Operation: Genin Dance

Persepolis130

Notes: First off, I'm pretty sure they don't have hotdogs in Konoha, so sorry about that. Also, just to remind you, this is almost total PWP smut (with everyone I could possibly include), so if you don't like the sex stuff (or want to maintain your sanity), consider the story already ended!

Okay, so I wrote two VERY similar Sasuke parts, the first of which is non-pairing, the second of which is sasuneji. So read them both for the full effect, or if you don't like the yaoi, just read the first one and leave the boy-on-boy for those of us who appreciate it. These scenes don't necessarily happen in any particular order, so don't think about it too much.

GRATUITOUS EPILOGUE

Hinata giggled as she fell back on the couch, ceiling spinning agreeably around her. Finding the key to the liquor cabinet wasn't hard for someone with a Byakugan...

"Heheh! I think you're drunk, Hinata!"

She beamed, tilting her neck tipsily up to look Naruto in the eyes. Such pretty eyes. Lifting her arms vaguely toward him, she asked, "Pull me up, Naruto-kun?"

"Hey! But there's two of you! Which one do I... whoops!"

Suddenly, Hinata felt a very heavy Naruto-kun land soundly across her chest. "Oh!" How did that happen... he was just on the floor... wasn't he?

"Hey, my insides feel silly... all wobbly and stuff..." he muttered, breath tickling Hinata's neck.

"Ah... mine too..." she admitted.

"It's sort of like yesterday or that time with the turtle..." he mused.

Hinata had no clue what he was trying to say, but did it really matter with him sprawled out on top of her like that?

"Hah! You're soft, Hinata!" he exclaimed as he poked happily at her belly.

Hinata squirmed as much as she could with a rather sizable boy atop her. Was this a blessing or a curse?

"Yup, very squishy..." Naruto told her as he moved his hand absently up her abdomen.

Fighting her instinctive urge to pass out, Hinata realized where his hand was headed and suddenly felt very warm inside. Overheating even.

"Ah! Aren't you too hot in that-- hic-- jacket, Naruto-kun?" He must be! She was dying!

"Eh? Oh... yeah, I guess..." Still sprawling over her, Naruto attempted to unzip his jacket, heavy fingers resulting only in a goodly amount of fidgeting and an even warmer Hinata.

"Hic!" hiccupped Hinata as Naruto managed to pull himself off of her and fall backward on the couch beside her.

"Stupid zipper! Stupidassdamnoldzipper..." he cursed, finally managing to work it down, discarding the garment on the floor.

"Ah... I'll-- hic!-- take mine off too..." Hinata told him, drawing the fabric around her chest over her head. Much better, she decided.

"Ha ha! Hinata, you already took yours off! That was your shirt!!'

"Oh!" she exclaimed, looking down at her lacy pink bra. Wow, she should really be embarrassed right about now!

"Hey, that's okay! I'll take mine off too!"

"O--hic--kay..." Wait, that's not right...

"Aaah!! Much better!"

Hinata gaped, pulling herself drunkenly into a vague sitting position. Oh, Naruto-kun... naked skin... mustn't... mustn't... !

"Hic!" Hinata exclaimed as she felt her fingers slide against smooth, warm skin.

"Hey, hey! Do you have the hiccups?"

"Ah..." was all she could say as she slid her hand across Naruto's stomach.

"This one time I had the hiccups for really long and they say you have to scare yourself to get rid of them so I decided to think about Sasuke naked but that really didn't work so well at all," Naruto babbled drunkenly.

"Oh," Hinata said, confused but not unhappy as she dipped her index finger into Naruto's bellybutton.

"TICKLES!!" squealed a suddenly flailing Naruto.

"Hic!" exclaimed Hinata, tumbling against the blond's torso.

When the room's spinning subsided to the accustomed amount, Hinata noticed that her cheek was pressed against Naruto's hard, sinuously muscular chest.

Oh, this was bad, she decided, tuning her mouth toward his flushing pink skin. Naughty, naughty Hinata...

XX SASUKE AND NEJI NON-PAIRING XX

"This is sick," Sasuke glowered as he drew his kunai. He'd already done 100 push-ups, jumped rope 100 times, and run 100 laps around the training grounds. And Gai-sensei was now forcing him to spar alone in the woods with Neji.

"You're out of shape," Neji told him, looking uninterestedly at the treetops.

"I am NOT. I just don't waste my energy foolishly on this sort of... CRAP!" he shouted. "Are ALL of your sensei's instructions this pointless?"

"Mostly," muttered Neji.

Sasuke fumed. "I still can't believe he wrote that mission."

"I can," said Neji, eyes following the path of a sparrow through the branches.

"Its sexual nature affronts me," Sasuke pronounced.

"You said that yesterday," Neji sighed.

"I meant it. The very thought of it... Imagine us... DATING!" Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, I've done that," Neji watched a falling leaf.

Sasuke scowled. "That would involve... spending time together..."

"Right," frowned Neji.

"...and holding hands, and goodnight kisses..." Sasuke continued, glowering, "and cuddling and making out and... SEX! Can you imagine US having SEX?!"

"..." was all the Hyuuga could manage, closing his eyes.

For several minutes, the two boys stood in an uneasy silence, during which time Neji glared irritably at everything but the Uchiha.

All but growling, Sasuke threw his kunai into a nearby tree trunk. Enough already, damn it! He had to do something about this!!

"Neji?" he asked.

"...yeah, Sasuke?"

"Let's kill Gai-sensei," he proposed.

Neji's eyes finally met Sasuke's, a wicked grin spreading across his lips. "I thought you'd never ask..."

XX SASUNEJI XX

"This is sick," Sasuke glowered as he drew his kunai. He'd already done 100 push-ups, jumped rope 100 times, and run 100 laps around the training grounds. And Gai-sensei was now forcing him to spar alone in the woods with Neji.

"You're out of shape," Neji told him, looking uninterestedly at the treetops.

"I am NOT. I just don't waste my energy foolishly on this sort of... CRAP!" he shouted. "Are ALL of your sensei's instructions this pointless?"

"Mostly," muttered Neji.

Sasuke fumed. "I still can't believe he wrote that mission."

"I can," said Neji, eyes following the path of a sparrow through the branches.

"Its sexual nature affronts me," Sasuke pronounced.

"You said that yesterday," Neji sighed.

"I meant it. The very thought of it... Imagine us... DATING!" Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, I've done that," Neji watched a falling leaf.

Sasuke scowled. "That would involve... spending time together..."

"Right," frowned Neji.

"...and holding hands, and goodnight kisses..." Sasuke continued, glowering, "and cuddling and making out and... SEX! Can you imagine US having SEX?!"

"..." was all the Hyuuga could manage, closing his eyes.

For several minutes, the two boys stood in an uneasy silence, during which time Neji glared irritably at everything but the Uchiha.

All but growling, Sasuke threw his kunai into a nearby tree trunk. Enough already, damn it! He had to do something about this!!

"Neji?" he asked.

"...yeah, Sasuke?"

"Take your pants off," he proposed.

Neji's eyes finally met Sasuke's, a wicked grin spreading across his lips. "I thought you'd never ask..."

XXXXX

Naruto giggled tipsily at the tickling against his belly. Hinata sure was funny.

Why did she have her tongue on him like that?

"Hey, do I taste good or something?" he asked her.

"Mmm..." he heard from the vicinity of his waist.

Before he knew he was saying, he asked "Hey, do I taste like ramen? I think I might because they say you are what you eat and I sure do eat a lot of ramen..."

"You taste like-- hic-- Naruto-kun," she told him, breath making funny feelings on his stomach.

"Oh." It seemed even harder to think than usual, and Naruto would have scratched his head... but his arms were so heavy... "Does that taste good?"

Not hearing an answer, he raised his head to look up with bleary eyes at Hinata, who was licking a patch of skin just above the snap on his pants.

"What're you doing, Hinata? That's kinda weird to be doing that there. Hey, why're you-- Hinata! That's naughty!"

"Ah! It's... so big!"

"Ha! Yeah, I'm pretty well-hung, huh??"

"Mmm... hic!"

"Hey, why are you putting your-- AANNGYEAGH!! Whoa shit Hinata!! What're you-- AAAAA!!"

"Naruto-kun tastes good..." she whispered.

"Wait, wait!! This is like in those pervy books Kakashi-sensei's always reading and those are bad and dirty and-- whoa, whoa, WHOA!! No, no, wait, don't touch me the-- YAAAA! Okay, touch me there, TOUCH ME THERE!!"

Warm wet soft nice...! "Ah--ah--ah--Ah--AAAAAA!!"

And as Naruto's stomach gripped, a lone thought ran though his intoxicatedly overtaxed mind:

Hey, does Hinata like me or something??

XXXXX

Sakura fumed as her foot connected with her training dummy.

Who did that Ino think she was, anyway? Calling Sakura that! Calling her a...

VIRGIN!!

Like there was something wrong with it! Just because she didn't throw herself at the first guy who came around...!

Watching Lee, who was currently raising his voice in an ear-grating battle-cry and posing flamboyantly in front of the defenseless stump he was boldly planning to pummel, Sakura realized exactly what "throwing herself at the first guy who came around" would have meant and felt a bit ill.

Of course, Ino had made it perfectly clear that she had no intention of giving up on Sasuke. Nope, no such luck. She just called the Nara "practice."

"You wouldn't take a test without studying for it, right forehead-girl?" Ino had asked her.

"Yeah," Sakura had retorted, "and I wouldn't buy a dress someone else had worn either!"

"Shows what you know! You can get them for half price at the secondhand store!" Ino had snorted.

Sakura had grinned bitterly. "So does that mean you're cheap?"

"Well, at least I'M for sale!!" Ino had shouted.

All of which had lead to a loud "Hmph!" and both girls turning on their heel and stalking away.

Sakura growled at the memory and kicked the dummy again.

As much as she hated to admit it, Ino had always been cooler than she was, always one step ahead. So if Ino said having sex was the thing to do...

Wasn't she right?

Was the reason Sasuke didn't like her because she wasn't... "for sale?" It sounded so cliché... and trashy...

And if Ino was wrong... it would be bad. Sakura took another look at Lee, who noticed her gaze and gave her a thumbs-up and a wink. Wow, those hanging eyelashes creeped her out...

Yes, if Ino was wrong, it would be very bad indeed.

Oh, but what if Ino was right...?!

"Damn iiiiiiiit!!" shrieked Inner Sakura, realizing that her physical half had already made up her mind.

Oh, this wasn't going to be pretty... Sakura decided as she marched resolutely toward the boy.

"...Sakura...?" Lee asked as he paused in his valiant stump-pummeling, eyebrows furled in perplexity.

"Close your eyes," Sakura said.

"Why...?"

"I have to see something," she told him. And if you nosebleed all over me, I'll destroy you!

"Oh... alright..." Lee did as he was asked. Anything for his Sakura! Except... "What do you have to see?"

"It's not important. And it doesn't mean anything, so don't tell anyone," she instructed.

"Is it ninja training?" he asked, feeling a bit confused. Not that he had a problem standing out in the middle of an open field under the blaring afternoon sun. No, Gai-sensei had had him do this sort of thing many times to build up his stamina.

Sometimes he'd stood on one foot, sometimes he'd balanced a scroll on his head, and other times he'd held his arms straight out while gripping twenty-pound weights. ONCE he'd even stood on one foot while balancing a scroll on his head AND holding his arms straight out while gripping twenty-pound weights! Now that was a workout!!

But he'd never done it with his eyes closed before...

"No, it's not ninja training," his angel said, seeming a bit closer to him now.

"It's not?" But what else was there...? If only Gai-sensei were here to make it all clearer!!

"I'm going to kiss you."

"Oh." Well that was alright then.

Wait a minute, did she just say--

And suddenly, he felt warm lips press against his.

Oh!!

XXXXX

I just knew this would happen, Shikamaru pouted as he dug the sand out of his ear.

"I'm cold," Ino told him.

"You're naked. What do you expect?"

"For you to get me my clothes!"

"I'm too tired."

"Oh, you're worthless!"

"That's not what you said ten minutes ago."

"It's not MY fault you do that thing with your mouth."

"Whatever."

Sighing, Ino snuggled in closer to her pouting teammate. Well, even though it was getting late, the sand was still pretty warm. She'd be alright for at least a little while...

Hearing a little grunt, she turned to Shikamaru and saw that he was moping even worse than before. Which made her feel irrationally angry. "What's your problem? How can you look like that when you just got laid, you ass?"

"I'm hungry," Shikamaru complained.

"I've still got some hotdogs left," Choji told him.

"CHOJI!?" shrieked Ino, "What are YOU still doing here?!"

"I said, 'I've still got some hotdogs left,' " he repeated, giving her an odd look. She expected him to leave the hotdogs...??

"But I'm naked!" she squealed, now searching frantically for her hastily discarded swimsuit. "And Shikamaru and I just--"

"Yeah. You want a hotdog?"

"I'll take one," said Shikamaru, lounging back nakedly in the sand.

"Oh! You perverts!!" Ino cried, diving for a nearby towel.

"Sex makes me hungry," Shikamaru scowled.

"Yeah, me too," Choji agreed. "You sure you don't want a hot dog, Ino?"

"Ooooooh!" lamented Ino, stomach growling audibly.

Choji looked pensive as his barely-covered teammate snatched up his culinary delight. Biting into one end hungrily, the juices dripping down her chin, she licked her lips with a little sigh of satisfaction.

Wow, thought Choji, I sort of liked that...

Shrugging the thought away, Choji marched the last hotdog over to the still naked, lounging Shikamaru, who looked up at his friend with a frown. "Zip your pants, Choji."

Ino's face, stuffed with hotdog, turned a sickly shade of green. She swallowed with a loud gulp. "What did you just say...?"

"Uh-oh, here we go..." Shikamaru groaned. How troublesome...

"You-you-you-- YOU!! AAAH!! How could you... OH!! Oh no no no NO!! Oh, you didn't! You DIDN'T!!"

"Man, she's loud," Shikamaru grumbled.

"What was I SUPPOSED to do...?" whispered Choji to Shikamaru as Ino continued her dramatics.

"Evidently not that," supplied the other boy, watching Ino's antics with a building sense of annoyance.

"But the Ino Team does everything together..." the chubby genin frowned.

"I think she might be drawing the line about that one..." his best friend scowled at their flailing teammate.

"But I used tongs for the hotdogs," Choji said, Ino's yelling starting to hurt his ears.

Suddenly, the girl in question was pointing a finger directly in Choji's face, the other hand valiantly attempting to hold her towel in place. "And it BETTER be a DAMN good answer, Choji!!"

Choji blinked. "...about what?" She didn't actually think he was listening, did she?

"About what the HELL you thought you were doing!!"

Looking to Shikamaru for assistance, Choji received only a muttered "you're on your own."

"Well...?!" Ino glared. "What do you call that DISGUSTING stunt you just pulled?!"

"Uh..." Choji pondered, "the Ino-Shika-Chou Maneuver...?"

XXXXX

Sakura's head spun as she felt Lee's tongue brush against her lips.

She thought she was going to pass out when he took her bottom lip gently between his teeth.

She was sure she was done for when she felt his sweet, warm tongue slide into her mouth, running itself eagerly yet tenderly against her own.

Sakura gasped. And with her eyes closed, he really seemed quite handsome!

"What the hell is going on?!" bemoaned Inner Sakura. "He totally doesn't suck at this!!"

Yes, Sakura agreed, he was clearly quite skilled! Especially when he did THAT...

"...you're a really good kisser..." Sakura breathed.

"Mmmm..." Lee sighed against her lips and pulled her gently closer, one hand softly stroking her hair.

His hard work was definitely paying off this time...

Yes, he decided, it was a good thing taijutsu wasn't the only thing Gai-sensei had trained him in!

XXXXX

"What's going on?!" Tenten asked, feeling confused and overwhelmed as Shino handed her her shoes.

"I already explained," Shino replied, unceremoniously pushing the girl out the door.

"What, the four day mating thing?? You've got to be joking!" Tenten asserted, the cement of the Aburames' front walk cold against her bare feet.

"No," Shino said, pulling the door shut.

"But I'm a GIRL! A HUMAN girl!" Tenten protested, dropping her shoes to catch the door with her hand. "It's not like I'm going to hatch a bunch of eggs or something!"

"A brood," Shino corrected, "a brood of eggs."

"Whatever! That's not going to happen with me because I'm a GIRL!" she insisted.

"..." Shino said as he set about prying her fingers from the doorjamb.

"Wait. Wait a minute! I'm not hatching eggs, right Shino?? RIGHT?!"

"Good luck," he said as he shut the door in Tenten's face.

"Oh..."

Staring blankly at the door, Tenten swallowed hard.

"Shit," she cursed,bending down slowly to pick up her shoes, "I am SO grounded..."

XXXXX

Akamaru recalled that once, when Kiba was six, he'd thrown such a tremendous fit at the market over not getting the toy he wanted that his mother had immediately dragged him home, having his father spank him so hard that he'd complained about his butt hurting for a week.

Well, Akamaru sensed another of those fits coming on...

"Everyone got some, Akamaru! EVERYONE!! Even Choji!! What the hell kind of fic is this anyway?!"

"Arf!" his pup reminded him.

"I know, I know, stop bringing it up!!"

"Arf-arf!" he exclaimed.

"Hey, I wasn't THAT drunk!!"

"Aruuuu..." Akamaru whined sadly. Maybe it was best to keep quiet about it...

"But I'm HOT, damnit!! Look at me!! Look at these pecs!! And my abs!! Just look at this muscle definition!!"

Akamaru cocked his head at the now shirtless boy. Yes, his Kiba looked like a perfect stud, as usual.

"What girl wouldn't want to go home with this?! And check it out!! What about THAT, huh?! Some girls say size doesn't matter, but we both know they're lying!"

Growling at the stupidity of the female species, Akamaru scratched his right ear. What the hell was wrong with girls, anyway?!

"And it's not like I don't know how to use it! Oh, I'm an EXPERT! You know how much I practice!!"

"Arr-arr!" Akamaru agreed enthusiastically.

"Yeah!! Every night! At least three or four times!! And then when I wake up, too! And during the morning training break! And at lunchtime! And right when I get home... if I can even wait that long...!"

Barking loudly in agreement, Akamaru jumped up to frolic around his master. There was nobody who practiced harder than Kiba!

"Damn straight!!" Kiba shouted, raising his fist in a gesture that would have made Rock Lee proud.

"I'm the hottest guy on the planet!!" Kiba paraded about his room proudly (and nakedly), occasionally pausing to do action poses in his mirror.

"Arf arf arr-arr!!"

"...so..." Kiba mused, suddenly halting his strut to scratch his head, "How come I can't seem to get any, Akamaru?"

Akamaru plopped down beside Kiba, pondering the inexplicable strangeness of human females.

If only Kiba were a dog, he would surely have humped as many legs as Akamaru had!

XXXXX

"Hey, pass me a beer, would you?"

"No problem."

"So where are your kids?"

"I sent them to train with Gai for the week. Yours?"

"Oh, about a mile down the beach. Managing teenage hormones, if you know what I mean."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

The two men sipped their beer as they lounged lazily back in their beach chairs, feet dug into the sand and afternoon sun warm on their faces.

"Best mission ever," Kakashi said.

"Damn straight," agreed Asuma.

END!!