Disclaimer.Hack is not mine, don't sue me.
Info: This story takes place after the defeat of Magus in Mutation. Kite's POV of the events of the corruption of the servers and how the weight of everything he's gone through is slowly destroying him. An angst filled story...I love angst.
A/N: Please, if you read this story be ever so kind enough to review...thank you.
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Broken: Chapter 1: Breaking Point
"DAMMIT!!!" Kite screamed into the open air, his voice echoing out over the currents of the virtual wind. At times he was amazed at the pure realism of the digital world, but those moments of wonder and fascination seemed so long forgotten, that The World no longer held it's wondrous spell over him. Now it all seemed as if he were drifting in the middle of the ocean with a great weight tied around his neck. Even trying to keep his head above water was an effort, and it was a struggle he was desperately losing.
Taking two unsure steps from the point in which he had gated into this field, Kite collapsed to his knees and felt the tears burn at the corners of his eyes. It had all gone so wrong. When he had gotten the bracelet from Aura, when Orca...Yasuhiko went into a coma, he had a reason, he truly felt justified for what he was doing. But that was before. Before the defeat of Magus, before returning to Carmina Gadelica and seeing the viral displacement of random binary code pepper the various buildings, ground and sky of the cultural city, leaving ugly blotches of color that revealed the system code beneath the skin textures of the city. What had he done?
If this was only the third Phase to be defeated, if it caused this kind of system error to occur after just the third battle, then what would happen after the next, or the final Phase was defeated? Would the whole system shut down in error? Would they be helping the coma victims at all? He no longer knew that answer, and looking back over the past couple of months, at the fear of confronting the Phases with his partner, knowing that if they had made even one mistake they would end their adventure the same way as Orca, he realized he never knew that answer. It was never a certainty that they was doing the right thing, only a blind hope that in some vain recess of his mind, he could make a difference, could bring back the coma patients and fix The World, save The World. How arrogant.
Of course, there was so much more than the simply the corruption of the Root Towns, it seemed chaos was spreading frantically through every portion of his life. He saw Mia, the oddly designed cat-character sway drunkenly through Carmina Gadelica, yet when approached her, reached his hand out to steady her and ask her what was wrong, she lashed out at him in an anger akin to madness. He couldn't deny it hadn't terrified him. But then, he wasn't very close to Mia in the first place, she seemed to only tag along on whatever adventure she wanted to, so maybe somewhere within the edited character, she harbored some madness, kept it hidden all this time. Honestly, he doubted this though; it could simply have been that the breakdown of the system was too much for her, just as it had been for Mistral.
He remembered that too. In fact, after she told him, he came immediately to this random field from the Delta Server...wanting to be alone, wanting to drown in his own uncertainty. Mistral...a bored housewife on an apparently perpetual sugar high that only wanted a little adventure to break up the monotony of her day, had found this all too much to handle. But when she told him she was going to have a baby, that she could no longer take the risks of all the dangers he seemed to knowingly yet unwillingly involve himself in, his whole world seemed to crash around him. If Mistral had been unable to handle the risks in what they were all doing, how many of his friends would desert him too. Of course, he wouldn't blame them, none of them, if they decided to leave...in fact; he wanted nothing more than to desert The World himself.
But then, there was BlackRose. She had had her own mission from the start, and so many times she was his motivation and source of inspiration for continuing in this arrogant quest to save The World. But seeing her when they returned victorious from defeating Magus, seeing the utter terror screaming from her eyes that seemed to mirror his own fear of what had become of Carmina Gadelica, he wondered if she wasn't feeling the same uncertainty he was. Could they continue to risk The World like they did? More importantly, if she chose Mistral's path, simply walk away...would he have the courage to continue without her? It was a rhetorical question of course, he knew he wouldn't, she was the force behind his will, and he knew he would lose the moment she left.
Maybe Lios was right all along; maybe they had overstepped their bounds. Maybe they were only illegal players, showing their own ignorance in believing they could make a difference. Sure, he had the bracelet, but had it given him anything but grief? Every time he used it, he remembered Yasuhiko being data drained by Skeith. Was it anything he truly wanted? All he wanted was to play within The World...make some new friends and waste some time on what he originally perceived as 'only a game.' But he couldn't get that back...too much has already happened. Rumors that hackers were responsible for the corruption of The World. By hackers, CC Corp meant Helba, and just as likely, BlackRose and himself. Helba was a hacker...but to paint himself and BlackRose with the same brush was a bit harsh. Yet that caused him only more trouble, his conscience screaming angrily at him for involving BlackRose in the first place, for her to face the same persecution he did. All of it, the uncertainty, the accusations, the fear...it was all too much for him to handle. And he sat alone in the isolated field, not even aware that he could no longer see through the tears that clouded his eyes.
He reached his left hand to wrist of his right arm and searched the area just above his hand with his fingers, seeking out the bracelet that was invisible to him. He wanted to tug at it, rip it away from his body. Dispose of it because no one should have this cursed item. What was the point of it? If using it only caused more problems...then getting rid of it should fix it. All he ever wanted was to play the game, he wasn't a hero, he was just a kid pretending to be a hero, and even that sounded arrogant to him.
But he couldn't find the bracelet, couldn't find the source of all of his worries and fears, couldn't tear it away from his arm and be free of it, so he picked up his two short swords, and standing unsteadily, hurled them as hard as could into the field.
"I can't do this anymore!" He screamed, his voice cracking from the strain as he forced his words out harder than intended. "I don't want it! Just take it away from me...I don't deserve it. Please..." He begged now, his voice slipping as he felt back to his knees, tears finding their way from his eyes once more. "Just let me go. I can't handle this anymore."
But no voice called out to him, no words of comfort found their way to his troubled mind. All that moved within The World was the virtual wind that carried his voice into some unknown, distant domain. When it all came down to it...he was alone. Aura, the girl who put her faith in him to save her would not come to comfort him. All he could do was scream at the emptiness around him, and pray he could find a way out of his fate.
Info: This story takes place after the defeat of Magus in Mutation. Kite's POV of the events of the corruption of the servers and how the weight of everything he's gone through is slowly destroying him. An angst filled story...I love angst.
A/N: Please, if you read this story be ever so kind enough to review...thank you.
# # #
Broken: Chapter 1: Breaking Point
"DAMMIT!!!" Kite screamed into the open air, his voice echoing out over the currents of the virtual wind. At times he was amazed at the pure realism of the digital world, but those moments of wonder and fascination seemed so long forgotten, that The World no longer held it's wondrous spell over him. Now it all seemed as if he were drifting in the middle of the ocean with a great weight tied around his neck. Even trying to keep his head above water was an effort, and it was a struggle he was desperately losing.
Taking two unsure steps from the point in which he had gated into this field, Kite collapsed to his knees and felt the tears burn at the corners of his eyes. It had all gone so wrong. When he had gotten the bracelet from Aura, when Orca...Yasuhiko went into a coma, he had a reason, he truly felt justified for what he was doing. But that was before. Before the defeat of Magus, before returning to Carmina Gadelica and seeing the viral displacement of random binary code pepper the various buildings, ground and sky of the cultural city, leaving ugly blotches of color that revealed the system code beneath the skin textures of the city. What had he done?
If this was only the third Phase to be defeated, if it caused this kind of system error to occur after just the third battle, then what would happen after the next, or the final Phase was defeated? Would the whole system shut down in error? Would they be helping the coma victims at all? He no longer knew that answer, and looking back over the past couple of months, at the fear of confronting the Phases with his partner, knowing that if they had made even one mistake they would end their adventure the same way as Orca, he realized he never knew that answer. It was never a certainty that they was doing the right thing, only a blind hope that in some vain recess of his mind, he could make a difference, could bring back the coma patients and fix The World, save The World. How arrogant.
Of course, there was so much more than the simply the corruption of the Root Towns, it seemed chaos was spreading frantically through every portion of his life. He saw Mia, the oddly designed cat-character sway drunkenly through Carmina Gadelica, yet when approached her, reached his hand out to steady her and ask her what was wrong, she lashed out at him in an anger akin to madness. He couldn't deny it hadn't terrified him. But then, he wasn't very close to Mia in the first place, she seemed to only tag along on whatever adventure she wanted to, so maybe somewhere within the edited character, she harbored some madness, kept it hidden all this time. Honestly, he doubted this though; it could simply have been that the breakdown of the system was too much for her, just as it had been for Mistral.
He remembered that too. In fact, after she told him, he came immediately to this random field from the Delta Server...wanting to be alone, wanting to drown in his own uncertainty. Mistral...a bored housewife on an apparently perpetual sugar high that only wanted a little adventure to break up the monotony of her day, had found this all too much to handle. But when she told him she was going to have a baby, that she could no longer take the risks of all the dangers he seemed to knowingly yet unwillingly involve himself in, his whole world seemed to crash around him. If Mistral had been unable to handle the risks in what they were all doing, how many of his friends would desert him too. Of course, he wouldn't blame them, none of them, if they decided to leave...in fact; he wanted nothing more than to desert The World himself.
But then, there was BlackRose. She had had her own mission from the start, and so many times she was his motivation and source of inspiration for continuing in this arrogant quest to save The World. But seeing her when they returned victorious from defeating Magus, seeing the utter terror screaming from her eyes that seemed to mirror his own fear of what had become of Carmina Gadelica, he wondered if she wasn't feeling the same uncertainty he was. Could they continue to risk The World like they did? More importantly, if she chose Mistral's path, simply walk away...would he have the courage to continue without her? It was a rhetorical question of course, he knew he wouldn't, she was the force behind his will, and he knew he would lose the moment she left.
Maybe Lios was right all along; maybe they had overstepped their bounds. Maybe they were only illegal players, showing their own ignorance in believing they could make a difference. Sure, he had the bracelet, but had it given him anything but grief? Every time he used it, he remembered Yasuhiko being data drained by Skeith. Was it anything he truly wanted? All he wanted was to play within The World...make some new friends and waste some time on what he originally perceived as 'only a game.' But he couldn't get that back...too much has already happened. Rumors that hackers were responsible for the corruption of The World. By hackers, CC Corp meant Helba, and just as likely, BlackRose and himself. Helba was a hacker...but to paint himself and BlackRose with the same brush was a bit harsh. Yet that caused him only more trouble, his conscience screaming angrily at him for involving BlackRose in the first place, for her to face the same persecution he did. All of it, the uncertainty, the accusations, the fear...it was all too much for him to handle. And he sat alone in the isolated field, not even aware that he could no longer see through the tears that clouded his eyes.
He reached his left hand to wrist of his right arm and searched the area just above his hand with his fingers, seeking out the bracelet that was invisible to him. He wanted to tug at it, rip it away from his body. Dispose of it because no one should have this cursed item. What was the point of it? If using it only caused more problems...then getting rid of it should fix it. All he ever wanted was to play the game, he wasn't a hero, he was just a kid pretending to be a hero, and even that sounded arrogant to him.
But he couldn't find the bracelet, couldn't find the source of all of his worries and fears, couldn't tear it away from his arm and be free of it, so he picked up his two short swords, and standing unsteadily, hurled them as hard as could into the field.
"I can't do this anymore!" He screamed, his voice cracking from the strain as he forced his words out harder than intended. "I don't want it! Just take it away from me...I don't deserve it. Please..." He begged now, his voice slipping as he felt back to his knees, tears finding their way from his eyes once more. "Just let me go. I can't handle this anymore."
But no voice called out to him, no words of comfort found their way to his troubled mind. All that moved within The World was the virtual wind that carried his voice into some unknown, distant domain. When it all came down to it...he was alone. Aura, the girl who put her faith in him to save her would not come to comfort him. All he could do was scream at the emptiness around him, and pray he could find a way out of his fate.