A/N: O-town fans (are there any left?) will probably recognize the lyrics at the beginning from the song 'Craving.' I was trying to annoy my sister with the CD...and found myself inspired. It's weird. Anyway. The story contains one-sided slash, so don't flame, because I warned you.

Oh, I don't own 'Degrassi,' or any of the characters, and the song 'Craving' is O-town'

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In the middle of the night
I turn on the light
Too desperate to breathe
Cause I get this craving
There's no time to waste gotta get a taste
Satisfy my need
Baby, won't you save me
Got this craving for you

Toby can't sleep. He thinks he hasn't slept the whole night in weeks, and it shows: dark circles under his eyes, pale skin, falling asleep in all his classes, even Media Immersion. Ashley has noticed, but she has her own problems with Craig and has just told him to sleep.

Toby wishes it was that easy.

Toby wishes that J.T would notice, tell him to sleep because he looks like shit. Toby wishes J.T would notice, because that would mean J.T notices him, even remembers who he is.

Toby wishes it was like Summer Camp again, when they first met and stayed up all night, J.T leaning over the edge of his bunk bed until all the blood rushed to his head and he had to climb down and sit on Toby's bed. When they quickly skipped over all the unimportant stuff like names and hometowns to real stuff: Toby's parents divorce, J.T's class clown title, girls. They got deeper into each other's heads than Toby remembers ever doing before, deeper than most twelve-year-olds could probably remember doing. Toby wishes it was like that.

Toby wishes it was like seventh grade, when he was new, but didn't feel new because of J.T. J.T showed him around and made him feel welcome. He told him who to avoid (Spinner) and who was okay (Emma and Manny) and who was the most beautiful girl in the whole school (Paige). He made him feel....welcome.

When Toby wishes too much, he gets depressed. He climbs up onto the top bunk of his bunk bed and lays there, trying not to wish the J.T was there too. Trying not to think of anything but friendship.

Toby decides just thinking about friendship is too much to ask of a depressed person, so he lets his mind wander.

He lets his mind wander to that sleep over when they didn't sleep at all, and at sunrise, they went out onto his front steps and watched the sun rise. They joked about being dorks, but when Toby turned his head and watched the way the sun lit up J.T's face, he didn't care.

He lets his mind wander to that day after school when they walked home together and stopped at the park and had ice cream. J.T was a messy eater and got ice cream on his chin and Toby had the sudden urge to lick it off and had to shake his head and hand J.T a napkin to keep himself from doing it.

He lets his mind wander to that sleep over at J.T's house, when they both squeezed into J.T's twin bed because Toby forgot his sleeping bag and somehow it wasn't uncomfortable. And then, after talking for a while, about girls and Paige and Kendra, J.T sat up and said he wanted to practice kissing and Toby said no, so J.T just kissed him. And Toby couldn't move or breathe and then it was over and Toby suddenly wished he had said yes because maybe they would have done it again.

When Toby's mind wanders too much, he lays still until morning and gets a reality check at school. J.T, at the popular table. J.T, totally ignoring him. J.T, unknowingly breaking his heart.