Disclaimer: Although I don't own Harry Potter or the Marauders, I am able to manipulate them in any way I can. /Evil laugh/ I'm done…
/This is Actions/
Chapter 1: Stalking McGonagall
/The group is currently hidden underneath James' Invisibility cloak/
James: Sirius! Watch where you're stepping!
Sirius: Well its kind of hard when you have four people in here! It's cramped!
Peter: Are you saying that I'm fat?
/Blank stares/
Peter: I'll shut up now…
Sirius: Good idea, Wormtail.
/Group continues down corridor and occasional yelps of pain can be heard from one of the four boys. The boys continue until they reach the door to McGonagall's office, which is open slightly/
Sirius: I wonder what she's doing…
James: Sirius, this is the fifth time today that we've gone out looking for McGonagall. Don't you think that it's a bit…obsessive?
Sirius: James, don't be stupid! I want to find out McGonagall REALLY does when students aren't around.
Remus: We've been following her around for four days!
Sirius: Three.
Remus: Same thing.
Sirius: /Peers inside office/
Inside office:
/McGonagall is inside, writing Dumbledore's name all over her chalkboard with hearts all around it. Romantic music is playing. McGonagall is wearing her bathrobe and her hair is down/
Peter: Wow, she's hot at night!
James, Sirius, Remus: /Whacks Peter HARD/ BAD THOUGHTS! GET THEM OUT!
Peter: But it's true…
Sirius: Excuse us…/Grabs Peter's shirt collar and begins to hit Peter's head until Peter says that all bad thoughts are gone. Sirius still continues/ This is fun! Come try it! His head makes a hollow sound!
James: Really? Amazing! /Hits Peter's head/ It does! And its fun!
Remus: Hey, let me try! /Starts knocking on Peter's head/ The fun never ends!
James: /Straightens up/ Well, time to get our spying over with.
Sirius: Yes, I agree with Jamesy.
James: /Ignores nickname and looks into office to see that McGonagall transfigured a desk into Dumbledore and is dancing with him/
Sirius: How obsessive can she get?
McGonagall: Albus, I'm glad we're finally alone.
James: Pretty obsessed.
Remus: MY EYES! THEY BURN!
Peter: /Cowering in corner/ Don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me…
Sirius: STUDENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE PDA's BETWEEN TEACHERS!!!!! IT'S JUST WRONG!!
James: It was your idea.
Sirius: Yeah, but I didn't expect to see this!
James: Well what did you expect?
Sirius: Something to be used as blackmail!
James: Uh, Sirius? There it is /Motions to door/
Sirius: /Grins/ You're right!
James: Wow, someone's slow tonight…
Sirius: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A LEARNING DISABILITY!!! No, wait, that's Peter…
Peter: HEY!
Group: /Ignores Peter/
Remus: Sirius?
Sirius: /Currently in as deep a thought as he can get/ Yes, Moony?
Remus: Shut up.
Sirius: That's mean!
Remus: I'm sorry! /Hugs Sirius/
Sirius: Get off me! /Shoves Remus away/
Remus: /Begins crying/ NO ONE LOVES ME!
Peter: I love you, Remus!
Remus: /Edges away from Peter/ Uh, no thanks…
Peter: NO ONE LOVES ME! /Begins crying/
/No one comments/
Sirius: /Continues taking incriminating pictures of McGonagall. Suddenly becomes distracted with a shiny knob on the camera/ It's…so…shiny…
James: Sirius? Sirius! /Shakes Sirius and begins wailing/ NO! SIRIUS HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY THE SHINYNESS! NO! I'VE LOST MY BEST FRIEND!
Sirius: Dude, I'm right here.
James: /Stops crying/ Oh, ok.
Remus: /Suddenly takes off down the hall/ COME BACK CHOCOLATE BAR!
James: NO! HIS OBSESSION WITH CHOCOLATE HAS RESURFACED!
Sirius: WE MUST DO SOMETHING! CHARGE!
/James and Sirius sprint after Remus, leaving Peter sobbing by the door. McGonagall comes out after hearing him/
McGonagall: MR. PETTIGREW! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!
Peter: /Doesn't notice McGonagall/ NO ONE LOVES ME! /Suddenly notices McGonagall/ Do YOU love me, professor?
McGonagall: /Inches away/ Erm, get to bed, Mr. Pettigrew.
Peter: /Continues to cry/ I FEEL SO ALONE! NO ONE LOVES ME!
well, what do you think? My first attempt at humor and a Harry Potter fic. Let me know what you think! Be blunt!
R&R!
Jojo