Title: Twisted Fairytale
Author: Kisu
Rating: PG
Pairings: SasuNaru and GaaNaru
A/N: Yay another chapter! I swore I started a chapter of this fic but I must have deleted or it must have gotten lost somewhere? The pairing in the end is still undecided, but most likely it'll be SasuNaru. Unless…I decide otherwise…MUAHAHAHA!(coughcough) The votes were 23 to 7, and I didn't include the "both" votes but either way I think SasuNaru will win... I especially love the suggestion for Neji/Ramen!
Uhm, reviews will be replied to in the next chapter. Not this chapter XP. But so sorry for the long wait, I've been very busy…failing skool. But it's all over…finals that is…and I get to type up a storm! ENJOY!
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, only to Kishimoto-sama!
Chapter 8: Of Nightly Swims and Dango
The hot wind tore across the sandy landscape, bringing grains of sand swirling into the air. This caused an army of gallant soldiers to drop their weapons, to start choking and coughing as these foreign particles went up their noses. Only one person braved the burning wind and allowed the granules to fly freely into his crimson red hair.
The brave Desert prince Gaara watched with hard and determined eyes as the army recollected themselves. He turned around to stare at his older brother and sister who stood behind him looking slightly bored. Then, with a soft sigh Gaara bent down and picked up a handful of sand…and placed it in his pocket.
"Not again." Kankuro muttered as Temari laughed nervously.
"Gaara. Dear." Temari began. "You remember when I said that you couldn't take that dead frog inside the palace?"
"Yes." Gaara blinked, after a moment of thought.
"The sand in your pocket belongs here, Gaara." Temari said, gently. "The desert is its home."
"Its home is with me." Gaara said, stubbornly.
"Won't you rather have it here with its family and friends?" Temari asked, readjusting the oversized fan that she had strapped onto her back.
"No." Gaara said. "Now, shut up before I tell Mother." Temari immediately clammed up and Kankuro shook his head.
"Kids these days have no respect." He sighed. Catching Gaara's gaze on him, he immediately stood up straight and coughed nervously.
"We move out to Uchiha Territory." Gaara announced to the army. The army saluted in unison and gave a war cry. "I'll meet you there…since you all are taking the train. Weaklings."
With that, Gaara turned and stalked away. Temari and Kankoru stared at Gaara in astonishment.
"W-Wait a minute! Gaara! You aren't using the train to get there?" Temari asked in shock.
"No way am I walking this burning wasteland." Kankoru announced, angrily.
"Then go catch the train." Gaara replied as he continued walking. The Desert army was already thinning out and Kankoru and Temari exchanged glances. They had been threatened by the Desert Empress to watch over Gaara. If something happened to him, they were going to be in deep poop. So, with a sigh they ran after Gaara.
Miserably, they trekked through the hot sand as the bullet train ran at lightning speed beneath their feet.
Surprisingly, it didn't take the occupants of the newly discovered secret lair to figure out that their blonde damsel was missing. After all, if the damsel wasn't in distress then what kind of fairytale would this be? There will be no plot! No action! No blood!
But of course in a room of brotherly rivalry, sugar high drunks, and horrifying teacher-student matching bowl cuts...only one person realized that our damsel was indeed in distress.
"Where is Naruto!?" Ino yelled. All the commotion stopped and all eyes turned toward the blonde who still had a crying Sakura latched to her waist.
"…the princess?" Lee tried timidly when everyone was shocked into silence by the blonde's emotional outburst.
"Of course the princess, you idiot." Itachi spoke up as he straightened. Slowly, he dusted off imaginary dust from his black cape and shook out the imaginary wrinkles.
Sasuke just stared at him with a disgusted look on his face.
"Yes, where did your baboon of a servant take my lovely fiancée?" Itachi continued as he strolled over to Orochimaru.
"Finally someone listens!" Orochimaru gasped. Jiraiya stirred and opened his eyes.
"Why am I still here?" He asked, as he glared at the evil sorcerer. "Why are all of us still here?" In a flash, he shot up from the floor where he had fallen asleep and rushed over to the couch. He had to make sure that the spot was empty. "Where is my Naru-chan?" He yelled angrily as his overprotective guardian side took over.
"Kabuto took him." Itachi replied. "Where did he take him, Orochimaru?"
"How should I know?" Orochimaru replied as he stalked over to the table where the tea and cookies had been lost from his interest. He sat down with a mighty swoop of his deep violet cape and brushed the tea and cookies to the floor with a swoop of a caped arm. Itachi narrowed his eyes.
"That's coming out of your monthly gold." He told him.
"What?" Orochimaru slammed his fist down onto the table. "How dare you!" Itachi just blinked at him and of course, since he was the prodigy of the Uchiha Dynasty and the heir, he lost interest in the evil sorcerer and turned his back toward him.
Ooh. Burn.
"The cherry festival is tonight and I have lost my date!" Itachi fumed. He stalked past Sasuke and the others, as they wordlessly parted for him. "What am I going to wear?"
"How dare you turn your back on me!" Orochimaru yelled, repeatedly slamming his fist down onto the table. Unfortunately, the impact was a bit too much and the table broke into two. "Kabuto! Clean it up!"
Silence.
"Kabuto!"
"What an idiot." Sasuke muttered as he left the lair. Lairs just weren't his thing. He didn't even think they were cool. But he was sure Itachi had a secret lair of his own. And when he found out where it was….
Sasuke glanced around before nearly melting into the shadows. "Bwaha." He mumbled, rubbing his hands together. He would give his brother a taste of his revenge!
Eyelashes dusted with the color of gold slowly fluttered against smooth creamy peach cheeks. The owner of these remarkable features slowly opened their eyes and revealed another trait of their beauty. Blue orbs, the color the color of the cloudless sky looked around. With a swift motion, the beauty sat up and caused a distress in the silk that that was on the bed.
Wait…bed?
Princess Naruto inhaled sharply and he looked down to stare at the "thing" he was wearing. His last dress was simple enough but this was all…frilly! He scrunched his eyes shut and let out a howl of outrage. "Who dares dress me in such distasteful clothing!?" He demanded.
"It was I, your highness." A smooth voice said. Naruto looked up to see the ridiculous curtains around the bed, part and it was none other than the stupid evil sorcerer's stupid henchman, Kabuto.
"Do you like this style of dress? It is from the west, your highness." Kabuto continued as he pushed up his spectacles. They glinted and from what Naruto saw, it seemed like he was a pervert. Therefore he gestured for him to come closer. Kabuto, thinking this was an invitation, smiled eagerly and slowly got onto the bed and advanced on Naruto. His fingers crept up the side of the bed and onto Naruto's thigh.
Naruto twitched and backhanded Kabuto hard, sending the poor man flying to the floor. He even bounced twice!
"Ouch." Naruto frowned as he shook out his hand. "If you ever touch me again, I'm going to make sure you never have kids!" With a second thought, he gathered the skirts of his dress and slid off the bed. "Better yet, I'll get my cousin to break every bone in your body!" With a huff, he walked over to the closet and was sidetracked by a freestanding mirror.
There he was, wearing a soft pink dress with lace and silk and…frilly! The skirts rustled as he moved closer and his eyes widened. "I look so cute!" He squealed before rushing out the door.
And poor Kabuto lay forgotten on the floor, just like our dear Kisame.
Gaara walked through the castle with utmost ease. After rescuing some poor half-drowned cat from the moat, he had easily gotten over it with his Desert magic. In fact, he used the sand in his pockets with a bit of water to stretch out into a bridge for him to walk on.
The guards were surprised when they saw him and even though he had done nothing wrong, they attacked him. Since he was feeling a bit defensive, he easily sent them over the wall and into the moat.
Now he walked aimlessly, sensing Naruto was nearby and of course he was probably in distress since he had been captured and all.
"She." Gaara mumbled in an attempt to remind himself. He was one of the few that knew Naruto's secret and would rather kill his two older siblings before telling anyone. Not that he wouldn't anyways.
As Gaara rounded the corner, a bundle of silk and lace crashed into him and the two of them fell to the floor. The Desert prince growled and fought his way out of the silk and lace. The sand in his pocket reacted to his emotional intensity.
"Gaara?" A familiar so sweet and innocent voice asked.
He looked up to see Naruto sprawled out before him in the pile of lace and silk.
Gaara's eyes widened and he quickly fought his way out of the pile. One hand reached into his pocket, closing in on the handful of sand. "I'll free you from this horrible creature." He announced. How dare they try to eat the princess? After all he was her fiancé.
"No, Gaara!" Naruto stood up and smoothed the dress out. "How do I look? It's a clothing style from the west."
A slow pink tint spread across the prince's face before blossoming into a fuchsia that clashed with the blood red tattoo at the corner of his forehead. "You look cute." Gaara finally said. "But it is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Take it off right now!"
"But…but you said it looked cute!" Naruto protested.
"I said 'you looked cute' not 'it looked cute'." Gaara objected. "And since the west is the Desert kingdom's enemy, we refuse to stand for this type of mockery of tasteful clothing!"
"Say what?" Naruto blinked after receiving a mouthful of Gaara's 'I'm smart and you're not' language. Tears filled his eyes and Gaara backed away, clearly confused at a sudden display of emotion. "Did you just say I'm stupid?"
"What?" The stoic Desert prince frowned, clearly puzzled over the princess's reply.
"I hate you, Gaara! I'll never marry you!" Naruto cried, running past him. Gaara reached out to Naruto but was caught in a strong intoxicating breeze from the perfumed skirts that he wore. When he could finally catch his breath and stopped his fit of coughing, Naruto was long gone.
"What?" Gaara tried again.
Night had fallen and the lanterns were hung all over the town just before the Uchiha Castle. And the nightlife was bustling and bright with activity. Women, men, and children dressed up in their best robes to sample the finest.
Ino, clad in a wonderful dark blue robe walked around with Sakura hanging off her arm. Her best friend had changed into a white kimono with stripes of dark pink. "Ino look!" Sakura gasped as she knelt to examine the goldfishes that swam in a small pond.
"Ah, do you want to win a goldfish for your lady?" The owner of the stall asked, cheerfully. If looks could kill, Ino would have sent a piercing glare through the poor man's heart by now.
"Ino-kun! I want a goldfish!" Sakura exclaimed, clinging on to her arm. Ino sighed and allowed her best friend to lead her closer to the stall.
"I'm looking for Naruto." She reminded her as she handed over money.
"Yes, right after you get my goldfish!" Sakura beamed.
Ten tries later, Ino growled and slammed her broken paper fish net onto the ground. "This is a waste of time!" She screamed angrily. "How dare you pull a scam such as this!"
"But sir," The man said, nervously. "Everyone has received a goldfish on their first few tries!"
"Allow me, Lady Sakura!" Lee exclaimed as he popped up beside them. Sakura stared at his forest green robe and silk white pants. Quickly, he handed over the money to the owner of the stall and knelt down. With one quick motion, he picked up a goldfish in his paper fish net. But this goldfish was the biggest out of all the goldfishes!
The owner of the stall congratulated him and placed the fish in a bag. Then, Lee offered it to Sakura with a big smile on his face.
"I don't want it anymore." Sakura said after a moment of silence. "Ino, look! I love dango!" The pink haired beauty led Ino away from the stall.
And Lee's happy face crumpled.
Temari and Kankoru weaved in and out of the crowd, trying to look for their baby brother. Gaara was an insomniac so when they were catching some Z's, Gaara had left them in the middle of the forest.
"Stupid brat!" Kankoru mumbled. Since they had went at Gaara's pace, the army was probably a week away. "When I find him…"
In fact, they had cheated to get to the Uchiha castle. They hadn't known that their baby brother was that fast. He must have built up the stamina from walking through the desert all the time. The siblings had to cheat and use their Desert magic to transport them here.
"You'll do what?" Temari glared as she narrowed her eyes at him. Kankoru immediately closed his mouth and looked away.
"Nothing…" He mumbled. "Hey! There he is!"
Temari looked up and immediately rushed toward the red haired boy. Gaara trudged toward her and stood motionless as Temari wrapped her arms around him. "Don't ever rush off like that again, Gaara!" She lectured. "Even if you are an insomniac, you still need to rest!"
"Naruto said she won't marry me." Gaara said, quietly. "I made her mad."
"What?" Temari gasped. "How dare she reject you! When I get my hands on her…"
"No, just let her be." Gaara cut in. "I don't want to make her unhappy." The two older siblings stared at Gaara in shock.
"Are you sick?" Temari quickly placed a hand on his forehead while Kankoru checked his pockets for sand.
"Just as I thought! His sand is wet!" Kankoru gasped as he poked at the damp mound in the boy's pockets.
"What? How?" Temari asked as she double-checked Kankoru's observation. "Here Gaara, I have some fresh dry sand for you." She pulled out a small bottle and offered it to Gaara who stared at it and walked away.
"Gaara!!!"
Meanwhile, Naruto's search party kept becoming distracted from the bright lights and the food. So, no one noticed when a pink blur brushed by all of them once, or twice…or maybe three times.
No one noticed the second prince of the Uchiha throne brooding next to the lake.
No one noticed as the pink blur was headed straight toward the Uchiha.
No one noticed when the pink blur hit the second prince and sent them both tumbling into the water.
So only when a startled shout and a squeal pierced the night air, everyone ran toward the source of the sound. When they neared the lake where they were supposed to set off candles in boats at midnight, they saw Sasuke and the princess attempting to swim toward shore. Lee, feeling heroic, swept off his robe and jumped into the freezing water. He trudged back to shore, in his arms were the princess and the prince both soaked and shivering.
Sasuke got out first and all the girls squealed as he flicked his hair back in attempt to get it out of his eyes. Lee helped the princess out and tripped at the last minute. Therefore, the princess lunged forward and Sasuke caught Naruto by the waist.
Then, his foot got caught in his skirts and they fell. At the last moment, Sasuke was on top of Naruto and their lips met in a kiss.
"No!" Sakura screamed, sinking to her knees. "Not my beautiful cold-hearted prince!" Ino shifted and began to pull out a katana from within the folds of her robes.
"How dare you…" She hissed. Sasuke finally pulled away from a breathless Naruto and stared down into his bright blue eyes.
"I think…I think…" He whispered so quietly that only Naruto could hear. "I think I love you."
Naruto's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. "W-what?" He stammered.
"Uchiha!" The roar was easily recognizable and Naruto's head shot up to see the enraged Desert prince staring at them. "I will kill you!"
"Gaara!" Temari and Kankoru ran up to their little brother and stared at Sasuke.
"From this moment, I am declaring war onto your kingdom, Uchiha!" Gaara announced. Sasuke got up and stared at Gaara.
"Bring it on." He replied. He was never one to back away from a challenge.
"You are in no place to make any decisions, little brother." Itachi walked through the crowd; dress in black robes embroidered in silver thread. His customary cape was still around his shoulders. "At last, I have to come save your puny behind again."
"What the hell?" Sasuke snapped. He expected a reply from his older brother and fumed silently when he noticed that he had lost interest in him.
"Princess, you're all wet." Itachi stated as if it wasn't obvious. Naruto stood up and crossed his arms in an attempt to warm himself. With a great flourish, the first prince of the Uchiha Territory, unclasped his cape and drape it over Naruto's shoulders.
"Thank you." Naruto said, meekly.
"No…thank you." Itachi replied, softly as he drew out his arm and wrapped it around his shoulders. Naruto stared as Itachi drew him towards his chest.
"Itachi." Sasuke growled, warningly.
"My army will be here in a week, so prepare yourselves." Gaara told them after his brief interruption. "And the winner will have the Princess as his bride." His jade green eyes calmly met Naruto's wide blue ones. "I don't know what else to do to keep them away from you."
Naruto blinked and his eyes grew watery from suppressed tears.
"Gaara." He whispered, touched at his words. "If you declare war on the Uchiha Territory, I won't even consider to marry you!"
"Wait a minute! You rejected my little brother!" Temari pointed out. "What were you thinking, you wench?"
"What did you call Naruto, you pork?" Ino yelled. Temari spluttered. She had never been called "pork" before!
"This time I really mean it!" Naruto announced. "I won't marry you unless you undeclare the war against Sasuke!"
"Fine." Gaara pouted. Sasuke blinked. That was it? Geez this Desert prince was whooped.
"Well then," Itachi laughed. Slowly the deep chuckle became higher in tone and everyone stared as Itachi's free hand reached up to rip a layer of skin off his face.
"Eww." Ino stared.
"That is so gross." Sakura gasped.
"My brother can shed?" Sasuke frowned. Was this a family trait?
But after Itachi ripped away his skin, it revealed the face of a man. A man so horrifying, so evil, so pale…it was Orochimaru!
"This disquise worked perfectly." Orochimaru laughed. "Itachi would never mingle with you commoners!"
"But we…aren't." Hinata spoke up for the first time. Neji raised an eyebrow from his place next to her.
"Well anyways!" Orochimaru coughed as he regained his composure. With flourish, he dropped two smoke bombs in front of him. "You think I'm stupid not to notice that my vessel has been in front of me all this time?" The hand on Naruto's shoulder tightened and Naruto winced. "I could tell from the outline of his body in his wet dress!"
"Pervert." Sasuke glared. Orochimaru glared back before continuing.
"I, the great evil sorcerer, Orochimaru will harness the power of the Kyuubi and use it to take over everybody!" Orochimaru laughed. Noticing that the smoke from his smoke bombs had long died out…he cursed and pulled out another pair of smoke bombs. "Kukukuku!" He dropped the bombs and laughed evilly on his way out.
"Uchiha! This is all your fault!" Gaara glared. "The war is on!"
"Bring it!" Sasuke shot back.
"H-He took Naruto." Ino whispered as her knees bucked. "I have failed in my task."
A/N: Moo…another chapter done. Not as funny as the last ones but decent. Hope you enjoyed R/R