HOW WOULD CAPTIAN WIDDERSHINS EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?

A huge man with a diving suit with Herman Melville on the front opened the door and squeezed into the room. He had a mustache that curled up at the corners like a pair of parenthesis.

"Aye! Come on everybody, let's go back to the Queequeg! Aye! Don't hesitate! He who hesitates is lost!"

There was silence, and then Captain Widdershins shrugged and went over to the table and the bowl of Reese's Cups. He looked inside and cried, "Whoever wants candy, come here! Come quickly! Don't think about hesitating! Because then you'll be lost! Aye! Because he who hesitates is lost! Aye!"

Captain Widdershins didn't bother to wait to find out if more people wanted the candy. Instead, without hesitation, he grabbed one of the candies, unwrapped it and ate it. Then he grabbed another, and another and pretty soon, without hesitating, he had eaten all the candy.

Then he patted his stomach happily. "Yum." He sighed.

Then he looked around and called "Anyone here? Aye! Where's my other crewmember? Phil? Come here! Don't hesitate! Do you know why you shouldn't hesitate? Because then you'll be lost! Aye! He who hesitates is lost! Aye!"

The last 'Aye!' echoed in the room and Captain Widdershins gave a sad sigh. "I'll just find my way back to the Queequeg myself!" He decided. "I can't wait around for Phil! I can't hesitate! Aye! He who hesitates is lost!"

I'm sorry to tell you that the captain's personal philosophy is not always correct. And this is one of those times. If the Captain had hesitated before eating the candy, he would have heard someone calling his name, and if he had waited before leaving the room, he would have met that someone, and preventing a disaster.

HOW WOULD FIONA WIDDERSHINS EAT A REESE'S CUP?

Fiona walked into the room and sighed. She missed the Baudelaires. Especially Klaus. But they were wrong to expect her to follow them. They should understand that she wanted to stay with her brother.

She spied the bowl of Reese's Cups and walked over. She picked one up and unwrapped it. Then she looked at the ingredients. "Peanut butter!" She cried. "I'm allergic to that gross stuff!"

She sighed and began to pick off bits of the chocolate and eat it, first making sure it had not peanut butter on it. It was dangerous, and she could still get an allergic reaction, but she was hungry and didn't care that much.

"People are like Reese's Cups." She thought. "Not all good or all bad. They have good parts and bad parts."

Then she looked at the ingredients again. "Why, this candy has some ingredients that are perfect for growing a Glowing Sporium, a kind of mushroom noted for it's ability to glow-it-the-dark.

Then she left the room, carrying all the candies with her, hoping to grow a ton of mushrooms to study and to hopefully make into medicines.

HOW WOULD THE FAMOUS TAP-DANCING FAIRY PRINCESS VETERARIAN EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTER CUP?

The famous tap-dancing fairy princess veterinarian waltzed into the room in a pink tutu. She smiled and spun until she got dizzy and tripped over the table, landing on the floor.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!" She cried. "Essssmmmmeee!" But there was no answer.

"Humpf." The famous tap-dancing fairy princess veterinarian pouted. Then she stood up and saw the bowl with the Reese's Cups in it.

"Yummmmy!" She cried. "I feel a song coming on!"

And she began to sing, in her horribly off-key, high, squeaky voice.

"R is for really yummy!

E is for exceptional

E is also for enjoyable

S is for super

E is for xylophone and

S is for sugary!"

The famous tap-dancing fairy princess veterinarian curtsied three times then grabbed a candy. "Can veterinarians eat candy?" She wondered. Then she smiled greedily and said, "They can if I want them to!" Then she unwrapped it and ate it rather messily. She also unwrapped the rest and ate all of them to. Then she danced out of the room.

HOW WOULD FERNALD aka HOOKY aka THE HOOK-HANDED MAN EAT A REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP?

A man with two hooks for hands walked into the room. He sighed to himself. "I just can't decide if I should escape with the Baudelaires and Fiona."

Then he saw the Reese's cups in the bowl. He stabbed one with his hook and unwrapped it with his mouth. He'd gotten used to using his mouth a lot.

"I know how I'll decide!" He said brightly.

"I'll go with the Fiona," and he took a small bite. Then he said, "I'll stay with Olaf," and he took another bite, "I'll go", "I'll stay", "I'll go"

And he continued this until there was only one bite left, "I'll stay," he said, and then he took the last bite. He stared at his empty hook and said decidedly, " I'll go with Fiona."

Just then, he heard Count Olaf's voice calling, "Hooky! Come on! Your sister's decided to join us and capture the Baudelaires! Muahahaha sniggle fortune! Hahahahaha!"

"I guess I'm going to be with Fiona, and stay with Olaf." Fernald said, and hurried out the door.

REVIEWER NOTES

KittyWillow- Did you get my e-mail? I wrote to tell you how sorry I am about your poor bunny. Have you gotten a new bunny? I hope you're happier now, since it was a long time ago that you wrote the review about your bunny. If you do get a new bunny, name her Pearl, after me. Hee hee. Anyway, have you seen the new movie yet? It's ….interesting.

Leigh A. Sumpter- Thanks for reviewing! Here are the eleventh book characters!

Katrina Quagmire- I'm glad you thought it was funny. I try my best. I hope there are lots of new characters in the 12th book for me to do. And I hope they talk more about Kit, because there wasn't enough info about her for me to do a really good job with her.

Coffee Luv, Axe-r of MarySues – I LOVE your new name! I love reading and writing Mary Sue parodies. I have the perfect Mary Sue (that's kinda redundant). Her name is Celeste, and everybody's obsessed with her silvery-blue eyes. Gag.

VisualPurple- Hey S! I can't believe Winter Break is over! Aaaiiiii! The pain! It's too much! And midterms are coming up. Soon. Keep writing your story! I like it a lot! And look whom I put on my favorite author's list.

Ooga- Yup snow gnats. I know it's really random. So sue me. Actually, don't.

Book Anaconda in the Rain- You have a really random name. Does it mean anything? I hate low sugar Hershey kisses. They're disgusting! But actually I think low carb strawberry yogurt is really good, I don't know why.

RandomPyRoPerson- Yeah, this story certainly makes you really want to eat something chocolately and peanut butter-y. Yum, yum. Every Halloween I also try to get as many Reese's Cups as I can. Then I put it in my candy drawer.

Griffin14- I like griffins. They're cool. Actuality, that's how you spell it. Yeah, I miss the commercials too. I don't know what happened to them! My favorite was Count Dracula. 'I like to eat the peanut butter first.' And there were tooth marks in the candy. That was so cool. Yeah, it's a pretty weird story.

Violet Baudelaire- You're back! Yeah! I missed your reviews! Here's the GG one for you.

KaoriRose- Glad you liked it. What's you name mean? It's really cool.

Andrew Tomas Green- This is actually probably the easiest story to write. I just really think about the characters, and the ideas come to me. I'm glad you liked it.

Arden c. Evans- That would be really cool if I could write TV commercials, but I don't think they'd let me. I would be cool if Daniel Handler, I mean Lemony Snicket went on fanfiction and read our stories. One person actually got a review from an anonymous person named Lemony Snicket and it said something like 'This story is not the true account of my Beatrice.' But it probably wasn't him.

Elvengirl9- I like elves. Have you read Lord of the Rings? Or seen the movies? The next series of Unfortunate Events book already came out. It's called the Grim Grotto.

FionaRox- Cool name. I agree. I don't get it. Why would Fiona use hairspray? Please explain.

Queenofinsanity- Ok, I did GG characters. Be happy! Yeah!

I Love to Laugh (Hahahahaha)- that song from Merry Poppins is really funny and weird. I wish I could float. Glad you liked my story.

Chitoryu12- Thanks for the profiles. I decided not to use Kit in this story because I don't know enough about her.

Astrid Poodle- ouch. It must hurt to trip over a table. That would be really scary to get attacked by leeches. I went swimming in a leech-infested lake, and my Mom said not to touch the ground too much because that's where the leeches are. None of us got leeches stuck on us.

Chibi millennia Phantom- What's your name mean? How would I eat a Reese's? One time I used small cookie cutters and pressed them into the candy. Then I got tree shaped Reese's Cups! Everyone needs to eat a healthy supply of randomness. Or they can just read my story. That has a week's supply of randomness.

Baudelaire addict- Thanks for the profile. Hmmmm, maybe I'll do a chapter of animals. I could to the lions, snakes, crows and eagles. It'll be harder then doing people though. A ghost couldn't eat candy, though. I should to the guy at the Last Chance General Store. Thanks for the suggestions. Do you write any stories? If you have, give me your pen name.