Teen Titans: I Need Her

Chapter One: It wasn't supposed to happen like this

A/N: Hey everyone! I decided to try my hand at another TT fic. I know that I already have one going, so let's see if I can work on two at the same time. Crosses fingers Anyhoo, I don't really have this story finished in my head yet, meaning that I have no idea where to take this plot. This story just kinda popped in my head and I started writing it, and on a whim I posted it. So, let's see how this one goes! Hope you enjoy!

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, she thought, shaking her head and letting a few tears fall down her cheek. It was supposed to be gentle and beautiful and full of love... It wasn't supposed to be like this. The eighteen-year-old Raven Roth sat up in bed, covering herself with the sheets and just stared at the wall. She finally got up and walked over to the window and sat down beside it, wrapped in the dark purple satin sheet that had once lay tangled on her bed. She looked up at the stars in the night sky and thought of the young man she was in love with, but who didn't love her back. And never will now, she thought. He loves her and he always will. With that last thought she curled up into herself and began to sob profusely; staining her makeshift sheet toga with a flood of tears.

She fell asleep some time after her sob session on her hard, cold floor and dreamt dreamless dreams; blackness invaded her mind and, for once, she was happy for it. When she woke early in the morning, she cried once more remembering the previous night and then went to take a shower. She felt dirty; extremely dirty and irrelevant. She didn't matter to him, and she never would she decided. She took a long, scalding hot shower to wash away her impurities, crying briefly while she shampooed her hair, remembering something he had said to her.

Flashback

"Mmm," he said, nuzzling his face into her neck and sending waves of sensations throughout her entire body. "You smell good... Like roses and jasmine and lavender too. Beautiful, just beautiful."

Raven snapped back to reality as she finished cleaning up and got out of the shower and got dressed in her black leotard sans the cape. She was going to just put on some regular clothes, but when she emerged from the shower she had noticed a rather large hickey on her neck. If she was going to play as if nothing happened last night, she needed to look the part, so she opted for the high collar uniform to cover her obtrusive bruise. She didn't bother drying her hair right now because she figured she would just let it air dry when she went up onto the roof to meditate later. When she emerged from her bathroom, a pair of wild eyes looking confused, lost, and in a little pain greeted her. She stopped dead in her tracks; she hadn't anticipated him waking up before she left, he had been pretty out of it last night. The figure grasped the side of his head and let out a hurtful moan before he noticed she was standing there and then he suddenly panicked. "Oh no," he said, backing up against her headboard and peeking under the covers, only to find himself completely naked. "Oh no! Oh gosh! Raven? Oh shit! What, uh, what happened? Oh gosh! Did we, uh, did we—"

"No," Raven interrupted somewhat forlornly, broken inside that he didn't remember anything. Well he was pretty hammered; her mind threw out at her. What did you expect? Raven quickly composed herself and returned to her normal state of stoicism. "No, we didn't do anything. Nothing happened." She looked down at the ground and her friend thought he saw the glint of a tear in her eye. Whatever he saw, though, was quickly forgotten as she lifted her head back up, having the same blank expression she normally wore, no hint of a tear or sadness anywhere. "Oh, okay," he said looking slightly uncomfortable. "Umm, then what did happen last night? I don't remember anything; well... at least I don't remember this. I know I went out for drinks last night and I vaguely recall coming home... but for some reason I kinda remember being with Star last night."

Raven felt a pang of hurt deep in her heart at the mention of her name. So he does remember last night, she thought. But he thinks it was with someone else. He did call me Star last night at the end, but before that... no, I don't think he used my name once last night. Not at all. Raven knew she had to make him forget about last night completely, but she didn't feel that it was right to use her powers, so instead she just used the power of persuasion. "No Richard," she said in her usual icy tone. "You weren't with her last night. She was... out... last night. You must've dreamt it. You came home late, you were really drunk and I happened to be up getting a cup of tea. I started to lead you back to your room, but you passed out a few feet from my door. I was too tired to do anything big with my powers, so I just floated you into my room. I... slept on the couch in the living room last night, so I don't know why you're, uh, the way you are over there."

Richard seemed to take all of this in very slowly, although Raven noticed a look of depression when she said he must've dreamed his night with Star. He, for some reason, really noticed the fact the Raven always called him Richard, when everyone else, including Starfire and Batman, called him Dick. The only people to ever call him Richard were his parents. Hmm, he thought, trying to desperately recall what happened last night. She just doesn't seem the type to use that name. Now that I think about it, it doesn't really suit her. But with all of his hard thinking, Richard brought on one major migraine and his head began to pound furiously. "Argh!" he seethed through his clenched teeth as he held his head in his hands and bowed down. "Too much thinking I think."

As morose as this situation was to her, Raven smirked a little, though it didn't entirely reach her eyes, making her look somewhat mournful. She walked over to the man she had fallen in love with, unbeknownst to anyone, and sat down next to him. Robin looked up briefly and attempted to scuttle away from his good friend as she was quite close to him. "Umm, Raven," he said, panicking. "I don't think this is the best time to 'get closer' or anything. I don't like to be taken advantage of... especially in my, er, current condition." Raven harumphed at him and gave him one of her patented bite-me glares. "I am NOT trying to take advantage of you whilst in your current condition. And don't worry I won't peek at anything. I'm just here to help you."

With her calm demeanor Robin, or Richard as he had revealed himself to his friends about two years ago after they had defeated Slade, visibly relaxed and moved back by her side. Raven placed her hands on his temples, muttering "Azareth Metrion Xinthos" while she took away the pain from his massive hangover. Wow, he thought as he watched Raven heal his pain. She's amazing! I can't believe she is doing this for me, she really must care about me. It's good to know that someone around here does. Man, look how beautiful she is. Even with her eyes closed she still looks like a goddess... Robin's thoughts traveled, as well as his eyes, as he continued to think about Raven's serene beauty. As his gaze ran back up to her gorgeous face and his thoughts had started to turn rather graphic, his brain interrupted. Wait! Stop! His mind commanded. Raven is just a friend, nothing more. And besides... you're still getting over Starfire. You still have feelings for her; you can't forget that, even though you must.

Dick closed his eyes and tried to erase his racy thoughts about his good friend sitting beside him. He watched as her buxom chest heaved up and down while she concentrated and listened as her quiet breathing practically turned him on. And her uniform didn't help any better; it hugged her in all the right places and she wasn't wearing her cape, so everything was out for all to see. Her large chest stuck out and the fabric of the leotard nestled tightly around her perfect, voluptuous curves. But Raven was just his friend, he told himself once more; about a year and a half ago, Raven had gone through some rigorous training and decided, almost out of the blue, that she needed to take control of her life. She prepped herself strenuously for an ultimate battle with her father, the demon Trigon. She had wanted to face him alone, but her friends would not let that happen; they all stood by her side and together they had taken out the biggest threat in the Goth girl's existence. After that life-threatening fight, Raven was free to express her emotions as she struggled to reveal some of her deepest feelings that had lain dormant inside of her for years. Raven could still be a little cold and seemingly uncaring, and she was still into the dark kind of stuff, but her expression had visibly changed and everyone relished in the times when she laughed and went out to have a good time with them.

After she had gained some control over her powers and emotions, Raven and Dick had started to become closer; they were talking more and confiding in each other greatly. They both had experienced a horrible childhood and they found solace in each other's company; they hadn't hung out as much when him and Starfire had started to date about a year ago and Dick regretted that. Raven would work on Cyborg's cars with him every now and then and on occasion she would even travel to the mall with Starfire and Terra, but she never really hung out with any of them. Her and Richard had connected over their troubled pasts, both of them were the serious, determined types, and they both shared a love of great literature. Coming back to the present moment, Richard vowed that he would try and spend more time with Raven.... At least once he got Star back, or got over her, whichever one came first.

Looking up at Raven, he found himself staring into her amethyst eyes as she waited for him to come back from the deep thinking she had sensed. Raven was never one to pry into people's thoughts and now was no exception; she waited patiently for Richard to realize that she had finished before she said anything. She smiled lightly at him as he realized she was no longer healing him. "How are you feeling?" She asked, seemingly to look straight into his soul. "Better. Thanks Rae," he said, smiling back. In the next instant his hand had risen up to cup her face as he stared into her eyes. Neither one of them moved or said anything; they just stared, losing themselves in each other's features. Without realizing it himself, Richard found himself drawing nearer to Raven, wanting to kiss her. Raven sat there watching him as another memory from last night popped into her mind.

Flashback

Richard stumbled into the kitchen, catching Raven off-guard as she dropped her teabag onto the floor. "Richard," she said, calming down her ragged breathing. "You startled me. Is everything all right? Are you okay?" Richard just looked at her, eyes unfocused as he dropped a half-empty bottle of whiskey onto the table and it spilled onto the floor below. He seemed drunk, but he also seemed sober; That should've been my first clue, she thought later that night while reflecting on the whole ordeal. Richard walked up to her and cupped her face in his hands, looking longingly into her eyes. "I am now," he said, placing his other hand behind her neck and twisting itself in her shoulder-length hair. His hand traveled down her back and found a resting spot on her butt, lightly caressing and squeezing it. Raven's pajamas were almost nonexistent as it had been a hot June night; she had a spaghetti-strap blue tank top on (and no bra mind you), and short, very short, white shorts.

Raven knew she had to stop what was about to happen, but she just couldn't. She had wanted this for so long and she let herself think that Richard had wanted it that he knew what he was doing and with whom he was doing it. Richard stared at her for a moment and then leaned in, kissing her tenderly, right there in the kitchen. She was surprised, but soon opened her mouth to him and the kiss turned quite savage. It was something both had been waiting for and neither one could control themselves; Raven had wanted Richard so bad for the last six years and Richard, well, he just needed to be with someone— someone who he thought was another.

Raven brought herself abruptly out of her memories and realized everything that was about to happen again. She did not want to hurt anymore, especially if the same person caused that hurt in practically the same day. Raven would not let herself be fooled by his needs anymore and so she wrenched herself from his delicate grasp and moved towards the door. Richard was stunned by her sudden departure, and even more stunned as he realized what he was about to do. Oh man! He thought, rubbing his forehead. I let my emotions get mixed up again; I'm letting my feelings for Starfire get confused with Raven and I'm taking advantage of her. I can't do that, I need to stop!

By accident Raven had heard his thoughts, which only confirmed her fears that she did not want to face; that Richard was only using her to rescind the pain that Starfire had caused. That Raven did not matter to him, and was only good to help him relieve the tension he had built up from Star. Raven's heart broke into a million pieces at that moment and Richard thought he saw a look of love, followed by pain fly across her face, which brought some kind of memory back to him.

Flashback

Richard was standing there in her room, staring at her, a deep lust and hunger in his eyes. And in hers, a look of true and complete...love. This startled him, but in his drunken stupor he discarded that notion and began to undress the beautiful goddess that stood before him. He unclothed her quickly and animal-like, took his clothes off just as fast, and then took her in a state of raw fervor.

Richard blinked as this thought popped into his mind and he didn't know what to do with it. Raven opened her door and stood there for a moment; the look of love had gone and she was back to being the same old Raven he had grown close to. "I'm just going to go meditate now," she said quietly, inching out of her bedroom. "I'll leave you to get dressed and whatnot, and you are more than welcome to use my bathroom to shower or anything." "Thanks Raven," he said, watching her slip out silently. "You're a really good friend. It's nice to know that there's someone out there who cares for me as much as you do." She only nodded as she slipped out, grabbing her cloak that was hanging next to her door and went up to the roof. Dick sat there for a moment, trying to place what had happened in his thoughts. "Woah," he said to himself. "Wonder what the hell that was? It seemed real, but Raven said nothing happened last night. Unless she lied to me... but why would she do that? Besides, Raven doesn't feel like that about me, I must be imagining things. I really need to get stuff patched up with Star and quick." With that, he got up and found his clothes and then went to his room to shower and change.

Raven went up to the roof to try and meditate but she knew it was worthless, there was no way she was going to focus this morning. So she sat down, wrapping herself tightly in her cloak and relived everything that had happened after Richard had come home and kissed her in the kitchen last night.

Flashback

After that first kiss, things started to heat up; Richard picked Raven up bridal-style and carried her to the nearest room, which was hers. He went inside, set her down and they resumed their tongue-tangling full force. They kissed for a few moments and then he moved down to suckling on her neck. That was when he had said she smelled beautiful, like rose and jasmine and lavender. He brought his face back to hers and they lost themselves once more in their mouths. Richard pulled back momentarily and looked at Raven, a deep hunger resided in his eyes as they roamed over her scantily clad body. He reached over and took her top off, followed quickly by her shorts and panties. He ripped his own shirt, pants and boxers off even faster and then he picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

He entered her slowly, as not to hurt her, and then proceeded to pump into her, starting to speed up with every thrust. Raven was beside herself; here was everything she had dreamed of since she had met him, and yet it was everything she had not thought it would be. She had imagined it would have happened after they had already been dating, that it would have been slow and passionate, that he would have been in love with her. It was everything but what Raven had hoped it would be; it was rough, almost animalistic and with a fervor. Almost heartless, like a quick fuck and that was it. That's what she had thought it would be after she came the first time and he followed shortly after, burying his face into her hair as he came down and pulled out next to her for a moment.

Neither one had said anything and she thought he had fallen asleep, but he hadn't. They screwed three more times after that each time more feverish and rough than the last. And it was during this last one that he finally spoke to her. He grunted and moaned as he came the last time and then rested, lying next to her. "Oh gosh," he breathed. "I really needed that. Thanks babe. I love you Starfire." A lump formed in Raven's throat as he rolled over and passed out. He called me Starfire, she thought, sitting up. I could have justified this night if he had known it was me, but he didn't. He fucked me senseless and then he thanked me. Then he called me Starfire, his ex-girlfriend. Oh no! What have I done? It wasn't supposed to happen like this...

Raven shut her eyes as tears threatened once more to overtake her. "I gave him everything," she whispered with the tears starting to spill onto the roof. "I gave him all of me. I gave him my innocence, something I can never get back. I loved him. I loved him and he just used me for a drunken, quick screw! It hurts so much. I loved him and he thought I was his ex-girlfriend, someone who does not love him. Oh, what have I done? ..."

A/N: You like? I sure as hell hope so! Anyhoo in case you didn't get that last part, Raven was saving herself for Robin/Richard and that night was her first time. So, if y'all got any suggestions, comments or complaints, just press that little review button down there and leave it for me!