Reptile Trouble!

To Wizard1: Yeah, Joan's last name came from Ace Frehley. Her first name is courtesy of Joan Jett. Yeah, but Jones would first have to tick off Razor. Oh yeah, and you never reviewed Chapter 6, man! If you did, I think it got eaten.

To Red Witch: That's one of the reasons Razor avoids her like the plague. Here's more for you! BTW, I went to an antique shop and I found a copy of an old GI Joe comic for a buck! Issue #62, October 1987 to be exact. It's the one where Fred VII returns to Cobra as Cobra Commander.

To Aaron: For some warped reason, I could imagine Jubilee constantly beating the Baines Brothers.

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own any Marvel stuff to you? Just a bunch of comic books.

Chapter 7: Reptile's Defeat!

The Skies over Cleveland

"C'mon, ya oversized lizard! Come and get you some!" Razor yelled at Dr. Reptile. The mutated, enraged scientist leapt after him, roaring like the Hulk after landing butt-first on an upright ski pole. "Sheesh, what is this guy's problem?"

"I don't know." Ronnie said sarcastically, while flying ahead of Razor. "It could be that he was turned into a raging animal and now he's got a loudmouthed rockstar yelling insults at him. That could tick off anyone, ya know."

"Ronnie, make like a zipper and close it! Are we there yet?" Razor yelled.

"Almost!" Ronnie looked down. "There it is! Let's go!" Ronnie dived, Razor following.

"This had better work, Ronnie." Razor glared as he dived toward the warehouse Ronnie flew into. Dr. Reptile leapt in front of the warehouse as Razor disappeared into it. The mutated doctor sniffed around and growled as he paced around.

"Okay, now we have to lure him in gently, Razor…" Ronnie whispered.

"Screw that!" Razor hollered. "HEY REPTILE!!!" Dr. Reptile's head perked up. "HEY LIZARDLIPS!!! YOUR MAMA WAS SO DUMB, SHE SAT ON A TV AND WATCHED THE COUCH!!!" Dr. Reptile roared.

"Nice work, Razor! Now you got him mad!" Ronnie snapped.

"Well, it seems freakin' impossible to make Mr. Cold-Blooded happy!" Razor snapped back. With an enraged roar, Dr. Reptile burst through the wall of the warehouse. Razor and Ronnie hid by hovering among huge hanging slabs of meat. "Are you sure this'll work?"

"It has to. He's reptilian. He should slow down with the cold temperatures in here." Ronnie said.

"The Kid of Rock is beginning to feel like he's going to slow down with this cold." Razor shivered slightly. "Um, Ronnie…how do you know that a reptile is slowing down?"

"He moves slower and slower, then he goes into hibernation, I think." Ronnie blinked. "Why?"

"Because…" Razor pointed at Dr. Reptile, sniffing around and throwing around meat. "He seems to not mind it."

"Huh? That's weird." Ronnie blinked. "Maybe it's the fact that he was once human, as the tattered clothes indicate."

"So, you're saying that even though he's partially reptile-like, he's still warm-blooded?" Razor groaned.

"Yeah. Warm-blooded animals are better able to maintain their own body temperature despite outside temperatures than cold-blooded creatures are." Ronnie blinked. "So, that means cold is not necessarily going to stop Dr. Reptile."

"Great." Razor growled. He plucked his guitar. "Time to rock, pal." Razor flew out towards the monster. "Hey doc!" Dr. Reptile turned around. "I got a prescription for your scaly arse! VAN HALEN HAMMER!!!!!" Razor smashed the doctor with his guitar, sending the mutated scientist through another wall and into a truck shell-first. The truck exploded in a bright orange cloud and with a KABOOM!!!!! "Talk about your going out with a BANG! Ha ha!!" Razor laughed. He and Ronnie then saw a familiar shadow emerge from the flames. "How in the world did he survive THAT?!"

"That shell must be tougher than steel!" Ronnie blinked. Dr. Reptile stomped slowly towards Razor, then suddenly, a bumper that was sent into the air landed on his head with a CLANG!! With a grunt, the monsterous half-man, half-reptile creature fell on his face, knocked out. "Wow. That was quick."

"All it took was a car bumper to the brain." Razor blinked. "I can't decide whether to laugh or look confused." A squad car raced to the scene. Polanski and Briscoe emerged.

"Kid Razor, what did you do?" Polanski roared.

"I put some reptile on the Barbie, mate." Razor replied in an Australian accent.

"I'll call for the zoo." Briscoe chuckled, walking back to the car. "Oh and Razor, your girlfriend insisted on coming." Ronnie started snickering.

"Girlfriend?" Razor blinked. Jubilee, Fingers, Tommy, and Joan emerged from the car. "Aw heck naw!"

"RAZOR!!"

"Briscoe, I am going to kick your butt for this." Razor growled as he ran to save himself from Hurricane Jubilee. Ronnie burst out laughing, despite the fact that only Razor, Joan, and Jubilee could see or hear him.

"Run Razor Run!" Ronnie cat-called.

"Shut up Ronnie!" Razor snapped. "You're luck you're intangible or the Kid of Rock would give you the Homer Simpson treatment!"

"Why do I get the feeling that I am about to be dragged into a madhouse?" Joan asked Sgt. Briscoe.

"Cleveland has become one crazy town since Razor first showed up." Briscoe chuckled.

"Up, up, and I'm gone!" Razor took to the air, leaving Jubilee moaning on the ground.

"Come back here!"

"Oh no! Bobby! He disappeared when that monster showed up!" Joan realized.

"Where was he last?" Polanski asked.

"Near Ron's Pizzeria." Joan replied. She glared at Tommy and Fingers. "Now all I have to kill you clowns for spying on me and Bobby." The two Cavaliers gulped.

"Are we going to get beaten, Tommy?" Fingers gulped.

"Does Jubilee turn into a loony stalker around Kid Razor?" Tommy replied. He turned and saw Jubilee glaring at him. "Hi, Jubes." The two Cavaliers gulped as the girls advanced closer

Back at Ron's Pizzeria

Razor flew back to an alley near the pizzeria and changed back into Bobby Parkins. The young guitar player ran to the pizzeria. The squad car returned to the pizzeria, Bobby waving. The girls emerged, Jubilee had a disappointed look on her face.

"I nearly had him…I nearly had him…" The Asian-American mutant moaned.

"Bobby, where have you been?" Joan blinked. "That guitar-playing loudmouth Kid Razor showed up and beat that reptile monster."

"Uhm…I was looking for Kid Razor." Bobby laughed nervously. Man, why can't I be like Iron Man and have a public identity? Bobby blinked when he saw Tommy and Fingers. They looked like they had the snot kicked out of them. "What happened to them?" He asked, taking the opportunity to change the subject.

"They were spying." Joan replied, glaring at the two Cavaliers.

"Anyway, Kid Razor defeated the reptile monster." Polanski groaned. "I got a bad feeling about this."

"If that reptile monster is as tough as he looks, then I got the feeling that he'll be back." Tommy sighed. "Ow." He held his nose. "Oh no, it's bleeding again."

A cell in the Vault

Dr. Gary Turnbull, the former scientist now known as Dr. Reptile or simply 'the reptile monster', sulked in his cell.

"Grrrr…grumble…" The creature held his head and growled. "Grrrr…rahhhhhhhuhhhhhhh…uhn…Ohhhhhhh…" The gravelly voice of the monster took on a formal civilized tone. "Uhhhhnh…Finally, I'm back in control." Dr. Reptile looked around. "Well, based on my memories of what happened to me back when I was feral, it looked like I possessed great power. Enough to give that loudmouth Kid Razor a run for his money. Hmm…" Dr. Reptile ran over the battle in his mind. Evidently, the trauma of his transformation had knocked his human half out for a while, causing his beastial half to run amok. Now, his human side revived and took back control. "Hmm…I can use this power after all…what was it that that Kid Razor guy called me? Oh yes…Dr. Reptile. I like it." He smirked evilly.

Well, Kid Razor's newest adventure comes to an end! What insanity will happen down the line? Will Kid Razor and Dr. Reptile meet up again? What was going on over in Cincinnati? Find tout the answers to these and more questions soon! Suggestions needed badly!