Virtual Surreality

By Petran

Well… here it is! My sorry first attempt to write a fanfic. I hope you enjoy it.

I know there is a "Virtual Reality" episode in the anime (not in the manga), but quite frankly IT SUCKED, despite the introduction of Kentaro Sakata. Originally I had planned the virtual reality thing to be nothing but a plot device to get the story going to the direction I want it to, but the ideas have been popping up in my head for the past few weeks, and it seemed like a pity to just let this opportunity go to waste.

I have therefore decided to make this "virtual reality" story and then tell the story that I was intending to write when I originally started this, as a sequel to this one. I hope you like both.

And one last thing… I know it takes me a while to get the story going, in this first chapter, but once I reach the virtual reality situation, I have all kinds of fun stuff planned to do with the characters. Lets just say that this time Keitaro isn't going to be the only one going into the virtual reality machine, and it's not going to have just an amusement park in it

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina. Love Hina is a property of Ken Akamatsu, Tokyopop and Studio Xebec and TV Tokyo (am I forgetting anyone?). I only wrote this because I like the anime and LOVE the manga, not to make money out of it, so please don't legally kick my ass… please!

NOTE: The story takes place during volume 9 of the Manga, a bit after the "Broken Blade" story. This means that Motoko has just regained her status at the Shinmei-Ryu dojo, Naru is still attending the first term of her university, Keitaro still has a broken leg, and Kitsune, Kaolla, Shinobu and Mutsumi are… well… the same. I put the story during this timeline because it has more "gag-potential" for the type of story I want to write.

"*"=Spoken words

'*'=Thoughts

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Chapter 0: Those Morning Blues

Keitaro groaned as he tried to get out of his futon. It was one of those days were you wanted to just lie down there and not get up for… oh lets say the rest of the year. The past few weeks have drained him both physically and emotionally. He had professed his love to Naru, he had helped Motoko regain her status at the Shinmeiryu School of swordmanship by helping her stand-up to her sister. He has been crushed by a giant onion, hospitalized, plastered, blasted, beaten, possessed, de-possessed, kissed and beaten some more for good measure.

Even though he was supposed to be resting, he didn't get a good night's sleep or rest for almost three weeks. That, combined with what he went through, made him feel like he went through a meat grinder. All he wanted now was to sleep. But he was still supposed to be the landlord and he was still supposed to do the thing that landlords do, such as maintenance and repairs despite his injuries.

Motoko had tried to help him, after she briefly lost her swordmanship status, but her sense of purpose and a tendency to take things way too seriously, meant that she was so good at the chores to the point where she upset the other residents. The floor she waxed was so slippery that it could easily be used as an alternative ice-skating stage, the food she prepared was so typical that even soldiers would find it bland, and the way she chopped wood was so extreme that made the other tenants run for their lives. The final straw was when she replaced Mitsune's Sake Wine collection with vinegar, out of concern for her health.

After Motoko was reinstated at her dojo, she offered once more to help Keitaro until his leg got better. A brief recollection of the experience, as well as a brief look to the faces of the other Hinatasou tenants, when she suggested this, urged him to kindly decline her offer. So there he was, in his not so healthy state trying to get up to do a bit of clean-up to the chaos that was generally Hinata. A brief mental image of the accumulated housework made him shudder.

It felt a bit like school, that horrible feeling that you get when you realize that the weekend in over, that it's Monday, you have done absolutely no homework and no studying, and that you have to face that large bully from the fifth grade.

He rolled over grabbed his crutch and stood up. He went into the toilet, washed his face, did his *cough* business, took off his pajamas, put on his clothes and went to get some breakfast from the Kitchen before getting on with his daily chores.

Keitaro naturally had great amounts of physical endurance, but he was at the end of his rope. There were times when he wished he was somebody else, somewhere else. More handsome, more powerful, more charming, more daring, anybody, somewhere where people didn't put a knuckle in his face every five minutes… Anyone but him, anywhere but here…

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Chapter 0.25: Breakfast at Hinata's

"Good morning, Kei-Kun!".

There was only one person that used that particular honorific, along with Keitaro's name. After briefly stumbling through the stairs and nearly knocking himself out, Keitaro looked up to see the beautiful Mutsumi smiling at him. She was, as usual, having a slice of watermelon. Keitaro very often wondered about this; He never got to see her eat anything else. According to Kitsune, she actually ate some pasta salad once, and thoroughly enjoyed it, but he wasn't sure she was telling him the truth. He thoroughly asked himself 'Can anyone live on watermelons alone?'

"I'll take your word for it." Keitaro pulled himself together and sat on the table.

"This will brighten up your day Senpai!" Shinobu walked from into the kitchen holding a tray with traditional Japanese breakfast. The smell was wonderful making Keitaro give a serious conscious effort not to drool. Even though he was very hungry he decided to promptly wait for the others to come before he started eating.

By the way, where were they?

"Uhm, Shinobu… Where is everybody?"

"Kitsune had a wild night partying so naturally she's in her room sleeping like a log. Motoko is out practicing, while Naru is dressing up and preparing for her University Class. Sarah is preparing for school. And Kaolla has been in her room for the past few days…"

"And what is she doing?" Keitaro almost dreaded the answer but he had to know. As bad as he felt when she kicked and beat him, that feeling was nothing when he knew that she was just out there…

"Well, remember when you and Motoko went to Kyoto to fight Tsuruko?"

"Yes?"

"Well, me Kaolla, Suu, Mutsumi, and Sarah were here all alone and we decided to all go to the movies to pass time."

"And what was the movie you saw? Something by the Shaw Brothers? That new 'Hero' movie?"

"Uhm… No… Something called 'The Matrix'."

"What?!" Keitaro was thoroughly shocked. "This is an R-Rated movie! How could you go see something like this?! It has violence and cur..."

His words were cut short as he received a punch from Sarah who apparently managed to walk in the dining room without him noticing. "It also had Keanu! He is soooo cute!" Her eyes were sparkling wide, like a manga heroine as she said this. The word 'Teeny Bopper" came through Keitaro's mind. "Unlike YOU! Dork! Plus it had some great fighting sequences! I learned some cool new moves!"

Keitaro shuddered as he knew exactly who she was going to use the moves on. He decided not to push his luck and criticize the choice of movie the girls made. Instead he returned to the topic of what Kaolla was doing. After all she still hadn't arrived.

"OK, so you all watched 'The Matrix', what does this have to do with Kaolla?"

"Well, she told us that she wants to make a Virtual Reality machine like The Matrix. And you know how she is when she puts her mind into something!"

"Yes, I do…" he had learned, the hard way, that Kaolla's mind was like a bullet-train. Very powerful, very fast, and impossible to stop once it starts going into a certain direction. This, combined which an inventiveness that would make Thomas Edison look like an idiot, and a child-like innocence that prevented her from realizing that a 60-Foot fighting turtle robot with an atomic bomb as a power supply is not a good thing made Kaolla's mind a very dangerous place to be.

Still the idea that she was just making a virtual reality machine put his mind at ease. 'At least she is not making a mecha-godzilla'.

He breathed out, put his mind at ease, and relaxed, which was a foolish thing to do… Because he didn't realize that sooner or later, one way or the other, him and the other tenants of Hinatasou would inevitably have to try it!

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Chapter 0.50: Missing Pressumed

Motoko came down, bringing a post-hangover Mitsune with her. From the look of things Mitsune was not happy about being woken up after a night of hardcore drinking. Her hair was all messed up, her face was twitching and she walked down the stair in a way that reminded Keitaro of the "Evolution of Man" graph he saw at prep-school. The pretty samurai girl was literally dragging her. Normally Mitsune was very beautiful, but in her current state she looked like something someone scapped off his shoe.

"Dammit Motoko! Why did you have to drag me down here?"

"Because I believe you should get something to eat."

"Why can't I just get up at noon and have drunch…"

"That's Brunch."

"Whatever… Why can't I?"

"Because by then the alcohol will already do a considerable damage to your stomach. You should get something to eat now. Then you may go back to sleep."

Keitaro just had to ask…"Why were you drinking yesterday for, Kitsune?"

"My horse won at the races and I decided to have a celebratory drink."

"If you lost, you would have had a consolation drink."

"True."

"You drink way too much." Understated Motoko. Mitsune on a drinking binge made Oliver Reed look like a pastor.

Keitaro didn't like where this was going so he decided to slightly change the subject.

"So how much did you win?"

"About 30000 Yen."

"How are you going to spend it?"

"Probably by paying off some of my debts. It's not going to be enough to cover all, but it's something… Anyway, where's the grub? I'm hungry!"

Just then, Naru came down the stairs all dressed up to go to the University. Even though she wore normal university attire, wearing her glasses, and with her hair tied up in a bun, Keitaro thought she looked stunning. She promptly greeted everyone, smiled and sat down.

Just a few weeks ago Keitaro finally managed to profess his love her. She had been avoiding him ever since. This made him feel like a death-row inmate waiting for his execution. In fact it was a bit worse, because the death-row inmate's pain would probably end with his execution… His would only start…

That was because, in his mind there were two possible outcomes. Naru would either tell him that she doesn't like him and reject him outright, or she would just tell him that she just sees him "as a friend". Upon consideration, he preferred the first option. At least it was honest and didn't leave any doubts about he was standing. He had already heard the "as a friend" speech a dozen million times, and he knew that it meant, translated from womanese "I like the attention that you are giving me, and you are free to take me out sometime, or let me crash at your place, or let you help me, but if you lay a finger on me, you'll never see me again.". It made him feel like a spare tire, and sick to his stomach.

Of course there was also the possibility that she would tell him that she actually likes him, and wants to be something more than just a friend to him, which would be equivalent of the death-row inmate to be released and receive a million dollars as compensation, but it was a very remote one…

Keitaro looked at Naru and thought how beautiful she looked. He gave her a warm smile, and she smiled back. After Motoko got reinstated to her dojo, Naru started talking to Keitaro again. But there was no sign of her giving him an answer. She just went on with her life, as if Keitaro's profession never happened.

Everybody got ready to eat, but something wasn't right… "Where's Kaolla?"

"She's still in her room…"

"Something's not right, it's been a few days since we last saw her and Kaolla is never one to miss breakfast."

"You are definitely right, one of us has to go and bring her here…"

Everybody sat silent. Generally speaking Kaolla's room was not a place you'd want to be in, especially when she's around…

Being the warrior among the gang, Motoko decided to take the initiative. "I'll go get her… You guys have breakfast without us…"

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Ten minutes passed and went. Kaolla was not down yet, and neither was Motoko.

"Kaolla is probably giving Motoko one of her death grips… I think I'll go get them." And with that Mitsune went upstairs…

Another ten minutes passed without Kaolla, Motoko AND Kitsune.

"OK, now I am seriously worried. I think I should go check…"

Keitaro tried to go up the stairs, but it was a bit difficult, with him standing on a crutch. Naru kept looking at him for a minute and then decided to help him get up the stairs. Keitaro blushed as Naru put his arms around her neck. It was true that she still cares about him.

"Hey, don't get any funny ideas, I am just helping you out."

He sighed. Naru was a literally a closed book to him. He could see the cover, he could have a brief idea of what was inside, but he just couldn't read her. He just couldn't figure out what was inside her. And that drove him crazy.

They finally reached Kaolla's room.

"Are you sure, you want to go through this?"

"It's not like we have a choice, unless you want to send Shinobu all by herself in here."

"You have a point."

They opened the door and walked inside…

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Chapter 0.75: Beneath the valley of the Mini -Vixen

There is really no accurate way to describe Su's room. A "mess" is not the right word either, because it assumes that the room was once in order, AND that it could be cleaned up one day in the future. "Jungle" is not the right word, because very few jungles have nuclear reactors and mechaniloids. Perhaps "Warzone" would be an accurate enough word to describe it, but it insinuates that you have the presence of at least two armies fighting there. Su was more than able to 'cause enough damage on her own thank you very much…

Together they walked through the plantations, dodged the giant snake, hypnotized the hysteric cobra, and distracted the cybernetic ninja badger. They made a right turn to where the latest version of Mecha-Tamago was currently recharging and finally reached the place where Kaolla was usually conducting her experiments.

"Thank god, you're finally here! She's crazy!"

They both turned, and their eyes narrowed. Both Motoko and Mitsume were clapped in some sort of chair. From the look of things they weren't very happy with their present predicament.

"What happened?"

"Do you even have to ask? She stunned us and tied us to these… things!"

"Hurry up and help us before she comes back!"

Keitaro started walking towards Motoko while Naru dashed towards Kitsune. Not having a broken leg, she naturally reached her intended target first. She looked at Kitsune's bindings to find there was no lock.

'How do I open this thing? Hmm, the bindings seem a bit loose… Maybe If I just pull them apart…"

"NO, NARU! THEY ARE BOOBY…"

"ARGH!!!!"

The electric shock knocked both Kitsune and Naru out. Naru, lied flat on what, for now, we will call "floor". Keitaro heard Naru's scream and, when he saw her lying down unconscious, hurried by her side, ignoring the bound Motoko. He put his finger on her neck and he was relieved to see that she still had a pulse and that she was still breathing. He then got up to check on Kitsune. As he checked for pulse and air flow he felt a little sting on the back of his neck.

"…The hell?" He reached back and pulled an air dart out of his neck. "What is this supposed to be?"

The answer came soon to him, as the world began spinning and everything blacked out…

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"Keitaro! Are you OK?"

Keitaro, opened up his eyes and found out he was tiep up to a strange contaption. He couldn't move his arms or his legs. He turned his head to his side to see Naru in pretty much the same predicament.

"It depends… How do you define OK? If you define "OK" by me being alive, with a head the size of uranus, and a feeling that I just got pulped then I guess I am OK."

"You didn't have to be sarcastic…"

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

"A bad feeling? We are tied up in an electric chair, in a portable jungle, and all you have is a bad feeling?"

"NOW who's being sarcastic…"

"Oh, just shut up!"

"Fine!"

They both went silent for a while. They both turned their heads so that they didn't face each other. They were shocked to see Motoko and Mitsune unconsious as whatever it was that they were being tied to was obviously starting to work. Among the various sounds that were being heard in Kaolla's portable rainforest, Keitaro heard sniffing. He turned around to see Naru crying…

"Keitaro… I am afraid…"

He never got to see her like this. He saw her cry before, but out of sadness or anger. This was the first time he saw her cry out fear. He said the only thing that he could think of…

"If it makes you feel any better… So am I…"

"What is going to happen to us?"

"I honestly don't know. But I do know that we will get through this… We always do…"

Naru's face lightened up a little. Seeing this, Keitaro decided to crack a joke to make her feel better…

"Just think that we are starring in our very own B-Horror movie…"

"Yeah… All that we are missing is the Mad Scientist."

As if speaking of the devil, at that moment Kaolla appeared yelling "HALLO EVERYONE!!!". She wore a funny looking helmet and held something that looked like a remote control

"Not anymore." Quipped Keitaro.

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"Kaolla, what's all this?"

"This is my new Virtual Reality Machine! I put a lot of effort into making it and now I am finally going to try it!"

"And why did you have to tie us up like this?"

"I had a feeling you wouldn't try this voluntarily."

Keitaro raised an eyebrow… She was right…

"So what is this thing going to do to us?"

"It will just put you on a virtual reality world designed by me!"

The words "designed by me" send a shiver down Keitaro's spine. Even though Kaolla was a sweet, happy, carefree and innocent girl, she was still a bit of a psycho.

"And what kind of world is it?" asked Naru

"It's just a place were stories, fantasies and fables become true…"

"Oh brother… Are Motoko and Mitsune in this place as well?"

"Yeah! Their units got charged up a little while ago, yours will be set in a minute."

Keitaro decided to plead with her "Kaolla, please don't do this! It's not right!"

"Come on! It will be fun! Besides, I will be guiding you! That's why I am wearing this!"

"I don't care if you are guiding us or not! We just want to get out of here!"

"I know you don't mean it! Anyway, okies, you are all set, let's go!"

"No, wait! Kao..."

Keitaro's speech was cut short as Kaolla pushed a button on her remote control. He felt like his whole being was ripped apart from his body. He screamed as he saw a white light coming toward him at high speed....

See you all at Chapter 1!

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OK! There goes the prologue! I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. By the way, this is not going to be a Matrix Parody (even though I do intend to poke some fun at it). I am writing a virtual reality story because a virtual world is essentially a place where anything can happen. I can literally do anything to the characters! I do intend to keep them as close to Akamatsu's profiles as I can though. After all the main reason you sit down to write a fanfic is because you like the characters, right?

By the way, is there a certain setting that you would like to see the Keitaro and the rest of the Hinata gang get into? I am already having a few ideas, but I want to hear from you as well. I would especially appreciate it, if any one of you could pre-read chapters and tell me what you think, and how I can improve the story.

References:

OK, I pay homage to a lot of stuff in my stories ("homage as we know is just a PC way to say "I rip something off), so I decided to add a reference section to this story, where I say exactly where I stole… errr… I mean borrowed my material from:

-Love Hina: Obviously, since this is a Love Hina fanfic, I am going to rip some stuff off it, mainly the main characters. If you are one of those unfortunate people that haven't read it yet, do so now. You'll thank me later…

-The Matrix: Duh! Of Course! One of the best movies ever, it deals with the nature of reality. Also check out the Animatrix! Just be sure to stay clear of the sequels. They will ruin everything for you.

-Monkey Island "Le Chuck's Revenge"- The "Bad Feeling" dialog and comebacks came from a certain line, in a certain scene of the game where two of the protagonists were held prisoners. The Monkey Island series of games is one of the funniest and funnest around. I suggest you check them out if you can find them.

Join us in the next chapter as Keitaro takes his first steps into Kaolla's virtual world.