Yoshimo Studios Present, for your entertainment... Pre-Prologue: Preparing for the worst
Fire Emblem 7, the Parody
It was bound to happen
-Chibi-Zellos, Co-Director of Yoshimo Studios
"Hey guys!" Yoshimo cheered, rushing in. "I worked out the scripts for the Fire Emblem fic! Eliwood, Hector, Lyn, get over here!"
The three nobles from Fire Emblem 7 approached Yoshimo. Lyndis brushed some hair out of her eyes. "You got some scripts to show us, I assume?"
"I put my full trust in the three main characters of the game to inform me if this script will get some good reviews."
The three looked at each other, shrugged, and took a copy each. They flipped through the pages, smirking.
"Well" Hector chuckled, his armor jiggling loosely, "working on this project should prove some laughs."
The red haired noble nodded, and handed Yoshimo back his copy. "Well, I personally like it. Should provide some entertainment."
Yoshimo grinned in pride. "And you, Lyn?"
The green haired nomad girl scratched her chin. "Well, it's a good script and all, but nearing the end you have me becoming Kent's girlfriend..."
"And you don't like him?"
"No, he's a nice guy and all, but...well..." Lyn looked over out the door of Yoshimo's office, where Florina was waiting. Lyn blushed a bit, and scratched her cheek.
Yoshimo raised an eyebrow in a quizzical manner. "What are you..." He suddenly caught on. "Oh. ...OH! You mean you're...?"
Lyn nodded. "So...just you rework that bit, please?"
"Well, I'll try. But if we have two lesbians in the fic, we need at least ONE gay guy for balance. But who..."
All four looked at the door, as a short haired Lucius entered, carrying drinks and snacks. "Hi guys. Just bringing you some refreshments for your meeting."
The nobles and the director all grinned evilly.
"...Why are you looking at me like that?" Lucius asked, getting nervous.
"This. Is. HUMILIATING!" Lucius screamed. Miyuu was busy working on the seams of his robes. "You cast a Growth spell on my hair! I look like a GIRL now!"
"I could give you some breasts to complete the image" Miyuu teased.
"Shut up!" Lucius turned away, huffing, arms folded across his chest. "Next thing I know, you'll be wanting to apply glitter and eyeshadow."
Miyuu grinned evilly.
Lucius caught that grin out of the corner of his eye. "...you wouldn't dare..."
Yoshimo was about to call together some of the Fire Emblem crew to talk about the new, revised scripts, when a pissed Lucius burst in, seething.
"YOU NO GOOD, DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDREL!" he screamed, grabbing Yoshimo by the collar and throttling him.
Yoshimo was taken aback. "Wh...what's wrong, good monk?" he squeaked.
"I'll tell you what's wrong! You're turning me gay! And what's worse, a stereotypical uke!"
"You seriously called your character that?"
"Nah, that was Miyuu. BUT STILL!"
"W..well, I was about the summon in the others to talk about the script. I suppose I could invite you as well. But do realize that two of our characters are lesbians, so we need a gay guy or two for balance..."
"Well you can make it anybody except me!" Lucius barked, before throwing Yoshimo back into his chair and storming out.
Yoshimo traced his finger along the rim of his glass, sitting solemnly in the snack bar. I need someone to be gay. I need balance. But none of the Fire Emblem cast would want to be. Who...who...He looked up, and noticed two familiar faces a few booths away. A teenager in his earlier 15s, with short, purple hair, a few scratches across his arms and cheeks, and an older one, aged 19 maybe, with a red theme going for him.
Kozo Grausherra and Acentine Darass. Two of the newer and, as Yoshimo put it, scarier additions to Chibi-Zell's cast. The two were okay people, but what bothered Yoshimo the most was not the fact that they were gay (he was perfectly cool with that), it was the fact they weren't all that secretive about it.
Even now, the two of them had abandoned their drinks, and were necking in favor of drinking. Yoshimo shuddered a bit, and then was hit with a brilliant idea.
"Thank you all for coming" Yoshimo bowed in his seat. "I called you all here to talk about the script for my newest project: A parody of the game that made you all famous."
Wallace and Hector gave each other the high five. Lyn smiled.
"If you'll notice, I also invited Kozo and Acentine, the former of them who will be helping us with this project. Now, let's get started..."
"We already looked over the first draft of the script" Eliwood continued, passing around revamped versions. "We hit a few snags, so Yoshimo worked on a second copy. A third will be in making, as soon as we get review from you guys."
Yoshimo nodded. "Right, first order of business: We need balance. As we have a lesbian pairing, Lyn and Florina..."
The two smiled, holding hands under the table.
"I have tried looking for a character who could be gay. As Lucius made it clear that he wanted no part in that..."
"Ya damn straight" Lucius growled.
"I have called Kozo here to see if he could help us. Kozo, would you like to..."
Kozo was a little preoccupied in a deep lip lock with Acentine.
"Kozo? Could you...guys, would you mind..."
Neither responded. Kozo was busy hooking one arm around the back of Acentine's neck to draw him closer, and his other was gently massaging his back.
"WOULD YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF AND PAY ATTENTION!?!?!?"
The two broke off. "…What?" Acetine asked, acting totally innocent.
"No need to be shouting, we heard you" Kozo growled over, bearing his fangs. Below his breath, he added, "… ya pint-sized frog…"
Yoshimo sighed, and rubbed his temple. "As I was saying, Kozo, would you like to work with us in this project?"
Kozo put on a grin. "Sure. But we must make a deal."
"Alright, what?" Yoshimo asked, expecting to have to make another money deal.
"By then end of this, I'd better have learned something. And I don't just mean a random piece of knowledge, I mean something I can use…" as Kozo spoke, his gaze shifted backwards to Acentine. Yoshimo got the hint.
"And if you help me make it and I don't?"
"Then I sue for breach of contract and any money you make goes directly to me" Kozo grinned, holding out his contract.
Yoshimo paused, read it over, read the small print, and was about to sign when he saw the evil grin on Kozo's face. Quickly, he took out a small magnifying glass and caught a bit of smaller small print. 'Kozo gets all money regardless of the above…'
"Nice try" Yoshimo said with a sneer. Kozo sighed, before crossing out that bit. "Alright, good" he smiled, and singed.
With that, Kozo rolled up the contract and hid it in his jacket. "You'd better remember" he smirked. Acentine stepped up behind him.
"Why…?"
"Don't worry, darling… everything I do, I do for you, my ruby…" and with that, he caught Acentine in another lip lock.
"O...kay..." Yoshimo felt his stomach working up. "Moving...along...if any one has any comments about their character being portrayed in this, feel free to speak up. Keep in mind that this is a parody, and your personality might be heightened, or even altered."
As the group took their scripts, and looked through it, Serra let out a "hmm". She leaned over at Erk, and tugged at his shirt. "Do I really sound like this?"
Erk nodded. "I think your character may have even been tuned down."
"Gee, I had no idea...I thought you were just a moody kind of guy." Serra looked teary eyed at the teenaged magi. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"... ... I...suppose..."
"Aww! Thank you!" Serra gave Erk a little hug, before returning to the script.
The purple haired magic user blushed a bit, before burying his nose in the script.
Wallace suddenly broke the silent whispering by giving a huge, deep laugh. "I love it!" he said loudly. "It's just perfect!"
Yoshimo smirked. "I could've sworn you'd not like how I hyped your weakness of uuuuuubbbbeeerr sloooooooow speeeeeeed" Yoshimo ended in slow motion for a little taunt.
Wallace laughed again. "Ah, you're not to far off!We generals are usually as slow as hell!"
Yoshimo nodded, before noticing a raised hand. "Yes, Marcus?"
"A little complaint here..." the paladin pointed out. "They way you have me set out...as a Sir Holier -Than-Thou...I may be a Paladin, but that's just a title. I'm not like this at all..." he looked over at Eliwood. "Am I?"
Eliwood resisted the urge to tease the veteran by saying "yes", and just shook his head.
After a few more minutes of discussing among the characters about their personality in the parody and basic story elements, they had finally come to some conclusions.
Yoshimo put all his notes into a folder. "Thank you all for your input. If you would all just visit Miyuu and the others in costume, they'll get you ready for the production. I'll just finish off this final version of the script."
Matthew pushed his chair back, and stood up. Guy soon followed. "Well, it's good to know that you're just sticking to me owing Matthew a favor or two..." The myrmidon started.
"Four to be exact" Matthew pointed out.
"And not interested in him" Guy finished, giving Matthew a death glare. "He can be as annoying as Serra sometimes."
"Oh, that hurt, Guy. Truely" Serra pouted, before leaving the room. The thief and the oriental swordsman followed, as well as a lot of the other characters.
Hector rose as slowly as Wallace did, which caught the general's eye. "Oy, somethin' wrong, mister Hector sir?"
"In a bunch of other fics, I always got Florina. Why not this one?"
"Because she's very timid around men, and you'd give her a heart attack."
"I could easily say the same to you, mac. You can make yourself heard during the middle of a rock concert."
"Youwound me,sir" Wallace laughed, before leaving. Hector sulked off, being the last one to leave.
Mainly because the only othertwo left had no intention of leaving just yet. Acentine was busy biting softly at Kozo's shoulder when Yoshimo screamed at them. "WOULD YOU TWO STOP THAT!?!?"
"Aww, Chibi-Zell always let us get away with this, you little…" Kozo whined, and if he had planned on saying anything more, it was hushed by another soft bite from Acentine.
"Yeah, why can't you be more like him?" Acentine pouted for a moment, before returning to his 'work'.
"Because Chibi-Zell is Chibi-Zell. NOW GET OFF OF MY DAMN TABLE!!"
"Um....Miss...Miss Miyuu?" Florina stuttered.
"Hmm?"
"Um...my costume..."
"What's wrong with it? Itchy? Tight?"
"Skimpy."
"How so?"
"It...reveals more of my legs, and my belly's showing."
"And that's a problem because.....?"
"I think we've found the problem here..."
"Thanks again for agreeing to work with us, Roland" Yoshimo said with a smile.
Roland Pegasus, star of the currently canceled Rise of a Champion series, adjusted his cape. "Well, with my main project canceled, I suppose I need to do something to pull my weight around..."
"Excellent. Okay, is everybody ready?"
"All set!" Andy said, giving the thumbs up.
"Ready" Ryuu said from the sound booth.
"Hanging on for dear life, but good to go!" Jez said, clinging to the rafters to keep from falling.
"Okay, Lyn, Roland, take your places for the first scene. And lights....camera...."
Yoshimo held his hands in a praying fashion. "Please, lord, don't let us screw this up...And action!"