The Next Best Thing to Normal
a B:TAS story
by Merlin Missy
Copyright 2004
G
DC / Warner Bros owns everything and everyone. Duh.
Notes: Post-RotJ. There's implied f/f if you're
looking for it, or you could be perfectly happy
assuming they're just good friends. Not that Jason.
Not really. And for the rest of you, not that
Jason, either. I asked what his name was, and she
told me, okay?
Thanks be to dotsomething and amilyn for the quick betas. :)
Everyone thinks Jason has two mommies but he doesn't.
He has his mommy, and he has his Aunt Pam, and they
both love him very much and he loves them.
Sometimes his mommy takes him to the playground and
he can play with the other kids, and sometimes they
play rough and Jason plays rough right back. Mommy
tells him not to, though. Mommy always worries that
Jason will play too rough and then someone might
notice.
Mommy and Aunt Pam say getting noticed would be bad.
Getting noticed might mean the cops would come and
take them to jail, and then Jason would be alone.
Jason cries when they talk like that, and then he
gets hugged. Mommy hugs him with her arms tight and
squeezing. Aunt Pam hugs him gently and ruffles his
hair every time, which makes Jason grin even when he
doesn't want to.
Jason doesn't tell anyone this, but sometimes he
likes Aunt Pam even more than Mommy. Aunt Pam always
talks to him like he's a grown-up. She explains
things. Mommy always talks to Jason like a kid, but
she talks to everybody like a kid.
Jason knows Aunt Pam isn't really his aunt. She and
Mommy don't look like sisters, not one little bit.
And when they think he's not listening, Mommy calls
Aunt Pam other names, but he's not supposed to use
those ever.
They might get noticed.
Aunt Pam calls Jason her special guy. He asks her
sometimes if she's going to have kids for him to play
with, but she gets all sad, and then pretends to be
happy and picks him up and asks him how could she
ever want more kids when Jason is just right?
When Mommy tells him stories, they have dragons and
monsters and princesses and clowns, and they don't
make much sense but Jason likes them anyway. When
Aunt Pam tells him stories, she reads from
storybooks, any one that Jason wants.
Sometimes Aunt Pam tells him other stories. She
tells him about banks and gardens and parties. She
also tells him about the Code but Jason doesn't
understand it so he pretends to be sleepy.
Sometimes Mommy tells him about his daddy, but not
much, and never when Aunt Pam is around. Mommy says
Jason's daddy was the smartest man ever and that
Mommy loved him very much and that he's with the
angels now. But Jason has noticed that Mommy never
looks in his eyes when she says that last part.
Jason doesn't know his daddy's name, and he doesn't
know his own real last name. When they move, they
change the last name they use, but they all three use
the same name so Jason doesn't forget. They move a
lot. Jason hasn't been in the same place for long
ever. Mommy says that's going to change when he
starts school, but Jason is four and school is a
million years away.
Jason is playing with his cars behind the couch. The
blue truck is his favorite, so he drives that one
most. Usually he makes truck noises when he drives
it, but he's trying to be quiet because they have
company and he doesn't want to get sent to his room.
They don't get company in the house much. Miss
Selina is special. She's sitting on the other couch
with Aunt Pam. Mommy is sitting on the floor with
Bud and Lou, but she doesn't say much when Aunt Pam's
working.
People come to the door sometimes for Aunt Pam, and
she'll go out to the garden and get something and
give it to them and they give her money and go away.
Jason isn't allowed to answer the door yet, and he's
never ever allowed to go out into the garden, no
matter where they live. Aunt Pam says she has plants
that will eat him up if he does.
"I ... I just can't," says Miss Selina.
Jason can't see her from behind the couch, but he
thinks Aunt Pam is going to put her arm around Miss
Selina. He wants to give her a hug too. When she
came in, she looked like she was crying but she
doesn't sound like she's crying now. She just sounds
tired.
"I can imagine it's not easy," says Aunt Pam.
"The throwing up sucks," says Mommy.
"It's not that. That's not so bad."
"It was for me," says Mommy.
"Harl," says Aunt Pam, and Mommy is quiet.
"It's him. I can't. He'd want to do something
stupid, like get married. Or worse, maybe he
wouldn't." Miss Selina is breathing funny. Jason
thinks she might start crying again. "I've heard the
rumors. About her."
"I've heard them too," says Aunt Pam.
"Even if he did, I couldn't live like that. A kid
deserves a better life. Even you two are giving
Jason something stable. No offense. I can't do
that, and neither can he."
"Well," says Mommy, "you could just ask him to pay
for ... "
"Harley," Aunt Pam cuts in, "why don't you take Jason
to go look at his insurance policy again? He should
know where it is."
"But ... "
"Go on. He doesn't need to be here for this."
"All right. C'mon, Jay." Jason wants to complain,
but as he comes out from behind the couch, he can see
the look on Aunt Pam's face, and he doesn't. Miss
Selina smiles at him and he smiles back.
Mommy takes Jason into the back room with the safe.
Jason tries to listen to Aunt Pam and Miss Selina in
the living room, but he only hears it when Aunt Pam
goes out into the garden to get whatever Miss Selina
needs. Mommy makes Jason open the safe. The
combination is his birthday so he'll remember.
The safe has their emergency cash. Jason doesn't
know how much it is, but he knows it's a lot. His
birth certificate is in here. Jason now knows his
real name is "Jason Quinn Napier," but he also knows
he can't tell the other kids in his kindergarten
class, or his teachers or anyone. It's a secret.
Jason's insurance policy is in here. It's a big
brown envelope, with the name "Bruce Wayne" on it,
and an address.
"Okay, honey. Pop quiz. What do you do if Aunt
Pammy and I are gone?"
Jason squirms. He doesn't like thinking about this.
"I get my insurance policy out and I get the money
out and I go to Gotham City to the first address on
the envelope and I take the little envelope out of
the big envelope and give Mr. Wayne the rest of the
big envelope."
"And then?"
"He'll take care of me. And if he's dead, I go to
the second address with Miss Gordon, and if she's
dead, I go to the third address with Mr. Grayson.
And if they don't take care of me, I give the little
envelope to a newspaper or television man."
"Good boy."
Mommy hugs him. Jason doesn't ask about what happens
after he hands over the little envelope.
Gotham City is the coolest place Jason has ever been.
He can't stop looking around at the streetlights,
even if they are a little hazy. Mom says she was
from Gotham before Jason was born, and that his
father is buried here. Gotham is like the Emerald
City, or the temple in the forest where King Louie
lives: mysterious and forbidden.
Aunt Pam helps him scramble up the side of a
building, and suddenly, he can see for blocks and
blocks.
"Wow."
"It is pretty cool, isn't it? I'm not really
a rooftop-goer, but you get a great view."
Jason decides to admire the view very much, whatever
he can see of it.
"I was wondering when you'd show." When she walks
out of the shadows, Jason gasps. Aunt Pam had told
him they were meeting someone, but hadn't said who.
"Batgirl!"
Batgirl smiles at him, a little unsurely. "Hi, kid.
You're Jason?"
"That's me." He grins. This is the best treat ever.
Jason wants to be Batman when he grows up. The other
boys at school want to be Superman, or Flash, and
some of them want to be Green Lantern, but Jason
thinks Batman is the coolest guy ever.
Jason stops smiling for just a minute. He told Mom
that he wanted to dress up as Batman for Halloween
this year and she slapped him. Then she started
crying. Jason can't remember any other time that his
mom has ever hit him. When he gets spankings, it's
always from Aunt Pam. Aunt Pam told him later not to
talk about Batman in front of his mom and now he
never does.
Like she's reading his mind, Aunt Pam says, "You know
not to tell your mom about this, right?"
"Right," he says.
"I got the prescription filled. I made a guess on
his face size for the frames." Batgirl hands him
something. It's glasses. Jason has been squinting
at school a lot. He puts the glasses on and then he
can see the whole city.
"Cool!" Jason will always think of these as his Bat-
glasses, even if can't ever tell anyone else that.
Long after they stop fitting, he'll keep them with
him and take them out and touch the frames.
"Thank you," says Aunt Pam.
"We're square now?"
Aunt Pam nods. "I wouldn't even have asked, but
we're between jobs right now."
"Just make sure they're real jobs. And tell Harley
to keep her nose clean. You know that if she puts
one foot out of line ... "
"You're on us. I got it. She's been good. I've
made sure. She doesn't even jaywalk."
"And you?"
"Haven't been caught yet," and Aunt Pam smiles.
Batgirl looks weird again. "What did she tell you?
About what happened?"
"Enough." There's a long pause, and Jason starts
getting chilly in the night air. "Between you and
me, I don't know if she was competent at the time.
Not when he was around."
"She let it happen."
"If she'd tried to stop him, she'd be dead now. And
it's not like you want her to go to trial, not with
what she knows." Jason takes Aunt Pam's hand. She
squeezes it. "How is the kid? Do you see him much?"
"Not much, not now. But he's better. Tell her that,
if you think she cares."
"She does. But I'm not telling her about this."
"Suit yourself. Anyway, we're done here." Batgirl
gives Jason another smile. "You be good, okay?"
"Okay." And just like that, Batgirl is gone. Jason
feels his glasses again, to make sure they're real.
If they are, then everything else is, too.
"Time to go home," says Aunt Pam. They stop for ice
cream on the way back, and Aunt Pam reminds him that
he has to tell Mom they got the glasses from a
clinic. He doesn't like lying to his mom, but he
thinks he understands.
Jason enjoys playing with Isis. He puts a bit of
string on his finger and dangles it for her and she
bats at it. Mom says not to tease her, because she's
getting old, but Miss Selina says it's okay.
Jason and his mom have been staying with Miss Selina
for over three months, and Jason likes it. He likes
his new school, and he likes his new friends. He
likes his bedroom, even if Mommy sleeps on the floor
in there with him. He's kind of sad that he couldn't
bring all his toys with him, but they'd had to get
gone fast.
Aunt Pam is in jail.
Jason was very scared when Mom told him that, but now
he gets that jail doesn't last long for them.
Sometimes Aunt Pam and Mom get into fights, and Aunt
Pam leaves, or Mom takes Jason and leaves, but
they're always back together again in a few weeks.
Jason is pretending this is one of those times.
Meanwhile, he gets to play with Isis. Isis is much
better than Bud and Lou. She doesn't bite, and she
has a catbox and doesn't need to be walked.
Miss Selina reads to him at night sometimes. She has
a pretty voice, and even though he misses Aunt Pam,
he likes it when she tucks him in. He even kind of
likes that Mom dyes his wispy blond hair the same
dark as Miss Selina's, because it makes her seem more
like another aunt.
Mom has a new job. She's cooking at a restaurant
nearby, and she walks to work, and she acts happy.
She pays a little rent to Miss Selina, but Jason
thinks it isn't much, and it just goes into groceries
anyway. Miss Selina is letting them stay because
that's what you do.
Aunt Pam has explained the Code to Jason: you do for
people, and they do for you. It means not ratting
out your friends for a shorter sentence, because if
they're sent to the same prison they might break your
legs, but also so you can crash with them if you need
to later. It's why Aunt Pam doesn't charge Miss
Selina when she needs something, because maybe Aunt
Pam will need something, like a place to keep Jason
safe. You don't give up secret identities, not to
anyone, not even your enemies' secret identities.
It's not playing fair, and you never know when you'll
need something from them, too, if only a blind eye
while you get out of town.
It's not very complicated. Jason gets it more each
day.
He doesn't get why henchmen aren't people. Aunt Pam
and Mom have both tried explaining that they get
paid, and you expect someone will try to pay them
more, and that they'll roll over for the D.A. (a
strange, omnipotent figure in Jason's imaginings) and
you can leave them behind when you're trying to get
away. They don't count, and they don't expect you to
count them.
That was more complicated, and a little scary, until
Mom told him he wasn't a henchman. He was family.
Family was always cool. Mom and Aunt Pam were his
family, and so was Miss Selina, and so was Miss
Livewire kind of (but not Miss Volcana ever and not
always Miss Mercy). There were other people who
weren't quite family, but weren't henchmen or normal
people either, like even Batgirl sometimes. Mom says
when you're like them, you watch out for one another.
Right before Aunt Pam went to jail, Miss Mercy came
by the last house, and she wore great big sunglasses
and when she took them off she had a great big shiner
on each eye. Jason had to go play in his room while
Miss Mercy had coffee with Mom and Aunt Pam. That
night Aunt Pam went out late and didn't come home
until after Jason went to bed, and she woke him up
and said they had to get out of town. Mom slept in
the car but Jason wasn't sleepy anymore so he sat up
front with Aunt Pam and they sang with the radio, and
when the song ended Aunt Pam told him to never ever
hit girls and made Jason promise.
Isis bats at his fingers and Jason laughs, a little
too loud, a little too much. Miss Selina frowns at
him when he laughs like that. Isis doesn't mind,
though.
"Is your homework done yet?" asks Mom, when she comes
in from her job, and Jason stops playing with Isis
and does his math. Jason is good at math, and
science. Mom says he's going to college someday.
Miss Selina doesn't seem so sure. Jason thinks even
more school doesn't sound like much fun.
Miss Selina checks his math when he's done, and Mom
checks his science because it's biology stuff. Aunt
Pam says that Mom used to be a doctor once, for
people's heads. Jason knows the word for that is
"shrink." At school he sees the shrink twice a week
because sometimes he plays too rough with the other
kids. It's harder without Aunt Pam, just a little.
She was giving Jason things to eat from the garden
that made him calm. Without her and the things to
eat, he gets mad easier. The shrink asks about his
dad, and Jason tells her that his dad died in an
accident, just like he's been told to say. Mom
hasn't told him how his dad really died, just that he
did, and when she can't hear, Aunt Pam will say very
softly, "And good riddance."
The shrink asks him lots of questions about Mom and
Aunt Pam, and she makes notes. Jason thinks she
doesn't understand about Mom and Aunt Pam, but he
doesn't try to tell her different. He doesn't tell
her that Mom crawls into his bed sometimes and
sprawls her arms all around him and sleeps as she
hugs him and sometimes has her thumb in her mouth.
Jason gets that his mom Isn't Quite Right, like Miss
Selina says when she thinks he can't hear, but he
loves her, and he knows that Aunt Pam loves her too
even when Mom drives her nuts. He doesn't want the
shrink to ask the state to take him away, so he
smiles and nods and promises to do better when the
shrink writes down things like "Lacks a proper father
figure. Needs male role model."
Jason has a male role model. He just can't tell his
mom who it is.
Aunt Pam is waiting for him when he gets out of
school. He gets in the car and starts to tell her
about his day, but she isn't paying attention and she
isn't driving home.
"Where are we going?"
"We can't go home right now," says Aunt Pam, and she
drives down a street Jason doesn't recognize. She
stops the car, and they get out. Jason brings his
bookbag with him. He isn't sure if he's going back
to school tomorrow, but if he is, he's got things to
read and a spelling list to go over.
Aunt Pam cuts through alleys, and he trudges behind
her. It's hard, sometimes, when he doesn't know who
he's supposed to pretend to be. It's hard to make
friends when he doesn't know if he'll see these kids
again after a week. Twice this year he's gone to
different schools and had to get a running start on
what they were studying.
They're on a small street with no traffic. "Wait out
here," says Aunt Pam, and she goes inside a store.
She's gone for a while, and Jason gets worried. He
doesn't like this part of the city, but he thinks he
knows that Aunt Pam wouldn't leave him anywhere
unsafe. He knows that in certain cities, the
criminals would sooner eat their own feet than hurt
him. He didn't know if Metropolis was one of those
cities.
It's been over fifteen minutes, and Jason sits on the
sidewalk and gets out his spelling words. These
aren't so hard, because he had to learn most of them
at the first school this year: lemon, shell,
difficult, beliefs, crystal, pearl, delicious, wheat,
surprise, experiment.
Sometimes Jason makes stories in his head with his
spelling lists. As he tries to make a story, Aunt
Pam comes out of the store. "You okay?"
"Yep." Jason doesn't ask what she's been up to,
because she won't tell him anyway. She doesn't have
a shopping bag, but her purse looks heavier than it
did.
"We're going to a different place tonight. Your mom
will meet us there. She's getting some things from
the apartment."
"Am I going to school tomorrow?"
"Probably not. But we'll try." She takes his hand,
and ducks down a different alley. They're not going
back for the car.
They walk for over an hour, and Jason is getting
tired. Aunt Pam buys him some chicken fingers and
french fries when they pass a little restaurant. He
wants a soda too, but he can't carry that and eat his
dinner. Aunt Pam doesn't get anything, but she
steals some of his fries as they walk.
Two blocks later, Wonder Woman stops them. Jason is
surprised --- s...u...r...p...r...i...s...e...d he thinks ---
and almost drops the last of his fries, but Aunt Pam holds
onto his hand and he stands still.
"Ivy. I should've known you'd be involved in this."
"I'm not."
"Right. So you're on the run anyway?"
"Kind of 'Wanted by the Authorities' just now. Heard
about what was going down, wanted to be out of sight
before it hit."
"Uh huh." Wonder Woman doesn't believe her. Jason's
stomach, already a little weird from the greasy food,
starts to clench. If Wonder Woman takes Aunt Pam
away, he'll never find Mom.
"I swear. This," she cocks her head, "is all Bane.
Though I heard he's teaming up with Copperhead and a
few others from the B-List. You should probably go
take care of them or something. Warehouse district."
Last night, Star Sapphire was by the apartment and
told her over coffee while Jason watched t.v. with
his mom. He's a little shocked that she's telling
this to Wonder Woman, though.
"You're a fugitive, Ivy," says Wonder Woman, but she
looks unsure.
"I have to get him home," says Aunt Pam. "You want
to take me in tonight and get your kicks, fine. Name
the place and I'll be by later. But right now,
you've got a gang war about to start that's going to
cause a lot more trouble than I ever managed, and I
have to get Jason home before his bedtime."
Jason holds her hand tighter, but he stays quiet.
"Go," says Wonder Woman, after a long minute. "And
stay inside the next few days. Things are going to
get bad. I never saw you." She flies off.
Aunt Pam watches her go, then backtracks through a
few alleys the way they came. They stand and rest
against a wall several streets away.
"Why did you rat them out?" Jason asks, when he can
breathe.
"I didn't tell her how many there were. I only gave
the names of the two men stupid enough to make waves
already. I've been hearing about them all day on the
street. That's why we're moving."
They start walking again, down a different set of
streets this time. Jason won't see his new home
until after dark, and he won't have a chance to do
any reading before bed, but he's not going to school
in the morning. Mom has been to the tiny new
apartment and dropped off his best toys and some of
his clothes and a few of Aunt Pam's favorite potted
specimens, but she's not there to meet him. He hopes
she's out walking the hyenas.
"Did Wonder Woman owe you a favor?" Jason asks as
Aunt Pam tucks him into the sleeping bag that's been
his bed for two apartments.
"A small one," she says and kisses him on the head.
Jason thinks he's too old for that, but he likes it
anyway.
"What was it?"
"I don't tell your secrets," she says, and
closes the door.
Jason is almost ten. When anyone asks, that's what
he tells them. He's big enough to stay home alone
after school until Mom gets home from whatever job
she's got this week. Mom doesn't keep jobs long, and
it makes Aunt Pam mad when Mom loses another one.
With the right makeup, Aunt Pam has managed to get
and keep a job at the arboretum in the city. Jason
has been in the same school for over a year. The new
house is big enough to keep a garden out back for
Aunt Pam. It's too small to keep Bud and Lou happy,
and Jason hasn't seen them since the last house, but
he doesn't mind. He's got a closet full of good
school clothes and nice play clothes, all from Miss
Mercy. She took him to get his last pair of glasses,
too.
The safe combination is still Jason's birthday. He's
careful not to leave any marks or prints behind. He
wants to know something.
His father's name is on his birth certificate, but
Jason knows it's a lie. That was just his father's
legal name, not his real name. Just like Mom uses a
bunch of different names, but always has the same
name deep down, the one Aunt Pam calls her and Miss
Selina and the rest of the family. Jason sets the
paper aside.
He holds the insurance policy carefully in his hands.
The envelope isn't licked shut, just held with a
brass fastener. He pulls out the small envelope and
sets it beside his birth certificate.
The only other thing in there is a letter.
Mr. Wayne:
If you are reading this, Harley and I have I did say Barbara. I could also say Tim, Jason's a good kid. Very smart. You'll Jason is yours now. He'll need clothes, Take care of him. Give him a good home.
gone to that Great Hideout in the Sky. This is
Jason. You shouldn't have any doubts about his
parentage, but if you do, feel free to ask
Barbara. She checks in on him from time to
time.
or Dick. It's been hard explaining to Harley
why we don't just walk up to the first reporter
we see and spill everything. Right after, she
wanted to, but I talked her out of it. I told
her we might need your help some day, and if
you're reading this letter, I was right.
like him. And you're responsible for him. You
know that, right? You're the one who started
everything. You're the reason the Joker is dead.
Oh, I know it was Tim who did the actual deed,
because Barbara isn't nearly as subtle as she
thinks she is. I'm not complaining. I
considered doing it myself often enough.
and glasses, and he needs to go to school. He
is not under any circumstances ever to be made
your new "junior partner" as Barbara likes to
say. We've kept him away from that life, and we
expect you to do the same. It's not a life for
kids. You should know that better than anyone.
If you like, think of it this way: Joker took a
healthy, well-adjusted child away from you, and
now we're giving one back.
We always tried. The surname we used most often
on the run was "Todd," and he'll answer to that
if you want to use it instead of Napier or
Quinzelle. Also, Catwoman would probably like
to see him occasionally, if you can arrange it.
Remember that we kept your secret.
Dr. Pamela Isley
Jason puts the letter and the small envelope back
into the big envelope. Everything goes back into the
safe, and he shuffles the numbers on the lock to hide
his prying.
He's seen Mr. Wayne on the news, always tries to
watch Mom's face to figure out why he's the one to go
to if things go bad. Mom always leaves the room,
though.
Jason gets it now.
Mr. Wayne is one of them, maybe not family, but one
of them nonetheless. Someone who pretends to
be normal, but has another name deep
down. Someone who follows the Code. Jason is cool
with that.
He checks his watch. Mom is working late, but if he
gets started now, he can have dinner ready when Aunt
Pam gets home, and Mom can reheat it later. His
homework is mostly done, but Aunt Pam can go over the
botany parts with him before his shows come on.
Jason has a new best friend named Tyler. He sleeps
over at Tyler's house sometimes, and sees Tyler's
nice normal mom and dad and Tyler's normal big
brother and Tyler's normal baby sister. Tyler has
been in the same school since first grade, and he
wants to be Superman when he grows up, but Jason
likes him anyway. It's fun to hang out with someone
who's never had a pet hyena or been bitten by a
hungry flytrap. He can't tell Tyler about that,
though, or about the Bat-glasses from Batgirl, or
about any of his mom's friends really, except when he
says it like a joke and waits for Tyler to laugh.
Sometimes Jason wants a normal life of his own, but
most of the time he's pretty sure this is the next
best thing.
The End