Disclaimer: I own nuthin
Summary: It's 10 Years after Jess left and he finds an old picture of Rory and begins to think about her again. Will his love make itself known again?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He walked into his apartment and threw his keys in the bowl next to the door, where they were meant to go. He personally thought it was crazy to have a special place for keys because then you couldn't lose them like everyone else and go into a frenzy and have a horrible day and be able to tell people it was all they keys fault. His horrible days were just horrible. There was no way to explain them, they just sucked.
He looked into the fridge, in hopes of finding something eatable, but failed. He was going to have to order in. He turned to get his phone when he noticed his living room. It was a train wreck to say the least. He sighed and went back to finding the phone that seemed to be lost in the endless piles of trash and whatnot. He noticed the phone's cradle and that there was an unread message. He pushed the button and continued searching.
"Hey sweetie, it's me. I just wanted to remind you about packing up your stuff tonight! I'll see you tomorrow!!! Can't wait for the big day, can you? Love you, sweetie!" She hung up the phone. He was getting married in two days to a beautiful woman named, Karen. Her father was rich and most people accused Jess of liking her only because of that reason. This of course, was far from true. She was a sweet woman who adored him and he adored her....
"Guess I should start with the bedroom." He headed off to his bedroom, but stopped when he realized he still had to order food. He ordered a pizza and then went to his bedroom. There was a ton of stuff all over his desk that had to go. *now for a box...* he searched and searched, finally finding one in his closet. There was some stuff already in it. He almost dismissed it, but then his eye fell on the side of the box. He looked closer and brushed the dust off. It read: Rory. He felt around the box and pulled out a book. He smiled, Oliver Twist....
Dodger
That was the nickname that she had given to him. It had made him feel special. Like whenever she called him that, there was no one else in the world. Just the two of them. The next thing he pulled out was a CD that read: Jess and Rory's Mix. He didn't remember her ever giving this to him.....She had given this box to Luke 2 years after he had left Stars Hollow without a word to anyone. She had been moving and found his old stuff and wanted him to have it, even after all this time. He, himself had been moving when Luke had sent it to him....there were so many boxes in his living room that day and he really didn't have time to deal with it. He figured it was his old stuff, but he never knew she had added some things to it. That is, until now.
He never HAD actually gone through it, he had just scribbled the name "Rory" on the box and put it with the other boxes, thinking he would go through it later.....but he didn't. The box was accidentally put at the top of his closet along with other boxes and it just...got pushed further and further into the back of the closet with time, never once entering his mind. He had completely forgotten about it by the time he was done unpacking.
He got up and placed the cd in his Cd player, very curious as to what was on it.
I want you
I don't want to sleep, go on and speak
Wearing out the carpet with my feet
And i want you
I want you
You don't know how bad you've got me hooked
I hate myself 'cause you don't like my looks
I want you
I want you
Oh ah, oh ah
I want you
Everything's still playing in my head
I'm twisting and i'm crying in my bed
I want you Yeah, i want you
It's not fair
I should be there too With you
Here i am still trying to erase
Everything, your voice, your smile, your face
I want you
Yeah, i want you
Oh ah, oh ah
I want you
'cause i want you Yeah, i want you
His brow furrowed as he pictured her lying in her bed at night, crying over him. His image turned into just her face. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, tears forcefully streamed down her face as she looked down at a picture of them. He had never asked Luke how she took it, the fact that he just left without saying anything....sort of like a whisper on a summer breeze. Apparently, she hadn't taken it so well.
He always hated leaving her like he did. But he never really thought he had a choice. He knew one day she would wake up and realize that he wasn't good enough for her. And that he was just a screw up that would never amount to anything. He couldn't take it....so he left.
He never really forgot about her...but she was suddenly pushed to the back of his mind kind of like the box that was pushed to the back of his closet, when he met Karen. He knew he had to forget Rory and move on, and so he did. He felt bad...he never once called her...and actually TALK to her. He had called a couple of times soon after he reached California. He called on her graduation day, wanting, if anything, to tell her congratulations and good luck at Yale.....but what he got to do instead, was listen to her tell him how much he screwed up....and he already knew all of it.
The next song began to play.
It's been five months since you went away Left without a word and nothing to say
When I was the one who gave you my heart and soul
But it wasn't good enough for you, no
So I asked God
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry God send me an angel To wipe the tears from my eyes
And I know it might sound crazy
But after all that I still love you
You wanna come back in my life
But now there is something I have to do
I have to tell the one that I once adored
That they can't have my love no more
Cause my heart can't take no more lies
And my eyes are all out of cries
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes Now you had me on my knees
Begging God please to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
You made me feel like I could not breathe
Now all I wanted to do was to feel your touch
And give you all my love
But you took my love for granted
Want my lovin' now
But you can't have it
God
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
For bein in love.
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes
Oh God, send me (God send me an angel)
An angel (wipe the tears from my eyes) Oh baby Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel (God send me an angel)
From being in love (send me an angel)
Oh God, send me an angel Send me an angel (send me an angel)
Ooohhhh..
As he continued to listen to the cd, he picked up the cd case and a piece of paper fell out. It read
Dear Jess,
You probably don't remember this CD...and that would be because I made half of it for you right after you left and then the last half just before I had Luke send this box to you. I don't have a reason why you just up and left me, but I want you to know that I meant what I said the day of my graduation...I did love you....and I think I still do. Some called me crazy when I told them, some called me stupid...but I ignored them. You were my first true love and you will always remain that, because frankly, Jess, I can't get over you. It's not possible. I'm not going to go around and pretend that I am, only to come home and cry for you. You taught me to love, without knowing it. You hurt me, but sometimes love hurts. The picture in the box, is one that Kirk took of us one day without us knowing it. It was for his film class or something. I love you, Jess Mariano. I always have, and I always will.
With all my love,
Rory
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired
But I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
Funny how I feel so much
But cannot say a word
We are screaming inside
Oh...but we can't be heard
Chorus
So afraid to love you
More afraid to lose
Clinging to a past
that doesn't let me choose
But once there was a darkness
A deep and endless night
Gave me everything you had
Oh...you gave me light
He rummaged around in the box for the picture and was finally successful....they were sleeping on the bridge, holding one another. A book laying on his chest. He remembered this day. She had asked him to read to her and then they all of a sudden had fallen asleep. It had started to rain and it woke him up, but he had just laid there enjoying the moment with Rory. He gave her his coat, leaving him in only a t-shirt. When she finally woke up, she was soaked and shivering. But he was no doubtedly worse and ended up with a terrible cold. She always felt bad for it, but he told her it was no big deal.
Then his eyes fell across another picture of them. He had seen this one before. It was at Kyle's house, he hadn't been very happy that day, but let Rory have their picture taken none the less. She had told him that even though he had had a bad day, that he should just think about how much he loved her and the smile would come in thinking of that.
This picture sent a flood of memories back into his mind that he had almost forgotten. It had been the day he had flunked out of school, and everything changed. That was when the fight started, the day he pushed her too far, the day he fought with Dean, that was the day before Jimmy came, a couple days before he left Stars Hollow for good.
Tears flooded into his eyes and down onto his cheeks. He was once a happy guy...well as happy as Jess Mariano could be. Then he had to go screw everything up....he looked at his life now. He pretended to be happy with Karen...she was nice enough. But he had never really figured out why he didn't love her as much as she loved him. Now he knew.
He was still in love with Rory Gilmore. His heart jumped at this newly released information....but then sank again in the memory of Karen and that in two days from now...he would be a married man. He stared at the picture of him and Rory once again...He stood up and searched all over his desk. Throwing papers all over the floor. There. He found it. He picked it up and then picked up the picture of himself and Rory. He compared the two. In one hand, he held a picture of himself and Karen. He was smiling, but it was a forced smile...the smile wasn't showing how much he loved her. In the other hand, he held the picture of himself and Rory. Though he hadn't been happy that day, he had shown his love for her through his smile...
He had to get a drink of water and think more about this. He stood up and left the two pictures in his room as he went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. He brought the glass to the couch and sat down staring straight ahead. The phone began to ring. He didn't want to answer...he didn't think that he could. Besides, he didn't even know where the stupid phone was.
"Hey, this is Jess, leave me one." His voice echoed through the emtpy apartment. The person began to leave a message.
"Hey sweetie, it's me again! Where are you? You should be home by now. Well, call me when you get in ok? My parents came into town tonight and they can't wait to meet you! Oh! I'm just so excited, Jess!! I can't wait till our big day! Love you!" She hung up. Jess stared at the answering machine. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't marry her and end up unhappy one day and constantly blame himself for not doing what he should have done before they got married.
He searched frantically for the phone and after about ten minutes, he found it. He dialed a familiar number. She answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Karen, it's me." His voice was slow and steady.
"Hey, sweetie!!"
"Hey...listen...I umm...we need to talk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hey guys! I hope you liked this! I know it's not completely original.....anyway, I'm not sure if I want to add another chapter or not or if I just want to leave it here. If I do add another chapter, I will only add one more chapter....so I dunno yet. Just depends I guess. Do me a HUGE favor and review!!!!
1st song: Want you by the Bangles
2nd song: Angel by Amanda Perez
3rd song: I will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
Summary: It's 10 Years after Jess left and he finds an old picture of Rory and begins to think about her again. Will his love make itself known again?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He walked into his apartment and threw his keys in the bowl next to the door, where they were meant to go. He personally thought it was crazy to have a special place for keys because then you couldn't lose them like everyone else and go into a frenzy and have a horrible day and be able to tell people it was all they keys fault. His horrible days were just horrible. There was no way to explain them, they just sucked.
He looked into the fridge, in hopes of finding something eatable, but failed. He was going to have to order in. He turned to get his phone when he noticed his living room. It was a train wreck to say the least. He sighed and went back to finding the phone that seemed to be lost in the endless piles of trash and whatnot. He noticed the phone's cradle and that there was an unread message. He pushed the button and continued searching.
"Hey sweetie, it's me. I just wanted to remind you about packing up your stuff tonight! I'll see you tomorrow!!! Can't wait for the big day, can you? Love you, sweetie!" She hung up the phone. He was getting married in two days to a beautiful woman named, Karen. Her father was rich and most people accused Jess of liking her only because of that reason. This of course, was far from true. She was a sweet woman who adored him and he adored her....
"Guess I should start with the bedroom." He headed off to his bedroom, but stopped when he realized he still had to order food. He ordered a pizza and then went to his bedroom. There was a ton of stuff all over his desk that had to go. *now for a box...* he searched and searched, finally finding one in his closet. There was some stuff already in it. He almost dismissed it, but then his eye fell on the side of the box. He looked closer and brushed the dust off. It read: Rory. He felt around the box and pulled out a book. He smiled, Oliver Twist....
Dodger
That was the nickname that she had given to him. It had made him feel special. Like whenever she called him that, there was no one else in the world. Just the two of them. The next thing he pulled out was a CD that read: Jess and Rory's Mix. He didn't remember her ever giving this to him.....She had given this box to Luke 2 years after he had left Stars Hollow without a word to anyone. She had been moving and found his old stuff and wanted him to have it, even after all this time. He, himself had been moving when Luke had sent it to him....there were so many boxes in his living room that day and he really didn't have time to deal with it. He figured it was his old stuff, but he never knew she had added some things to it. That is, until now.
He never HAD actually gone through it, he had just scribbled the name "Rory" on the box and put it with the other boxes, thinking he would go through it later.....but he didn't. The box was accidentally put at the top of his closet along with other boxes and it just...got pushed further and further into the back of the closet with time, never once entering his mind. He had completely forgotten about it by the time he was done unpacking.
He got up and placed the cd in his Cd player, very curious as to what was on it.
I want you
I don't want to sleep, go on and speak
Wearing out the carpet with my feet
And i want you
I want you
You don't know how bad you've got me hooked
I hate myself 'cause you don't like my looks
I want you
I want you
Oh ah, oh ah
I want you
Everything's still playing in my head
I'm twisting and i'm crying in my bed
I want you Yeah, i want you
It's not fair
I should be there too With you
Here i am still trying to erase
Everything, your voice, your smile, your face
I want you
Yeah, i want you
Oh ah, oh ah
I want you
'cause i want you Yeah, i want you
His brow furrowed as he pictured her lying in her bed at night, crying over him. His image turned into just her face. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, tears forcefully streamed down her face as she looked down at a picture of them. He had never asked Luke how she took it, the fact that he just left without saying anything....sort of like a whisper on a summer breeze. Apparently, she hadn't taken it so well.
He always hated leaving her like he did. But he never really thought he had a choice. He knew one day she would wake up and realize that he wasn't good enough for her. And that he was just a screw up that would never amount to anything. He couldn't take it....so he left.
He never really forgot about her...but she was suddenly pushed to the back of his mind kind of like the box that was pushed to the back of his closet, when he met Karen. He knew he had to forget Rory and move on, and so he did. He felt bad...he never once called her...and actually TALK to her. He had called a couple of times soon after he reached California. He called on her graduation day, wanting, if anything, to tell her congratulations and good luck at Yale.....but what he got to do instead, was listen to her tell him how much he screwed up....and he already knew all of it.
The next song began to play.
It's been five months since you went away Left without a word and nothing to say
When I was the one who gave you my heart and soul
But it wasn't good enough for you, no
So I asked God
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry God send me an angel To wipe the tears from my eyes
And I know it might sound crazy
But after all that I still love you
You wanna come back in my life
But now there is something I have to do
I have to tell the one that I once adored
That they can't have my love no more
Cause my heart can't take no more lies
And my eyes are all out of cries
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes Now you had me on my knees
Begging God please to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
You made me feel like I could not breathe
Now all I wanted to do was to feel your touch
And give you all my love
But you took my love for granted
Want my lovin' now
But you can't have it
God
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
For bein in love.
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes
Oh God, send me (God send me an angel)
An angel (wipe the tears from my eyes) Oh baby Send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel (God send me an angel)
From being in love (send me an angel)
Oh God, send me an angel Send me an angel (send me an angel)
Ooohhhh..
As he continued to listen to the cd, he picked up the cd case and a piece of paper fell out. It read
Dear Jess,
You probably don't remember this CD...and that would be because I made half of it for you right after you left and then the last half just before I had Luke send this box to you. I don't have a reason why you just up and left me, but I want you to know that I meant what I said the day of my graduation...I did love you....and I think I still do. Some called me crazy when I told them, some called me stupid...but I ignored them. You were my first true love and you will always remain that, because frankly, Jess, I can't get over you. It's not possible. I'm not going to go around and pretend that I am, only to come home and cry for you. You taught me to love, without knowing it. You hurt me, but sometimes love hurts. The picture in the box, is one that Kirk took of us one day without us knowing it. It was for his film class or something. I love you, Jess Mariano. I always have, and I always will.
With all my love,
Rory
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired
But I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
Funny how I feel so much
But cannot say a word
We are screaming inside
Oh...but we can't be heard
Chorus
So afraid to love you
More afraid to lose
Clinging to a past
that doesn't let me choose
But once there was a darkness
A deep and endless night
Gave me everything you had
Oh...you gave me light
He rummaged around in the box for the picture and was finally successful....they were sleeping on the bridge, holding one another. A book laying on his chest. He remembered this day. She had asked him to read to her and then they all of a sudden had fallen asleep. It had started to rain and it woke him up, but he had just laid there enjoying the moment with Rory. He gave her his coat, leaving him in only a t-shirt. When she finally woke up, she was soaked and shivering. But he was no doubtedly worse and ended up with a terrible cold. She always felt bad for it, but he told her it was no big deal.
Then his eyes fell across another picture of them. He had seen this one before. It was at Kyle's house, he hadn't been very happy that day, but let Rory have their picture taken none the less. She had told him that even though he had had a bad day, that he should just think about how much he loved her and the smile would come in thinking of that.
This picture sent a flood of memories back into his mind that he had almost forgotten. It had been the day he had flunked out of school, and everything changed. That was when the fight started, the day he pushed her too far, the day he fought with Dean, that was the day before Jimmy came, a couple days before he left Stars Hollow for good.
Tears flooded into his eyes and down onto his cheeks. He was once a happy guy...well as happy as Jess Mariano could be. Then he had to go screw everything up....he looked at his life now. He pretended to be happy with Karen...she was nice enough. But he had never really figured out why he didn't love her as much as she loved him. Now he knew.
He was still in love with Rory Gilmore. His heart jumped at this newly released information....but then sank again in the memory of Karen and that in two days from now...he would be a married man. He stared at the picture of him and Rory once again...He stood up and searched all over his desk. Throwing papers all over the floor. There. He found it. He picked it up and then picked up the picture of himself and Rory. He compared the two. In one hand, he held a picture of himself and Karen. He was smiling, but it was a forced smile...the smile wasn't showing how much he loved her. In the other hand, he held the picture of himself and Rory. Though he hadn't been happy that day, he had shown his love for her through his smile...
He had to get a drink of water and think more about this. He stood up and left the two pictures in his room as he went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. He brought the glass to the couch and sat down staring straight ahead. The phone began to ring. He didn't want to answer...he didn't think that he could. Besides, he didn't even know where the stupid phone was.
"Hey, this is Jess, leave me one." His voice echoed through the emtpy apartment. The person began to leave a message.
"Hey sweetie, it's me again! Where are you? You should be home by now. Well, call me when you get in ok? My parents came into town tonight and they can't wait to meet you! Oh! I'm just so excited, Jess!! I can't wait till our big day! Love you!" She hung up. Jess stared at the answering machine. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't marry her and end up unhappy one day and constantly blame himself for not doing what he should have done before they got married.
He searched frantically for the phone and after about ten minutes, he found it. He dialed a familiar number. She answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Karen, it's me." His voice was slow and steady.
"Hey, sweetie!!"
"Hey...listen...I umm...we need to talk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hey guys! I hope you liked this! I know it's not completely original.....anyway, I'm not sure if I want to add another chapter or not or if I just want to leave it here. If I do add another chapter, I will only add one more chapter....so I dunno yet. Just depends I guess. Do me a HUGE favor and review!!!!
1st song: Want you by the Bangles
2nd song: Angel by Amanda Perez
3rd song: I will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan