Disclaimer: This is not JK Rowling. No one but JK Rowling owns the rights to Harry Potter. You do the math, smartass. ^_^
A/N: Dizaymn, the Harry Potter section gets updated so many times that I barely get any feedback. Unless that's just my writing..:/ Ah, well. Here's the next chapter.
Expediency Lies Bleeding
Hermione Granger, sixth year student at Hogwarts, prefect of Gryffindor, and all around over achieving witch, had seen many sights in her relatively short life. Living traps, three headed dogs, enormous dragons, Dark Lords reincarnated, soul-sucking monsters, you name it, Hermione had been confronted with them all. This shocked her beyond any of the aforementioned options by a long shot. This being, of course, Bellatrix Lestrange, the murderer of Sirius Black, standing naked as the day she was born in Hagrid's cabin. Not only was she not supposed to be anywhere near Hogwarts grounds, but on top of that, the woman was buck naked for crissakes! What on earth was Hermione supposed to do but utter some completely inane exclamation that stated what was already obvious? Utter she did, and she was met soundly with Bellatrix's snide nonchalance.
"Of course I'm naked, little witch. I had to apparate onto Hogwarts grounds." Bellatrix said this the way Muggles might say that they had to run down to grab a newspaper. Of course, Hermione pounced on that statement like she had pounced on every other fellow Hogwarts student who brought up the subject of apparation relating to Hogwarts.
"You can't apparate on or off Hogwarts grounds. Besides, what on earth could that possibly have to do with why you're naked? Wait..you weren't even naked before! I could have sworn you were wearing robes!"
Somehow, Hermione managed to sound condescending and baffled at the same time. Not many people could manage to do that in her position, but she supposed that was one of the perks of being herself. It was true though, the Gryffindor distinctly remembered the sensation of textured cloth against her own night gown.
"Yes you can, little witch, it just isn't exactly the simplest thing to do, now is it? I'm naked because I had to perform the apparation skyclad in order for me to be able to apparate onto Hogwarts grounds." Bellatrix was clearly amused now, and made no move to get out of Hermione's way. Instead, the tall woman raised her wand and pointed it in Hermione's direction.
"Expelliarmus."
Well. There went her wand, Hermione thought as she watched it soar through the small distance between her and Bellatrix with the air of a metallic object being attracted to a magnet. She might have had more of a chance holding on to it if she hadn't been busy trying to think of what performing "skyclad" meant. Skyclad? She hadn't learned the term in any of her classes, she was sure of it; maybe it was some arcane term used by dark wizards and witches. Although, there was a certain poetry to the term that wasn't present in most Dark Art terms that she knew of... Her lack of knowledge must have shown despite her best efforts to look all-knowing. Bellatrix raised a brow in a cynical cock, and managed to look natural in her nudity, something only achievable by people who had nothing lacking in physicality and knew it. 'The entire family is pretty damn arrogant and insufferable.' Hermione thought crossly to herself.
"Don't they teach you anything at Hogwarts? I must confess, it was my belief that wizardry is going to the dogs, as you Muggles say it, but I had no idea...Very well, attend." For a moment, Hermione knew what it felt like to be on one of the receiving ends of her famous lectures. No one had ever made her feel stupid before, and Bellatrix Lestrange of all people was managing it without even trying. Just bloody brilliant. If she got out of this alive, she swore she would never correct anybody again. Much, she silently amended.
"Performing spells skyclad is an ancient practice unique only to witches. This heightens their connection with nature and therefore, augments the power behind their spells. I know, it's all terribly crude, but it works. The spells on Hogwarts are extremely strong and this was the only way we could think of to accomplish it." Bellatrix fiddled while she spoke, toying with both wands in her slender hands. Hermione was oddly fascinated with it, but not fascinated enough that she missed the opportunity to learn something. "Even the Muggles who practice their diluted form of magic called Wicca know about this."
Her humiliation forgotten, Hermione shot off another issue.
"Yeah okay, that's all bloody well and good, but you weren't naked before!" Her tone was almost accusatory, and her chin stuck out as it always did when she was debating a point. Somehow she felt she was going to lose this one.
"Ah, that's my little secret, little witch." She started out in a smug character but then broke off, as if deciding to change her mind. In fact, she had changed her mind. "But since after we're done here tonight, you won't be able to talk to anybody about this meeting, let alone my secrets, why not?"
Hermione could have stated millions of reasons, but kept her mouth shut for once. Waiting for Bellatrix to continue, she got up and ran two hands down the front of her robe, as if brushing some imaginary dirt away.
"I believe you are acquainted with my supposed niece, Nymphadora?"
Bellatrix sniffed slightly before she said the name and Hermione remembered that Tonks' mother Andromeda was no longer considered a member of the Black family because she had married a Muggle-born wizard. Hermione rolled her eyes. Please...she was probably the last person to be coming to to whinge on about Muggles and how they were tainting the wizarding world. And if it was about the name, Hermione would concede that Nymphadora was a rather outlandish name, but come on, Bellatrix? This was no time to dwell on that though.
"Yes, she's simply lovely." Hermione said this as primly as possible.
It was Bellatrix's turn to roll her eyes, and she did so admirably attractively.
"I could care less about her personality, little witch. Tell me, what is she?"
That was it. Hermione exploded.
"Look here, Lestrange, if this has anything to do with Tonks being half-muggle you can take it and stuff it up your sanctimonious ass! For Christ's sakes just because she's-" She imagined she could have gone on for a while, ranting and raving like the portrait of Mrs. Black at Grimmauld Place, but unfortunately, Bellatrix cut her off.
"I don't mean to interrupt your crusade for better treatment of Muggles, or whatever you think you are saying, but I wasn't referring to the taint of her blood, little witch." Contrasting to Hermione's wrathful mood, the Death Eater seemed calm, unruffled. Which aggravated Hermione more. And made her feel stupid of course. If Bellatrix wasn't talking about the fact that Tonks wasn't a pureblood then what was she talking about?
"You are aware, of course, that Nymphadora is a Metamorphagus? Girl always did spend too much time flaunting it. Outlandish hair colors, that one." Stated Bellatrix almost conversationally, like the way one would say "isn't the weather nice out today?" or "fancy a cuppa?". Which was strange to Hermione, because last she had been aware, Tonks wasn't even acknowledged on the family tree and her mother, Andromeda, was nothing but a burnt hole in between Bellatrix and Narcissa, and here Bellatrix was talking like she had just been over for tea yesterday. At this point, Hermione could almost believe that she had. She made a mental note to ask Tonks about it, given the opportunity.
"Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?..." Hermione trailed off as where Bellatrix was now was Crookshanks. "Oh dear lord."
Thoughts ran through her head too horrible to comprehend. Had Bellatrix been posing as Crookshanks all along? What about all the things she had told her orange cat? Whatever happened next, Hermione Granger had to find out.
"So..i-it's been you all along then?" Her voice was quavery, pathetic in even her hearing, and she hated it.
Bellatrix was back to her normal form again, but she was robed in the customary black witch's robes.
"No, that was just an example. I was merely trying to point out that I was naked before, I merely metamorphosed into myself wearing robes. When I fell on you I lost control and reverted back to my natural form, if you will. I am also, in case you are particularly dense, a Metamorphagus like my niece, although I have kept it a secret since it proves valuable quite often."
Hermione could have fainted. Damn it, she was going to faint and no one was going to stop her. For the first time that night, Hermione won a battle. With herself of course, which didn't bode well for her track record, but she didn't really have time to think about that as her knees buckled and she collapsed.