Destiny
Author: Jaime
Genre: Angst, Futurefic
Rating: PG
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Implied Clex
Summary: Lex realizes his true destiny to be alone.
----
It had taken twenty three years for Lex Luthor to finally realize that his destiny was to be alone.
It had taken several strings of events for the young millionaire to come to this conclusion. It had begun with Helen's attempt at his life, followed by his ordeal on the deserted island, his drugging by his father, his institutionalization, and ultimately realizing that Clark had been lying to him all along. Knowing that Clark would never risk being exposed in order to save Lex.
He had always known, somewhere in his heart – yes, the ruthless Luthor child did have a heart – that he was alone. But it took all these things for him to realize his destiny. His fate. To come to the aching realization that he would be utterly alone for the entirety of his life.
Oh, there would be his so-called friends and lovers. But they would never be a real part of his life. He'd pretend he cared about them and so would they, but they would never know the true Lex Luthor that lay beneath the facade. They would never see the cold and dark despair beneath his cool complexion. He'd laugh, he'd anger, he might even cry, but they would never be able to see the reality of Lex's soul.
He had never had the normal life that kids were supposed to have from the start. His mother never really understood him and his father didn't even try. He didn't have any friends who didn't laugh behind his back or wanted him only for his money and power. His so-called lovers were a joke.
He had grown up always crying in solitude, wondering where those comforting arms were that were supposed to embrace one when in grief. He even dreamed that one day, there would be someone that could do just that for him and drifted off into a tired sleep as he cried. That someday he would find that one person that people said there was for everyone.
When he arrived in Smallville – when he thought that he was over those childish wishes – he had met Clark. Clark, who saved his life at the bridge. Clark, who liked him for who he was and not for his name or money. Clark, who he promised a friendship of legends to. Clark, who he had trusted.
But then the lies began to pile up, one after the other, and as much as he tried, Lex just couldn't let them go. He hated being treated like he was an idiot and couldn't put two and two together. He hated the fact that Clark couldn't trust him even after all that he had done for him. He would deny to his dying day, but Clark was one of the few people besides his father that had the power to hurt him.
And hurt him he did.
Lex saw clearly, even through the haze of the drugs, when Clark stopped Morgan Edge's car and split it in half. He stared in disbelief as he realized his futile wish that Clark had never been lying crumbled into pieces and he realized that he had been right all along.
But that wasn't what hurt him.
What hurt him was that Clark abandoned him to be taken away to Belle Reve. What hurt him was that Clark didn't have any faith or trust in Lex to keep his secret. What hurt him was that Clark would never risk being exposed in order to save Lex.
At the age of twenty three, Lex Luthor finally realized that this had been his destiny all along. This is why his family was so dysfunctional, why he had never made friends, why his romantic relationships never worked out. He finally realized that he had been distancing himself from everyone, keeping a line between them, for a reason.
He realized that he never let anyone know who he really was because that trust would tear him apart when the person he trusted betrayed him. It would take too much from him when he realized that the person wouldn't accept him.
Lex Luthor's destiny was to live life in loneliness. To never have the same companionship that everyone else could enjoy in other people. To never be understood by anyone.
Still, to this very day, Clark Kent – no, Superman – thought that Lex had turned evil because of his treatment at Belle Reve. What he didn't realize was that it was because the bitterness one felt when they came to the realization that they would spend their lifetime completely and utterly alone.
Author: Jaime
Genre: Angst, Futurefic
Rating: PG
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Implied Clex
Summary: Lex realizes his true destiny to be alone.
----
It had taken twenty three years for Lex Luthor to finally realize that his destiny was to be alone.
It had taken several strings of events for the young millionaire to come to this conclusion. It had begun with Helen's attempt at his life, followed by his ordeal on the deserted island, his drugging by his father, his institutionalization, and ultimately realizing that Clark had been lying to him all along. Knowing that Clark would never risk being exposed in order to save Lex.
He had always known, somewhere in his heart – yes, the ruthless Luthor child did have a heart – that he was alone. But it took all these things for him to realize his destiny. His fate. To come to the aching realization that he would be utterly alone for the entirety of his life.
Oh, there would be his so-called friends and lovers. But they would never be a real part of his life. He'd pretend he cared about them and so would they, but they would never know the true Lex Luthor that lay beneath the facade. They would never see the cold and dark despair beneath his cool complexion. He'd laugh, he'd anger, he might even cry, but they would never be able to see the reality of Lex's soul.
He had never had the normal life that kids were supposed to have from the start. His mother never really understood him and his father didn't even try. He didn't have any friends who didn't laugh behind his back or wanted him only for his money and power. His so-called lovers were a joke.
He had grown up always crying in solitude, wondering where those comforting arms were that were supposed to embrace one when in grief. He even dreamed that one day, there would be someone that could do just that for him and drifted off into a tired sleep as he cried. That someday he would find that one person that people said there was for everyone.
When he arrived in Smallville – when he thought that he was over those childish wishes – he had met Clark. Clark, who saved his life at the bridge. Clark, who liked him for who he was and not for his name or money. Clark, who he promised a friendship of legends to. Clark, who he had trusted.
But then the lies began to pile up, one after the other, and as much as he tried, Lex just couldn't let them go. He hated being treated like he was an idiot and couldn't put two and two together. He hated the fact that Clark couldn't trust him even after all that he had done for him. He would deny to his dying day, but Clark was one of the few people besides his father that had the power to hurt him.
And hurt him he did.
Lex saw clearly, even through the haze of the drugs, when Clark stopped Morgan Edge's car and split it in half. He stared in disbelief as he realized his futile wish that Clark had never been lying crumbled into pieces and he realized that he had been right all along.
But that wasn't what hurt him.
What hurt him was that Clark abandoned him to be taken away to Belle Reve. What hurt him was that Clark didn't have any faith or trust in Lex to keep his secret. What hurt him was that Clark would never risk being exposed in order to save Lex.
At the age of twenty three, Lex Luthor finally realized that this had been his destiny all along. This is why his family was so dysfunctional, why he had never made friends, why his romantic relationships never worked out. He finally realized that he had been distancing himself from everyone, keeping a line between them, for a reason.
He realized that he never let anyone know who he really was because that trust would tear him apart when the person he trusted betrayed him. It would take too much from him when he realized that the person wouldn't accept him.
Lex Luthor's destiny was to live life in loneliness. To never have the same companionship that everyone else could enjoy in other people. To never be understood by anyone.
Still, to this very day, Clark Kent – no, Superman – thought that Lex had turned evil because of his treatment at Belle Reve. What he didn't realize was that it was because the bitterness one felt when they came to the realization that they would spend their lifetime completely and utterly alone.