Hello, er... Whatever… yes… anyways! Thank you for clicking the title to read this fic, I hope that this fic will be worth your time ^^*honestly hopes*

Saa… this is a… different kind of fic I guess… its, interesting…

Well, enjoy!

Hygiene Anyone?

By: Aera-chan

Anime: Yugioh!

Genre: Romance/Humor (haven't written a humor fic in forever)

Posted: 03-26/04

Parings: Kaiba/Joey

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I slowly slip the rim of my boxers over my hips, allowing them to fall, pooling around my bare feet.

Maybe a hot shower will clear my head, I'm so stressed right now. I wish there was a way to burn all of it away, all these damn feelings, these sick, disgusting, and above all, confusing feelings. Not only feelings, but thoughts. Disgusting ones. Ones that make me want to throw up, or jump off of Kaiba Corps. tallest tower. What a fall that would be. Its some 50 stories high.

I cant believe Mokuba talked me into this, into inviting them. More specifically, Yugi and his idiotic friends.

Especially that one, the mutt, he's the stupidest, most moronic of all of them. He's always going on like he's better than me, ha! Better than me? He should get his head checked. He is the lowest, most detestable thing I have ever had the displeasure of stepping on.

He makes me so mad. With his annoying accent, and that messy nest that he calls hair. And his clothes, ick! I mean I guess his jeans are okay, but that nasty green jacket he always wears… somebody call the fashion police. He's finally ditched it though, thank god! But still, that t-shirt he wears now, too baggy. A muscle shirt or a tank top would be better, more form fitting…

Ack! There they are again! Those thoughts. I do not like Joey Wheeler! I hate him… don't I? Of course, of course I hate him. I've always hated him. He's so…

My head hurts… I don't care anyways… I don't feel anything for anybody, and so I don't even need to dwell on something of such insignificance.

Correct? Correct.

Still… I cant help but feel a little aroused by the thought of Joey in actual tight clothes…

Maybe I've been working too much lately. Maybe I'm losing it. Yeah, I'm definitely losing it…

'Cause I think I getting a hard on just thinking about that stupid dog!

"Yeah, I'm losing it. Case settled." I mumble out loud. I'm a loony.

I was just about to turn the water on when I heard a click of the doorknob being turned. The door opened. I didn't do anything, all I did was hide behind the curtain of the shower like a little scared child. I cant believe I forgot to lock it… wait, its probably the other door, yeah, I forgot to lock it, then again, I'm not used to guests.

Hopefully its Mokuba, then I can tell him that I'm taking a shower. Then he'll stroll off casually yawning an apology. I need to work on that with him. He's polite, but he still has far to go, I guess it helps to have parents around now doesn't it?

Suddenly the door hinges creak signaling that its being shut, the lock clicks. I'm in deep shit, wait, this is my house. I get first dibs damnit!

But what if its that Tea girl, I'd feel so embarrassed if she saw me naked and vise versa. She'd call me a pervert and would never let it down. Damn. Then I'd have to tell her that I'm not even into girls, that I'm into…

Wait, when did I decide that? I don't even like guys. I just don't like anyone, period.

I was ready to scream something along the lines of, "Get the hell out of here! I'm taking a shower, damnit!" when I heard humming. Familiar humming.

Oh shit, I can feel myself hardening at the thought.

Damn, Joey, that stupid mutt, is in my bathroom, I'm naked, who knows what he's wearing! And I've got the most visible arousal I've ever had. Well, most likely that would be because I'm friggin stark naked!

Think, think. What should I do? I'm too afraid, heh, what a thought, me scared? Well I sure as hell am! Its not everyday the person you're having mixed feelings and issues over is gonna see you in your barest moment.

Well, if I was going to do anything, its too late now.

I can hear a soft thump hit the floor, I can only guess what that is. Hmn, lets think on that one, okay, so… 1. To take a shower properly, first you need to be, (a.) Fully clothed (b.) In an ice cream man's suit, or, (c.) NAKED!!

Okay, so I admit that thinking about the obvious and/or giving myself a multiple choice test in a time like this is probably not the best thing to do, I should be thinking about how to get myself out of this mess, but no, I have to be Mr. Obvious… wait, its quiet.

I listen for a few seconds, but I conclude that my troubles have passed, well that is until I hear a hand swipe back the curtains with such ferocity that I begin to wonder if 'Joey' is actually excited about taking a shower, that dirty mutt. Okay, bad thoughts, really very bad thoughts. What the hell am I doing??

I look up at my intruder.

Warm amber meets my cold blue ice.

The amber shrinks into small marbles in a sea of white foam.

"K-Kaiba?" He chokes out. Then my worst nightmare comes true, he glances down. Idiot. If my arms weren't dead or frozen or whatever they were at the moment, I would hit him right in the face for violating me like that. Stupid pervert.

Then I notice something, he's still looking at me.

What? Is he gay or something, or is it normal for him to check out other nude males?

Whatever it is, I don't want to know, so I decide to turn around and yell at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you Wheeler? Are you really that stupid? I was taking a shower in here." I said as calmly as a could, although I couldn't stop shaking in nervousness. After all, he had seen much more than I would ever have wanted him to see.

I glanced behind me, he was seething with anger and embarrassment. Ha! Dumb mutt.

"Well excuse me Mr. I don't lock doors! I didn't know you were even in here! And I'm not stupid, you are! You cant even lock the door or say your in here dumbass." he said, yelling to my back.

"This is my house after all, I can do whatever I like.

"Well excuse me for expecting you to be hospitable!" He raged at me.

"I guess I can let it slide." I said coolly from the little corner of the shower I hid my face in. Real cool, don't you think?

I could hear him sigh exasperatedly throwing his arms in the air in defeat. "You sure are the strange one there Kaiba."

"If I'm so strange, why don't you leave." I said, my voice icy. I glared back over my shoulder at him. I think he got the message.

He stepped back out of the shower and looked around for his clothes. He yelped. "Hey, where's my clothes? I left them right here!"

I stepped out of the shower, coming over to see what his stupidity had caused now. But of course I was smart, I grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it around my waist. I strategically placed my hands in front of myself, since I was still quite visible to the general public.

"They are probably…" I paused as I dropped a towel over his head. "…somewhere close. Its not like they could just walk off… but I don't know when it was the last time you actually washed your clothes so its entirely possible to consider them alive at this point…" I grunted as he punched me in the stomach.

"I do to wash my clothes and I take a shower everyday…stupid  jerk." He walked over towards the door.

He sure is funny when he's mad. Ha! 'Stupid Jerk'? That's all he could come up with? Hahahahaha! I win!

I watched as he unlocked the door and turned the handle. Wait, why isn't it turning when he's supposed to be turning it? Why is he grunting as he is practically trying to rip the whole thing off of the door? Why isn't it turning?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT?!?!

"Eh? Why wont it work?" He grunts and tries to re-lock it and work it. I push him to the side, trying the handle for myself. It wont turn.

Okay, now I'm panicking. I run over to the other door, trying that one.

It's the same… it's the same! IT'S THE SAME!!

Holy crap! I stuck in the same bathroom as HIM!!

To be continued…

_____________________________________________________________________________________

That was… interesting… Ne, please tell me what you thought, reviews are very much appreciated. ^^

This fic should only be 2 chapters long, maybe even a little bit of lime coming up, that is if I get brave enough to write it. ^^;; Hopefully chpt 2 will be as "interesting" as the first, I wrote the first chapter at least half a year ago… wow. I'm trying to post some of the fics I wrote awhile back. Hence one part will be very different from the first. Oh well.

Please review ^__^

-Aera