A/N: This is a sweet oneshot dedicated to Catty to make up for my bittersweet 'Fading Away'. It's my first songfic, and is to a song I haven't actually heard. If I Could Fall In Love by Lenny Kravitz.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
If I Could Fall In Love
Kagome leapt up and down, her long ebony hair flying all around her excited face. Her wounds, which were minor compared to the rest of her friends, were treated, but her miko shirt still contained bloodstains and tears.
The light from the large bonfire shone on her face and created an orange and golden glow on her excited and happy features.
"I can't believe we did it!" she repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.
The Buddhist monk stopped his tender care of the demon huntress to smile toward Kagome, and chuckled. "Yes, I've noticed Lady Kagome." Turning a serious gaze to Sango, Miroku quietly asked, "Does it hurt?"
Sango gave a weak smile, covering up her pain at the deep gash in her side and the sprained ankle. "No, Sir-Monk, I'm doing all right."
The taijiya looked up to the blood encrusted cat demon that was curled up against a pale Shippou. Both were sleeping soundly, the remaining energy of Kagome having gone straight to them to heal their injuries.
"Will they be okay?" She asked Miroku quietly, relishing the fact that the two could be so close without her worrying about his hands wandering'.
Violet eyes lit upon the smallest members of their group, "Yes, they'll survive. Kagome's miko powers are incredible, no? It's amazing how easily she's mastered them in the last four years."
Sango nodded eagerly and kept whispering. "Yeah, it is. I can't believe it's been four years!" she sighed melancholy, "It took so long, so much of all of our lives."
"True, but we lived through it. We're extremely lucky," he stood up, his bandaging job done, and positioned himself next to his fiancée. Placing a gentle -now air hole-less- hand over her sliced up one, he settled with his back against a tree.
"I know," Sango murmured, her soft magenta eyes watching her best friend, the young miko. "Kagome's duty is done."
The elder female watched the younger one. Kagome had grown over the years. She was a few inches taller, thanks to a late growth spurt, and her charcoal tresses now reached her waist easily. The ex-schoolgirl's face and body showed the maturity of the years, yet she still had the softened facial features of youth, and she retained her unbounded color and spirit. Having grown out of her school uniform at least two years before, she now wore something similar to miko robes, but all blood red.
She was beautiful.
Growing up hadn't madeher look more like Kikyou, but more like Kagome.
Leaning a weary head on the monk's shoulder, Sango closed her eyes. The battle that had lasted all that day had made everyone exhausted. Miroku joined her, happy to rest his tired body.
Up in a nearby tree, unseen by all the others, was another who watched the young priestess.
His golden eyes flashed as Inuyasha rested his heavily wounded body and scarred heart. His lips curved into a smirk, almost a small smile, as Kagome laughed and twirled around in victory, the fire dancing with her.
Thoughts of her, and the beauty he'd been drawn to out of loneliness so long before, flooded his mind.
The woman he had thought he'd loved with his young heart, but now he thought he never truly did. Inuyasha had a feeling that what he felt now might be love...or it might have been if he'd had any of his heart left to feel with.
When I was young,
I fell in love.
She was a Goddess,
With a world inside her mind.
Kikyou was so beautiful when he'd met her. She'd seemed so wise and perfect.
But with Kagome...fully grown right before him...she was what was perfect. She was happy, with a sparkle in her blue eyes, and a laugh on her lips.
When she moved on,
Something went wrong.
She took my power,
And the love I held inside.
When Naraku had tricked them, he'd basically shredded Inuyasha's heart to pieces. Kikyou's betrayal had stolen all of the love that he'd had reserved for his special someone; all the trust he'd had left to give.
But Kagome? He didn't even want to know how she'd broken the barriers. She was his best friend; he'd do anything for her. Inuyasha would even give up his life to save her. But could he give her something else, something more than just friendship and protection?
Now that I found you,
I don't know how to.
If I could,
Fall in love again,
I'd fall in love with you.
Inuyasha leapt down from the topmost branch of the large tree and pushed down the pain. He nimbly strode to the fire pit and sat down, staring up at the young woman. "Wench," he growled, "You shouldn't be moving around. You'll open your wounds. You got hurt too, ya' know?"
She grinned down her nose at him, then smiled at his concern. "Just some nicks and cuts, I'll be fine! You on the other hand..." she worriedly looked at the large blood soaked rip in his white kimono, his fire rat haori having been shredded beyond recognition.
He snorted and leaned back against a log. "I've been run through before!"
She plopped down next to him, and smiled gently. "Never three times with Naraku's miasma covered tentacles," she teased gently. Kagome reached out tentatively with a shaking hand, "Can I fix it up for you?"
He narrowed his amber eyes before shrugging off his top without complaint. "If it'll stop your complaining..."
Kagome flashed a smile and shot up to look around for her oversized yellow backpack. Grabbing her first-aid kit, she retracted the dwindling supply of bandages.
As she cleaned the gaping hole in his stomach, he carefully watched the top of her head, consoled by the fact that she couldn't see his staring.
He'd let her clean up his blood and take care of him if it made her feel better, even if he'd easily heal in a few days' time. Inuyasha would do anything for her...
If I could change,
A grain of sand,
Into a pearl, I would.
As Kagome finished winding the white fabric around his bare chest, she packed her supplies away and sat on her haunches. Smiling, she helped him tie his kimono back on. "Did that hurt?"
"Keh."
She grinned back at him, her stormy blue-grey eyes twinkling. "I'll take that as a 'no'. I'm glad, then."
A furry white triangle flicked on his head. Theconstant, steady breathing from nearbywas shifting. It was becoming more uneven and faster; Miroku was waking up. Judging by the quickened heartbeat, so was Sango.
Inuyasha nudged Kagome with a bare foot and tilted his head in their direction. Kagome giggled at the napping couple, and used a hand to smother her laughs. The hanyou and the girl smiled at each other.
Miroku blinked heavy lidded violet eyes open and began to stretch out the kinks, but stopped because of a weight on his shoulder. He settled back to wait for his love to wake up. Glancing up he noticed the other two adults watching him with amused expressions.
Miroku smiled proudly and said quietly, "If we could be quiet...?"
Kagome nodded and settled down next to the silver haired man beside her, "Don't worry Miroku-sama, we won't wake her up."
"Keh," Inuyasha stuck his hands up his sleeves and looked away from the others. "She's already waking up."
Kagome blinked owlishly back at him before looking up at his ultra sensitive hearing ears. "Oh yeah..."
Inuyasha smirked and smothered a chuckle at her cute expression. She had those kind of weird effects on him.
I pray in time,
I'll come to find,
A way to break through,
And save this heart of mine.
Sango struggled from the deep sleep. Her trained senses told her that there were people talking and she tried to reach consciousness.
The warmth at her side shifted and she felt her head fall from its perch, only to be cradled in a lap.
"Lady Sango...wake up. We need to have a discussion," A serene voice cooed into her ear.
"Yes, Sir-Monk..." she murmured as she started to open her sleep clouded eyes.
Inuyasha and Kagome watched mildly of the sweet moment between their friends and companions. Their comrades.
"It's sort of sweet, isn't it? Them two, being together, I mean." Kagome whispered into Inu's ear, causing an unnoticed shiver down his spine.
"Keh, I guess," but he smiled none-the-less.
Kagome smiled at the couple slightly, and waited patiently for the other two to wake up. She looked quietly at the smaller members of the group, Shippou and Kirara, still sleeping like before. She looked up at the star covered sky and the sliver of a moon.
Inuyasha kept his eyes off to the side, thinking over the last four years. Was it really over? Was Naraku really gone and did they actually survive? This had to be a dream... The next moment he'd awake to find Kagome still a fifteen-year-old girl, pleading to go home for a test. And he'd be denying her request, so afraid that she'd leave and never come back to him. It hurt him when she was gone and not near by.
You've waited long,
If you can't hold on,
I wouldn't blame you.
I don't think I'd be that strong.
Inuyasha watched Kagome, his sharp vision easily seeing her in the night, especially with the light from the dying fire and the softest hint of sunrise on the horizon.
She'd done it. She'd stayed by his side, just like she'd promised. Inuyasha had had nightmares about her leaving, just getting up and walking away. But she'd stayed.
He knew she cared for him...
...Just not how deeply.
He was her friend, her best friend. That he knew for sure. But he also knew Kagome used to hold feelings for him, what kind he wasn't sure, but that was four years ago! She couldn't still feel any romantic thoughts towards him, anymore. Inuyasha thought it impossible.
And it was a depressing and bitter thought.
But he wasn't sure even if she thought of him like that -had her heart reserved for him like he'd often hoped- that he'd be able to love her back.
But as long Kagome stood at his side, even as his best friend, he'd be happy. He was loved as himself, and Kagome was the first to do that. She was the first one to do that. She meant as much to him as his mother had. More than Kikyou had, because even though Kikyou had been his first friend, she hadn't been as close to him as Kagome was.
What am I to do,
When I can't have you?
"Inuyasha, Lady Kagome..." Miroku began, clasping his hands in front of him as his soon-to-be wife stretched her sleep driven limbs.
"Yeah, monk?" Inu grunted, quirking a thick black eyebrow in Miroku's direction.
Miroku took a calculating glance between the hanyou and the young woman sitting beside him. Seeing the man eyeing Kagome rather sadly, Inuyasha knew this wouldn't be a miko-friendly conversation.
Miroku swallowed thickly and took the plunge, "What, pray tell, are we to do about the Lady Kikyou now that our quest has ended?"
Inuyasha winced and dropped his head slightly as he felt Kagome stiffen next to him. She unconsciously began to slide a little away from him, afraid to get involved in a talk with her as the topic.
He wanted to reach out, to take her hand. He'd always felt guilty the effect it had on the girl from the future when he went out to meet the tragic priestess.
But he wouldn't take her hand. "What do you mean what will we do about her?" Inu growled, his hackles raising.
Kagome scooted further away. 'He's protecting her! Still...after all her attempts on his life, and mine, he still protects her. Oh, Inuyasha...Why can't you see?'
'Why can't you see...?' Inuyasha mentally pleaded with the girl next to him. It hurt him when Kagome tried to distance herself from him.
If I could fall,
In love again,
I'd fall in love with you.
If I could change,
A grain of sand,
Into a pearl, I would.
"Well, Inuyasha," Miroku peered desperately at his half-demon friend, angry with himself for hurting Kagome. But only Inuyasha could truly make this decision regarding Kikyou. He was the only one with any right.
Why can't you see, Inuyasha? She loves you...perhaps even more than you love her. You deserve Kagome-sama, someone who'll love you just for you. Why can't you realize that you're allowed to love?' Miroku looked on with sad eyes. He squeezed Sango's hand, glad that he had found his true love.
Sango, almost reading his thoughts, squeezed back.
Inuyasha turned to face the monk and the demon slayer. "I don't-- why do we have to do anything?" he was obviously torn. Guilt at being a key part of the ending of the priestess's life, and the loyalty to his best friend ran deep in his heart. How could he choose one hurt over the other?
Keeping my promise of protecting Kikyou is important...But is Kagome more important?' he asked himself.
You love me so,
Even though I don't know.
How do you deal,
With a man like me?
Was the answer simple? Could he just look in front of him and find it? No...
...He'd have to look behind him.
Kagome looked on, her eyes shining with unshed tears. How could they do this so easily? She gasped lightly when a clawed hand snaked out and gently clasped her own small hand.
'Inuyasha...' she twined her fingers with his, giving him support, although she wasn't sure she really wanted to…at least not with this subject. "I'm here," she whispered, almost inaudibly to him so only he could hear, "For as long as you want me to be."
She smiled lightly as he squeezed back, keeping his eyes shadowed by his silver bangs.
"I think..." he said slowly and Kagome leaned forward to listen. "That..."
"Yes," she and the others asked.
"That...it's not..."
"Yes," she drew closer and he tightened his closed eyes.
"It's not Kikyou anymore."
Kagome gasped and leapt back a little, her hand become becoming detached from his. She watched, almost in an out of body experience as his hand reached out to her, desperately trying to get its hold back on her own.
'It took him this long to realize that...that...thing isn't Kikyou anymore?' Thoughts rushed through her head frantically. 'I, we all have, been trying to get him to understand that for four years!'
"Are you sure...?" Kagome choked out, afraid she'd wake up any moment to find the hanyou still pondering over the loss of a love. A love that she was sure was never there in the first place. Everything seemed to fade away while she waited for the answer.
The only thing still in her ability to see was the hanyou as he looked up slowly, pain etched in his eyes.
"...Of course I am," he tried to sound arrogant, but the rough edge to his voice had faded too. "That's not Kikyou, and we'll...we'll have to let her spirit rest in peace!" he said more sternly.
'It's not Kikyou,' he reminded himself and he looked up sadly at the young stormy-eyed woman. 'She's gone,' he tried to remember. For Kagome...she'll go.'
If I could,
Fall in love again,
I'd fall in love with you.
If I could change,
A grain of sand,
Into a pearl, I would.
Kagome walked away from the campsite, wrapping herself in her arms. She shivered as she left the warm circle around the fire where Miroku and Sango were discussing the burial of Sango's family and fellow demon slayers.
A proper burial. The one they were never given.
She squeezed her eyes shut as she walked further from the camp, hugging herself tighter. Was it true? Would Inuyasha finally get rid of that 'Kikyou' that had bothered their relationship for so long?
Kagome couldn't find it possible. For four years, Inuyasha had been stubborn enough to insist it was the real miko. He was too blinded to see that Kikyou was gone, and always would be. He was too blind to see he needed to move on.
Too blind to realize that Kagome would be there, at his side, to help him move on.
She stopped, a single tear slipping down a cheek. Not a tear of sadness, or even happiness. Just a tear because she needed to cry, because she was confused.
"Kagome..." the girl could hear the hanyou creep up behind her, worried over her sudden departure.
'Is she okay? I thought...that maybe she'd see that I'd do anything for her if I did this. If I moved on...but, the way she's acting...' Inuyasha watched her back.
Kagome had stopped moving. She stood with her red clad back towards him, her head hung low. Her gleeful dance around the fire just hours before seemed only a distant memory.
His heart gave a tight squeeze when her shoulders sagged and shook. Didn't she realize by now that the worse thing she could do was cry? Damn, he hated it. It made him feel defenseless, and that was the one thing he prided himself in not being.
"Kagome," he tried again. He was relieved when she didn't move away. "What's wrong?"
Kagome sniffled and rubbed at her eyes, "Nothing," she choked out.
He sighed and growled in the back of his throat. 'Yeah...and I'm the Lord of the Western Lands...'
He stepped forward again and Kagome gave a petite 'eep' when his arms encircled her from behind.
"Don't cry..." he commanded.
She rolled her bloodshot eyes. "There are plenty of things to cry over. And I'm allowed to cry, aren't I?"
"No..." he said slowly and she strained her ears to hear better. "You're not allowed to cry...because I won't let you."
"Huh?"
He rested his cheek on the top of her soft head and held tighter. "Just don't cry..."
"What's going to happen now that it's over?" she asked suddenly.
"...Are you going to go back home?" he asked.
Inuyasha started when Kagome laughed softly. "This is as much my home as the future is. I'll stay...if you don't mind," she added quickly.
She always was too timid.
"Keh...Of course I..."
"What?"
"I don't...mind." He finished lamely.
She hummed in agreement. "It's settled then, isn't it? I'll stay here and travel back home when I need to."
"And if you can't...?" he asked still staying hidden by standing behind her.
"Can't?"Kagome echoed. "You mean what if I can't travel through time anymore?"
"No...what if you can't...because I won't let you...?"
Her breath caught in her throat, Kagome tried to turn around, but his arms only tightened. "W-why would you do that?" she struggled with the words.
"Because..." he scowled, angry that it was so hard to show even the tiniest bit of feelings toward the girl. If she stayed near...maybe he could. Maybe he'd be able to feel again if she stayed at his side. "...Because I'd miss you. And I'd want you by me, and I'd care if you were gone"
She smothered her gasp of surprise. She smiled softly and leaned more towards his arms, relieved that he didn't want her gone. That he'd stay her friend.
If he let her stay, she'd work hard on melting his heart. Helping him to trust and love again.
"You would?" she asked softly.
Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha smirked.
"I would."
I would,I would,
I would.
THE END