The Grand old age of immortaliy(ish).
Read & review. Please.
"Happy Birthday!"
"What? S'not my birthday."
Harmony shrugged,
"I know, but you wouldn't tell me so I've invented one for you!"
"Harm, you don't even know how old I am."
"So tell me."
Spike thought for a second,
"No."
"You don't remember, do you?"
"How could I not know?"
Hamony shrugged again, Spike relented - ish.
"I'm barely 200. Or maybe not. Work it out for yourself."
The blonde looked blank for a moment then her brow furrowed,
"I don't do math."
"I've noticed."
Handing Spike his "birthday present", Harmony smiled brightly, almost looking vaguely intelligent,
"So open it!"
The elder vampire sighed inwardly, and began to open the parcel. Slowly. Harmony grew impatient,
"You're doing this on purpose!"
Spike grinned and nodded his head, trying very hard to wind her up. When it was finally opened, Spike stared at its contents,
"What's it supposed to be?!"
"A Furby."
"A what?!"
"A Furby."
Spike looked at the whatever-it-is incomprehensively,
"So you said, but what *is* it?!"
Harmony took the Furby from Spike, turned it upside-down, and gave it back. Spike jumped as the contraption came alive, talking in its own tongue,
"It's alive!"
His "girlfiend" stood, hands on hips disapprovingly,
"Don't be silly. It's battery powered. How can it be alive?"
"I don't know, but sometimes I swear you run on Duracell."
Spike turned up on Buffy's doorstep, sporting his new toy. Buffy answered his knocks, annoyed that he should interupt her Buffy/Riley quality time.
"You wanted something?"
"Um, yeah." He held up the Furby, "What's this?"
"She got you a Furby?!"
"Yeah. So anyway, what is it?"
Willow sat with the fuzzy fiend on her knee, "tickling" it. The vampire cringed as his present giggled like a child and made strange noises.
"It's an...umm...it's a friend."
"I don't need a friend, especially not if it's been chosen by Harmony."
Willow handed it back to the unwilling demon hunter,
"What are you going to do with it?"
Spike looked hopeful,
"Confiscate its batteries?...or pretend it fell down the stairs and broke..."
"You don't have stairs."
"I dropped it then....accidentally-on-purpose."
Willow smiled,
"Or deliberately-by-accident."
"Glad you see things my way!"
Everyone fell silent as the Furby began to snore, then all movement ceased. Spike held it up cautiously,
"Is it dead?"
Buffy took the toy and turned it upside-down as Harmony had done before, it began to barble again, Spike snarled at her,
"Now look what you've done!"
The grown vampire began to whine,
"Somebody shut it up!!"
Spike returned home to Harmony, Furbyless.
"Where'd the Furby go?"
"It was ...stolen. Yeah. It got stolen....by someone...."
She eyed him suspiciously,
"Who?"
"Dunno, didn't get to see their face properly."
Harmony hugged her blondie-bear, trying to console him,
"Oh don't worry, I'll get another!"
"No!!...um...I mean...I wouldn't want you to go to all that trouble."
"No probs."
"So you'll leave it?"
"No, I'll get a new one."
Spike watched helplessly as Harmony left the room, and went in search of a new fuzzy devil. He looked around him in despair, and left. Left Sunnydale.
He came back 3 days later, hoping Harmony had forgotten about the missing present. No such luck. He reutrned home to find 30 Furbies on the bed. The blonde vampiress entered smiling,
"I thought I'd make it up to you."
"Nnygh?!"
Spike turned on her, game face on,
"Get rid of them!! They are evil!! Worse than Angel!!"
She watched as the hysterical vampire sprinted out, she grinned. Revenge, sweet, sweet revenge.
"That'll teach him. No-one stakes Harmony and gets away with it."
She began to clear the bed of the barbling machines, then exploded into dust. Spike laughed, stake in hand,
"Try and reek vengeance on me *now*!"
Read & review. Please.
"Happy Birthday!"
"What? S'not my birthday."
Harmony shrugged,
"I know, but you wouldn't tell me so I've invented one for you!"
"Harm, you don't even know how old I am."
"So tell me."
Spike thought for a second,
"No."
"You don't remember, do you?"
"How could I not know?"
Hamony shrugged again, Spike relented - ish.
"I'm barely 200. Or maybe not. Work it out for yourself."
The blonde looked blank for a moment then her brow furrowed,
"I don't do math."
"I've noticed."
Handing Spike his "birthday present", Harmony smiled brightly, almost looking vaguely intelligent,
"So open it!"
The elder vampire sighed inwardly, and began to open the parcel. Slowly. Harmony grew impatient,
"You're doing this on purpose!"
Spike grinned and nodded his head, trying very hard to wind her up. When it was finally opened, Spike stared at its contents,
"What's it supposed to be?!"
"A Furby."
"A what?!"
"A Furby."
Spike looked at the whatever-it-is incomprehensively,
"So you said, but what *is* it?!"
Harmony took the Furby from Spike, turned it upside-down, and gave it back. Spike jumped as the contraption came alive, talking in its own tongue,
"It's alive!"
His "girlfiend" stood, hands on hips disapprovingly,
"Don't be silly. It's battery powered. How can it be alive?"
"I don't know, but sometimes I swear you run on Duracell."
Spike turned up on Buffy's doorstep, sporting his new toy. Buffy answered his knocks, annoyed that he should interupt her Buffy/Riley quality time.
"You wanted something?"
"Um, yeah." He held up the Furby, "What's this?"
"She got you a Furby?!"
"Yeah. So anyway, what is it?"
Willow sat with the fuzzy fiend on her knee, "tickling" it. The vampire cringed as his present giggled like a child and made strange noises.
"It's an...umm...it's a friend."
"I don't need a friend, especially not if it's been chosen by Harmony."
Willow handed it back to the unwilling demon hunter,
"What are you going to do with it?"
Spike looked hopeful,
"Confiscate its batteries?...or pretend it fell down the stairs and broke..."
"You don't have stairs."
"I dropped it then....accidentally-on-purpose."
Willow smiled,
"Or deliberately-by-accident."
"Glad you see things my way!"
Everyone fell silent as the Furby began to snore, then all movement ceased. Spike held it up cautiously,
"Is it dead?"
Buffy took the toy and turned it upside-down as Harmony had done before, it began to barble again, Spike snarled at her,
"Now look what you've done!"
The grown vampire began to whine,
"Somebody shut it up!!"
Spike returned home to Harmony, Furbyless.
"Where'd the Furby go?"
"It was ...stolen. Yeah. It got stolen....by someone...."
She eyed him suspiciously,
"Who?"
"Dunno, didn't get to see their face properly."
Harmony hugged her blondie-bear, trying to console him,
"Oh don't worry, I'll get another!"
"No!!...um...I mean...I wouldn't want you to go to all that trouble."
"No probs."
"So you'll leave it?"
"No, I'll get a new one."
Spike watched helplessly as Harmony left the room, and went in search of a new fuzzy devil. He looked around him in despair, and left. Left Sunnydale.
He came back 3 days later, hoping Harmony had forgotten about the missing present. No such luck. He reutrned home to find 30 Furbies on the bed. The blonde vampiress entered smiling,
"I thought I'd make it up to you."
"Nnygh?!"
Spike turned on her, game face on,
"Get rid of them!! They are evil!! Worse than Angel!!"
She watched as the hysterical vampire sprinted out, she grinned. Revenge, sweet, sweet revenge.
"That'll teach him. No-one stakes Harmony and gets away with it."
She began to clear the bed of the barbling machines, then exploded into dust. Spike laughed, stake in hand,
"Try and reek vengeance on me *now*!"