Just a quick note, would the artist called 'Someone' please stand up? Ah, there you are. Thank you for your comments Mr Someone, I would be honoured to have the stories you wanted on your page - I don't suppose you could give me your URL so I could check your page out? Sorry about not getting back to you sooner - you left no email addy, so I had no idea how to contact you.
We now return you back to your Gundam channel.
Part two of Reflections is Duo reflecting on Relena.
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So you want my view of Relena, eh? Well sit down and make yourself comfortable - I've got a lot to say about the Queen of the World. I'll try and keep my language in check - but you must remember that I am only a lowly orphan from L2.
Relena has got to be one of the most self centered people I've met. Yep - pretty hefty comments about our 'saviour' wouldn't you say? But remember, you don't know Relena as well as I do. You've never had to deal with the obsessive way she stalks Heero - and the way she toys with his feelings. Heero, the baka, has no idea how to deal with a crazed teen bent on making his life hell.
But Relena, as always, is oblivious to others feelings. She has lived an unbelievably sheltered life - she has no idea what life is like for the five of us, yet she is always trying to impose her ideas and beliefs on our way of living. What will it take to get it through her thick head that Gundam pilots cannot, under any circumstances, become attached emotionally to others? We don't know if we are going to survive the next few hours, let alone a full day.
Yet, despite this, she wants to make Heero care about another person beyond what is necessary, simply to make her feel important, to feel loved. Well I've got news for you Queeny - while it may make you feel good having Heero care for you, it mucks him up seriously. You've confused him, and it has shaken his very core . Now he has to deal with the guilt of hurting you if he dies, which compromises each and every mission he goes on.
But hey, who cares about all the people we are trying to save, the destruction we are trying to prevent, as long as Relena feels good about herself.
Her obsession with Heero boarders on insanity, in fact, I think it defines it. For crying out loud, her father DIED, and all she can think about is a handsome, yet cold, stranger.
Nice to see she has her priorities straight.
In case you couldn't tell, Relena doesn't rate high up there on my 'suitable leader' list. Hell, I don't think she rates high on ANY of suitable lists - exact maybe the 'suitable pinata' one.
She's closed minded, arrogant, self centered and above all, annoying as hell.
And if you believe all that, then I'm as good an actor as I am good looking.
Don't get me wrong, Relena does annoy me, but everything I said above? Well, that was me being selfish. You see, if I tell you my true opinions of Relena, then I have to take off my own mask. If you truly want my opinions, you must deal with the real Duo, not the cherry one who pilots a cool Gundam, but the one underneath all that. The one who has been hurt, abandoned and died a thousand time over.
You still want to know? Really? Don't say I didn't warn you then, this is a side of me you might not be used to.
Relena doesn't care for Heero, not really. Oh, I know you can all tell me about all the times Relena has shown how much she loves Heero, but it is all a facade. He is her mask, I guess you could say, just like being easy-go-lucky is mine.
Still don't understand? You're going to make it spell it out for you aren't you?
Alright.
Relena's world has been turned upside down. Her father was always the pillar of stability in her life, yet fate cruelly ripped him away from her. You can't understand the overwhelming feel of loss, the utter emptiness that comes over a person when they lose the one thing that means the universe to them.
Unfortunately, I do. It's not a feeling you would wish on anyone.
Grief can make you do the strangest things, can make you seek refuge in the strangest places. I deal with mine by becoming so absorbed in the cause that my past is a mere wisp of a memory, Relena does the same thing. Her 'cause' however is not the war, but Heero. By chasing Heero around like a silly school girl she can escape reality, escape the pain.
She's not a silly school girl. But she's not strong enough to deal with the truth either.
And who am I to judge her when I follow the same philosophy?
You see, when I look at Relena, I feel like I'm staring at a reflection of my own soul, and it terrifies me. She makes me aware that my on mask is simply that, and that's something I can't deal with.
Not yet, not just yet. Maybe not for a long time.
We could be friends, Relena and I, but not while she is the Queen of the World, and I'm the goofball. But maybe, when this is all over, we can cast aside our masks and mourn.
And after the mourning, perhaps we can finally, ~finally~ live.
Fini.
