Set in 7th Year to Post-Hogwarts. No spoilers.
Summary: a vignette about around Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. A secret relationship grows tense. Then everything blows up once Voldemort rises to power and Harry dies.
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Falling Angels
By Jewel
A Harry Potter Fanfiction.
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i.
[fall into nothing]
Gentle caress ... lingering kiss ... entwined limbs ... whispers of movement on silken sheets.
Meaningless words to fill the empty room... Neither brave enough to breach the chasm and drop the veils.
Soft moonlight floods the room ... sighs and moans of pleasure mingle above the bed... A voiceless plea rips through the night and falls on deaf ears.
Help me
Save me
Love me
The sun dances on the horizon, casting streaks of gold and red across the sky. Even breathing greets the dawn and neither believes the other is asleep.
Wordlessly they rise from the warm bed and gather their clothing. Painfully civil, they barely glance at each other.
By the time the sun claws its way into heaven, the room is vacant. And within minutes of their departure, ice coats the walls of the room.
ii.
[i promise to let you go]
He is staring at her again. She can feel his hot gaze on the back of her head. Still, she keeps her eyes leveled on the chalkboard. He makes a joke, and his loyal cronies dutifully laugh. She glances at her friends. They've turned around to throw dirty looks at the students occupying to back of the classroom. It takes some effort, but she pulls her attention back to the drone of the professor's steady, monotonous voice. He does not matter enough to occupy her attention when there is knowledge to be gleaned.
She is ignoring him again. Pretending that he does not exist. Pretending she does not know that she is the only thought on his mind, both day and night. She is content to sit beside her friends and play out the role of the studious pupil they have come to know and depend upon. She sees no problem in her duplicity. So he turns to his own friends and begins to act his role out. He will give her what she wants.
iii.
[spin in dizzy circles]
Invisible hands pull at the strings, commanding the marionettes in their intricate dances. The weeks go by and everyone plays the roles to perfection.
Their hands brush in the crowded corridors. He continues to give her sullen glares. And she continues her silence.
They dance in beautiful circles, spiraling around in dizzy steps. Dark waltzes in the moonlight continue...
Shadows play along the walls, mirroring the perfect silence of the room. The breathing is heavier than before. And the kisses are no longer gentle.
The very air in the room screams out in desperation, smothered by the oppressive noise of their forced indifference.
Help me
Save me
Love me
Each morning the ice grows thicker. Threatening not to melt at night. Civility has dissolved into a chilly determination not to be the weaker one.
Neither is willing to lose themselves into the other. Neither is willing to give up the other. The swirls of emotions scream out for resolution.
iv.
[spiral into the abyss]
The screaming will not stop. Heart-wrenching shriek after shriek echoes into the blind night. Confusion holds its silken leash tightly against the pull of reason.
No one can make sense of what is going on. She looks for him. Looks for them. And is torn between who to go to.
The strings are being cut, and no one knows how to act without direction.
Blood washes the ground. She can't say anymore if she cares whose it is. The good or the bad. They all form one person in her head. And she can't make sense of any of it.
Help me
Save me
Friend after friend after mentor fall. She still can't decide whose side to rush to. So she stays away. She doesn't know who her enemy is anymore.
v.
[millions of diamonds strewn across the night sky]
The last of the screams fade away. Leaving in its wake a dead silence that is much more painful. Everywhere there are bodies littering the ground. Some are still alive. Most are not.
She looks around for her friends. She can't find any of them.
It is not a cold day. But she can't stop shaking.
Everything is gone. Everything is lost.
And none of it matters anymore...
vi.
[catch them with you outstretched fingertips]
Time does not heal all wounds. Time does not take away the pain. Time does not bring back the dead. Time does not make the confusion any less confusing.
Come back to me, she whispers on to the empty room. Save me...
The sun moves across the sky, and shadows dance along the walls. Big, monstrous shadows waltz around the room, only to fade away into darkness when the sun finally sets.
She still does not move.
A soft knocking on the door interrupts the silence. She doesn't respond. After a few minutes the person leaves, their footsteps loud on the stone stairs leading out of the dormitory.
She shouldn't be here.
Exhaustion wins out and sleeps pulls her back under.
Below stairs they're talking about her. They whisper angrily. Some sound sad. Others are full of outrage. They're so tired of arguing. They just want everything to be fixed. But they haven't the patience or hope left to fix anything.
Where else does she have to go?
She doesn't have anyone...
vii.
[fall forever and escape]
The sun rises again. The shadows are back. They're laughing again. They're all alone in their mirth. She can't stand the taunts anymore. She turns away from the wall and stares out the window. The sky is actually clear. Outside birds are singing. They're all alone in their celebration.
Someone is knocking on her door again. She doesn't respond.
Open the door, the voice commands. She knows this voice. Over the years she has alternately come to dread and fear and admire that silken voice. The voice that promised power... The voice that had lied over and over again... The voice that could manipulate so perfectly and without regret. A true leader... An unrecognized hero.
Come to me... Save me. Please.
You can't hide away forever, the voice continues to say. You have been many things over the years, but never a coward. You have to face the world. You can't hide away forever.
Forgive me, she pleads silently. Come back to me. Save me. Love me.
viii.
[i will be waiting at the end of your flight]
He wants her back.
He is not alone in the large, dark, damp chamber. People are everywhere, holding goblets full of potions he doesn't want to guess at. Everyone is talking excitedly, but he is deaf to the conversations. The loud voices have dimmed to a dull murmur for him. He has but one thought on his mind.
He wants her back.
He leans lazily against a cold, stone wall. He crosses his arms over his chest and carefully surveys the other occupants of the room. He can almost physically feel their mixed terror and elation. It is enough to suffocate anyone.
A man in black and voluminous robes enters the chamber and ascends the raised dais. The nervous chatter dies instantly. Elation is quickly overtaken by terror.
Everyone sinks to their knees. Forcing his face into a mask of blank calm, he, too, drops gracefully to his knees.
This is all he has left.
ix.
[fall into nothing]
The past cannot be undone. You can only run from it for so long. It will catch you. And you will either perish or triumph.
Months have passed. Everything is different. Everyone has changed.
The birds no longer sing. And shadows dance freely everywhere. Their dark robes swirl merrily in the streets. Their chants rise up to the sky and everyone else is afraid to look up and see the embodiment of their fear.
The world is not save for anyone who does not wear the mark. And everyday the ranks grow in numbers. There is little resistance. There are not many people left who are willing to play hero.
She has long since left her room.
She has changed more than anyone else has. There is a hollowness in her voice. And her eyes have learned to hide her emotions. She has become a leader. They give her freedom to execute her plans as she sees fit.
She has become ruthless.
Her sojourns in the libraries have become anticipated and somewhat feared.
She has not let them down as yet, but she is not what they expected.
Only one person does not look at her with a mix of fear and pity. He looks at her with respect. And she hates him even more. His manipulation just continues on.
x.
[let me be your end]
The room has long since vanished. And taken with it all the ice. The ruins are all that is left. With no one to admire them.
The intricate dance has not stopped. But the veils are finally all gone. Everyone knows now. Nothing is sacred. And nothing is hidden.
The sun continues to crawl lazily across the sky. The moon sends its light, but no one takes the time to revel in it.
Silence is finally broken with the loud screams of pain. And finally the indifference and civility have been burned away.
There is nothing between them anymore. And they have never been further apart.
END
Jewel
07.2004