Alrighty folks, I know I should be updating other stuff but this oneshot came to me in a fit of inspiration. You may hate it. I'm pretty sure Tabby will think it deals with too many bad things. Don't worry, there's nothing explicit, it's just a story of looking for love in the wrong places, and hints at what that entails. I really hope you do like this!
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"Say you love me." She saw the look in his eyes and hastened to continue. "You don't have to mean it, just say it."
He wanted to refuse. Girls always wanted to hear that from the guy. But then he reconsidered. She didn't want him to mean it, and if he said it, she'd stay. Pulling her closer, he bent to whisper in her ear. "I love you."
He felt the tenseness leave her as she let her body mold against his. Her kisses were more intense now, and it was hard to remember their earlier hesitancy. He matched her enthusiasm easily, drawing on past experiences.
Time passed and then she was the one her broke it off. "I have to go." She gestured toward the clock on the wall. "My parents expect me home at five." Reluctantly he slid off of her, unable to remember how they'd wound up on the floor.
As she picked herself up and adjusted her clothing and hair, he half expected her to blush and ask him if he was free later. The problem with girls was that they wanted commitment. He was already regretting playing along and saying he loved her.
She surprised him though. Tucking the last stray strand of hair behind her here, she gave him a casual wave. "Goodbye." Not even a nonchalant 'see ya' that girls tended to give as an opening, or a hint that there would be a next time.
"Bye." He said just as calmly. She turned and left, not once looking back. That unnerved him more than anything else. When they were both the last to leave the gym after clubs got over, it was perfectly natural for him to make a pass at her. What was strange was her immediate refusal, and then the way she'd changed her mind. One second she wanted nothing to do with him and the next she was even hesitantly encouraging him.
When she'd asked him to tell her he loved her, he'd been reluctant. Not very surprised, but still wary. A lot of girls wanted to hear it right away. What surprised him was that she didn't want him to mean it. And now she'd just left, not even giving him a lingering look goodbye.
It was almost as if it meant as little to her as it did to him.
Not possible, since she was a female and they tended to make the littlest details into huge issues. But still . . . he smirked to himself. At least he wouldn't have yet another girl clinging to him, asking him why he never called. Feeling absurdly pleased with himself, he too straightened himself up and headed out of the gym, confident that he'd never see her again.
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"So?" Miroku nudged his long time best friend's shoulder. "You're going right?"
Inuyasha groaned, running his free hand through his waist length silver white hair. The other was draped around some girls shoulder. "Do I have to?"
"Yes!" Miroku was desperate. "If you go, the entire female population will have to come! The party will be a hit!"
Inuyasha sighed, giving in. "When is it?" They were at school, and it was lunch time, so no teacher would be interrupting their conversation and saving him.
"This weekend." Miroku grinned. "It'll be great. I've hired a live band, not one of those loser high school ones but one made up of these college guys about to put out their first album. I even got a discount because they thought it'd be great publicity. I've heard them! They're really great!" He was still talking but Inuyasha had stopped listening. His eyes were frozen, fixated on an oncoming figure behind his friend.
She was talking with two girls, both of them on one side of her. They were listening intently, laughing occasionally. Her face had a pleasant smile on it as she spoke. It didn't waver even when she saw him and their eyes met. For an instant there was recognition, but she smoothed it away and continued with her conversation, not sparing him a second glance.
It was her. There was nothing incredibly memorable about her appearances, though she was beautiful enough. It was her actions more then anything else that had made him remember her.
"Say you love me."
As they passed, one of her friends broke off mid laughter to rebuke her. "Kagome! I can't believe you said that to her!" And then they were gone, and Inuyasha was left alone with his thoughts.
First there was relief. Kikyo was currently seated right next to him and though she wasn't his girlfriend, she was very possessive and would probably stop helping him out if she knew he'd been with other girls. It was nice to not have to bother asking out girls to parties, so he let her think he was exclusive.
Then there was an unnatural feeling of rejection. He was grateful she hadn't made a scene but did she have to act like he was nothing to her? In all honesty, they didn't mean anything to each other, but he wasn't used to a girl reciprocating his neutral feelings and he felt slightly insulted. Miroku was still talking, so Inuyasha did his best to pay attention and stop thinking about the girl. Kagome.
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"Oh!" Her voice held genuine surprise. "I didn't know anyone else was still here."
"Me neither." He answered honestly, wondering if things were going to get awkward. If she tried to ask him about Kikyo he'd let her know where she stood fast enough.
"Guess we're both over achievers then." Her voice was noncommittal as she reached for her bag. They were in the storage room next to the gym, where Inuyasha had been ever since school got out. If she'd been working in the actual gym, it was no wonder they'd missed each other.
Briskly, but not so fast as to imply nervousness, she packed a binder and whatever she'd been working on into the bag and zipped it up. "Thank you." She added softly.
He looked up from his project, confused. "For what?"
"For the other day, and not mentioning it." She answered, slinging her bag onto one shoulder and adjusting it with the other hand.
"That last part's supposed to be my line." He told her. "And don't say thank you. It's weird."
She grinned. "Sorry, I'm new at all of this."
He didn't bother to feign surprise. "I noticed. But at least you learn fast."
She shrugged, closing off somewhat. "I've always been a fast learner." She turned to leave, but he stopped her by gripping her sleeve.
"It's only four." He said, keeping his voice level but his eyes inviting. "You don't need to be home until five."
She stared at him, almost contemplatively, before letting her back pack slid to the floor. "Alright."
Nothing else needed to be said until he pushed her to the next level. "I love you." He breathed into her ear. Her responses became more natural after that, less mechanical and memorized.
She was home by five that day. In fact, her parents couldn't complain about her being late for the rest of that month.
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She was Kagome Higurashi. Smart, beautiful, and athletic, the students in her grade just couldn't get enough of her. She was popular with all of the girls, warm and friendly whenever they needed advice or companionship, and the guys her age all loved her. If she'd been looking for a boyfriend, she'd have been able to find one fast enough.
But she'd never even accepted one offer of a date. Inuyasha knew, from her instinctive reaction to him, that she was none too gentles in refusing them, but they kept asking. It was hard not to when faced with a girl who had no flaws. She was the last girl anyone would guess to be meeting up with the infamous Inuyasha nearly every day after school. She was too responsible to get mixed up with the likes of him.
Inuyasha didn't bother fooling himself to believe she was in love with him. Whatever made her be with him was not a romantic notion of any kind. Maybe it was a need to break out, be a little rebellious. He didn't think on it too much. Why ruin a good thing by over analyzing it?
Suffice to say, they'd moved on from meeting after school in the gym to exchanging cell numbers and meeting up somewhere private anytime one of them had the urge. He was currently in his favorite rendezvous spot, an abandoned building on the outskirts of town. She'd sent him a text message twenty minutes ago, and he had no doubt that she'd beat him there.
Getting out his car he spotted her familiar red jeep Cherokee and headed up the steps to the front door. After opening it and stepping inside, he turned to the left to go into the living room. To his surprise the door was shut. And locked.
"Hello?" He knocked on the door. "Kagome?"
There was a pause. "I'm sorry." Her voice was soft, slipping through the cracks in the door and drifting to his ears with ease. "I changed my mind."
He might have been angry. He could have slammed his fist against the aging wood and then stomped out of the house, determined not to go to her again. But he'd heard the catch in her voice and recognized it for what it was. She was crying.
Slowly, he leaned his head against the door, whispering softly, "What's wrong?"
"Inuyasha." Her voice was tired, but closer. He stepped away in case she opened the door. "Guys don't like it when girl's cry, so it'd probably be best if you left before you saw me."
"Kagome." He heard her shift. "I want to see you."
He thought she was going to argue, he could almost see her lips part in preparation to object, but then she sighed and a second later he heard her hand touch the knob.
When the door opened, he was struck by how beautiful she was. Her face wasn't blotchy, and rather than making her eyes red and worn, her tears made them clear and vulnerable, glistening softly against her pale skin.
"What's wrong?" He repeated, breaking their rules. They had never talked about their personal lives to each other before. It was strange asking her now, but he felt a need to.
"Say you love me." She whispered, sinking into his outstretched arms. He instinctively hesitated, hating himself for it. "You don't have to mean it, just say it." Her words were an echo of their first meeting.
"I love you." He put as much conviction into those three words as he was able, sensing her need for them. He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, taking her with him. They fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.
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They both had their reasons for keeping their meetings secret. He didn't want to lose his easy date and still wasn't sure he wanted to get too attached to a girl who was so different then the mask she put on at school. She, of course, didn't want it getting around school that she was demeaning herself that way by messing around with one of the popular guys. Her reputation wouldn't stand for it.
The thing about secrets is that once they're over, it's like they never happened at all.
"I think," Her voice was soft but she looked him directly in the eye. "I'm going to start dating." The way she announced it, made it seem like a bigger decision then it actually was.
"Who?" He asked, tucking her hair back behind her ear.
She shrugged. "I don't know, I'll figure that out. I just think it's time I started living my own life, not lashing out in secret."
He wasn't offended by her reference to their meetings. He'd assumed as much. "Go ahead." If his blatant nonchalance about her announcement hurt her, she didn't let it show.
She simply nodded, pulling away from him as she prepared to leave. "This will be the last time I meet you." She added, still unafraid to meet his gaze.
That surprised him. "What?" He couldn't keep his voice as calm as he would have liked. "Why?"
"It wouldn't be right for me to cheat on him." She explained. He snorted but she pressed on. "You don't need me, not really. There are plenty of girls just waiting for you to make a move. And I won't need you once I find someone else."
He'd heard the implication of her words as clearly as if she'd shouted it. Another guy would tell her he loved her. He growled softly, but she either didn't notice or ignored it. Approaching him as she'd done so many times before, she leaned over and brushed her lips against the top of his forehead. "Goodbye."
The word had never held so much finality. "See ya." He mumbled, blithely unaware of what his words implied by his own definition.
She left.
And there she was now, standing in the middle of the cafeteria and looking for a seat with her new boyfriend. Inuyasha was shocked at the animosity he felt for the guy. He kept his cool though, outwardly unaware when they sat at the table next to him and Kikyo.
Bits of their conversation flew overhead and he struggled to ignore the light banter they shared. It wasn't until he heard three words whispered so quietly he almost missed them that he completely lost his cool. Before he knew what he was doing, he stood up and punched the guy as hard as he could.
Then his mind caught up with his body. "Sorry." He said shortly, watching the guy struggle to stand in disgust. "I thought you were someone else." Unable to even glance at Kagome, he turned and strode out of the cafeteria.
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Over a week had passed, and nothing bothered him more then Kagome and Hojo's relationship. After that embarrassing display in the cafeteria he'd managed to keep his emotions in check, only daring to look at her when he knew she was alone.
It was funny how much losing her affect him. He really hadn't known he had anything to lose. She was just there. She came when he called and vice versa. It wasn't anything he thought about, it was just the way things were. But now that she was gone he found himself missing the way she snuggled up next to him. He missed the way she laughed when he brushed lightly against the nape of her throat. He missed her need to be loved.
He missed her.
He clenched his cell phone tightly, twisting it in his grip and letting it become slick with his sweat. The last number dialed flashed on the screen where he'd left it, and he tried to look anywhere but there. The surroundings hurt bad enough, filled with memories he hadn't thought he'd treasured. But still, it was easier to look at the abandoned building then at the name flashing on the screen.
What if she didn't come?
When the car pulled up, his heart stopped. It didn't start beating again until he saw her step out of the car, and then it was racing so fast he was afraid it would burst. She stepped towards him, hesitantly.
He rose from the steps he'd been waiting on and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Hey."
"Hey." Her voice was calmer then his, though neither betrayed any nervousness.
"You came." He was stating the obvious, but couldn't help himself. She didn't seem surprised he mentioned it.
"Yeah." She paused. "What do you need?"
His mind raced with possible answers, but he discarded them all. This time he didn't hesitate to say the words. She had needed to hear them but now he needed to say them. "I love you."
The words were rushed, awkward, but held so much more meaning with the genuine emotion filling them. For the first time he'd looked her in the eye while saying them.
"You don't mean it." She was trying to be calm, as always, but this time she wasn't completely succeeding. Her lower lip trembled as she struggled to maintain eye contact with him.
"Yeah I do." He said softly, stepping towards her. She didn't back away. "I love you and I need you and I'm not sorry I punched that guy. He deserved it." His voice was growing stronger with every word. "No one can love you but me."
"No one loves me." Her voice shook just a bit. He started to say something but stopped short, realizing with rare insight that she might need to have her say before she'd really listen to him. "It's nice to hear but I know better than to believe it. My parents love my grades. My brother loves an older sister he can look up to. My friends love a mirage. Hojo loves a fake. And you?" She looked at him with an emotion akin to desperation in her eyes. "You love a girl with no strings attached."
He'd watched her steadily throughout her entire tirade. "I love you." He repeated, making sure his words penetrated. "And I'm asking you to attach some strings. I don't want anyone else."
She stared at him, mouth slightly agape. "You can't mean it." She whispered, as if convincing herself. "I'm not worth it. You'd be sacrificing so much, all those girls, and Kikyo."
He stepped forward again, closing the distance between them. "I'm not repeating myself." He said, letting his actions speak for themselves. She couldn't have replied if she'd wanted to. He was keeping her mouth too busy.
A moment later, she pulled away, and said the words that he needed to hear. "I love you too Inuyasha."
And this time, both of them meant it.
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What do you think? I know they didn't fall in love the traditional way I have ppl falling in love (fighting, making fun of each other, hating each other etc) but I really wanted to write this. Of course, usually when you're looking for love in the wrong places, you don't find it, but I decided to take pity on poor Kagome. Plus I mean I/K hello!
PLEASE let me know what you think. Since this is so different from what I usually do I really want to know what you think! At the very least, I hope you haven't vowed to avoid all fics I write from now on!
Rogue Pryde.