Chapter 6: The Dilemma
"What am I to you, Sakura?"
Sasuke's words echoed in her mind, causing another sleepless night. She wanted to leave, to get away from him, but when he pulled her into a tight embrace she knew she couldn't... and wouldn't. She studied the boy's pale face, his arm hung loosely around her belly. He looked peaceful in his sleep but there was still a hint of pain in his aura. What causes your pain? She hesitantly grazed her finger on his warm cheek. She quickly withdrew her hand seeing him frown a little. Sasuke turned his back on her and once again, Sakura felt lonely. She carefully moved out of the bed and headed to the garden. She needed to organize her thoughts.
"I like you... I like you, Haruno Sakura." Is that even true, Sasuke?
A bright, cheerful voice woke her up. When she opened her eyes, she saw a blob of yellow, tan, and blue. It didn't take her much time to realize that it was Naruto staring at her sleeping form.
"Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?" He asked. He looked at her with such curiosity in his inquisitive deep blue eyes. "Did you spend your night here? But it was cold, wasn't it?"
Sakura sat up and gently rubbed her eyes. She remembered leaving Sasuke's room and heading to the garden. She must have fallen asleep while sorting things out in her mind. "Wh-What time is it?" She sleepily asked.
The blonde boy scratched his head, sheepishly grinning at her. He wasn't really aware of the time himself but he knew pretty well that it was late in the morning since he was supposed to be up before the sun rises and he just woke up minutes ago. His gaze accidentally landed to his right where he saw the young Uchiha prince approaching them.
Sasuke didn't even spare Naruto a glance as if he was not there. He looked at the pink haired girl who slouchingly sat on a stone bench with eyes that seemed to have temporarily lost its luster. "We're going somewhere." He coldly said.
"Can't you see she's tired?" Naruto protested, fists clenching.
"Hn? Where?" The pink-haired groggily asked after a big yawn.
"To Wonderland." The prince answered.
Sakura felt joyous. She ran freely across a massive field, laughing her heart out. Walking behind her was the young Uchiha wearing an 'ordinary' boy's clothing.
"I still can't believe you skipped your lessons for this!" She exclaimed, dancing in circles like a ballerina. "And that well... you chose this over Prince Itachi."
Sasuke sat on the ground, staring over the horizon of the field that seemed to have no end. She laid down beside him, green eyes happily adoring the clear blue sky above them.
"You're such a mystery to me, Sasuke. You know how I act towards you. I really didn't like you and thought of you as a heartless, numb prince. But now, I'm starting to realize that..." She was thoughtful for a moment. "...that you could also be nice and you're in fact a human who feels emotions I feel."
"Hn."
Sakura sat up and observed him. His eyes seemed to be focused far elsewhere. "I've been wanting to ask you this but-"
"We're leaving." Sasuke stood up, grabbed her hand, and started walking briskly. She was surprised by his sudden action. She didn't want to admit it but she felt a small spark sent throughout her body the moment his hand came in contact with hers.
They walked in silence until Sakura saw her blonde friend who seemed to have been from the river where they washed their clothes. Sensing this, Sasuke let go of her hand and watched as she waved at the other girl, yelling out her name.
"Sakura! Sakura, it's really you!" Ino shouted from afar.
Sakura turned to smile at him but was suddenly filled with worries when she discovered that he was out of sight. She wanted to look for him but Ino was already running to her direction.
Sasuke watched the girls close enough to observe them but far enough so they wouldn't see him from a tree branch. Not that he was interested with what they were talking about but so that he could watch her. 'We are being spied but by who? Itachi or Neji?' Certain words from their conversation gave him hints but still, they weren't enough to solve anything.
"Soldiers from the Wind country came here a few weeks ago." Ino was saying. "They came because of your mother. They were harsh on her and said that they're going to take her land and all of Haruno family's properties if she doesn't pay her debts."
Sakura was alarmed. "How could it be? Mother and I have never been to that country before."
The blonde looked sadly at Sakura as if not wanting to tell her something. "Your father."
Sakura remembered that when she was really young, her mother used to cry because father left them. He must have went to the Wind and lived there and wasted and gambled everything he had until nothing was left to pay his debts. And now, they were after her mother because of the things her father did.
"You must help her in some way, Sakura. You're mother is working very hard but it's not enough. She might even have to serve the Wind's prince for five years without pay. I'm afraid she might get ill if this continues."
Sakura slowly nodded. "Ino, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell mother that we met today. I don't want to worry her more."
When the blonde girl left, Sasuke went out of his hiding place and approached Sakura who didn't seem to notice him. She was in deep thought, probably about her mother's current situation. His mind was also focused on figuring out something. 'If it is Neji, then why is he targeting her?'
Sakura tried to smile. "Let's go back. I have work to do."
He kept to himself that he knew her little dilemma, but he would help her to an extent. It wasn't entirely because he cared for her, but more on to handle a certain business.
Prince Itachi summoned his brother the moment they arrived back. There was no hint of anger, disappointment or any other emotion on his face about Sasuke leaving the palace. The younger Uchiha, now dressed in his princely clothes, sat on a chair across his older brother.
"The meeting of country leaders will be held in the Snow country ten days from now. Since I am be busy with my other affairs, I'm sending you as a representative of the country of Fire." Itachi explained.
Sasuke, who seemed uninterested, nodded and said, "Would that be all?"
"It would not take much time but you need someone to come with you-- a partner. I've arranged for one of our council member's daughter to accompany you so you wouldn't have to look for one."
Sasuke was thoughtful for a moment. If it was a country leaders' meeting, it meant that the Wind's Prince Neji would also come and so will Hinata. He didn't intend to annoy Neji with his decision; he wanted to help her. "Actually, I have someone in mind."
It didn't take Itachi a few tries to guess who his brother was talking about.
That night turned out to be one of the coldest of that month. Sasuke tossed and turned restlessly on his bed, staring at his slave's usual spot at the corner of his room. Soon, it started to rain but she still wasn't back. The prince made up his mind to look for her since he knew he won't be able to sleep until he finds her.
There were two places in his mind. First, he went to the library but found no one. He used the back door in the kitchen that led him to the garden where he found her sitting on a stone bench under a cherry blossom tree, her back facing him. As he moved closer, he observed that she was curled up into a ball, wet pink locks covering her face. She was sniffing either because of the coldness or she was crying.
"Sakura," Sasuke began in his cold voice. "What are you doing here?"
It took her a while to answer him. She lifted her head and stared at the dark starless sky, raindrops making contact with her face. "I was just thinking."
Sasuke didn't move. The silence of rain filled them.
"Seven days from now I'm going to leave for a meeting in the Snow country." It was Sasuke who broke the awkward silence. He waited to see if she was going to say something but when she didn't respond, he turned to leave.
"Everything returns to nothing." She quietly spoke, stopping him. "I'm starting to lose those I care about the most. I... I'm just afraid that when I wake up one day, I won't see them anymore and there will be no one to live for."
"It's cold. You better get back inside or you'll get sick." His legs started to move but he was once again stopped by her bitter voice.
"Sasuke, please don't... don't go." She pleadingly whispered, turning to look at him. "I know I've been mean to you but right now, I need you to stay with me..."
"This night will pass by and so will your problems, then you won't be needing me. Think carefully bef--"
"You don't even understand what I'm trying to say!" Sakura retorted.
Sasuke paced closer to her, not minding the rain as it poured down harder from the sky. She turned away the moment his dark eyes stared intensely at her angry ones. "Then make me understand."
It silenced Sakura. A minute went by and it seemed that a very long time had passed. "I... I've always been afraid of being alone, especially in dark places. I'm scared of losing people I care about the most. M-Maybe... Maybe I care about you that's why I feel this way."
"Maybe you're just confused. Let's go back and--"
"I don't get you, Sasuke. Why are you rejecting me? Don't you know what I'm trying to say?" Again, she turned to look at him in the eye. "You must have mistaken me into someone else last night but still I... I want you to know before you l-leave me that... that..." She lowered her voice. "... I love you." She turned away from him.
Sasuke closed the distance between them and surrounded her shoulders with both arms, his forehead leaning onto the crown of her head. "Thank you," He whispered. "That's what I've always wanted to hear." He placed a gentle kiss on her wet cheek. He pulled away from her and headed back to the palace when he felt two firms arms around his waist.
"My load has been reduced and I... I feel somehow free." Sakura whispered, embracing him from behind.
Sasuke faced her and, with only the rain as their trustworthy witness, he caressed her face and she lovingly leaned onto it with eyes closed. He passionately kissed her lips and this time, she didn't try to pull away. Both knew that they've always been wanting it but never happened because they were trying to reject the strange feelings they felt for each other, afraid that it might only cause them pain.
Sakura needed air so Sasuke was forced to break the kiss, watching her amusingly as she gasped for air. "And who said that I am going to leave you? You are coming with me, of course."
She held his wrist and pulled him towards the palace's back door. "It's cold. We better get back inside." She said, half smiling.
"And Sakura," He whispered. "This is not an acting anymore."
Even though he knew it would be a huge gamble, Sasuke continued on with his plans. 'If that's the only way I could keep you.' He watched her sleep peacefully until rain slowly ceased. He closed his eyes.
And he would do it even if keeping her would mean losing the best thing that ever happened in his life.
Faraway from the Uchiha palace, he was playing shogi with himself, formulating a sure-win plan. He smirked after putting the final piece on its right place. "Checkmate, Uchiha."
He chose to move carefully. Ten days from now, their lives will be altered and everything shall go according to his plans. "In this game I'm always the winner." He looked outside the window. 'And winners get everything they want.'
And the game began.
XOXOXO
It is really going fast, huh? Well, I want this to be fast-paced. I want to see happy Sasuke and Sakura. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I end up screwing things that I do (like this chapter). I just thought that another millenium just went by unnoticed and I had to update. Yup, I know this chapter rates from 'not so nice' to 'not nice at all' but oh well. So much stupidity and uselessness and everything is just so simple. I just can't seem to put into writing what's on my mind.
It's been a long time since I've last updated 'In My Life'. I'm almost done with the new chapter, it's just that mental block suddenly attacked me so I think you'll be hearing/seeing more of this fanfic. I have much ideas for this one than 'IML' and am really excited to finish this so I could get over with it!
Finally, I don't want to say this but I'll try to update faster since I have easier subjects this semester. But knowing my update schedule, you decide if you'll believe me or not. Tell me what you think.