Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own them. If I did then this wouldn't be fan fiction Sigh Warning, this is my first attempt at Slash and I think this is the first story that's anyone has used this pairing for. Or at Least is stupid enough to admit to it. One shot, please read and review comments on how to improve welcome. Comments telling me I'm mad also excepted.
"Thriller/Chiller"
This was a bad, bad situation to be in. How they had gotten this far was anyone's guess but somehow they had. And somehow they had been discovered. And now somehow they where going to have to explain it. That's a lot of somehow for a very tricky situation. And as his partner in, well whatever it was they had going, hastened to protect his modesty and precious parts south of the border, it looked like it was up to him to try and explain. But how? He did have the section 8 attempts to fall back on but this was likely to get him a blue discharge. Holy Toledo not good! Klinger sighed as he remembered how this began.
Klinger was sat in the o club trying not to cry. It had been a beautiful service, would have been anyway if wounded hadn't cut it short. And with wounded came blood. Lots of it. Some of which naturally ended up on the weeding dress. His weeding dress which had been in his family for generations. He had just spent the last hour scrubbing at it trying to remove the blood. Eventually one of the guys in charge of laundry took pity on him and promised to remove it free of charge. The guys in laundry knew what they where doing, Klinger conceded as he handed over the precious white dress. After all the bloodstained scrubs always came back from there whiter than Major Houlihan's smile. And she seemed radiant today as Colonel Potter led her down the aisle. Klinger sipped at his beer and turned round when he heard the door open. Ah talking of people looking radiant this was one feller that didn't. He looked as though he had lost his best friend. Well yeah actually he had. He also looked like he was desperately trying not to cry as he sat down heavily on the bar stool. Even Igor looked surprised as their new companion ordered a beer. God he must be depressed if his actually Gasp Drinking. And if he is drinking than maybe tonight was the night to act on hidden feeling. Igor served him his beer without comment and went to collect discarded bottles from the rest of the tables.
Klinger was shook from his thoughts as He realised that the kid was now stirring at the 2 of them. Oh yeah Klinger was also without the benefit of clothes. Well Things had been getting rather heated before they had been unexpectedly interrupted. He reached for his dress as their, um well Spectator? , muttered something then raced out. "Oh Crap!" Klinger swore. Well of all the people that had to discover them it would have to be him. He glanced at the door, and then to his companion "I better yeah!" And with that he raced off after him.
They had nearly been caught before. It was foolish of them to go at it in the showers but they figured they would be safe at half past 2 in the morning. Apart from they forgot about the after weeding party that the o'club was playing host to. Klinger wasn't so quiet about encouraging people or pointing out what he liked. And folks his partner was so uptight he needed plenty of encouraging. It seemed like his objections to George was his way of trying to cover up his own feelings. That he liked men and women. It was later that night and naturally alcohol played a part. Alcohol was always needed for this fellow. However he froze when he heard someone walking past the showers. A great shame as he was a very good student and could do amazing things with his tongue and the whole of klingers body. However looking back probably for the best as he dove into a different stall just in time. Or at the wrong time depending on your way of looking at it. Klinger was very glad the water was freezing cold as BJ stumbled in with one very drunk Hawkeye.
"Oh don't mind us. This one had too much to drink and we got wounded expected in the morning." BJ explained as they stumbled into the last available stall.
"Oh I was just about done anyway" Frank said as he grabbed his towel. The interruption sobering him enough to realise what He had been doing. He dried off quickly and bolted out of there. BJ turned the shower on Hawkeye whom seemed to find the whole situation very amusing. Klinger found his present situation anything but. It was almost 4 o clock before he emerged from the showers that night.
And speaking of un amusing situations this was definitely up there. Klinger finally caught up with the unintentional intruder.
"Hey kid you okay?" He asked gently, his baritone almost soothing. The kid was in shock, unsurprising as he did get an eyeful.
"Him? And you? Jeez" He removed his hat and clutched it close to his chest.
"Yeah"
"I knew but I didn't want to ya know, know?"
Urgh Naturally the kid would know, would be able to sense it, how could he not? His nickname wasn't Radar because he was a tracking device after all.
"I could here all these things, thoughts between the two of you. I didn't understand what they meant, I just thought it was the same type of thing everyone else did when they got drunk. But not everyone does that and you aren't drunk are you?" His naivety was sweet at times, now it was a complication. The two of them had probably scared him for life.
"No I'm not drunk."
"Well is this another section 8 thing then?" Radar asked hopefully. That hope was dashed when Klinger shuck his head.
"No it's not another section 8 thing. I would never get others involved in that. Not like it matters cos now it looks like i'm going home on a blue discharge."
"No your not. I'm not going to tell. You're still my friend right. Just don't think bout doing that kind of thing on me."
"Never, kid. Seriously though are you okay?"
"I got to go take a shower, that image is just all like ew."
Klinger punched Radars arm lightly. "I guess it is kind of gross." And with that he went back on his way to try rectify a Major problem.
The first time they actually managed to get together a bit more intimately was awkward. Frank had ended up crying on Klingers shoulder, going on about how it wasn't fair. How he loved Margaret and how he was so much better then lousy Donald Pernoffscott. Then a couple of more drinks later he had moved on to ask why nobody liked him. After klinger explained because he was a regular army clown Frank had another drink and talked about his childhood. Whilst he had money and his mother his family took the Mick out of him all the time. Klinger wasn't really surprised to find out frank was the youngest child and the runt of his litter. He was however surprised to find out he didn't really like being in the army and had only joined to try and seek his fathers approval. What surprised Klinger was Frank was actually crying on his shoulder in the first place. It was so unlike him to even cry…...yet on an enlisted man shoulder. What was becoming perfectly clear was there was no way he could go back to the swamp tonight. Not without disturbing the other swamp rats. And in franks present mood he would be liable to do something stupid that he would doubtlessly regret later. That's how Klinger ended up with him in his tent. And being surrounded by dresses seemed to do something to frank. He was well and truly sloshed and klinger was in a particularly nice dress. Margaret had one similar, very similar. Klinger knew that, that's why he made it. Maybe he was crazy but the lipless wonder did something for him. And the fact Frank was now kissing him didn't phase him at all. He was more than willing to go along with it.
Klinger finally found Frank in the showers scrubbing away imaginary dirt. Frank looked up as Klinger softly called out his name.
"Go away!" He said softly but yet it was still enough to frighten Klinger. "Not going to happen no more."
"Right. Okay, you ever change your mind then you know where to find me." He answered equally as softly as he sadly turned away and out the door. There, well whatever it was, had been brief, lasted only two weeks but Frank hated himself for it. Klinger however would cherish it, he knew what it was like to give pleasure for someone he cared for, always would no matter what.
Klinger by now was out of ear shot. Frank thought everyone was but unknown to him Radar Heard everything he said next.
"Oh God, I did it again. I let a man do that to me again…and I did it back." He scrubbed away at his already raw skin with the soap. He realised as the soap stung at his skin, he would never feel truly clean again. They had been caught and Frank was thankful for that. He had a suspicion that Radar wouldn't tell and even if he did, Frank was the superior officer. Tears again fell down his face. "I really did love her and now she's gone. Did you ever love me really? Does anyone really love me?" With that he started to cluck like a chicken. Hawkeye and BJ found him later on, still Clucking away rocking back and forth under the cold water.
It was later that week when Frank left camp for the last time. BJ and Hawkeye worried about him and his clucking arranged some r and r for him. When he reached Tokeyo worrying reports about his behaviour reached camp. He wouldn't be coming back. Everyone celebrated but one person.
"Klinger? You okay?" Radar asked after spotting him alone in the mess tent. Klinger didn't answer.
"You, um, really liked him didn't you?" Radar asked quietly. Klinger nodded mutely, the so called food on his tray suddenly becoming really interesting. Radar decided to do something his mama told him never to do. Lie. "He really liked you to" He muttered out. Klinger smiled slightly as Radar walked away.
"Nice try kid. He never did but it's nice to believe it!" And with that he realised that maybe Radar wasn't as naïve as he seemed after all.