DISCLAIMER – Usual Stuff, don't own them yadda yadda yadda. They are the proud property of Mr Craig Bartlett, the brains of the operation. But I'll tell you if I had my way…

By littlepinkbook

"Arnold!!" I shriek in disbelief, snapping my notebook shut violently.

"Wha…? What I do?" Arnold asked innocently, scooting back into his seat and pretending to have been looking at his English notes the whole time.

The Kennedy College library was relatively hushed but stirred with the gentle humming of whispered chatter and the occasional rustle of a page turning.

I roll my eyes but smirk in spite of myself, even though the hint of anger still lingered. This particular notepad was very important to me. This hardback, pink, highly used piece of stationary contained my innermost thoughts and emotions. Scribbled inside the A4 pages was a high abundance of poetry, songs, and short stories. Screeds and screeds of pure emotion and beauty oozed out of my pen onto that paper. Long, heart-aching speeches and confessions about the pain of keeping the biggest secret of my life bottled up. My burning love and passion for the cheeky, blond football head sat beside me. The young man whom now stared at me, his eyes aglow with exasperation and frustration.

I sigh upon registering his feelings. I run my delicate fingers over the smoothness of the cover of my most treasured possession, with an almost protective love.

"Arnold, I've told you before that this book is very private",

"Well, when you're so mysterious about it can you blame me for being curious?" He retorted

"Arnold…" I begin warningly.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. You're right, no more peeking, I promise", he said holding up his hands in over dramatic surrender accompanied with one of his vintage, cheeky lop-sided grins which made my knees instantly go weak.

I laughed a weak, almost forced laugh. He had no idea how crazy he drove me just by being around. We met like this everyday for this study period. We shared the same English lit' class so studying together seemed to make sense. The burning love I'd felt for him since we first met at the tender age of three was still as alive as if it had just been lit. However, much to my increasing pain, over the years as we got older that innocent love became coupled with desire. Once I had thrilled at the mere thought of being around him, now I dreaded it. He had simply no clue what effect every innocent and seemingly meaningless touch had on me. The lingering of his hand on my shoulder, the brushing of it against mine when he let it drop languidly by his side. The contact of these simple gestures sending zinging electricity to every fibre in my body. I can't count how many times he has leaned in to whisper something in my ear at the volume the library would allow. I feel his breath tickle the tiny hairs on the back of my neck, the scent of him, some divine cologne and something uniquely Arnold. I can't help but think what he might taste like. I feel his warmth near my cheek and so many times I have taken a sharp intake of breath as I feel the rush in my spine caused by his closeness. It's beyond me why he never seems to notice, but then, he's always been dense!

This electricity, it's so overpowering. Its hot, fast and stirs something inside me and the only time I can experience it is when I'm around Arnold. It's strange and new, and as alien as it may be, it promises to be the appetiser of a much more intense pleasure!

My thoughts were suddenly invaded by a prickly sensation that began to seep into me. It was then I realised that he was staring at me. My sixth sense for him had sprung into action when his gaze had become intense. I felt a flush of excitement that all too quickly was tainted with confusion. I lifted my own gaze to meet with his but as quickly as I did he averted his. He shifted uncomfortably and the spell was broken. I couldn't say how long he had been staring at me; I had been too lost in my own thoughts. But in the briefest of moments that my eyes had met his luminous green ones I had seen something. Something I couldn't quite pinpoint, but maddeningly, knew was familiar.

Finally he spoke and broke this deafening silence that threatened to envelope us.

"I, uh, I have to go meet Lila…"

Ouch! Did that ever sting! Lila, that name reminded me of the barrier that stood between us. The oh so adoring girlfriend, the little Miss perfect. There's one in every crowd. Oh, but here's the punch line, she's one of only two people who know about my dark little secret! How deliciously ironic, huh?

He coughs as he stands up and shuffles his notes together. In hearing his voice I was quite astonished to find that his mouth had just gone as dry as mine had. All though his absence was going to be the relief a cold shower would normally give I couldn't help but feel the pain his leaving me always left behind, like a bitter aftertaste. But I couldn't very well throw myself at his feet and beg him never to leave me, could I?

"Oh…ok, I'll see you later then", I managed to say hoping I hid at least most of the pain from my expression. There was a silent moment and I felt his presence still hovering so I let my eyes flit up to meet his. Again I saw something, this time that seemed to be bordering on urgency, as though he were daring me, perhaps even willing me to ask him to stay. However when I just raised an eyebrow quizzically he very softly sighed, barely audible but I noticed. I noticed everything.

"See ya, Helga!" He finally said and exited briskly.

I watched him go with agony but let myself get wrapped up in my forte, English, instead of missing him.

*

When the moment finally came when I could retreat to my dorm I felt a wave of relief. My head was spinning from the double Bio section I had just struggled to stay awake in. I just wanted to curl up and hibernate. However, this was not the case for you see tacked to my dorm room door was a little pink note. It's bold lettering screaming at me through my tired haze.

"HELGA, COME TO MY DORM WHEN YOU GET THIS! LILA"

My brow furrowed into a scowl as I tore the note from my door and scrunched it tightly in my hands. The hate I've retained for this girl since we were nine years old bubbling and simmering in my chest, threatening to boil over.

"What the hell does * she * want?" I spat angrily. The last person I wanted to see was that manipulative demon. Don't get me wrong, this isn't just insane jealously talking, although the green-eyed monster does have a role in this soap opera that is my life. No, it's more than my juvenile jealousy. I seem to be the only one who can see right through her goody-two-shoes façade into the shallow, manipulative interior. No, her lies hadn't pulled the wool over my eyes. I was too perceptive than that!

The very thought that my good hearted, trusting Arnold had been under that witches spell since the fourth grade did nothing but fuel my anger further. It was no longer curiosity but now rage that sent me storming to her dorm just in the hope I might give her a piece of my mind.

*

I banged on her door with a tight, balled fist. I could feel the stony disposition etch itself into my countenance and I'm positive that if I had glanced in a mirror just then I would have seen a storm cloud.

I heard a muffled, "Come in Helga". She knew it was me, perhaps she could feel my anger.

I opened the door and made my way slowly inside. I slammed the door with as much strength as I could muster in the hope I might startle her. Nothing. She sat unmoved on the edge of her bed. I tossed the little ball of paper at her feet and said calmly, "I believe you wanted to see me?"

Her hollow eyes trailed, slowly, up and down the length of my body. I noticed the way she eyed how my tight, black blouse and jeans hugged neatly to the frame of my body. I'm sure I saw a flicker of that familiar green fire in her cold eyes. She simply nodded which infuriated me further, sending another rush of hot anger into my chest.

I saw her lips curl into a bitter smirk, "Who would have thought you would have turned out to be so pretty? No wonder he looks at you the way he does", she said.

I clenched my teeth in quiet rage, showing no evidence that that remark had stung. Yet something in what she said made me curious.

She no longer felt the need to keep up the "angel" routine with me, more often that not she showed me her true colours. Like right now…

"What is that supposed to mean?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

She laughed, not a nice sound, more of a shocked snort. "Oh please Helga, don't pretend you don't see it. You being the master of all deception and emotion".

"See what?" I barked, leaning towards losing my temper.

Suddenly Lila's temper flared and her expression darkened, so suddenly it startled me.

"Arnold", she growled "He's completely besotted by you, and don't tell me you don't know it. I know how you feel about him, your pathetic little crush".

My eyes widened, I had tried to convince those who knew that that was behind me along with everything else in my past. That I had left him behind along with the tormented little nine-year old bully.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I left those feelings behind a long time ago!" I defended, hoping she didn't hear the quiver in my lie.

"Bullshit!" She yelled, taking me back, I had never seen her so angry. Could it be I was wrong, could it be she is actually in love with him?

She calmed before she went on…

"When he kisses me now I don't feel it anymore. I know that he wants to be with you, he cries out your name instead of mine when…" she trailed off. Her tone was not of sorrowful regret but more the kind when someone who needs to win gets their trophy taken away from them.

My eye widened at her last comment, this couldn't be some cruel joke, it had to be real. I felt the wings of hope flutter excitedly in my heart, my palms start to sweat with nerves and angst about the whole situation. Could it possibly be, in my wildest dreams, could Arnold possibly reciprocate my feelings?

She sighed and flopped into a chair in the corner, "He'll be here soon". She said without even looking at me.

"What?" I was really confused now.

Before she could answer, he was already here, he walked in mid-sentence.

"You wanted to see me…Helga?"

He spotted me and slowed his pace, confusion and something else written on his face.

Lila slammed the door, "Hiya, honey!" She greeted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Uh, hi", he took his time tearing his eyes off me to focus on her, and the anger flaring in her eyes confirmed that she had noticed too. "Are you ok?" He asked her.

I remained silent, like a caged animal I watched, wary and not completely sure of my role in this little scene. I noticed Arnold's wariness too, he was anxious to know why I was there and the motive that Lila had.

"I want to talk to you both", she said as sweetly as sugar, flicking a smile and motioning for us to sit on the bed. We glanced at each other for answers before obeying.

She sat at a distance in a chair that faced us, I could smell that unique scent of him again and felt that agonising desire, and I wanted to wear that scent.

"I want a favour from you both"; she demanded more than asked.

"Um, ok, sure", replied Arnold a little confused but seemingly relieved. I knew better, I kept my guard up, I knew she had something up her sleeves.

She smiled, no, grinned. Arnold's acceptance had sealed our fate; she was going to make us do whatever she asked.

"I want you both…to kiss!"

I coughed, spluttered and laughed all at the same time. I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling, a twinge of anticipation, a flush of excitement and a dash of dread. My head was screaming at me to make a hasty retreat but my body wouldn't let me.

"Are you out of your mind?" I stammered, barely retaining composure.

Arnold has still said nothing, his eyes had widened but that was it, he wasn't about to give in just yet.

"Lila, have you been drinking?" He asked her solemnly.

"I'm deathly serious, prove what you told me the other night", she whispered sickeningly.

That was it! That's what she wanted, proof! Plain and simple. If Arnold and I kissed her suspicions would be confirmed. Arnold glared at her then sighed, he turned to me and looked straight into my eyes. He was looking for consent…I gave him it. Its just one little kiss, what harm could it do? I'm strong, nothing will happen that I can't control.

Arnold leaned in closer, I think Lila was as surprised we were going to do it as I was. He hovered just in front of my face, our breaths mingling together, the heat was unbearable. He let his eyes wonder up to meet mine, I was already weakening. He held my gaze for a moment before leaning in and dropping his lips on mine. I heard faint gasp from Lila before the world around melted away.

When his lips met with mine, the touch was so soft and gentle but it sent a wave of that electricity rushing through me. It was a hundred times stronger than I had ever felt it and I felt the temperature rise drastically. I expected him to pull away immediately but I felt his hand slide around my waist and before I knew what was happening mine was on the nape of his neck. He pulled me as close as he could get me and deepened the kiss and finally I could answer the question of what he tasted like. I tasted the sweetness of cola and something that was so uniquely him I couldn't get enough of it.

I expect there wasn't daylight between our bodies now, the heat was intense, I felt myself being lowered and as I was laid on the bed we broke the kiss. Both panting softly from the loss of breath and rush of desire…I looked in his eyes, it wasn't just lust, I saw love. I felt tears well up behind my lids, tears of pure joy. He started to plant tiny little kisses on the soft flesh of my neck and I felt words beginning to bubble on my lips. I shut my eyes tightly and before I knew what I was saying I was blurting out everything. I love you wasn't the only thing I heard myself say, there were a few "ever since the day we met's" and "think about you all the time's" in there too.

We were suddenly brought crashing back down into reality when Lila finally spoke; the remembrance that we were not alone came flooding back. My eyes snapped open and I saw Arnold's bewildered face merely centimetres from mine. I pushed him off me and sat up, covering my face with my hands.

"Oh no", I whimpered in regret.

"Get out!" Lila hissed dangerously, not with the tone of someone with a broken heart but more of the spoilt child having something they can't have ripped out of their grasp. He had never been hers.

I got up and almost ran to the door in desperation to make a fast exit, tears already blurring my vision. What I had said in this room can never be undone.

I ran down the hallway but felt someone grab my arm and strongly but gently pull me back.

It was Arnold.

"No, you don't have to go!" He whispered lovingly.

"Yes I do", I replied in a barely audible whimper.

He dropped a soft kiss on my mouth, which I felt more emotion in than any touch he had bestowed upon me so far. I pulled away, shaking my head…

"No…not now!"

I turned and fled, leaving my crestfallen love to deal with her. He couldn't have me there for that. She had never love him and only now was he realising it.