, do we know them?"
            "I very much doubt it, lady Thackeray…let's just put it like this, Joshua." She turned to Lord Thackeray, "They aren't wearing fake fangs."

            Sir Thackeray's glass hit the floor and shattered. "You…haven't…" He spluttered slightly. Several others turned round to observe the knight's behaviour, wondering what had happened.

            "There's no-one here at any clearance level lower than three, is there?" Said Integra loudly. There was no response.

            "Excellent." She said, "Then you can look up without me having to shoot you."

            Sir Thackeray's residence was of Edwardian design, and one of its main features was the glass roofed ballroom. Tonight, it gave an excellent view of a surprisingly clear night sky. A waxing moon shone bright…then began to gutter like a candle as a tattered black cloud moved across it. The cloud twisted in mid-air, curving round to curl round the house. There was a general impression of wings and dots of glowing red.

            "What the hell…" said someone, who obviously had never received the lecture. Integra's face creased into a smile. This was indeed going to be as fun as she had imagined.

            The swarm of bats swirled round to the front of the house. There was a moments silence, then a long, drawn-out scream. Then silence again. This silence had slipped only to the most low-key of whispers twenty seconds later when the footman walked in. The man's eyes were wide and blank, as if he was sleepwalking. He was holding a piece of paper in one hand, and raised it slowly as he announced the new guests in a dreamlike voice.

            "Presenting the guest of Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, Prince Vlad III Dracula Tepes of Walachia and his adopted daughter Junior Lieutenant Seras Victoria (deceased)"

            Integra smiled. Those too dense or too ignorant of central European history or the vampire mythos to pick up on Alucard's real name would have been banged wide awake by Seras 'deceased' tag. All eyes were on the door as the pair entered.

            Such an entrance truly deserved a performance of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor to accompany it. Either Alucard had been coaching Seras or he was simply taking over her mind. But the whole thing was perfect. They had the walk, the posture, the expression. Just the right mix of arrogance, aloofness, mystery and sheer evil. Seras wore a slight grin, just enough to show one fang, and hooded eyes over her red irises. Alucard was, for want of a better word, smirking. The effect of the long cloak and dress was to add another good foot to the height of each. Shadows seemed to cluster around them. There was utter, total silence as they walked through the room. If jaws did indeed drop and eyes did indeed pop out of sockets, then the room would have been knee-deep in mandibles and eyeballs.

            The two stopped in front of Sir Thackeray. Alucard bowed low, and Seras pulled off a perfect curtsey, adding weight to the idea that Alucard was probably just mindslaving her.

            "Sir Thackeray." Said Alucard, extending a gloved hand, "Delighted to make your acquaintance. I knew your grandfather, I think…a most tiresome man."

            Thackeray, who was under no illusions as to who and what Alucard was. Looked at him in blank horror for a few seconds before releasing that this was not the kind of person one was impolite to. Ever. He extended a shaking hand. Alucard grasped it rather too firmly, eliciting a slight gasp from the knight, then released it. Then he turned to Seras, who, for totally different reasons, grasped his hand too firmly and shook it enthusiastically, grinning wider. Unfortunately this attempt at friendliness made her resemble a shark that had just eaten a particularly large amount of baby seals. Integra frowned all the same. She had ordered zero joviality. Seras was the only member of the living dead she had ever met who could manage to be inexplicably cute. It worried Integra somewhat. Bloodsucking monsters were, in her opinion, not supposed to have eyes quite that big, or a mouth quite that small, or a way of looking at you that made you feel like you had just kicked a small puppy. Of course she was under no illusions, she had seen what Seras left behind after hand-to-hand combat, but…damn that girl! She was the most incompetent vampire ever. Alucard was perfection, in the Nosferatu sense. Handsome, arrogant, cruel, leering, sarcastic and of immense physical presence, he was perfectly intimidating. Seras, quite frankly, had work to do.

            "Erm…Walachia?" Said Thackeray in a stuttering and wildly misguided attempt to exchange pleasantries.

            "It's in modern day Romania," said Alucard. "The part known nowadays as…Transylvania!" Integra felt the urge to clap. She had no idea that vampires could add an echo effect to their voice. Thackeray stepped back awkwardly. Seras began mumbling an apology for her masters behaviour. Integra clamped a firm hand on her shoulder and leaned in to her ear whilst everyone was looking at Alucard, who had started leaning forward slightly, forcing Thackeray to lean backwards.

            "No niceness, Officer Victoria."

            "Sorry…" She said.

            "No! Not 'sorry', try 'What gives you the right to order my actions, pathetic mortal!'"

            Seras turned slightly.

            "What gives you the right to order my actions, pathetic mortal?"

            Integra grinned ever so slightly.

            "That's the idea."

            She turned back to Sir Thackeray.

            "I know it's not normal to invite ones pets to a fancy dress ball, but I have never been noted for my strict adherence to cultural norms." She smiled sweetly. "You may tell your musicians to start playing again, Joshua…"

            Seras turned from the grinning vampire lord and the shell-shocked knight and surveyed the room. Everyone was, of course, staring at them, but they averted their eyes when she looked at them. This was…horrible. She wanted to crawl into a corner and die, again, from embarrassment.

            No, she reminded herself. Strength! She couldn't show up Sir Integra and the Hellsing in front of all these people.

            She was going to have to be evil.

            She gulped. Oh dear.

            Right, evil, evil, evil…She tried to think back to every film she'd ever watched. In movies like James Bond, she remembered, the evil women always had a drink…so her first course of action must be to get a drink! Besides, it would comfort her, make her feel a teeny bit human, even if she couldn't get drunk.

            She walked purposely over to a cocktail waiter, who was staring fearfully at her. She stopped in front of him. He did nothing, merely stood shaking. This was a ridiculous. She looked at the various drinks on his tray. There were several different kinds…she tried to think of an impolite way of asking what was what. Whilst doing this, she let out a polite cough to break the silence, causing the waiter to jump, sending glasses shattering to the floor.

            She caught herself beginning to bend to help clean up the mess before she remembered, and she rocked slightly as she went bolt-upright again.

            "Pathetic human." She said, In what she imagined was a stern voice, but was instead more motherly. Then she turned and headed for the next cocktail waiter, who wet himself when she was ten feet away, and ran from the room, leaving another tray of shattered glasses.

            "That…monster is attacking my staff!" spluttered Sir Thackeray to Integra as Seras took a deep breath and advanced on the next waiter.

            "Nonsense, Joshua. She's merely trying to procure a drink."

            "Vampires don't drink drinks, they drink people!"

            "Most untrue." Said Alucard, turning away from his task of seeing how many people he could make leave the room by grinning at them. "Vampires can imbibe any liquid, though we cannot be chemically affected by them. Why, I regularly enjoy a good bottle of wine…"

            So that's where it had been going, thought Integra. She was posting gaurds with silver ammunition on the wine cellar when she got back.

            "…and even developed a taste for that herbal drink they brought over from the colonies at the beginning of last century…what is it they call it Walter?"

            "Coca-Cola, Alucard." Said Walter, in the exasperated tone of someone who has imparted the same piece of information many times before and knows he will do it many times again.

            "That's it! Marvellous stuff, though it tasted far better before they removed the cocaine. I've tried mixing some in, but it's not the same."

            Seras had finally managed to secure a stationary and stable cocktail waiter, albeit one whose eyes were shut tight, and was choosing her drink by the time honoured 'Ip-Dip-Battleship' method.

            Get me a Screwdriver. He called telepathically to Seras.

            Which one is that, Master?

            The orange one.

            Oooooooh… She whined, causing Alucard to wince slightly, I wanted that one…

            Have a different one, that's an order police girl.

            Does sir Integra want anything?

            She's having far too much fun to want to miss any of it by being even a little drunk.

            Seras carefully reached for the two drinks, aware her strength could easily crush the tall thin glasses if she applied too much pressure. She was like a golden retriever, carrying an egg in her hand. The image pleased her.

            She picked up the two drinks. The waiter instantly collapsed, falling limply to the floor, the rest of his drinks tumbling around him. Seras rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, then turned and walked back towards sir Integra and Alucard, the crowd parting before her. She handed her master his drink, and he nodded and gave her a little smile, which made her feel all woozy inside…

            Snap out of it Seras! She told herself sternly. He's only teasing you. She looked at her master, then Sir Integra, and back again, then gave an indignant humph and started drinking her beverage, which tasted thoroughly revolting, though she finished it anyway.

            Integra felt like beaming again as she saw Seras' scowling face, red eyes narrowed and full of feral anger. She looked about ready to kill, perfect. Extra blood for her tomorrow, if she kept this up.

            "And now, I shall dance." Announced Integra. A petrified looking young man who had been hanging around a few feet from the group quickly moved forward towards Sir Integra. He began to say something. Suddenly Alucard's drink had disappeared and he had crossed the space between himself and sir Integra in an eyeblink, placing the daunting sweep of his caped body between her and the young man.

            "May I take your hand for this dance, Master?" He asked.

            Integra smirked and swept off with him, leaving the young man stumbling to a halt, right in front of Seras. She smiled sweetly at him. His eyes grew wide.

            He looked left and right, panicky…"Erm…" Breeding took over, he couldn't be left standing here…"Would you…like to…dance?" he asked awkwardly.

            "Ok!" She said slightly too eagerly, then more coldly, "Er, yes…mortal"

            She took one hand firmly, then the other, and began to go through the steps of the dance. She could feel him shudder as he felt the cold skin of her hands, and then they were twirling away. Surprisingly, Seras found herself rather more proficient than she remembered from the last police ball she had ever attended. Even in the unfamiliar long dress. She found herself moving faster with the music, a lively tango. The young man looked utterly terrified.

            Integra caught a glimpse of Seras dancing, then looked up at Alucard. She noticed his sick little grin, and guessed who might be helping to guide the young vampiress' feet.

            The tango, picked up, and Seras tried more complex moves, as she had seen in films. To her great delight she could pull them all off perfectly, though she did find herself assuming the male part, as she flung her almost gibbering dance partner around like a ragdoll. As the song ended, Seras leant forward and kissed him lightly on the lips and stood him up. He turned and immediately ran from the room, muttering something.

            "What did I do wrong?" She asked, half-meekly, as she stepped next to her master.

            "Your saliva is mostly blood, police girl." He said smirking. "Most humans do not find the taste pleasant…fools." He muttered the last part under his breath.

            "Oh yes…" She murmured…"hadn't thought of that…"

            "Oh well, I'm sure you've caused no major lasting psychological damage…" added Sir Integra, sidling up.

            "Oooh, I hope not…"

            "Don't slip into niceness, Officer Victoria…I think I see another one coming…"

            Seras fell forward onto her coffin-bed with a groan. Her dress was crumpled underneath her, but she didn't care. What a night! Sir Integra had skilfully managed to manipulate no less than five young men into dancing with her by various means, and her mind ran through the reactions of each one. Was she really such a monster. She sat back up and began removing her complicated dress. Leaving it crumpled on the floor she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled on some comfortable jeans and a sweater. Already feeling a lot better, she clicked on the radio for some mellow late-night easy listening. Than she sat down in her chair and sighed. She really wasn't cut out for this. Every other vampire she'd ever met, except perhaps Helena,  had revelled in being, well, demons. They drank blood and killed and made love with reckless abandon, whilst she…

She just wanted to be happy. Was that so much to ask?

Oh well, it had been an experience. And at least she'd never have to meet any of those people again, it was a shame, they all seemed so respectable…

"Damn inbreeds!" Cursed Integra, lighting a cigar with her huge desk lighter. "Curse them thrice, Walter!"

"Indeed, Sir Integra, indeed. Shall I fill out the usual reply?"

"…no." the knight took a speculative puff. "...actually…is there any sort of theme?"

"Erm, black and white, it would seem…"

            "Black…black…Walter, do we still have that thing my father locked Alucard in the dungeons in?"
            "The leather outfit, Sir Integra? I believe Alucard has it…"

            "Yes. Have him conjure it back up in whatever  mysterious way he clothes himself, and get a nurses outfit made up for Officer Victoria. And I'll need a suit in black with a white tie."

            She held the Christmas invitation in one hand and flicked it. Some lessons had to be taught twice, it would seem…