Disclaimer: Characters herewithin do not, nor will they ever, belong to me.
Author's Note: Just a little story that wouldn't go away until it was written. Don't worry; the next chapter of "Be My Downfall" is in the works and will be posted as soon as possible. In the meantime, enjoy this! Hehehe.
The Way We Get By
by Kristen Elizabeth
Now I'm floating endlessly
Unpacking all my dreams
Funny how we hurry
To hold the hands of time
Funny how we worry
We can't control this life.
I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change.
-Chantal Kreviazuk
He answered the door in nothing but a pair of jeans that had seen better days. It was his day off from whatever work he was doing, private investigation most likely. That was how he usually paid the bills. Tracking people down, scouting them out of hiding, occasionally persuading them with his fists that they needed to pay their debts. It wasn't work he was particularly proud of, but he was, despite popular belief, still human and needed money for such things as food and a place to sleep.
Sleep was the last thing on her mind as she stood at the door of his shoddy apartment. The neighborhood he'd chosen to live in had never quite recovered from the wars of their youth; it remained in shambles, living proof that she could work her hardest to correct past wrongs for as long as she lived, but she'd never truly be able to heal all the wounds of the world.
But she wasn't thinking about her duties as President right then, either. All she could think about was him.
"You're early," Heero said, one bare arm propped up against the door frame.
His stare was intense enough to make her blush like the schoolgirl she'd been when they first met. He wasn't undressing her with his eyes, he was fucking her with them. "My meeting let out sooner than I'd expected," Relena replied. "And I have nothing scheduled for the rest of the day."
"A whole five hours." He snorted softly. "We might actually make it to the bed."
His words were chosen to hurt her, and they did ever so slightly, but right then she couldn't have cared less. It had been too long since they'd had any real time together. Their last meeting had been in the bathroom of a restaurant he'd followed her to, up against the cold tile…frantic thrusting and quick fireworks.
"Are you going to invite me in?" Relena asked, lowering the sunglasses meant to hide her face.
Heero stepped back. The button on his jeans was undone; a dark trail of hair led down the hard plane of his abdomen and disappeared into the denim. "Do you need an invitation?"
She didn't, so she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. He was already heading into the living room, leaving her to hang up her coat and remove her sunglasses, headscarf and shoes. Relena followed, and stood before him in her slim, straight skirt and silky blouse, the very picture of propriety.
His home could barely be called that. Stark white walls, industrial carpeting, beige couch. No pictures or art decorating the walls, no life at all except for him. Sitting on the ugly sofa, his dark blue eyes the only color in the entire room, he watched her, waiting to see what she would do next.
"I've missed you," she told him.
"When? In bed at night? After he's rolled off of you?"
Relena flinched. "Don't be crude, Heero. Please."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the worn knees of his jeans. "I'd just like to know when you think about me. I'd rather it not be while you can still feel him inside of you."
"What if I do?" She stepped closer to him. "Would you begrudge me that? A pleasurable thought during a passionless act?"
"It was your choice."
"No." She looked away, choking on a laugh that melted into a lone tear. "It wasn't. And you should know that." Relena glanced back at him. "You should know that, Heero."
Silence blanketed them both. She closed her eyes as he approached her; he smelled of the polish he used to clean his gun. His hand slid around the curve of her waist; his fingers splayed across her lower back. With one swift motion, Heero hauled her up against his chest. Her eyes flew open; his hardness pressed into her yielding flesh in a way that left little to the imagination.
"I want you." His voice was rough; she ached with sudden, throbbing desire. "That's all I know."
Heero's mouth crushed against hers with such force that she whimpered. His hands began pulling at her clothes, fast and frantic. She managed to pull out of the kiss just long enough to remind him, "No tears. He bought me this outfit."
"Don't think about him," Heero ordered. But he stilled his hands and undid each button on her blouse until he could strip it off her shoulders. "Just me, Relena."
"Just you," she whispered. He'd found the tender spot on her neck and his tongue was delicious torture against it. She clung to him to steady herself, her hands curling around his upper back.
She felt like a piece of delicate glass when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to his bed, a china doll he'd stolen from its owner for his own amusement. And the amazing thing was that she didn't mind his possession. The world's most powerful woman loved nothing more than to entwine herself with this man, and allow him his every pleasure with her body.
Pleasure…yes, the pleasure was incredible. She'd never thought it could be this way, not after the pain and embarrassment of her wedding night. She might have given up on sex entirely if he hadn't found his way back into her life. She would certainly never have known it with her aristocratic husband, who had the best of intentions, but lacked something that was indefinable, but so necessary to intimacy between lovers. Perhaps it was that he himself loved another, but could not be with that person. Despite this, they'd both become accustomed to their twice weekly routine, the same number of thrusts, the parting kiss, the separate baths afterwards to wash away the evidence.
With Heero, she never wanted to bathe afterwards. In fact, she never even wanted to move. She wanted to stay merged with him until they were so united that nothing could part them. He'd taught her to both give and receive, and allowed her to explore her own body as well as his. Nothing was shameful, nothing was forbidden…save for the fact that she was married and it wasn't to him.
In the lull between couplings, they rested, her head on his chest, his fingers playing a silent tune on her ribcage.
"You've lost weight," Heero noted.
"Only a few pounds." Her warm breath caused his nipple to stiffen. "Don't worry; I'll gain it back soon enough."
"You need to take care of yourself."
She smiled. Here he was tender. Here she knew, beyond any doubt, that it wasn't just sex that brought them together. "I pay people to do it for me."
He scowled. "Then they need to do a better job. You're pale, too."
"It's to be expected." Relena leaned her head back to look up at him. "Really, I'm all right." Heero's arms circled her, wrapping her up in his strength and warmth. "Although, there is something."
"What?"
She turned her face into his shoulder, inhaling the musky scent of their sex still lingering on his skin. After pressing her lips against him in a soft kiss, Relena sat up. The sheets pooled around her waist. She looked down at him without expression.
"I'm pregnant." Heero sat up on his elbows, but said nothing. "I have no idea if it's yours or his," she continued. "And I don't care to know. I've always believed that babies are conceived from true, passionate love. Therefore, it can only be yours, Heero."
He lowered himself back down to the pillows, expelling a long breath as he went. For a full minute, he stared at the ceiling. When he finally spoke, his tone was flat. "After all these years…you still love me."
"I'm very stubborn."
Heero shook his head. "Too stubborn. You'll have it…won't you?"
"You know I will."
"He'll adore you. The world will love you even more," he said with much bitterness. "You'll be the Queen of Mothers, the saint and her blessed child."
Relena looked down at her hands. They trembled in her lap. "He'll adore the child, no doubt."
"And what makes you think any of this interests me?"
"I don't. I just thought you deserved to hear it from me first. I plan to hold a press conference within the next week or so, to make the announcement." She folded one arm across her bare breasts. "He doesn't even know yet."
Heero sat up to face her. "You'll tell him tonight. When you should be here, in my bed, you'll be lying in his, telling him he's immortalized himself inside you. Well, congratulations, Madam President. You've done the only thing you yourself were bred for…produced another branch of the Sanq Kingdom's royal family…"
She slapped him across the face, hard enough to leave a mark. When he'd recovered from the shock of her palm against his cheek, Heero's eyes clouded over, like a hurricane rolling across an ocean shore. He grabbed her wrists.
"Heero…don't!" Relena cried out as he pushed her down to the bed and covered her body. His legs held hers in place; he pinned her arms behind her head. "Punish me all you like, but this was your choice!"
He loomed over her like a fallen angel, a man so lost that he might never be found again. "No, it wasn't. Not anymore than marrying him was your choice."
"You didn't choose to run away from me and stay away for six years?"
Heero stared at her for a moment. Lying as she was beneath him, without control, he was no better than her husband, the man she'd married to fill the void in her heart that he'd left behind. "I had to," he said. His forehead dropped to the crook of her neck and he released her wrists. "I had to."
"And I have to do this." Relena touched his arms hesitantly and slowly pried him up until she could see his face. "I'll have this baby. And to everyone in the world, it will be his…and I'll belong to him even more. But here..." She placed her hand over her heart. "And here…" Her other hand covered the same spot on his chest. "We'll know the truth."
Without another word, he entered her, making love to her gently in deference to the child who now grew within her.
Relena languished in his bed for as long as possible, but when the sunlight streaming through the blinds on his window darkened, she forced herself to get up. Heero was dozing on his stomach, his head resting on one powerful arm. She dressed quickly, watching him the whole time. It was only when she was about to leave that he stirred.
"When will you be back?"
She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "He leaves on a business trip at the end of the month; he'll be gone for three days. If I can rearrange a few things, I might be able to spend at least one night."
Heero rolled over onto his back. "One day, Relena. One day you'll be mine every night."
Because he needed to believe that, she nodded. "One day."
"I'm home. Relena?"
She glanced up from her paperwork as her husband entered the bedroom. "How was your day?"
Quatre sank down onto the edge of their bed and shrugged out of his expensive coat. "Long. And boring. Yours?"
"The same." She cleared her throat. "Are you hungry? I'm not, but I could order up something if you'd like."
"I ate at the office."
"With Trowa?"
Quatre froze for a brief moment. "Um…no. I was alone."
It was a lie and they both knew it, but Relena let it go. She'd had her lover that day; it seemed only fair that he have his. She closed up the report she was working on and stood up. "I should get ready for bed. Morning seems to come quicker and quicker these days."
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Quatre smiled as it was her turn to freeze up. "Your obstetrician's office called this morning after you'd left for work to confirm your first pre-natal appointment."
Relena's shoulders relaxed, but not much. "I was waiting until the right moment to tell you."
"Does it make you happy, Relena?"
"How could it not?" she whispered. After a moment, she blinked and gave him another of her world-famous smiles. "We're going to have a baby."
"We are." He rose and crossed over to her. "I'm going to do better, Relena. I promise."
She nodded, her eyes shimmering with scalding tears. "I know."
"Can I stay with you tonight?" he asked, politely, as though he were asking a debutante for a dance.
Her body still sang Heero's name; she could even smell him in her hair. But she answered, "Of course. Let me just take a quick bath."
Fini
Author's Note: Just a little story that wouldn't go away until it was written. Don't worry; the next chapter of "Be My Downfall" is in the works and will be posted as soon as possible. In the meantime, enjoy this! Hehehe.
The Way We Get By
by Kristen Elizabeth
Now I'm floating endlessly
Unpacking all my dreams
Funny how we hurry
To hold the hands of time
Funny how we worry
We can't control this life.
I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change.
-Chantal Kreviazuk
He answered the door in nothing but a pair of jeans that had seen better days. It was his day off from whatever work he was doing, private investigation most likely. That was how he usually paid the bills. Tracking people down, scouting them out of hiding, occasionally persuading them with his fists that they needed to pay their debts. It wasn't work he was particularly proud of, but he was, despite popular belief, still human and needed money for such things as food and a place to sleep.
Sleep was the last thing on her mind as she stood at the door of his shoddy apartment. The neighborhood he'd chosen to live in had never quite recovered from the wars of their youth; it remained in shambles, living proof that she could work her hardest to correct past wrongs for as long as she lived, but she'd never truly be able to heal all the wounds of the world.
But she wasn't thinking about her duties as President right then, either. All she could think about was him.
"You're early," Heero said, one bare arm propped up against the door frame.
His stare was intense enough to make her blush like the schoolgirl she'd been when they first met. He wasn't undressing her with his eyes, he was fucking her with them. "My meeting let out sooner than I'd expected," Relena replied. "And I have nothing scheduled for the rest of the day."
"A whole five hours." He snorted softly. "We might actually make it to the bed."
His words were chosen to hurt her, and they did ever so slightly, but right then she couldn't have cared less. It had been too long since they'd had any real time together. Their last meeting had been in the bathroom of a restaurant he'd followed her to, up against the cold tile…frantic thrusting and quick fireworks.
"Are you going to invite me in?" Relena asked, lowering the sunglasses meant to hide her face.
Heero stepped back. The button on his jeans was undone; a dark trail of hair led down the hard plane of his abdomen and disappeared into the denim. "Do you need an invitation?"
She didn't, so she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. He was already heading into the living room, leaving her to hang up her coat and remove her sunglasses, headscarf and shoes. Relena followed, and stood before him in her slim, straight skirt and silky blouse, the very picture of propriety.
His home could barely be called that. Stark white walls, industrial carpeting, beige couch. No pictures or art decorating the walls, no life at all except for him. Sitting on the ugly sofa, his dark blue eyes the only color in the entire room, he watched her, waiting to see what she would do next.
"I've missed you," she told him.
"When? In bed at night? After he's rolled off of you?"
Relena flinched. "Don't be crude, Heero. Please."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the worn knees of his jeans. "I'd just like to know when you think about me. I'd rather it not be while you can still feel him inside of you."
"What if I do?" She stepped closer to him. "Would you begrudge me that? A pleasurable thought during a passionless act?"
"It was your choice."
"No." She looked away, choking on a laugh that melted into a lone tear. "It wasn't. And you should know that." Relena glanced back at him. "You should know that, Heero."
Silence blanketed them both. She closed her eyes as he approached her; he smelled of the polish he used to clean his gun. His hand slid around the curve of her waist; his fingers splayed across her lower back. With one swift motion, Heero hauled her up against his chest. Her eyes flew open; his hardness pressed into her yielding flesh in a way that left little to the imagination.
"I want you." His voice was rough; she ached with sudden, throbbing desire. "That's all I know."
Heero's mouth crushed against hers with such force that she whimpered. His hands began pulling at her clothes, fast and frantic. She managed to pull out of the kiss just long enough to remind him, "No tears. He bought me this outfit."
"Don't think about him," Heero ordered. But he stilled his hands and undid each button on her blouse until he could strip it off her shoulders. "Just me, Relena."
"Just you," she whispered. He'd found the tender spot on her neck and his tongue was delicious torture against it. She clung to him to steady herself, her hands curling around his upper back.
She felt like a piece of delicate glass when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to his bed, a china doll he'd stolen from its owner for his own amusement. And the amazing thing was that she didn't mind his possession. The world's most powerful woman loved nothing more than to entwine herself with this man, and allow him his every pleasure with her body.
Pleasure…yes, the pleasure was incredible. She'd never thought it could be this way, not after the pain and embarrassment of her wedding night. She might have given up on sex entirely if he hadn't found his way back into her life. She would certainly never have known it with her aristocratic husband, who had the best of intentions, but lacked something that was indefinable, but so necessary to intimacy between lovers. Perhaps it was that he himself loved another, but could not be with that person. Despite this, they'd both become accustomed to their twice weekly routine, the same number of thrusts, the parting kiss, the separate baths afterwards to wash away the evidence.
With Heero, she never wanted to bathe afterwards. In fact, she never even wanted to move. She wanted to stay merged with him until they were so united that nothing could part them. He'd taught her to both give and receive, and allowed her to explore her own body as well as his. Nothing was shameful, nothing was forbidden…save for the fact that she was married and it wasn't to him.
In the lull between couplings, they rested, her head on his chest, his fingers playing a silent tune on her ribcage.
"You've lost weight," Heero noted.
"Only a few pounds." Her warm breath caused his nipple to stiffen. "Don't worry; I'll gain it back soon enough."
"You need to take care of yourself."
She smiled. Here he was tender. Here she knew, beyond any doubt, that it wasn't just sex that brought them together. "I pay people to do it for me."
He scowled. "Then they need to do a better job. You're pale, too."
"It's to be expected." Relena leaned her head back to look up at him. "Really, I'm all right." Heero's arms circled her, wrapping her up in his strength and warmth. "Although, there is something."
"What?"
She turned her face into his shoulder, inhaling the musky scent of their sex still lingering on his skin. After pressing her lips against him in a soft kiss, Relena sat up. The sheets pooled around her waist. She looked down at him without expression.
"I'm pregnant." Heero sat up on his elbows, but said nothing. "I have no idea if it's yours or his," she continued. "And I don't care to know. I've always believed that babies are conceived from true, passionate love. Therefore, it can only be yours, Heero."
He lowered himself back down to the pillows, expelling a long breath as he went. For a full minute, he stared at the ceiling. When he finally spoke, his tone was flat. "After all these years…you still love me."
"I'm very stubborn."
Heero shook his head. "Too stubborn. You'll have it…won't you?"
"You know I will."
"He'll adore you. The world will love you even more," he said with much bitterness. "You'll be the Queen of Mothers, the saint and her blessed child."
Relena looked down at her hands. They trembled in her lap. "He'll adore the child, no doubt."
"And what makes you think any of this interests me?"
"I don't. I just thought you deserved to hear it from me first. I plan to hold a press conference within the next week or so, to make the announcement." She folded one arm across her bare breasts. "He doesn't even know yet."
Heero sat up to face her. "You'll tell him tonight. When you should be here, in my bed, you'll be lying in his, telling him he's immortalized himself inside you. Well, congratulations, Madam President. You've done the only thing you yourself were bred for…produced another branch of the Sanq Kingdom's royal family…"
She slapped him across the face, hard enough to leave a mark. When he'd recovered from the shock of her palm against his cheek, Heero's eyes clouded over, like a hurricane rolling across an ocean shore. He grabbed her wrists.
"Heero…don't!" Relena cried out as he pushed her down to the bed and covered her body. His legs held hers in place; he pinned her arms behind her head. "Punish me all you like, but this was your choice!"
He loomed over her like a fallen angel, a man so lost that he might never be found again. "No, it wasn't. Not anymore than marrying him was your choice."
"You didn't choose to run away from me and stay away for six years?"
Heero stared at her for a moment. Lying as she was beneath him, without control, he was no better than her husband, the man she'd married to fill the void in her heart that he'd left behind. "I had to," he said. His forehead dropped to the crook of her neck and he released her wrists. "I had to."
"And I have to do this." Relena touched his arms hesitantly and slowly pried him up until she could see his face. "I'll have this baby. And to everyone in the world, it will be his…and I'll belong to him even more. But here..." She placed her hand over her heart. "And here…" Her other hand covered the same spot on his chest. "We'll know the truth."
Without another word, he entered her, making love to her gently in deference to the child who now grew within her.
Relena languished in his bed for as long as possible, but when the sunlight streaming through the blinds on his window darkened, she forced herself to get up. Heero was dozing on his stomach, his head resting on one powerful arm. She dressed quickly, watching him the whole time. It was only when she was about to leave that he stirred.
"When will you be back?"
She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "He leaves on a business trip at the end of the month; he'll be gone for three days. If I can rearrange a few things, I might be able to spend at least one night."
Heero rolled over onto his back. "One day, Relena. One day you'll be mine every night."
Because he needed to believe that, she nodded. "One day."
"I'm home. Relena?"
She glanced up from her paperwork as her husband entered the bedroom. "How was your day?"
Quatre sank down onto the edge of their bed and shrugged out of his expensive coat. "Long. And boring. Yours?"
"The same." She cleared her throat. "Are you hungry? I'm not, but I could order up something if you'd like."
"I ate at the office."
"With Trowa?"
Quatre froze for a brief moment. "Um…no. I was alone."
It was a lie and they both knew it, but Relena let it go. She'd had her lover that day; it seemed only fair that he have his. She closed up the report she was working on and stood up. "I should get ready for bed. Morning seems to come quicker and quicker these days."
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Quatre smiled as it was her turn to freeze up. "Your obstetrician's office called this morning after you'd left for work to confirm your first pre-natal appointment."
Relena's shoulders relaxed, but not much. "I was waiting until the right moment to tell you."
"Does it make you happy, Relena?"
"How could it not?" she whispered. After a moment, she blinked and gave him another of her world-famous smiles. "We're going to have a baby."
"We are." He rose and crossed over to her. "I'm going to do better, Relena. I promise."
She nodded, her eyes shimmering with scalding tears. "I know."
"Can I stay with you tonight?" he asked, politely, as though he were asking a debutante for a dance.
Her body still sang Heero's name; she could even smell him in her hair. But she answered, "Of course. Let me just take a quick bath."
Fini