The Starr Chronicles
Disclaimer: "Bonjourrrrrrrr, ye cheese eatin' surrender monkeys!" - Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons
Chapter 113: A Quiet Day and a Date: Part 6!
Los Angeles, California
"I'll join you in a minute, Eddie." Ace Starr explained to the silver-dressed keyboardist. "I got me a date."
"Yeah, sure." Eddie Ulrich nodded. "But I would like to know, Aceman. Where did you find a hottie like that?"
"I'm the Ace of Hearts." Ace smirked. "She found me." He then laughed. "Now get outta here! She wants to talk to me."
"Alright, alright!" Eddie laughed as he walked away, leaving Ace to walk to the table, where one Monet St. Croix once sat. (1)
"Well, Monet..." Ace chuckled as he took a seat. "I see that you really don't take no for an answer."
"Who said this was a recruitment attempt?" The dark-haired young woman chuckled. "I just wanted to see you."
"Why's that?" Ace chuckled. "No offense, but I don't see you as much of a fan of that rock 'n' roll music."
"Not really..." The Monaco-born mutant girl admitted. "But I heard you were an incredible singer. And I saw that you are."
"I've been doing it since I was three." Ace shrugged. "So, what have you been up to...?" The feral mutant noticed out of the corner of his eye, a certain eyepatch-wearing man standing near the window. The man gave a slight nod to Ace. Luckily for the feral, Monet didn't notice.
"Oh, the usual stuff." She answered. "I had come to Los Angeles because I really do enjoy the beaches."
"I love the beaches, too." Ace chuckled. Ever since the young feral first noticed girls, he would occasionally spend time at the beaches, checking out the pretty girls.
"I wouldn't mind the two of us walking a beach together." Monet smirked, rubbing Ace's hand.
"That sounds like a date to me." Ace smirked back. I feel like James Bond right now. Or Derek Flint. I've always liked those Sixties spy movies...
Bayville Mall, earlier that day
"Uh..." Fred Dukes blinked. "Run that by me again?"
"It's simple, yo." Todd Tolensky explained. "You go up to the guy and start making a fuss."
"You mean, like, distract him?" Fred scratched his head. He and Toad were in the mall, and eying a hot dog cart.
"Yeah." Todd nodded.
"...what should I do?" Fred wondered. Todd shrugged.
"I dunno, yo. Do a dance, sing a song, just distract the fool!"
"I think I got something." Fred walked up to the hod dog cart guy.
"Hey kid." The man smiled.
"..." Fred blinked.
"Uh..." The hot dog cart guy blinked. "You...want a hot dog?"
"..."
"...You want a soda?"
"..."
"...You want some polish sausage?"
"Oh, that sounds good? Can I have it with relish? Oh, and a Diet Coke?" Fred asked.
"Oh, for the love of..." Todd groaned.
"Sure." The hot dog guy pulled out Polish sausage and put it in a bun with some relish. He then gave the food to the large blond-mohawked mutant.
"Hey, thanks." Fred paid the guy and enjoyed his lunch.
"Oh, for the love of flies..." Todd groaned again.
"Hey that was good." Fred grinned. "Oh, I just remembered! I had to do something!" He started marching up and down. "ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!"
"Thank you, Al Pacino." Todd shook his head.
"Uh, pal? What're you doing?" The hot dog cart guy blinked.
"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" Fred continued to chant as he marched up and down.
"Kid, what're you doing?"
"Ah, well." The amphibious young mutant shrugged. "This distraction is as good as any other." Deciding to not look a gift horse in the mouth, Todd slowly crept towards the cart.
"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" A crowd started to gather around the large mutant.
"Are you protesting something, kid?" The hot dog cart guy started scratching his head.
"ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!" As Fred chanted, Todd slowly crept up to the cart.
"I guess you saw that movie, huh?" The hot dog cart guy chuckled. The crowd started to mumble and blink in confusion.
"What is he doing?" One woman blinked.
"Maybe he's trying to raise money to get his boyfriend a sex change." A man joked. (2)
"Hey wait, what'd you say?!" Fred glared. "I don't swing that way. I'm distracting the hot dog guy."
"Distracting me?" The hot dog cart guy blinked.
NOW! Todd screamed at himself mentally. The young amphibious mutant raced in and grabbed the cart.
"GO GO GO!" Todd yelled. "FREE HOT DOGS, WHOOOO!"
"Hey, wait!" The hot dog cart guy yelled.
"So long, sucka!" Todd whooped, racing the hot dog cart away. "Let's go, Fred!"
"Alright!" Fred whooped, running from the scene. "Free hot dogs!"
"Those sons of-!" The hot dog cart guy angrily threw down his hat and gave chase. "You punks! Give me that cart, you sons of-!"
"BWAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
A restaurant in Bayville
Lance Alvers was feeling pretty good as he walked into the men's room. He walked up to the sink to wash his hands and face. While the door was open, a female voice yelling could be heard from outside.
"Dum da dee..." Lance sang to himself. A thin-haired businessman who was washing his hands in the sink next to Lance's was laughing. He looked over at the young brown-haired mutant.
"You look happy." The businessman commented.
"Yeah." Lance chuckled. "I am in a great mood."
"Why's that, if I may ask?" The businessman enquired. "On a date with your dream girl?"
"Oh yeah." Lance snickered. "I am."
"How's it going?"
"Going good. Except for a hairy idiot who tried to follow us." Lance answered.
"Wow. That must stink." The businessman blinked.
"Yeah, it was thanks to him I got this." Lance pointed at his neck brace. "I'm just grateful I didn't end up in a wheelchair. The big dumb hairball tried to follow me and my girlfriend. She caught him. And the screaming from out there?"
"Yeah?"
"...She's giving him an earful." Lance smirked.
"WAITER!" Logan was heard yelling from outside. "MORE ALCOHOL!"
"What was his deal? Couldn't be her ex, he seems far too old." The businessman shook his head.
"He's her teacher." Lance explained. "He teaches at the Xavier place."
"Oh, that school for gifted kids?" The businessman realized.
"Yeah, they're gifted alright." Lance grumbled.
"I heard that weird stuff goes down in that place." The businessman remembered. "I've even heard that there's some blue demon wandering the halls." Lance held in the snicker he had.
"Must be a ghost story or something." The geokinetic snickered. "I gotta go."
"Alright, you have fun on your date. Oh, and here's some advice, always remember to tell them you had a great time, no matter how bad it went." The businessman advised.
"Yeah, thanks." Lance shrugged as he left. He emerged to find Kitty still yelling at Logan.
"Are you listening to me?!" Kitty screeched. "Mr. Logan, are you listening to me?! I am so going to tell the Professor about you! I'm sure he would not be very happy to hear that one of his teachers is bothering one of his students on a night out!"
"Ugh..." Logan groaned, swigging a champagne bottle. He then realized it was empty. "Waiter! More champagne!"
"Sir, you can really hold your liquor, can't you?" The waiter remarked as he handed Logan another bottle of champagne.
"Unfortunately." The feral mutant grumbled.
"Man, kid." A customer snickered as he looked at Lance. "I am glad I ain't with her." Lance sighed.
"Come on, Pretty Kitty, let's go home."
Well, well, well! Looks like this disaster of a date is over! What insanity will happen next? What is Ace Starr up to? Will Lance and Kitty go out again? Will Logan ever recover from the verbal thrashing? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
(1) – See Chapters 83 and 84 for more on this storyline.
(2) – The plot of the movie Dog Day Afternoon, starring Al Pacino. The "ATTICA" chant is a classic moment from that movie.