I'm sorry it took so long...again. Writer's block, plus finals at school and a new quarter, which means all new classes, plus my internet flatly refused to work. And on top of all that, I found out that my kitty has diabetes! Not a good time for me...

This was really hard to end. My muse sensed that it was ending, and thus diverted my attention to all of my incomplete one-shots. So I wrote this muse-less, andI have a very bad feeling you all are going to hate me after this chapter. Hate me.

This is the end.

The last shout-outs...until I post something else...I feel so sad...

darK crimsoN teaRs- Writer's block, dearie. And finals. Finals suck. And the fact that I can't end anything to save my life. Thinking up an ending, even this crappy one, was hard. Really hard.

Sagistar- I like kudos. Thanks for reading, oh supreme ruler of heck and insufficient light.

Pyro Lady- the X-men are dead, remember? Silly goose, thanks for reviewing.

Idypebsaby- Am I the only one who thought the confetti was really clever? I was torn between making her a Mary-Sue and making her like a mary-sue but not really.

Angel of the Fallen Stars- It was supposed to be lame! That's the point. I'm trying to push Magneto to a psychotic breakdown.

xmengirlzrule- I tried to update soon, I really did. Sorry 'bout that. Thanks for reviewing.

psychobunny410- John cracks me up too. I love him so much. I couldn't grow up to that show, because I think I was a year old when it started...I might have watched it, but I can't remember it now. And...it's not so bad, it's just a bit different from the Remy-voice I know.

Disclaimer- And then the bunnies came, and the music notes didn't stand a chance...

OOO

Piotr, John, Remy, and Pietro had long ago been kicked out of the lab Bertha was currently inhabiting. Magneto had work to do, and, quite frankly, he was sick of the boys ogling Bertha constantly. Magneto had been running experiments and tests and whatnot, looking for some way to make Bertha into this super-powerful mutant.

He had tried everything. Really, truly, everything. Not just almost everything, not just all plausible options, not just all logical courses of action. No, Magneto had really exhausted every option and explored every possibility. He had come up with nil. Nothing. Nada. There was no possible way that Bertha could possibly be some superpowered mutant. Heck, she was barely worthy of being called mutant at all. Her powers were nothing short of worthless.

Magneto was certain he was going insane. he couldn't remember how long he'd been pouring over equations and formulas and theories and other scientifical things. He could barely remember which ones he'd tried. Maybe the bourbon he'd confiscated from Gambit had something to do with that...Magneto jerked himself back to the present.

From his experiments and ponderings, Magneto had come to this conclusion.

He gave up.

OOO

"Acolytes! We're goin' on a lil' trip!" Magneto slurred as he staggered into the Acolyte's living room. John immediately ran to find the camcorder, because it wasn't every day Magneto got drunk and acted like an idiot. Remy smirked.

"An' just where are we goin' on dis 'lil' trip'?" Remy asked.

"We're goin' to Charles' place!" Magneto shouted as John came running back.

"I'm gettin' it all, mates!" he cried as he put the camcorder to his eye.

"We are going to the X-Men's home?" Piotr questioned.

"I give up! They can..." Magneto trailed off and stared into space for a moment, apparently mesmerized by a dust particle, "They can have their stupid lil' baby back!"

"But she's so beautiful!" Remy and John cried simultaneously.

"You said you were not thinking of her like that!" Piotr accused. Remy and John just pouted.

"Come on, my boys, into the car!" Magneto cried giddily, "Someone go get...that one girl..."

And so they piled into the cars, off on another whirlwind adventure.

OOO

Xavier was mourning the untimely deaths of all of his students. Bertha's parents were off in the corner, looking uncertainly at each other, and occasionly twitching when Xavier's wails of "WHY!" got too loud.

That's when the sleek black car pulled up the manshion's driveway.

"OH CHARLES!" Magneto screamed, still in a world of drunken insanity.

"Magnus?" Xavier asked knavishly as he looked up from his anguished grieving. His face contorted in rage.

"HELLO CHARLES! I'VE COME TO GIVE HER BACK! I DON'T WANT HER ANYMORE!" Magneto yelled from the driveway.

"Magnus..." Xavier growled, completely ignoring Magneto's words. Bertha's parents looked up at the mention of 'her.'

"Who's 'she?'" Bertha's dad yelled from Xavier's study where he'd been hiding.

"This...person," Magneto shouted back while using his magic magnetic powers to float Bertha up to the window. Bertha's parents looked at Bertha.

"DARLING!" they cried in unison as they ran and hugged their long-lost daughter, whom they recognized even though she was now a teenager and very very old and not at all resembling her baby self. It's one of the skills of parents. They always know everything.

Xavier had wheeled up to the window, ignoring the happy reunion of parents and child.

"MAGNUS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Xavier screamed. Magneto looked at him in total drunken confusion.

"YOU KILLED MY X-MEN!" Xavier screeched.

"What?" Magneto asked, completely and utterly confused, as he was not at the battle when the X-Men all died.Unfortunately, his ignorance would not save him.

With a final tortured wail, Xavier launched a psionic attack on Magneto and the Acolytes. Magneto, who had forgotten in his drunkeness to wear his beloved helmet, was struck full force by the attack, which caused his powers to go haywire. All of the Acolyte's powers reacted the same.

In fact, Xavier was so overcome by grief that he mis-calculated the attack, and every mutants' power started going berserk.

Magneto's powers made the earth's magnetic field go all kinky, and geese started to crash into each other in the sky(1).

Pyro's powers caused all of the fires in the world to grow bigger. And bigger. And BIGGER.

Colossus, Quicksilver, Toad, and Blob's powers did nothing because, well, they're lame. The powers, not the people.

Mastermind's powers made everyone think they were cool British rock stars.

THE Scarlet Witch's powers made a comet crash into Russia, where the crazy Russian spies live.

Other mutants' powers did other stuff.

Bertha made some confetti in the corner.

And to top it all off, Gambit's powers charged up the earth and it exploded in a giant fireball of kinetic energy, killing everything and everyone.

Alas.

There's nothing more to tell, as now everyone is dead.

Tah-tah!

OOO

(1) Geese navigate using magnetic fields, unless I'm being stupid, thus they would crash into each other or something if the fields were being not were they should be! So there.

That was a really lame ending, a la "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Have you seen the ending for that? It's so "WTF?"

That's the end folks...I'm gonna miss you all.

I'm so sad right now. I'll go work on another story...or watch TV.

I bid you all adieu!

FIN