Author's Note: I hate Guns N' Roses, but ya gotta admit that this song rocks.

Disclaimer: I own the school; that is it.

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Prologue

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**

Welcome to the jungle

We've got fun and games
We got everything you want, honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey, we got your disease

**

So you're the new guy, eh?  Not bad.  You don't look like the type of kid to get sent in here, but I'm not one to judge that kind of thing. 

You already met Principal Snyder, I'm sure.  Asshole, ain't he?  Everyone knows it---just don't say it when he's around.  Just general common sense.  Right-o, I knew you'd understand.
 
          **

In the jungle

Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knees
I wanna watch you bleed

**

Guess I have to show you around, don't I?  We should probably start with the general introduction: it says here that your name is Mark David, but you aren't gonna survive here with a name like that.

Hmm?  Specs?  Guess that'll have to do.  Better than Mark, anyways ... I'm Jack Kelly and I ain't even gonna tell you my real name.  Yeah, it's that bad---stop chuckling, you'd have changed your name too if you were raised with a name like mine.  I shudder just thinking about it.

         **

Welcome to the jungle

We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed but it's the price to pay

**

Well let's get the hell outta this office, I can't stand this place.  Here, follow me.  See the big brick buildings out the window?  Those are the dorms---you'll be staying in one of 'em ... Says here that you're in the third building from the left---yeah, the one completely covered in ivy---on the third floor, room number 238.  Here's your key, don't lose it.

Alright ... here's your uniform.  Yeah, I know it's ugly.  I think they made it as hideous as possible on purpose, just to humiliate us.  Stop laughing, I'm dead serious!  God, kid, you giggle a lot.  You're gonna get along with Dutchy, I'll tell ya that much ...

         **

In the jungle

Welcome to the jungle
Feel my serpentine
I wanna hear you scream

**

We have seven classes a day.  A lot, I know.  Tight schedule; you have almost no time to get between your classes, and a lot of the classrooms are on the opposite sides of the school.  If you wanna survive here, ya gotta learn how to run.

Let's see ... yeah, I think I've covered everything I feel like going over right now.  They gave me this sheet with all of the information I'm supposed to tell you, but it's all pretty much bullshit so I'm gonna skip it and get to the point: this school is not fun.  Believe me.  I've been here for about a year and I've experienced just about everything there is to experience here.  Yeah, so maybe I broke a few rules ... I'm definitely not Snyder's favorite kid here, that's for sure.

Hmm, good point.  I don't think he really has a favorite kid, does he?

         **

Welcome to the jungle

It gets worse here every day
Ya learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play
If you hunger for what you see you'll take it eventually
You can have everything you want but you better not take it from me

**

Anyway, what I mean to say is---this is not an easy school to get through.  You've gotta make sure you stay clear of Snyder and keep a low profile when he's around, and then you've got your excruciatingly boring classes to worry about and the ... well, the rare verbal abuse from the teachers.

Nah, it never gets physical.

Well ... it hasn't for a while.  Not since last year.

Listen, I don't really wanna talk about it, ok?

Anyway---take your uniform and schedule---got your key?  Go and check out your room, Dutchy should be there---you're rooming with him, I think.  Number 238, third floor.  Yeah, alright, there ya go.  Good luck, kid, I'll see ya around. 

**

In the jungle

Welcome in the jungle

Watch it bring you to your knees

I wanna watch you bleed

**