After someone loses something it's hard to accept than to get over it. When X loses the one he cares so much for, it's the hardest thing for him to accept. All because X's words were never heard by that one person... please RR!
Note: This is my first time doing this, writing one of those Song-fic's. But
hey, I'm gonna try! x This really can be called a sample of what I can write
and do. Just going to see how it goes n' all.
It started out with the lyrics to the song I chose, the idea came from that and
well it stuck from there. The lyrics come from the band 'Coldplay'.. it's
"The Scientist." It's a nice song that I love!
Oh yeah, this could be considered yaoi or strong friendship. Depends on what
kind of mind you have.. x gotten several opoions and such so I'm letting you
decide what it is. I'm also trying to see how well I can hide things until the
end or making things fall into place. It would be nice to know how I do!
Otheriwse, enjoy!
Disclaimer: MM belong to capcom and the lyrics to Coldplay. I only wrote this
fic using the characters and the lyrics so the words are mine, ideas of the
story as well.
It's funny
how no one sees it, how no one seems to care about one thing until it is swept
away. Gone forever, leaving no one any time to do anything to change it; for it
is gone and the world around becomes a suddenly smashed mirror, the pieces of a
prefect, solid frame to suddenly... crack. Then, and only then, do they
separate, breaking apart, bursting outwards into millions of sharp, glittering
shards; Breaking down reality into little pieces that can be processed and
understood; as the glass (which is reality) falls into the facades of a 'false'
world that had been created. From then it would create a new world... an alien
world that was new and unwelcoming. Cold... and alone... leaving the person to
accept what had happened and what had changed. X didn't want accept anything;
even though what had happened... happened...
It was
snowing that day, (as it had been for several days) the ground a crackling
white sheet that was draped over the ground and trees... anything that the
millions of tiny, white flakes of constantly falling snow could touch. Above,
the swirling gray clouds hung, like a dead weight over the winter blanket; it
caused the snow to fall, just like the spirits of many on all winter days.
No one would
be caught out walking the streets this day: the snow was too thickly laid and
the current snow that fell was starting to fall quicker than it had been. There
was one repliod that didn't seem to mind the chilling bite of the cold, the
snow that fell, or having to have to walk through the deep snow. (That nearly
came up to the repliod's knee.) No, the repliod didn't seem to mind at all,
almost as if he didn't care, or didn't -feel- the things going on around him.
He had
short, messy brown hair that broke off in to many floppy like strands; falling
off to the side and infront of a handsome yet child-like face. Though at the
moment the child-like features were screwed up with a few emotions that
normally wouldn't be found there: despair, confusion, and slight anger? Yes, it
was a mix of these emotions, just as his clothes were; A coffee colored sweater
mixed with whites and lighter browns; a dark pair of blue jeans to be pulled up
under the garment along with a pair of brown shoes. He wore so many colors of
brown. So many browns that it happened to bring out the sapphire blue of his
eyes more. It also brought out the continuous sadness that flowed there. This
was the repliod known as X, leader of the Maverick Hunters 17th unit... one of
the best there was, a hero to many.
Yet X didn't
feel much like a hero at that moment, even though Sigma had currently been
defeated and the mavericks had fled once again with their current loss. Just
like X had fled because of his loss. The mavericks suffered now like he did for
they had both lost something that they had held dear; something that they
needed and relied on though in this case the reasons for 'need' and 'rely'
were two different meanings among themselves. It was simply; X didn't need the
one he had lost for power or to look to for orders... for something to do. No,
he never had done that... it had been much different than that. X needed the
one he had lost to be by his side, to be a friend he could turn to for help...
'- But
you're not here anymore... you had to "leave" -'
Yes, leave
was a better way to put it. It was better to look at it that way after all.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
That thought
had been a bitter one, the blue orbs starting to shimmer as tears started to
form. They were tears X tried to fight against though for he knew; he knew that
it was somehow his fault... if only... if only he could tell that person he was
sorry now; sorry for letting it happen... sorry for never telling the other how
he felt.
'- If
only I could find you again. I've hidden so many things from you and now you
will never know... -'
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
X's steps
came to slow now; the constant 'crunch' and 'crack' of his feet
being lifted and placed into the deep snow eventually coming to sound no more.
He had stopped now, his wanderings having led him to what had once been a
beautiful park. Now it was dead looking, the trees glistening with ice, and an
untouched body of snow (That made the paths blend into everything else that it
had once been separated from.) waiting to be explored yet again.
X could tell
that he was standing on one of these paths for the area around spread out into
a circular shape before trees would dot the land again. There were also the forms
of benches set around and a fountain that was set in the circle's center; A
fountain that he now stood before. It stood taller than he was; built of an
ancient looking stone that had ice hanging off its edges; even on the stone
angel that was set on top of a small stone arc. The angel looked sad in her
stone frozen robes that lacked a true color. Much like her wavy hair that split
over a fair face and the robes she wore; outstretched arms pushed out a little,
the right elbow bent while the fingers were wrapped safely around a harp. (The
left hand using its fingers to possibly pluck a silent note from this stone
harp.) Her robes were pushed back away from her arms, stopping near the elbow.
Water had once poured from several places of her harp but now it was frozen,
just like her folded wings and the pool below her feet.
Tell me your secrets
Ask me your questions...
X remembered
the fountain well, (It was where he used to come when he was troubled or sad.)
and like before it seemed to be asking him his troubles; like before, the angel
would seem to always listen to what he had to say... to his secrets that she
seemed to wish to know. X would tell her them... everything no matter what it
was that was on his mind. X also remembered something else about this fountain.
He remembered that his "brooding" place had been discovered.
It was something he remembered and would never forget.
Oh let's go back to the start.
X remembered
that day well; it was nice and sunny, the trees lush and green while the paths
remained separate from the grass and flowers that sprouted up and around its
curving ways; the fountains and benches alive like the animals that wandered
there. It was a beautiful day yet X's spirits hadn't been lifted by the sweet
smells of spring nor the beauties it held. It just didn't have an effect on him
like it usually did. (Not this day anyway.)
That day
something bad had happened; (or it was in his views) that day he had let
someone die... he hadn't gotten her to the hospital in time. If only he had
acted faster... he hadn't so the girl had died...
X sighed
then, lifting his head to look up at the face of the angel that was half hidden
by a spew of water that came from the fountain she was perched on. This only
seemed to improve her beauty; with the sun shining down on her, making the
water seem to glitter and glisten a little more; it did not raise X's spirits
or change his current train of thought though. Nothing could at this point in
time.
Everything
was the same, repeating circle that he had grown used to seeing: death, others
being sad due to the deaths of their loved ones... there were just many things
that were the same... all because of the mavericks.
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
It was because
of the mavericks that there was a war. A war that both human and repliod had
died daily in. They had done nothing either... they had just been at the wrong
place at the wrong time.
"Hey
there you are. Thought I lost you for a second."
The voice
startled X for it was familiar and it had seemed to come from out of nowhere.
(Probably because he hadn't been paying attention...) Plus it was something he
didn't expect to happen, for someone to find out about his place to go. That's
why he turned around so quickly, looking just as shocked as he felt at that
moment; the shock only grew when he realized who it was. What was... why was...
"Why
are you here?" X's voice rung out in that soft, child-like tone, though it
shook as if he were suddenly very nervous. (Which he was.)
"What
do you mean? Can't I follow my 'best friend' so I can find out what's
wrong?" The voice that reached X's ears was full of sarcasm that its owner
had always used; it was a trait that would never disappear.
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
X remembered
that day so well... they had talked about the death and he had been
comforted...
"It's
not your fault, ya know? Deaths happen so don't let this one get to ya."
It wasn't the best of words...
'- It was
your way of showing you cared. -'
X had never
turned away from that fountain while his friend spoke to him. He only watched
the water that pooled out from several places on the harp in a gentle spray; it
was so beautiful, just like the repliod behind him.
'- You
would never realize that though. -'
"Yeah
but... I could have changed that. I could have saved her." It was like
running around in a circle, the way X kept thinking he could have saved
someone; no matter what the repliod behind him said it wouldn't change X's
thoughts. X heard a sigh then, right after he had spoken then silence.
'- Oh how
different you were from me... yet we were still friends. Best friends... -'
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard...
The silence
had lasted for what seemed to be hours; (When it had only been a few minutes.)
it finally ended not with words but with actions. X felt arms encircling over
his shoulders and with a light pull, X felt himself being pulled back until his
back was pressed gently into his friends chest. (They both hadn't been wearing
armor.) "X, just relax, you did your best... don't brood on it. It just
doesn't suit you." It was a comforting hug, allowing X to know that
someone was there for him, to hold him, to comfort him, and to be there for
him... a friend.
Oh
take me back to the start...
That hug had
made the difference for X. It made him feel that his friend cared more than he
would ever let on. In words that was, the repliod never had showed much of a
caring attitude with his words.
'- Of
course you always do that... make yourself look tough so others don't walk over
you. -'
I was just guessing at numbers and
figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
That thought
had been a desperate guess; X had hoped that the thought had been true but he
never could tell if it was or not by the actions he received from the other. It
was just the way the things had been between the two. They had understood each
other though rarely showed it 'out loud.' They never held any serious
conversations about it either... always goofing off or getting a mission done.
'- If
only it were true and if only I could tell you... -'' There his mind went
again, trailing off but oh how he wanted to say those words he had longed to
say; it wasn't possible now, someone that wasn't there couldn't hear them. '-
Why did you have to leave?! Why don't you just come back? -'
Questions of science, science and
progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.
X couldn't
help but to feel betrayed. He felt alone... it was just like the winter world
that surrounded him: dead and cold; It was just like the angel that was now
frozen in her beauty, stuck in her own breath taking pose. Just like the pose
of his friend, standing tall and mighty, a pose that would never falter or
break by any oncoming challenge. Yet it -had- been broken in the end and
X felt betrayed because of this and a few simple words...
"Just
remember, I'll always be here for you X! Just tell me your problems and I'll -try-
to solve them... just don't come whining every other day to me and it's all
good!" Those words had been announced with a cocky grin; confident as
always... though those words hadn't been what x had wanted to hear that day...
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt
me
Oh I rush to the start
"It's
not the same..." He spoke softly as the tears gathered further at the
corners of his eyes, a few coming to run over the brim of his eye... slowly
trickling down his cheek.
/"What's
not the same?" He heard the voice he wanted to hear at that moment;
he saw the curious orbs of emerald green demanding to know what was up with
him.
"Why
did you leave? You're supposed to be here right now like you said you'd always
be."
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are.
The voice he
had wanted to hear didn't answer; either that or there was an awful long
pause... until...
/"I
have my reasons.... though I haven't gone anywhere. Now answer -my- question,
X"
'- But
you have gone somewhere...-' The thought came and went with another: What
reasons? X wanted to ask this so badly but... the words wouldn't come for he
knew the answer would never be told. It was part of his mind anyway... not like
the real thing would be behind him if he turned around... even though he longed
for it to be the real thing...
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
"It's
just all in my head" '- All in my head -' He thought this over and
over again, the tears coming and falling over and over in a never-ending flow.
He didn't want to admit that it was just a voice he had created in his head,
not the real thing; he wanted to turn around to see the real thing standing
there, annoyed with the way he was acting. Yet turning around would mean seeing
the truth; a truth he didn't know of anymore. He sobbed.
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard.
/"Hey X, why are you crying?"
He heard the voice yet again, speaking to him softly... soothingly...
There was
a flicker of motion to his right... a wisp of gold and a touch of shine. Then
he felt arms around him once more though it was light, feathery and gentle? Or
was it not there at all, all there in his head again? X didn't know but he just
closed his eyes. How nice it felt, to feel that presence there...
"Promise
me... you'll come back... come back," X paused a moment, waiting to be
answered like he had waited before; hoping he had been heard; somehow, some
way.
/"What
gave you the idea that I'm not back?"
"Come
back so I can tell you..."
Oh let's go back to the start
X turned
now, the feathery like touch being rejected; pushed back as blue eyes came to
open...
... Staring
for a long moment.
A wisp of
gold locks; flashy eyes of emerald green... big hands and a handsome face; that
smirk... '- That's how I've always seen you. Someone I wanted to be from the
start. Someone I still want to be and-- -'
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
The thought
was never finished for X fell to his knees in a fit of shaken sobs. Why...
why?! It just wasn't fair...
"Wait
for me..." A beg... a plea, his own arms coming up to wrap around himself.
He felt so alone now, like the warm, comforting cover that had been wrapped
around him had suddenly been yanked free, leaving behind a dull, aching pain in
his chest. It just felt so bad, the pain in his heart... the longing and pain.
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
"Please
wait for me... you can't leave..." But he looked up now and saw his friend
'walking away'... moving farther and farther away...
X felt
himself 'reaching out' now, though it was no use. The figure just kept 'walking
away'... away... "You said you'd never leave!" His voice didn't
seem to reach the figure... the figure was just too 'far' away.
He bowed his
head then, his eyes closing tightly now. The tears still flowed while they
trickled down his cheek only to spill from his chin, to drop to the chilled
ground below.
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.
The minutes
flowed by, came and went like the tick of a clock; X didn't move. He only continued
to sob, realizing that he was alone now. His friend would no longer be there to
comfort him; to tell him everything was going to be all right.
"I
never got to tell you how much I cared... how much you meant to me..." As
the words left X saw the scene again; his friend, mighty as ever, leaping out
in to the oncoming swing of Sigma's saber... falling then as X launched the
final shot to the maverick leader's head...
... It was
his entire fault; he should have acted quicker. If only he had then... then...
"I'll
be back bud. Remember, hell can't keep me there forever. I'm always with you,
X."
That voice
had sounded so weak and yet it was filled with confidence. He -would- be
back, his friend... it was a silent promise that had been made.
"You'll
be back... then I can tell you... everything." The image of his friend
dying in his arms faded slowly; X opened his eyes while tilting his head back,
to peer up in to the snowy sea above. He just watched the snowfall; his eyes
still gleaming fresh with tears. He had finally accepted that he was finally
dead... "You'll be back, Zero."
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.
He continued
to watch then, a small, sad smile creeping up on to his features as the blue
eyes softened at what he saw above.
Ok, so I gave it away at the end, the name of who it was
but it was probably obvious with the 'friend' and the vague description. I did
that on purpose! ; Well I hope I hid that slightly and I hope I hid what X
wanted to tell Zero along with whether Zero left at first or died. Also with
what X saw at the end. I also hope I fit the lyrics into the right places cause
they sure felt right to me. I hope you guys enjoyed reading! And again, you can
take this as yaoi or strong friendship. Personally I take it as strong
friendship because wouldn't you be extremely sad if you saw your friend die and
it was to protect you? I would be and I would be thinking on it a lot. Kinda
the idea I got when I was listening to the song one day. That someone lost
something and couldn't quite get over it, going back to the start and
remembering old times, trying to figure out where they went wrong etc. cc
That's my thought on it, anywho!
The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.
