Things in italics are flashbacks/memories, and things in bold are song lyrics.
I dedicate this to the late Sirius Black.
Not a cloud was in the sky and the sun was shining brightly. Many people were regretting the black clothes they were in, but anything else at a funeral would seem disrespectful to the man who was supposed to be in the coffin they were standing around.
Remus Lupin was standing apart from everyone else, his eyes trained on the coffin and his hands in his pockets. He was wearing all black but had a bright yellow flower pinned to his shirt. He had gotten a few funny looks because of it, though no one had dared ask about it. Remus had gone with the black to mourn the death of Sirius, but he couldn't help but remember something that he had said when they were waiting for their Divination O.W.L.:
"When I die, I don't want anyone wearing black at my funeral. I want people to celebrate the wonderful life that I had, not mourn my passing. For death, my dear Moony, is only the next adventure!"
And with that moment in mind Remus had picked out the small flower.
It was three years after Sirius' death and the war had ended only a week ago. Pettigrew had been caught, Sirius' name had been cleared, and a public funeral was permitted at last. The Order members and Ministry officials were scattered around the cemetery that was dwarfed by large trees. Mrs. Weasley was mumbling things that Remus could only half hear. Things about how she treated Sirius and thing she should have said.
Remus felt that the weather was suiting for Sirius' funeral. It seemed as if Sirius had spoken to the weather and told it that he didn't want rain or clouds, snow or sleet at his funeral. As a teenager he was always optimistic. Apparently that didn't change after death.
Harry was standing between Ron and Hermione. He had already walked forward and placed a few items in the coffin. Since they had no body for the man, it was agreed that those people who knew him best would place items that were of importance to Sirius inside his coffin.
An Unmentionable had torn a piece of the veil off and it was the first thing to be placed in.
Notes from a guitar wafted around in the summer heat. Remus had requested this specific song to be played. It was the same song that he had played at James and Lily's funeral, and at the funeral for Peter the next day.
He became lost in memories of Sirius as the music played.
Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone,
Susanne the plans they made put and end to you,
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,
I just can't remember who to send it to,
Remus Lupin climbed into one of the small boats that were supposed to take them to the castle. The weather was balmy and the lake still. He looked around nervously at the other students who had already found people to talk to. He wondered if he would find anyone like that. All his life his parents had kept him away from the other children, protecting them from harm but hurting their son more than they knew.
He listened to the voices of three boys behind him. "There's nowhere left to sit," said one voice. "Of course there is, right there," Remus could almost feel the boy pointing at the boat he was sitting in alone. "That kid looks at little..." the squeaky voice trailed off. "Weird," continued the first voice. "You know..." started the second voice. "I think you're right," Footsteps came his way, and Remus felt the boat tip at the weight of another person. He looked down at his feet. "Do you mind if we sit here?" the boy asked. Remus forced himself to look up. The boy had black hair that was straight and fell into his dark blue eyes. He shook his head. "Not at all," his voice was quiet and shaky, but he felt his nervousness fade when the other boy's face broke out into a grin. He turned around and waved his friends over. One had messy black hair and glasses, and the other had dirty blonde hair and looked as if he hadn't lost his baby fat yet. "Come on, we can sit here!" The other two climbed into the boat and Remus watched as they talked with each other, ignoring the him. But, it seemed, that the boy who had approached him wouldn't let Remus get off that easy. "What's your name?" he asked. The other boys fell quiet. "Lupin," Remus said quietly. "Remus Lupin." The other boy smiled again, once again calming Remus' nerves. "I'm Sirius Black. That's James Potter, and the guy sitting behind us is Peter Pettigrew," James and Peter mumbled their 'hello's, looking at Sirius as if he were mad. Sirius ignored their looks and put an arm around Remus' shoulders, whispering secretively. "Ok, Remus, answer me quickly. What do you think is the best way to get James' hair to calm down?" James turned around and glared at Sirius, who smirked. Remus studied James for a moment, and then grinned. "I think that the only way to calm his hair would be to shave it all off," Sirius and Peter started laughing and the laughter slowly worked its way to James as well. As Remus laughed with his new friends he felt that he would have no problems fitting in. I've seen fire and I've seen rain,
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end,
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again,
Remus was flushed from running. Sirius was laughing in front of him and James was running next to Remus. Peter had already given up chasing Sirius and was a few meters behind them, his hands on his knees, panting like crazy.
The four of them had been studying by the lake when Sirius decided that they needed a break from O.W.L. preparations. So, he preceded to dump their books into the lake and then sprint away before they could retaliate. Remus and James were yelling obscenities at him, firing hexes toward the back of the taller boy when they had the breath for it. Sirius looked behind him and didn't see them, so he stopped to catch his breath. Remus whispered 'now' and he and James pounced on Sirius, earning them a startled yelp from the other boy. He and James wrestled Sirius to the ground and playfully punched him. All three of them were laughing and flushed from the run. Sirius threw up his hands and yelled for a truce, which was given to him about five minutes later. Remus and James rolled off of their friend and caught their breath. Neither saw Sirius moving until he sprinted off again, laughing like a madman with their wands in his hand. Remus growled in his throat and James started yelling at him again. Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You've got to help me make a stand,
You've just got to see me though another day,
My body's aching and my time is at hand,
And I won't make it any other way,
Two figures lay below a black sky that was dotted with bright stars. The long grass around them moved with the summer breeze. It was two days until graduation, one day until the seventeenth birthday of one Remus J. Lupin. Or, to be more precise, it was five minutes until his seventeenth birthday. Sirius had come up with a pointless excuse (Remus couldn't even remember it now) that had convinced Remus to follow him outside.
"Why are we out here, Padfoot?" Remus asked curiously. He leaned on an elbow to get a better look at his friend. The half moon was shining enough so that Remus could see the perfect skin and the black hair. He could count every eyelash that surrounded his closed eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you," said Sirius nervously. Remus was taken aback and couldn't speak for a moment. Sirius Black was never nervous. It was just not something that happened.
"What about?" Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at Remus. The longer he stared, the more self-conscious Remus felt and the more Remus doubted that he would be able to control himself. Sirius sat up and avoided Remus' eyes as he spoke.
"I... For a while now I've... You... Oh, blast it all! Remus, I love you, and I want to know if you'd move in with me after school," Remus was too shocked to say anything. He couldn't sit up and he seemed to have lost his breath sometime during Sirius' speech. Sirius took the silence as a bad thing, and hopped up off of the ground.
Remus' senses caught up to him and he, too, stood up. He ran to catch up to Sirius and had the other boy pinned to the ground in one movement. Sirius landed with a small oof and looked up at Remus with wide eyes. Remus was grinning wider than he ever had before.
"Of course I'll move in with you, Sirius!" It took Sirius a few seconds to get over the shock. His grin grew slowly.
"Really?"
"Really!" Remus was laughing from the sheer relief of it all. He had never been good with feelings and he had serious doubts that he would've been able to come out and tell Sirius how he felt without a little push.
Sirius ran his hands, calloused from Quidditch practice, over Remus' pale skin as if he were assuring himself that Remus was really there and that it all wasn't a dream. They grinned at each other and moved as one to a common goal. Remus sighed into Sirius' parted lips. He had been waiting for this for far too long. "Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter," said Remus."I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?" he said casually over Pettigrew's head. "Forgive me, Remus," said Sirius. "Not at all, Padfoot, old friend," said Remus, who was now rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?" "Of course," said Sirius, and the ghost of a grin flittered across his gaunt face. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. "Shall we kill him together?" "Yes, I think so," said Remus grimly. The sooner they turned the rat in, the sooner Sirius' name would be cleared. And then... well, Remus didn't know what they would do. Later, after Pettigrew had escaped and Remus had resigned from his position as professor, Remus sighed heavily. For a few glorious moments he had something good to look forward to, the return of the man who had been his best friend and partner for many years. He didn't know when he'd be seeing Sirius again. Though, he had waited twelve years for this glimpse of the man. A few more years couldn't hurt that much... Been walking my mind to an easy time my back towards the sun, "No." It was not Mrs. Weasley who spoke this time, but Remus. "The Order is comprised only of overage wizards," he said. "Wizards who have left school," he added, as Fred and George opened their mouths. "There are dangers involved of which you have no idea, any of you... I think Molly is right, Sirius. We've said enough." Sirius half-shrugged but didn't not argue. Mrs Weasley beckoned imperiously to her sons and Hermione. One by one they stood up and Harry, recognizing defeat, followed suit. The remaining Order members sat in silence around the table. They had plenty of things to say but no one had the initiative to start talking. After thirty seconds of ringing silence, Sirius sighed and stood up. He told them that he was going to bed. His voice was angry from the fight with Mrs. Weasley, but Remus could heard the voice of a tired man hidden behind that anger. He followed Sirius up to their room. His lover was standing in front of the open window, staring out at the bright stars. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' chest and kissed the side of his neck. Sirius sighed and leaned back into the embrace. Neither knew how long they stood there without saying anything. Remus broke the silence by suggesting that they get some sleep. Sirius muttered something about worthlessness and doxies, but didn't argue. They stripped down to their undergarments and curled around each other in the large bed. Sirius sighed. "I'm worried about Harry," he said. Remus moved in the bed so that he could look into the dark blue eyes that had comforted him since youth. "We all are, Sirius," "I know... I just feel so helpless, stuck in this house with nothing important to do!" "You are doing something important. You're staying safe and out of the Ministry's grasp. Harry needs you Sirius, he needs you as much as I do. You won't do anyone any good by getting yourself caught again." Sirius looked away from Remus' gaze. "Sirius, you have to promise me that you won't leave me again. I can't handle that."
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain,
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end,
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again,
"You don't believe this... wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around,
"I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight–"
Sirius looked up again with wet eyes.
"I promise." Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come, Everything seemed to make him hurt more. Walking, breathing, talking, even blinking caused him to use energy that he didn't have. He stumbled into the master bedroom of Grimmauld Place. The bedroom that he and Sirius had shared for a year. Everything was the same as they had left it. The clothes in piles on the floor from where they had hastily stripped them off the night before. The bed sheets were falling off the bed from where they had sprinted into the shower that morning, laughing like a couple of love-sick teenagers.
Remus sunk onto the bed and looked around. Everything was the same as before, nothing had changed while they were gone. It felt as if Sirius would walk though the door any time now, laughing at him for being stupid enough to believe that Sirius Black could die. "You broke your promise," Remus whispered to the air around him. He lifted up Sirius' discarded shirt. It was the one that he had given him for Christmas that year, a tight, black button-up shirt. The last three buttons were falling off from where Remus had gotten impatient and ripped the shirt off. He curled up on the bed and buried his face in Sirius' shirt, inhaling the musky smell of the man he loved. It was only then that he let himself cry. Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain,
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground,
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end,
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now,
Remus impatiently wiped at a stray tear and tore himself out of his memories. He looked around at the group that had gathered for the funeral. Harry was now resting his head on the shoulder of his partner, Ron. His eyes were closed and the sun sparkled on the tears he had let escape. Ron was whispering comforting words to him with his eyes on the grass. Fred had gathered Hermione into his arms and was holding her while she sobbed.
It seemed to Remus that time doesn't heal all wounds. No one around him knew Sirius as well as he did, and yet there were still others shedding tears.
Thought I'd see you one more time again,
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now,
Remus pulled a picture out of his breast pocket. The eighteen-year-old men in the picture were hugging each other lovingly. They had no clue what would happen in the next few years. They didn't know that they would be separated by lies and put through near-torture. The black hair of one of them was blowing into the face of the second, but he didn't care. The golden-haired young man was enjoying the company too much to be bothered by little things.
That man was now older, grayer, and heart-broken. He placed the picture in the coffin and walked away as the singing came to an end and the music faded.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now...
A/n- Two parts you may have recognized from the books. And then you may have noticed that I...er... tampered with them a bit. Those two parts were: pgs 372-373 in PoA and pgs 96-97 in OotP.
Please review!Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.
:-:silver-sunn101:-: