Author's Note:
This story is set in the trio's seventh year. Draco and Hermione are Head Boy and Head Girl. They are on civil terms (somewhat) with each other, and share a dorm together.
English is not my native language so please pardon any grammatical mistakes.
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. In case the other 30,000 some fanfiction on this site hasn't clued you in, let's make clear on that.
Now, on to the story.
November 24th
Granger,
You STILL have my arithmancy textbook. Give it back! Stealing doesn't reflect very well on your holier-than-thou Gryffindor house, does it? I'm in the Potion's Lab making that blasted Veritiserum. Get your studious little mudblood ass here immediately when you get this note.
Malfoy
PS: Do make sure you keep the hidden content, well, hidden. You get what I'm saying.
Malfoy,
First off, I didn't steal, I borrowed. Note the difference, unless you really are blonde and stupid. Secondly, I only borrowed that book from you last night! I doubt you would be in such a hurry to get it back, if you didn't accidentally leave your PlayWizard in it. No wonder you never fall asleep in Professor Vector's class.
Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match starts in ten minutes and I'm gonna go root for my house. I'll be studying in my room tonight, come to pick up your textbook then. I'm sure your horny pureblood ass can survive without porn for another five hours.
And if you do get desperate, there is always Parkinson.
Granger
Granger,
Fine. I will stop by tonight. And drop that pristine ice maid scowl on your face. Even though I can't see it, I can bloody well feel the temperature drop all the way here from the dungeon. It's not like this dump isn't drafty enough, thank you very much.
Oh and, no need for that sacred virgin act in front of me. I heard you faking orgasm for Potty last night - or was it the Weasel? A friendly word of advice – get someone with real equipment, so you can know what a real orgasm sound like, or put on a silencing spell next time. That yodeling of yours was REALLY painful to the ears. I wouldn't have stayed in my room, if Pansy wasn't setting up her man-eater traps outside our portrait hole.
Malfoy
Malfoy you perverted bastard!
I was SINGING, you sodding git! Honestly, do you ONLY think with the head that is NOT above your shoulders? No wonder you are so desperate for porn – you obviously don't get laid enough. Your imagination takes such wild and totally disturbing turns.
Merlin's bathrobes Granger! You were SINGING, you daft cow? Ohhhhh… Do tell me Potty was there with you? Or at least one of the Weasels? Dammit if I had to suffer through that, so should they! They are the ones claiming to be your friends!
But you know, maybe you are right. Maybe I don't get laid often enough. Want to help in that aspect? Let's take a detour on our next patrol, what do you say? In the astronomy tower, just you, me and my wand. Then, maybe the next time I hear you sing I'll share Zabini's opinion. He stopped by last night and thought you were torturing small, furry animals in your room.
Malfoy,
How about not? Better yet, how about you, me and MY wand instead? A nice incendio to the crotch should do the trick. And the astronomy tower? My, aren't you the original one. Honestly, I don't think anyone in Hogwarts go there to watch the star anymore. Well, at least not those in the skies. I prefer to plot my star charts from the Quidditch field instead. The amount of snogging going on in that blasted tower is positively disgusting.
Anyway, leave me to watch the rest of the game in peace!
Granger
Granger,
Incendio? OUCH! You are a cruel, cruel woman. Fine, go watch Potty fall off that broom, if you are so inclined. But I better get my book back tonight, or I'm recording your nextmusical performance and blasting it in the Great Hall.
Malfoy
Well… That's it for now. This little idea has been toying with my head for the last couple days, I just had to write it down. Reviews will be greatly appreciated. I don't know if there will be a next chapter.
- Farangis