Yo, peeps!! Here's my Valentine's present for all of ya. Please don't be freaked out by iyo's odd behaviour...it's 4 in the morning and she's had less than 5 hours of sleep every day for two weeks and now she's high on...green tea? That can't be right...must have been those wierd crackers. Hey, I was hungry, how should I know if the crackers were wierd or not. Che. Whatever. I was referring to myself in third person...right...

Anyways, back on topic. This is my first shonen-ai fanfic...actually it's more like a free-for-all with het, shonen-ai, and other crazy pairings mixed into it. It was a wierd idea. What can you expect? I'm running on green tea and crackers, and I came up with this idea while lying on my stomach in my little brother's bed, after playing a wierd video game that involved swatting bugs...Stupid boss bug...

After you have heard all that wierdness, here you are: For Sale

"But we have to!! Everyone else is doing it!!"

The three males of team seven sighed as the bubble-gum haired girl whined about the up-coming 'Day of Dread' for all male ninja...Valentine's Day.

Why the 'Day of Dread' you ask? Personally, the authoress has nothing against the day that celebrates love, pink, lace, flowers, pink, cards, chocolate, pink, romantic dinners, and of course, pink. But for a city full of ninjas, where could you hide from rabid fangirls bent on giving you a token of their affection? The answer was: nowhere. They were all ninjas for heaven sakes. Most of them had some kind of skill in their craft, so they would probably not have any problems tracking you down. Ah, the joys of love.

The dark-haired Sasuke glanced coldly at Sakura, "If we are going to do it, you can count me out."

"B-but, Sasuke-kun! You just have to go! Who else would be more qualified than you?"

"Let me see....EVERYONE! Uchiha's a jerk. I don't see what you like about him, Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke turned a full-forced glare to the blond head, "Shut up, dobe. No one asked for your opinion."

Naruto simply rolled his eyes, "Whatever! I bet you're just afraid. Bet I could make more money than you."

Hearing that statement, Sasuke smirked, "Kakashi-sensei, Naruto just volunteered."

Their sensei's eye crinkled up in a smile as he looked up from his book, "Good job, Naruto. Now we have a representative. Wasn't that easy? That was what we should have done in the beginning, instead of wasting time that could have been better spent elsewhere."

Inner-Sakura clenched her fist angrily, "But who would want to buy Naruto?!"

Heh, you'd be surprised.

The Day of Dread

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably as he was dressed up for the auction. Instead of his usual bright orange wear, he was now dressed in a light blue shirt decorated with a large orange logo, and a pair of baggy jeans. His hair couldn't be tamed, so the organizers of the auction didn't even bother. He was first up on the list of that night's festivities celebrating Valentine's day. There would be a dance, and a dinner, but now: the auction. Everyone had thought it was natural for Team 7 to organize the auction, with Sasuke on the team and all. Who'd have thought that the Kyuubi would have been tricked into being the item up for auction.

Naruto sighed...'Whatever. This day couldn't possibly get any worse.'

Oh, but it can.

Sasuke was prowling around the house restlessly, he had been up all night thinking about the auction and that dobe. "Che, like I care what happens to him."

'Then why do I have the urge to take all my life savings and go to the auction?'

I wonder why?

Neji sat with his head rested against a tree, surveying the festivities going on in the town. Pink, lace, and flowers. Those were things that Neji could say he didn't like. Liking them just wasn't very fitting for the silver-eyed Neji. He heard shouts below,

"The auction's starting!"

"Oh, my god. I hope it's Sasuke-kun!"

Neji smirked, 'Like Uchiha would be caught dead at the auction.'

"Eh? Really?!"

"Yup. I heard they couldn't get Sasuke-kun to be sold, so they tricked Uzumaki Naruto into doing it instead."

"It doesn't matter though...even though Naruto's not Sasuke-kun, we could use him as an excuse to follow Sasuke-kun around!"

"Yeah! What a great idea!"

As the two girls hurried away, Neji got up and dusted himself off. He suddenly had the urge to go attend the auction. Sasuke nearly knocked Neji off balance as he rushed off in the direction of the auction. Neji could have sworn he heard him mutter, "What am I doing? Why am I coming here?"

Neji watched as Sasuke ran off. "Hmm...this could prove to be interesting."

'And there was Naruto in the bargain, so it would be worth seeing.'

Neji walked off in the direction of the auction.

Shikamaru overheard people talking about an auction, with Naruto in it. 'What a troublesome idiot. But being the friend that I am...I guess I'll just have to save him...How troublesome." Shikamaru slouched off in the direction of the auction and Hinata peeked out from behind a tree, "N-Naruto-kun's in the auction?"

She blushed furiously, 'N-Naruto-kun's my friend...so, I should help him...right?'

Besides, she would be able to spend a day with the boy she had liked for so long.

Gaara stared blankly at the crowd of people that were steadily making their way to the auction. He had to admit, he missed that loud, idiotic blond kid who had beaten him and saved him. 'I want to be friends.'

Gaara hopped off the tree, "Friends...with benefits."

He smirked at the thought of having Naruto with him for a whole day. "Perfect."

Naruto frowned as he recognized the faces sitting below in the crowd, 'Great, now I'm gonna be sold and everyone (especially Uchiha) gets to laugh. I ask again, can this day get any worse?'

Sakura walked up to the stage, dressed up in pink for Valentine's day. "Hi everybody! This is the event organized by Team 7, THE AUCTION!!"

Sakura snuck a look at the blond moron, 'Y'know...he actually looks half-decent now, redressed, and polished up. Maybe we can pull this off without too many problems. Can't lose to Ino-PIG.'

Sakura glared at the blond pony-tailed girl sitting in the front row, waving in an evilly cheerful way. Almost as if she was mocking her for even thinking that Naruto would sell. Sakura doubted that too, but maybe if she set the price really low...people would think about buying him.

She tapped the podium with her mallet, "Okay, up for bid today we have Uzumaki Naruto! Everyone knows him, (how could you not?) and now you have the chance to own him for a day! Yup, you heard me....a FULL day! He's been specially dressed up so that he can look his best, and the bidding will start at: 100 yen (around 1 dollar)!"

Naruto jumped up from his seat and whined, "Sakura-chan~! I'm worth less than a vending machine drink!"

That's true, vending machine drinks cost 110 yen at their cheapest...lol...

"Do I hear 101 yen? Anyone?"

Neji raised his hand, "110!"

Sasuke, "120!"

Gaara was about to say something, before he realized that he had no money. Damn.

The bids went on, and Naruto's eyes grew wide. Not only were Hyuga Neji and Uchiha bidding for him....but others were bidding for him too, Shikamaru, Hinata, and some shadowy guy with red...eyes...ITACHI!! EHH?! What's he doing here?

Lol, this is sort of making fun of any and all Naruto x Someone pairings, so...yeah...

Bidders slowly dropped out though, as the price rose, 1 000 000 000 yen, from Neji.

Sasuke glared at the silver-eyed guy, "You don't have that kind of money to waste."

"Neither do you, Uchiha. He's mine, back off."

"Whatever."

"1 000 000 001 yen!" was shouted as Sasuke and Neji sparred verbally.

"1 000 000 001 yen going once, twice, and sold to the gentleman with the scar!"

Everyone looked up simultaneously, "Iruka-sensei?!"

Both the fighting boys stopped immediately, "What?!"

"Naruto! How could you be so irresponsible? Who knows what kind of pervert would have bought you! And then what would you have done, huh?"

"Uhh...Iruka-sensei...where did you get all that money?"

"Eh? I borrowed it from Kakashi. All I had to do was sign...Shit!"

The dark-haired teacher glared at the silver-haired teacher who waved in response. "I can't believe I just signed my weekend away to that Kakashi!!"

Iruki stormed off, leaving Naruto behind. Naruto scratched his head, "So, does that mean I can go now?"

Both Neji and Sasuke grabbed him at the same time, "No. You're coming to the dance with me."

They acted very maturely as the tugged Naruto back and forth, "Hey, I was the last highest bidder!"

"No you weren't! Iruka-sensei was, and he wouldn't want Naruto following you around."

The tug of war continued for some time, until Naruto decided to just go with both of them. But in the process of the dance, they lost Neji. Sasuke inwardly smirked. He had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Neji was now holding his shin in pain. Nope, nothing to do with it at all.

Sasuke pulled Naruto away from the crowd. "Sasuke! Where're we going?"

"Here."

Sasuke stopped at a tree, and an uncharacteristic blush painted his pale visage, "I just wanted to tell you that if Iruka-sensei hadn't bid higher than me...I would have spent every last penny on getting you."

It took a while for what Sasuke was saying to sink into his mind, and Naruto blushed wildly as well.

Which caused Sasuke to look away to hide his darkening blush. "W-why are you blushing, dobe?"

"W-Why are you blushing?"

"That's none of your business, DOBE."

"W-well it's none of your business either, BASTARD-SASUKE."

"Che."

Naruto's eye twitched, "Kono, bakayarou!"

Even through all their name-calling and bickering, both had the feeling that they were going to enjoy the coming Valentine's day. Together.

Here is the little song that started this idea:

Naruto for sale, everyone wants him
Naruto for sale, ya might wanna try your luck
Neji, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Ino, Itachi, Gaara, everyone wants him
Naruto for sale, everyone wants him

**Originally, the name list had been longer, but then iyo found that it was getting to long and she was running out of air so she stopped.

Now, that sucked. It actually turned out differently than from what I had planned...Whatever, not like I had actually planned it. It's now 5:00 am in the morning....Dead tired, will go to sleep now or else I might fall asleep in the middle of law class. Hope you people enjoyed reading this. Toodles. Oh, and review and tell me what you thought, even if you want to flame...do...whatever...*yawn*

iyo