Summary: The "Princess Diaries 2" movie was missing a few important things, such as a certain Michael Moscovitz. What if he were still around? Mia looks for a spouse, and Michael helps.
Disclaimer: This story is based on the "Princess Diaries" book series by Meg Cabot and the "Princess Diaries" movies from Disney.
Author's Note: I enjoyed parts of "Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement", but, come on, how are we supposed to believe that Mia would fall in love with (::censored::) the person she ended up with in the movie? I wrote this story to make myself feel better after watching the movie. As a warning, I'm about twice as old as the movie's target audience so please note the PG-13 rating. Too much wholesomeness is not good for me.
I tried to make this as spoiler-free as possible for the people in the world who have not seen the movie yet. But, um, the movie is very predictable, so if you saw the trailer you already can figure out about 85% of the rest of the movie. I apologize to anyone who thinks this is not as spoiler-lite as it could be. Oh, and I apologize to anyone who does not loathe the character Nicholas as much as I do. I'm not very nice to him. He's so... not Michael, and I cannot forgive him for that. (Plus I didn't like the actor's hair.)
So this is just a silly, wicked little story I've written to insert my favorite parts of the books into the basic movie plotline. Don't take it seriously. It's all just for fun. And it's complete!
Something Missing: What the movie lacked.
Missing Element #1: Sex.
Her Royal Highness Amelia Thermopolis Renaldo, Princess of Genovia, wore her graduation cap and gown, and nothing underneath. Michael was more appropriately attired for the time and place: he was in a pair of silk blue boxer shorts.
"You can't find the hat sexy," Mia said.
Michael disagreed, and let her know by kissing her. The tassel from the graduation cap fell forward, taking away his attention for a moment from the mostly undressed woman in front of him. Maybe Mia was right. The hat had to go. He removed it from her head and tossed it towards her closet. He could now kiss her without hindrance, and he did so.
It was eleven in the evening on the night before Mia left for Genovia, and they were alone in Mia's bedroom. No more friends saying good-bye, no more well-wishing relatives or world leaders, no more last-minute arrangements to be made, no more bodyguards, no more reporters. It was the two of them for the last time for a while.
He stopped kissing her for long enough to position her more comfortably on his lap. He said, "I hope you got lots of pictures from graduation. The cap was very sexy. Almost as sexy as this gown you have on."
"You're crazy. I look like I'm wearing a sheet. You can even tell that I'm female."
"We'll just have to fix that." He leaned over and unbuttoned the top buttons, one by one exposing more of her flesh. She did not try to stop him. The sooner she stopped modeling her graduation attire, the sooner they could get onto more ... interesting activities.
"I've known you for most of my life, and you never mentioned you got turned on by college graduations."
"Only certain graduates. Do you know what's sexier than you in that robe?"
"Me in the cap and the gown?"
He lifted her up so he could remove the black garment from her, leaving her completely naked and sitting on his lap.
"You without the cap and gown."
Mia knew that she could never actually marry Michael and make him her Prince Consort. He was not interested in the position, even if she wanted to offer it to him. But she did like him much more than she liked any other man she had met in college, and he had not found any woman he liked more than Mia. They still lived close to each other in New York City, so they could have friendly visits that seemed to often end up with them in bed together. They were young, unattached, and still very attracted to each other. Why shouldn't they have sex if they both wanted it and if they both knew not to take it seriously?
They had had years to become familiar with each other's bodies. Mia knew all of Michael's most sensitive places, and he knew dozens of ways to transform her from a proper princess into a squirming, wanton bundle of hormones. She had no idea how he did it, but in one minute she was showing off her graduation costume, and then the next she was rolling onto the bed, with his body leaning against her, his skin against her skin, his hands moving up and down her bare back.
She kissed his shoulder and thought about how much she would miss this physical intimacy. Michael was the only man she had ever slept with. He was the only man to desire her and to be desired by her. She knew there would eventually be other men in her life, but who knew how long it would take to find someone who suited her as well as Michael did. It could take years to find someone new. Very long, very celibate years...
"You're coming to visit soon, right?" she asked.
"You already bought me the plane tickets. Remember?"
"I can't be here to take you to the airport, though. Don't make me send Genovia's ambassador to America after you. She has diplomatic immunity, and I'll see that she is armed with a stun gun."
"If this is how you treat your friends, I'd hate to see how you treat your husband. If you ever do get one."
"Oh, be quiet. I'll eventually find someone who actually wants to rule a peaceful, beautiful, and prosperous country with me. Somewhere in the world there's a man like that waiting for me."
"Until then, you'll just have to put up with me."
There were worst fates than having to put up with Michael Moscovitz in her bed. She would enjoy it for one last time before she left behind her life in America and became the world leader she had been prepared to be.
Missing Element #2: Grandmère as a manipulative b----h.
Mia immediately knew that her grandmother had some evil plan. There could be no other explanation for why Princess Clarisse said nothing about the clothes Mia had worn on her trip from New York to Genovia on the Renaldo family's private jet. Mia had intended to change into something boring and regal before she deplaned, but there had been a marching band outside and reporters and photographers. She did not want to keep all the people there waiting. That would be rude.
Her grandmother was always rude. She should have complained that Mia's flight was late, and she should have definitely said something mean about Mia wearing a T-shirt and jeans, looking like any other young American traveling to Europe. Instead, Princess Clarisse smiled and said, "Welcome to Genovia." Either Grandmère had undergone a massive personality change, or she was up to something.
The first day at the palace was a rush of introductions and re-introductions to palace staff, and then an intimate family dinner with a few dozen of Mia's closest Renaldo relatives. She had forgotten that she had so many second-cousins. Grandmère remained perfectly pleasant and not at all critical of what Mia said or did, not even when Mia dropped her knife on the floor or when she knocked over her aunt's wine glass.
"I'm so, so sorry," Mia had said. "I'm so clumsy sometimes."
"Nonsense," Grandmère said. "You are not clumsy. You are young and inexperienced. What you need is an extra pair of eyes to look after you."
"Another lady's maid?"
"A husband. I was married when I was eighteen years old."
"Well, that's really great."
Mia was very happy that the conversation topic changed to more neutral, less weird topics. Mia was too young to get married, though perhaps she could use a more competent, less giggly lady's maid.
The highlight of the next day was a ball held in honor of Mia's recent 21st birthday. She had already properly celebrated her birthday back in New York with her friends from college and with Lily and Michael, and then with Michael again. He knew a lot about how to make a woman feel extra special.
The ball in Genovia may not be the same type of fun as spending an entire night alone with Michael Moscovitz, but it was still kind of fun. All the important Genovians were there, most of whom Mia had already met during her other visits to Genovia over the years. Whenever Mia couldn't remember whether a woman was a member of Parliament or the wife of a Parliament member, she could be assured of a speedy rescue by another young man wanting to dance with her. Genovians were very enthusiastic dancers.
Michael was a good dancer, too, though Mia had never shared a waltz with him when they went out to clubs together. He worked during the day at different computer consulting jobs, and in the night he played with his band. He had been in at least a half dozen different bands over the years, and he sometimes went out to play gigs at local bars and clubs. Anyone with his sense of rhythm and with his body could dance well. He always looked very, very good dancing.
The Genovians were not nearly as cool as Michael was. Mia hardly remembered the name of the person she was dancing with – Nicholas? Did he tell her his last name? Did it matter? – while she thought more of her good friend Michael. She wished he was there. She would much rather be in his arms than be manhandled by some bland, preppy guy with bad hair.
Grandmère kept on reappearing to tell Mia what a wonderful job she was doing and how everyone, especially the men she danced with, liked her so much. It was very creepy. Mia liked getting the presents and she liked testing her memory to assign names with the correct person, but she was glad when the music ended and she could retire to her royal bedchamber. Alone. She checked her calendar for the millionth time to see how many more days it would be until Michael and Lilly came.
Missing Element #3: Mia's Dad
(Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, so they say he was dead in the first movie. I like him, so he's alive in my story.)
"Mia, you've met Viscount Mabrey, haven't you?" Mia's dad asked during breakfast the next day.
"Big guy, evil beard, beady eyes, kind of looks like an overgrown dwarf. Yes, I've met him."
"He has a nephew."
"Another big dwarf?"
"No, but he does have very bad hair. The nephew is the next in line for the throne of Genovia, after you. Apparently he is a closer relation than Sebastiano. I don't think Sebastiano's mother will ever recover from the news."
"So I should make certain that Viscount Mabrey and his bad-haired nephew don't kill me off before I have kids?"
"Just be aware that they are around and that Lord Mabrey is up to something."
Parliament was in session that day, and both Mia's grandmother and her father were attending. Mia had asked to come, but Grandmère had insisted very emphatically that Mia not go. Parliament would be continuing a very important debate that had begun a few days before. Prince Phillipe agreed that it would be inappropriate for Mia to be present. Of course that made Mia madly curious about what was being discussed without her.
She conveniently found a way to satisfy that curiosity. Grandmère's head of security Joseph let Mia look around the security room, with all the monitors showing different parts of the palace. When Joseph was out of the room, Mia turned on the sound for the Parliament chamber.
Lord Mabrey was speaking. Mia never liked him, even before her father had warned her about him, mainly because he very obviously did not like her. If he wanted to be her enemy, she would let him.
He said, "Any sort of amendment or alteration to the law is impossible at this late date. The law is in effect now, and it must be obeyed."
Mia knew all about the Genovian governmental process, and had she been allowed to attend the session, she would have been glad to explain to the other members of Parliament the proper way to propose change to the Genovian laws. The change can not be suggested on the floor of Parliament until the law in question had been examined in depth by an approved Parliamentary subcommittee.
Prince Phillipe sounded uneasy over the security camera. The video image was too small for Mia to be able to see her father's facial expressions while he spoke. "You are within your rights to ask for the law to be enforced, Lord Mabrey, but these are very special circumstances. As Princess Clarisse so rightly pointed out, the laws regarding the female heirs to the throne have not been enforced for nearly two hundred."
Female heirs to the throne? They were talking about Mia!
Her grandmother stood up and said, "I am sorry to say that Lord Mabrey is right. It would be highly irregular if we ignored our Genovian constitution and changed the laws at present. But it does place my granddaughter in a very uncomfortable position. According to our laws, she loses her claim to the throne if she is unmarried after her twenty-first birthday, which was nearly a month ago. Had we known that Lord Mabrey would bring forward this motion to enforce the law, Princess Amelia may have been able to make arrangements."
Married? Had Mia already lost her title because of some law that no one knew existed? Lord Mabrey had better not be expecting any invitations to her future birthday balls if he did take her principality away from her. The Genovian people would never accept his nephew as their ruler, especially if his hair was as bad as Prince Phillipe implied.
Mia's dad was not as understanding about the situation as Grandmère was. He snapped, "If I'd known this law existed, I would have seen it repealed years ago. If my daughter does not want to be married now, then she can not be my heir for a few years. It won't take more than a year to change that very stupid law, now that Lord Mabrey has drawn our attention to it, and I do not plan on dying any time soon."
There were lots of murmurs from the other Parliament members, but before Mia could hear more, Joseph came back and immediately turned off the sound.
"Hey! They were discussing my future there!" Mia protested.
"If your father and grandmother wanted you to hear it, they would have taken you with them," Joseph said. He had been working for the Renaldo family for so long that he did not even pretend to go out of his way to be polite to Mia. He was more her grandmother's friend than employee, so he probably already knew everything about whatever awful thing her grandmother had planned for her.
Grandmère wouldn't really make her get married, would she? Prince Phillipe wouldn't let Grandmère get away with it.
Missing Element #4: Prince René!
(Author's Note: He's my favorite side character from the book, so of course he has to make an appearance.)
If Parliament decided that the stupid, old, chauvinistic law about the female heirs getting married needed to be obeyed, Mia would make certain everyone knew just how angry she was that this law existed and that Lord Mabrey had had the nerve to bring it to light just in time for her twenty-first birthday.
Mia did not expect that her grandmother would come into the parlor for tea and cheerfully announce the news: "If you don't get married in the next thirty days, you lose your claim to the throne. It is very uncommon for a Prince to leave his title to a female heir, so we all forgot about this old Genovian law. But you have no need to worry, Amelia. I will help you."
Grandmère's cheerfulness was very disconcerting. It was even worse than Grandmère's tact and civility. If she kept this up, she'd start baking cakes and singing songs and being a jolly, caring, normal grandmother. Then the Renaldo family would have to send her off to some mental institution because they would have all the proof they needed that Princess Clarisse was not right in the head.
Mia kept her concerns about her grandmother's mental health to herself, and instead focused on the melodrama at hand. "You'll help me? You mean I have to change the law myself? What about Dad? He runs Parliament."
Grandmère stopped smiling so brightly. She seemed actually surprised that Mia would interpret her offer of help in that way. "Of course the law must be changed, but that does not change the fact that you must marry."
"No I don't. Dad didn't."
The more familiar haughty Grandmère-glare returned briefly at this first sign of resistance to Grandmère's plans. She said, "Your position is very different from his. You need the strength and guidance that a man would bring. You need someone intelligent, charismatic, handsome, charming--"
The doors opened and Mia's crazy distant cousin Prince René came in. He still had rooms in the Genovian palace, but he spent most of his time living in Paris and pretending to work in the financial industry while partying as much as he could and living as frivolous a life as possible on his family's money. Mia liked having him around Genovia when she visited. He could always distract everyone from Mia's great screw-ups and minor disasters with his own more flamboyant screw-ups and his major disasters.
René sat down at the table set up for tea, and said, "So why did you send for me, Clarisse? Something about my charming cousin here, isn't it?" He carefully selected the best of the cucumber sandwiches and let Mia pour him some tea.
"Yes. Mia is to be married by the end of the month," Grandmère said, as if it were the most normal, sane occurrence in the world.
"Congratulations. Who's the victim— I mean, the groom? Anyone I know?"
Mia shrugged. "I don't know who I'm marrying. Grandmère says I should, law or not."
René nodded and said, "I suppose I should have expected something like this. So is this it, Clarisse? You've kept me around for the last twenty years for something like this." He accepted his fate with complete calmness, though perhaps he put a bit too much butter on his crumpet.
It took Mia a few seconds to interpret Ren's remarks and the smile on her grandmother's face. "Oh my god, Grandmère, you can't mean René. I can't marry René. Ewww. No offense, René."
René did his best to continue his serene acceptance for fate, but he had to laugh at Mia scrunching up her face in disgust at the idea of marrying him, a handsome, rich, deposed Italian prince. "If it helps any, I can think of a few hundred women I'd rather marry than you, Mia. You're really boring."
Grandmère very unhelpfully said, "Please look at this like an adult, Amelia. There is no provision in the law that says you have to be in love with the man you marry. Of course, you must remember that divorce is impossible within the Genovian royal family. It was expressly forbidden by a pope many years ago. I doubt that your divorce would really cause the eternal damnation of all souls who were ever born in Genovia, like the pope said would happen, but you may not want to risk it."
"So you mean I'd have to stay married to René forever?"
"You are friends," Grandmère said. Neither Mia nor René could disagree there. They had gotten used to each other's company over the years, even if they had nothing in common with each other besides some shared great-great-great aunts. Grandmère interpreted their silence as enthusiastic agreement. She continued, "The best foundation of marriage in this situation is friendship. Love changes. Passions die. Friendships endure. You must find a life companion who you get along with. That is to say, a very good friend."
Mia immediately thought of Michael, then tried to delete that thought from her head. He would never forgive her if she made him give up everything going on in his life so he could be her prince consort. He had told her years ago that he liked her a whole lot, but he did not want to dedicate his entire life to helping govern a country. Politics never interested him.
René had been raised in Genovia. He apparently was already reconciled to the idea of a loveless arranged marriage with Mia. He did not run away screaming at the idea of being her official Prince Consort. He would never be attracted to Mia, much less ever love her. He'd get bored of being her husband within a week, and then he'd run off to lots of glamorous parties and sleep with tons of beautiful women. They would still have to have children together to preserve the royal blood line and save Genovia from being ruled by Viscount Mabrey's extended family. Having children with René? Sex with René? Gross, gross, gross.
"Dad will get the law changed, so I don't need to get married," Mia said. "Take me out of the line of succession now, and put me back when the law's changed."
Grandmère completely dropped the benevolent grandmother act and scowled at her granddaughter. "Your father has already gone through extensive cancer treatments once in his life. He is not a completely well man. If he did not know that you were taken care of, and then if something happened to him, he would suffer enormously."
"How about a long-term engagement?" René suggested. "Would that be good enough for whatever law you're trying to obey?"
"No, the law says marriage," Grandmère said. "Thanks to the efforts of Phillipe and me, we got Amelia a one-month extension before she gets removed from the line of succession."
If they were already going against the law and letting Mia have one extra month beyond the legal deadline, why not three months? Or one year? Had Mia been allowed to go to Parliament earlier, she would have said something.
René said, "Sorry, Mia, but it looks like you're trapped in all of this. I will do my duty if you ask me to." He did not try to hide his reluctance, but he was sympathetic, and Mia knew that he really would marry her if she asked. What more can a girl ask for than an arranged marriage with a slutty distant relative?
Mia said, "I'll try not to get that desperate. Who knows? Maybe the love of my life will turn up at my doorstep sometime during the next thirty days. Grandmère has already said that she'll help."
"I will, too," René said. In other words, he didn't trust Princess Clarisse to give the sort of assistance Mia would require to find a husband in a month, and he knew the consequences if Mia failed to find someone better than he was. He had excellent motivation to want to help. Mia was glad to have him on her side.
She was a little less glad when he next asked, "What about your old boyfriend? Michael Moscow or something like that. Whatever happened to him? Did you have any other boyfriends in America?"
"Michael is just a friend now," Mia said. "In fact, he's visiting in a few days."
René couldn't look more delighted at that news. "Perhaps he'll do."
Grandmère was not listening to that part of the conversation. She was making plans with her staff to get the names and contact information of all the most eligible, titled bachelors so the search for Mia's husband could begin in earnest.
Missing Element #5: Michael.
Grandmère and the palace staff were distracted by the arrival of Viscount Mabrey and his nephew Nicholas. Those two very dull villains were staying at the palace for no good reason, especially when you consider that they had their own home in Genovia, and the country really was not very large. When Mia asked Joseph about the reason for the visit, he had only said something about it being part of Princess Clarisse's very clever, devious plan. And he muttered something about sabotaging the plumbing in the Lord Mabrey's chateau and bribing the plumbers to take their time repairing it.
Mia did not care about the evil, giant dwarf Count or the prince wannabee. She was not even at the palace when they arrived. She had much better things to do, such as go to the airport to meet her guests Lilly and Michael Moscovitz.
Lilly enthusiastically abused her position as the "best friend of the Princess of Genovia" by ordering Mia's driver to carry her luggage. Apparently Lilly's radical left-wing, socialist tendencies did not prevent her from enjoying the benefits of Genovia's privileged aristocratic class. Lilly was a graduate student at Berkeley, which meant that she could pretend to work on her thesis while hitting on all the cute, idealistic hippies on campus. Lilly always had a thing for hot, left-wing guys who wear Birkenstocks and attend peace demonstrations.
Michael was ... Michael. Mia had had an unexpected urge to kiss him when she first saw him in the airport, but she dismissed that as a mere hormonal reaction to his damnably hot body. It was only natural that her thoughts immediately went right into the gutter the moment she saw her old friend again.
Michael complimented Mia on the nice weather in her country, even though Mia humbly admitted that the weather did not always obey the royal decrees of the Renaldo family. He then kissed her on the cheek and tried to tip the driver who was carrying all of Lilly's luggage, in spite of Lilly's insistence that she was entitled to such treatment as the best friend of the princess of Genovia and, therefore, no tips were necessary.
On the way to the palace, Mia had to tell her friends about the latest complication in her life. "Grandmère is trying to arrange a marriage for me so I don't lose my claim to the throne of Genovia. If I don't get married in the next thirty days, Genovia may end up being ruled by a boring prat with bad hair."
"Then you'd be just a normal girl, with a very rich family and pretty eyes?" Michael asked. He sounded disturbingly excited by the idea of Mia without her title. That would certainly simplify the very weird pseudo-relationship between Mia and him. Mia made a mental note not to ask Michael to help her choose a husband.
"Don't be stupid, Michael," Lilly said with her usual lack of compassion and understanding for her brother's weakly concealed desires. "If Mia loses her title, she'll be forever known as the loser who lost the perfect life as a princess of a cool country because she couldn't find any guy willing to marry her. That would suck."
"Yes." Mia nodded, and she thought more about life as a mere Ms. Thermopolis. What would her life be without having to worry about being the princess of Genovia? Thanks to Grandmère's princess lessons, she had the proper manners to go anywhere in the world without embarrassing herself or starting major world wars due to cultural misunderstandings. What sort of jobs are most suited for ex-princesses? And would they be centered in New York, so Mia could still be around Michael?
Wait, why should Mia even think about giving up her title? She absolutely loved being a princess. She got to live in a palace, and she had her own scepter and a few really cute tiaras. No man was going to prevent her from enjoying all the privileges and responsibilities of being a minor European monarch. And no evil Viscounts were going to take her crown away from her.
Grandmère was not very enthusiastic to see the young Moscovitzes. She tried to convince Lilly that she should dye her hair blonde, to which crazy suggestion Lilly had grimaced and said, "Over my dead body". Grandmère promised to speak to the morticians before Lilly's funeral. She then asked Michael whether he had somewhere better to be, like a job or maybe a long tour with whichever band he was in at present.
"I'm on vacation for the week," he said to Grandmère's great disappointment.
Lilly said, "I have to get back to Berkeley next week to work on my thesis. Otherwise I'd stay around Genovia and see who Mia marries at the end of the month."
"So Mia told you about her marriage?" Grandmère looked directly at Michael when she said that, daring him to say anything about his ex-girlfriend's future marital status.
Michael said, "Yes. She didn't tell us who her husband will be, though."
"That detail will be settled very soon," Grandmère said. "If you two insist on staying in the palace, you may even help in the selection process."
"What do you mean 'selection process'?" Mia asked. "I thought I'd give them a tour around the country, maybe go off on daytrips into France and Italy..."
Everyone was horrified by the idea. "You only have thirty days to find someone to marry, and you want to show us Genovia's beach?" Lilly asked. "You're crazy. Mrs. Renaldo, we'd love to help out. Right, Michael?"
"Right. Of course. I can't wait."
Michael's lack of enthusiasm for the project was fully justified. Instead of being about to sneak around in the gardens and halls of the palace to meet Mia secretly for a quick kiss, Michael had to sit down with Mia, Lilly, Grandmère, and a few of Grandmère's most trusted underlings to find someone who would not be too awful for Mia to marry. When everyone else was delighted to find an innocuous Brit named Andrew, whose greatest virtue was his age relative to Mia's, even Michael had agreed that Andrew would be an excellent choice.
Actually Michael had ceased to pay attention to the 'Selection Process' ever since Mia had slipped him a note giving him directions on how to sneak into her royal bedchamber later that night.
Missing Element #6: More (implied) sex.
Mia's instructions for how not to get caught in the palace corridors turned out to be not as foolproof as the princess had promised. When Michael returned to his own rooms early the next morning, he found that three people were already in his room waiting for him: Prince René, the badly-haired house guest Nicholas, and the head of Genovian security Joseph. All three men were fully dressed in spite of it being still the insanely early hour of nine o'clock in the morning, and they looked delighted, confused, and annoyed to see him come in. That is to say, René was delighted, Nicholas was confused, and Joseph checked that his guns were primed and loaded.
"You've been caught!" Prince René declared triumphantly.
Nicholas looked at Michael's attire, which consisted of a bathrobe and a pair of boxer shorts, and said to René, "OK, maybe you were right about him sneaking out. But how do we know he was with her?"
Michael stood awkwardly by the door and wondered whether it would be rude for him to disappear and take a shower before the interrogation went any further. He knew his hair was a mess, and he still was not fully awake yet.
"Who let you into my rooms?" he now thought to ask. "Isn't this trespassing?"
Joseph shook his head no. "It is part of my responsibility as the head of Genovian security to see that the princess is safe. There are cameras placed outside her bedroom door. Very, very good cameras."
Well, that settled it. Michael was screwed. He sat down on the edge of his un-slept-in bed and waited to hear what the punishment was in Genovia for sleeping with the heir to the throne.
"Do you have pictures?" Nicholas asked. "I still don't see why anyone would think that the princess would be so unprincipled as to—"
"You don't need to find pictures. Yes, I was with Mia. We're good friends. It's impossible to have a decent conversation in this place without a big audience, so I went to her rooms last night. To talk." Maybe Michael's lie would be more credible if he had gone to her room wearing more clothing.
"Are you going to marry her?" Joseph asked, as sternly as any over-protective father.
"Oh, no, please no, you can't make me!" Michael hadn't thought of that. "I live in New York. I have my own life. I can't marry Mia. She doesn't want to marry me, either. It's not like she's pregnant or anything."
René smiled more broadly. Joseph looked more annoyed. Nicholas was more confused. He said, "Why should she be pregnant? You two are just friends, and you only talked." Somehow he seemed to believe that two attractive young people could really just 'talk' all night when they spend many hours alone together in their pajamas. No one could be that wholesome and naïve outside, say, a Disney movie.
(Author's note: OK, OK, I'll stop going on about how much I hated the Nicholas subplot. I will continue to make fun of Chris Pine's hair, though.)
René ignored boring Nicholas, and turned to Michael. "You say you won't marry Mia?"
"No. Never," Michael said quickly. He'd be able to speak more expansively on all the reasons why he did not want to be the Genovian prince consort if he could take a shower and put on pants, but his guests did not seem very eager to leave him alone.
René shrugged and said, "Well, I guess we'll have to meet Andrew Jacoby after all."
Missing Element #7: A Love Interest for Lilly
(Author's Note: Be prepared for some major Lilly abuse. I like the girl, really, but I still have not forgiven her for her treatment of Boris in the 5th book or for having blond highlights in the movie.)
Andrew Jacoby may at first glance appear to be the world's biggest prep, and his hair may have seemed unnaturally neat, but he was still the cutest non-Michael person that Mia had seen since she had come to Genovia. Lilly, who had been at Mia's side when Andrew first was introduced, declared that Andrew was the hottest thing she had ever seen, and proceeded to drool over him the entire time he visited.
"I bet his closet is filled with blazers," Lilly said in a reverent whisper. "Do you think he has a yacht? I bet he does. And a Swiss chateau near good skiing. I bet he's a great tennis player. Can you imagine him in tiny white shorts? I have to ask him to help me improve my serve."
Lilly ran off to harass Andrew, and Mia could only wonder whether inviting Lilly to Genovia had been a good idea. Lilly had been such a good radical leftist before she came here. At this rate, she'd even let Grandmère convince her to dye her hair blonde while they had some palace servants mix them some sidecars after breakfast.
Since Mia had to decide whether she wanted to actually marry Andrew, she could not let Lilly spend the entire time flirting with him. She interrupted one of Lilly's favorite off-color stories, and said, "So, Andrew, what do you think about Genovia?"
He looked around, and said, "I think it's lovely. Lovely weather. You are doing an excellent job leading the country, Amelia." So that answered one question. He didn't know a thing about Genovia beyond that he would get to help rule it if he married Mia.
"There are two traffic lights in Genovia these days," Lilly said. "All thanks to Mia. Isn't that great, Andrew? I love traffic lights."
Lilly was not helping make Mia look good. Or maybe Lilly was intentionally making Mia look silly so she could have a better chance at counting the blazers in Andrew Jacoby's closet herself.
"Do you ... play tennis?" Mia asked.
"Yes. How did you know?"
Lilly's eyes widened at that revelation. She was practically jumping up and down to ask about the tiny white tennis shorts. Best leave the answer to that question to their imaginations.
"Lucky guess." There was a tense silence. Mia should be making more small talk, getting to know him better and all that. "How about a boat? Do you have one?"
"Well, yes, I have a yacht. I also have a scull to go out by myself. I was on my university's crew team."
He might have just announced that he was vegan and a member of the Green Party, to have earned the look of admiration and blind devotion that that remark earned him from Lilly. The crew team! He was so wonderfully wrong for Lilly Moscovitz that she couldn't resist him.
"No wonder you have such strong arms," Lilly said. "That is, they look strong. Can I touch them? Please?" Lilly had gone mad. That was unfortunate. Mia would just have to rely more on Michael and Ren's help in her husband search. Well, maybe not Michael's help. He still hinted about how Mia did not need to be a princess to be a good person. But at least he was not trying to seduce Mia's potential fiancé.
Thankfully Michael and René were not far from where Lilly, Mia, and Andrew were walking together in the gardens. Mia waved desperately at the men to join them. She didn't even care if Andrew saw how badly she wanted more people with them.
Mia had hoped for something more when she met Andrew. She didn't expect love at first sight, but maybe some feeling of attraction and compatibility would have been nice. Lilly may want to eat him up for being so bizarrely different from her, but he was just rather boring to Mia. Nice guy, semi-cute, but no spark. Completely spark-less.
Michael and René were on the other side of some large hedges that could not be crossed over, so they could not immediately rescue Mia from the tedium of trying to talk with Andrew and trying to get Lilly not to talk or to scare the guy in some other way.
Andrew was still looking at Lilly like she was insane for wanting to touch his biceps. Mia knew she had to say something before the situation got worse. Mia ended up saying the dumbest thing she could possibly think of: "So, Andrew, do you want to fall in love before you get married?"
He looked at her like she was almost as crazy as Lilly, but then he looked more serious and actually answered the question with unexpected honesty. "I've already done that once, but the girl said she didn't want to become some boring duchess and have to go to garden parties at Buckingham palace."
"That sounds like my ex. I love him, too, but he doesn't want to become the Genovian prince consort, so we can't be together."
For a moment, Mia actually felt like Andrew and she could come to understand each other. Before she could think more about it, though, René and Michael had finally joined them. They had managed to find Nicholas in their short journey, too. Nicholas held a book and looked not very thrilled to be there, but his presence was endured and ignored as much as possible.
Michael stood next to Mia and whispered into her ear, "How's it going with Prince Charming?"
She whispered back, "Lilly approves of him. I think she wishes there were a few laws demanding the marriages of princesses' best friends."
René stepped forward and said, "Jacoby, have you met Nicholas Devereaux? He wants to steal Mia's throne. And this is Michael Moscovitz, Mia's ... good friend."
"Ex-boyfriend," Lilly added with a smirk. Just in case Andrew didn't get the hint, Lilly also said, "Mia's only significant ex-boyfriend, in fact." Naughty, naughty best friend.
Mia did make a genuine effort to fall in love with Andrew. She tried to make herself wonder what he was hiding beneath his polo and khaki trousers. She tried to imagine a life married to him and being pregnant with his child. Gross, gross, gross. She slipped Michael another note telling him a different way to get to her rooms that would not require his standing in front of the door and being seen by the voyeurs looking at the security monitors.
Missing Element #8: Nicholas with Good Hair.
Nicholas woke up with normal hair that was no longer so vertical.
(Author's Note: That was really the last cheap shot about the hair. Really.)
Missing Element #9: Lily's thesis.
The worst part about spending the night with Mia was having to leave in the morning. Who knew whether he'd be back the next night? Michael sat on the edge of the bed and looked for where he threw his robe, while Mia still lay in bed looking relaxed, content, and still very undressed. She was not going to make it any easier for him to leave her and sneak back to his own rooms.
"I'll miss you," he said.
"You're not going away yet. You said you'd stay for a week."
"Then you get married. I'll miss you."
Mia smiled weakly. "We'll still be friends, right?"
"Of course."
Neither had to say it, but they both knew that things would be very different between them once Mia chose her husband. Mia may not be marrying for love, but she would be faithful to whomever she chose. Being the Genovian prince consort was a tough job, and she would not make it harder by having a scandalous affair with her ex-boyfriend. Michael had been very important to her, but his part in her life would come to an end. Her husband would be the father of the next prince or princess of Genovia, and Michael Moscovitz would sleep in his own rooms in the guest wing when he visited the Genovian palace.
"I couldn't have gotten through the past few years without you," Mia said. "Even after we broke up and everything."
Ending their official relationship had been the hardest thing Michael had ever done in his life. One part of him had always dreamed that somehow they'd be able to make things work. He would live at the Genovian palace and not be expected to play the part of a world leader. Or she would give up her title and live with him in New York City as a normal couple. But they could not ignore the reality of their situation forever. He could not be Prince, she could not cease to be Princess, so they had to be content with being "just friends".
"I'm glad we did have all the time together that we had," Michael said. "It's been a good seven years."
"A great seven years. I'll see you out there in a bit."
He kissed her again and left. Leaving her was really, really damn hard. It would be even harder at the airport at the end of the week.
Michael passed by seven maids and a few of Mia's second-cousins on his way back to his own room the next morning. From all the significant smiles and snickers, it was safe to say that everyone in the entire palace knew where he had spent the night. Add 'total lack of privacy' to the long list of reasons why Michael had no desire to become Mia's prince consort.
That did not mean that he wanted Mia to marry that boring, semi-cute sap Andrew. Prince René was a cool guy, but neither René nor Mia looked very eager to get married to each other. René would never appreciate her the way she deserved. So they all still needed to find someone acceptable for Mia to marry by next month. Michael was glad that his own life was not governed by archaic laws and acts of Parliament, but he felt very sorry for poor Mia.
Michael had nearly gotten to the door to his suite, when he saw Lilly walking down the hall towards him. "Michael! You're up. Finally. That means Mia is up too, right?"
Michael unlocked the door to his room – a locked door was the best way for him to keep out curious heads of security, distant cousins of ex-girlfriends, and contenders for ex-girlfriends' thrones – and they both went in. Michael would have to bring his clothes to Mia's bedroom and take showers there if people insisted on appearing as soon as he came back. He tied his robe more tightly closed and sat down next to his sister.
"I choose to pretend that I have no idea why you think I'd know what Mia is doing now. If I had to guess, I'd say that she is taking a shower and getting dressed. I'd be doing that, too, if you weren't here. So why are you here?"
"There's a problem," Lilly said. "My thesis adviser just e-mailed. She wants me to get back to lab and show some real progress on my project."
"You're on vacation. Didn't you tell her?"
"Umm, I told her last week I was on vacation."
"You were still in California then. Why weren't you in lab?"
"Well," she began. Lilly looked uncharacteristically embarrassed by that admission. Lilly was the most shameless person Michael had ever met. She took a deep breath, then said, "I met a really, really gorgeous environmentalist. He's movie-star gorgeous. He could be a model. Really, really good-looking. You know?"
"I can imagine."
"Blond hair, very, very blue eyes, sun-kissed tan skin..." She was lost in the memory of how hot the environmentalist was. Michael vaguely wondered what his life would have been like had he had a little brother instead of his silly little sister. When do women grow out of crushes on cute guys?
"So what happened with Blondie?" Michael asked.
"He was chaining himself to a giant redwood in protest of a recent logging deal signed by the governor. It was the perfect opportunity to get to know him. God, he was so hot. Then after I found out about his wife and baby daughter, I couldn't back out and un-chain myself, could I? We were like a foot apart from each other for five days. He was still gorgeous even after he started to smell."
Never mind wishing for a little brother who did not talk about cute guys all the time. Michael wouldn't give up his weird sister for the world. He laughed, she blushed, and he laughed more.
After he was finally done laughing, he said, "So your thesis adviser expects you to be back at work, while you want to hang around here, abuse the palace staff, and flirt with Andrew Jacoby?"
"I tried to explain to Professor Cabot that I had duties to perform in Genovia as the princess's best friend, but she just said that the princess's best friend probably has access to the princess's airport and could come home and do her work. So we're going home early."
"We?"
"You think I'd let you stay here without me? Let you have all the fun? No way. Besides, you'd keep on trying to get Mia to give up her throne so she can be boring and be with you in New York."
"I'm not trying— I mean, I'm just kidding when I say things like that. It's not like Mia will listen."
"You're not staying if I can't be here to make certain you don't screw things up for Mia."
"Yeah, right, like you were such a great help yesterday with Andrew Jacoby."
"He isn't Mia's type. But she's going to have to find someone, even if it's just René. You'll be in the way."
He should tell Lilly to go back to America by herself, while he spent these last few days with Mia. But that would only be pushing back the inevitable. Mia wanted to keep her position as the heir to the throne, so she genuinely did want to find someone to marry. Michael did not want to see her with anyone else, at least not yet. He needed more time to get used to the idea of his Mia with another man. Perhaps it would be best if he stopped dragging out the torture and got the big good-bye over and done with.
"Fine. I'll call the airlines to book us a flight for tomorrow."
Missing Element #10: A steamy Grandmère sex scene.
Mia spent the morning with the official Genovian dressmakers so they could begin work on her wedding dress. The identity of the groom was still not finalized, but preparations were already being made for a big wedding at the end of the month. If she was going to be forced to get married a few years before she had planned, she would still do it with style.
Michael waited until after lunch to talk with her alone. At least he tried to talk with her alone. The moment he thought he had her in a private place, someone would come in the room and ask Mia something or give them a message from someone else in the palace. How could Mia stand living like that?
In desperation, Michael took Mia into the security room, where two security guards were playing a lazy game of chess while sitting in front of a wall of monitors showing the views from different security cameras around the palace. No one would think of looking for them there.
"You're not allowed in here," one of the security guards told Michael. But then he saw that Mia was there, too, and he looked adequately apologetic and asked whether he could help her with anything.
"Yes, you could help me," Mia said. "We'd like to borrow your room for a little bit. Would you mind giving us some privacy?"
"But the monitors..."
Michael looked at all of them and said, "Don't worry. We'll keep an eye out for terrorists and intruders."
Princesses always got their way, so the security guards left, and Mia and Michael were alone and able to monitor everyone else who could be wanting to find them. It was the perfect hiding spot, and rather interesting. Michael sat down in front of the largest monitor and played with the switches, changing the focus of the big monitor to different cameras around the palace. The first button brought up Grandmère and Joseph in the throne room, apparently having some happy conversation about oppressing granddaughters, stalking granddaughters' ex-boyfriends, and whatever else the two of them did for kicks. Another button changed the focus to a terrace in the gardens, where René and Andrew were talking. At least René was talking a lot, and Andrew was politely pretending to be listening.
Mia sat down next to Michael and said, "If you flip this switch, you can turn on the sound."
She flipped the switch and they could hear what René was saying.
"You'll love Genovia. It's a small country. Everyone has money and is really happy. They adore the Renaldo family. You'll have no problem at all with them. And Mia, well, Mia's great. You'll love Mia. She's tons of fun. Really exciting. Very funny."
It was almost touching. René was saying nice things about her to Andrew, so that Andrew would stick around and marry Mia in spite of the obvious lack of interest or attraction between Mia and him.
"I heard you like horses. Mia loves horses."
Now that was an even bigger lie than anything else René had said about her. The only times she had ever attempted to ride a horse had ended with her falling off very ungracefully and everyone laughing at her. She could never find a comfortable way to sit on the saddle. She'd be trying to change her position and then, oops, she'd slide off. Maybe there really was no comfortable way to sit on a saddle.
Andrew said, "Lilly said that Mia doesn't know how to ride."
The truth would never get in the way of René when he was lying. "How can Lilly Moscovitz know that? She wouldn't know an Arabian from a Thoroughbred. Mia on the other hand—"
"Actually, Lilly has been riding for years. Her brother said she's very good."
Mia said, "Michael! You didn't!" It was very hard to sound very outraged when she was laughing. Lilly really was determined to get Andrew for herself.
"She promised to send Mom and Dad a good anniversary present from the two of us if I said that." More seriously, he said, "You don't really want to marry Andrew Jacoby, do you?"
"I hardly know him. I don't know." Mia looked at the monitor at him and said, "I don't see why someone like him would even consider an arranged marriage to me. He seems to be a nice guy. He knows that I don't really want to marry him, and he knows that he'll have to live a very confined, restricted life as my prince, but he's still here. He's putting up with René and Lilly and you and Grandmère and the rest of this mess. He must be crazy, or he must really be willing to make this work. I still hope I don't have to get married at all, but if I have to, well, maybe..."
"Fine," Michael said. He didn't want to hear any more about the wondrous virtues of Andrew Jacoby, and he definitely did not want to hear more about Mia being willing to marry him.
"God, Michael, you know I don't want to marry anyone. I'm only twenty-one years-old. I'd rather stay with you, as your ex-girlfriend or whatever we say we are. You know that."
Michael reached over and pressed a different button, so Andrew and René in the gardens were replaced by a view of the Parliament chamber. A session was now in progress, with Prince Phillipe presiding up front. Viscount Mabrey's seat was empty, so chances were that they weren't discussing anything related to the law about Mia's marriage.
Old Lord Palimore was standing and speaking. "If Lord Mabrey can get the female heir law of 1742 to be enforced, I don't see why I can't insist that the sheep grazing law of 1750 be enforced. It was never repealed."
Prince Phillipe looked down at some papers in front of him, presumably the text of the sheep grazing law, and said, "The area reserved for the sheep commons is now a golf course."
Another member of Parliament spoke up. "The fifth hole isn't very good. I can never make it without going above par. We can rope that part of the course off for our sheep."
"I motion that we follow the headdress law of 1621 and wear the official Parliament hats when in session."
"Have you heard the one about the proper use of the Renaldo country house?"
Mia pressed a button before the scene got any sillier. Apparently Lord Mabrey had started a very dangerous trend. Her father had better get all the silly, out-dated laws repealed before Mia become Crown Princess. She was not looking forward to running sessions of Parliament herself with all the crazy, old members of Parliament. The monitor now showed another part of the gardens outside. A gardener was tending some flowers. Peaceful. Safe. Normal.
"What's the proper use of the Renaldo country house?" Michael asked.
"No idea. Miragnac is in France, so hopefully Parliament doesn't have the power to do anything too weird to it."
They both turned back to the security monitor when the peaceful scene became a bit more interesting. Nicholas and Viscount Mabrey walked into view. Both looked agitated. The gardener discreetly left, and had Mia and Michael been polite, they would also have stopped listening in on a very private conversation. But they were too astonished to see Nicholas's good hair to remember their manners.
"I told you, Uncle. I don't want anything to do with that family," Nicholas said.
"But you are a true Renaldo. You are part of the royal bloodline. You could be the next Crown Prince, if all my plans work."
"They're all crazy. Prince René has asked me a few dozen times whether I'd marry Amelia. He must be afraid that Jacoby will get scared off by Lilly Moscovitz. Princess Clarisse has actually thanked me for helping get Mia married so soon. Apparently she thinks that Mia needs to be saved from Michael Moscovitz. Prince Phillipe, well, he doesn't like me. Parliament is filled with a bunch of weird, old men. The food at the palace isn't as good as at our chateau. Everyone on the palace staff is very strange. I swear I saw some maids doing a dance routine in the kitchens. The Genovian press won't stop making fun of my hair."
Neither Michael nor Mia could say anything to defend the Renaldo family and the Genovian palace from those accusations. Mia liked the palace. Michael liked it because it was Mia's. Yes, the maids were annoying, but they were not very bright and therefore could be ignored and gotten rid of relatively easily.
"You'd give up your chance to be the prince of Genovia because of the food?" Lord Mabrey asked.
"I don't want to be a prince!" Nicholas said. "You want me to be a prince. I have my own dreams. I'd rather be a rock star."
"Nonsense, my boy. No one would rather go touring with his band when he could be ruling a country."
"You don't understand. You're not an artist. I know I have talent. Just listen to me."
Nicholas stood up to sing a song, and Mia quickly pressed a button before they had to listen any more.
"Hey. I want to hear whether he's any good," Michael protested, but that discussion stopped before it even began because Mia had switched back to the throne room, where Grandmère was now kissing Joseph with far more heat and passion than was proper.
"Oh... my... god..."
Missing Element #11: Michael playing badminton.
Mia and Michael refused to talk about what they had seen before they had bolted from the security room. Perhaps it had been a trick of the lighting. The image resolute was not very good. There must be a perfectly good explanation for what had looked like Mia's grandmother making out with her buff, old security guard. It couldn't possibly be that Grandmère could still have a sex life. Impossible. Gross, gross, gross.
Somehow they found themselves in the gardens, on the opposite side of the palace from the throne room, playing badminton against each other. It was finally just the two of them, this time completely without any outside interference. Neither felt like talking yet.
Mia served. Michael hit the birdie back over the net. Mia hit it back. Michael hit it again. Mia returned it. Michael reached, but missed. He threw the birdie back to Mia so she could serve again.
"One to zero." She served. He hit. She hit. He hit.
Badminton was really a very boring game. Mia won the next two points, too. Perhaps Grandmère had covered badminton strategies during Mia's princess lessons.
Michael said, "Lilly and I are leaving tomorrow."
"What?" Mia missed the birdie, and Michael wondered whether he should not have started this conversation during their badminton match. Then again, it was the first volley that had not ended with him missing, so perhaps this was a good strategy.
He said, "Lilly's thesis adviser wants her to go back to California, and Lilly says that I'm distracting you from your big husband search." He served and was disappointed that Mia had no problem returning it. They hit the birdie back and forth a few times until he hit it out of bounds. It was Mia's serve again.
"The big husband search is ending." She focused on the match while Michael waited for her to explain what that was supposed to mean. Mia couldn't marry Andrew or René. There had to be men out there more suited for her. She scored another point.
Mia said, "I've made up my mind. I'm not getting married because of an old law. Dad will get that stupid female heir law repealed, along with the sheep grazing law and all the other silly laws. Or if Dad doesn't do something, I'll do something. That law will somehow be repealed by the end of the month. So no wedding."
Michael didn't notice that Mia had served again. Another point to the princess.
"That's it? You're not getting married?" He tossed the birdie back to her and this time did hit it back when she served. She missed a backhand shot, so it was his serve again.
"Not yet," she said. "Aren't you going to serve?"
"But what if it takes time to get the law changed? It could take longer than a month."
"Then I'll get another extension from Parliament. Somehow. Grandmère won't be able to get me to marry René before then. Don't worry. Besides, now we have some excellent blackmail material to use against her."
Michael completely screwed up his serve thanks to Mia bringing that image back to his head. He really could have lived a happy life without having to see Princess Clarisse with her tongue down Joseph's throat.
"How many points do we play up to in a match?" Mia asked before serving again.
"It doesn't matter. Can we stop and say you won?"
"That would be unfair. Dad! How many points do you play up to in badminton?"
Michael turned and saw that they now had an audience. Prince Phillipe, Grandmère, Andrew, René, Joseph, and Lilly were all there on the sidelines. How much of their game had they seen?
"You really suck at badminton," Lilly told him.
Michael decided it was a very good time to end the game against Mia. He tossed the racket to his sister. "Your turn."
Mia handed the other racket to Andrew, and she stepped off the grassy area used for a badminton court. Andrew served first, and the match began. The Moscovitzes were not a very athletic family, but Lilly was still better than Michael.
"So why is everyone here?" Mia asked. "Something come up at Parliament, Dad? Shouldn't you still be there?"
Prince Phillipe hollered some advice to Lilly about her backhand, and then said, "Yes, something came up at Parliament. It was getting too ridiculous over there with all the old laws people were finding, so I declared a freeze on the enforcement of all laws that had not been enforced in the last one hundred years. It is only a temporary freeze so each can be evaluated to see whether it's silly. Not all of them are that bad."
The female heir law had definitely not been enforced in the last one hundred years. Michael could have kissed Prince Phillipe. Luckily he didn't have a chance to, since Mia had beaten him to it. "Thanks, Dad!"
"Why couldn't you have done that last week?" René asked. He was too delighted at the news to be too annoyed, though. He no longer had to worry about marrying Mia, so he didn't have to worry about the intricacies of Genovian law any more.
Prince Phillipe said, "Last week Lord Mabrey would have gotten the necessary votes to veto the measure. He was too busy dealing with his nephew's mental breakdown this afternoon to attend the session. And, quite frankly, we all were getting sick of hearing about the stupid laws people wanted to enforce."
Grandmère was the only one who did not look very pleased at this news. She glared at Michael and said, "This does not have to prevent you from getting married, Mia. It would be a sign of maturity. You would be showing the country that you are ready to be their princess and that you already have your prince picked out."
Lilly cheered over a particularly good point she had scored, and everyone else stopped and applauded her for her badminton prowess. Andrew did not look very upset about the news that his potential wedding was off. He looked more interested in scoring the next point himself.
"Let's talk about my marriage some other time, Grandmère. I want to hear what you think about that. And I want to hear what you think about a certain scene Michael and I saw this afternoon in the throne room..." Mia smiled innocently, but she looked very pleased with herself. She finally had the upper hand when dealing with her grandmother, and she was definitely going to abuse it.
Joseph was finding the badminton game particularly interesting. Grandmère was too classy a woman to look flustered at the reference to her dirty little secret, but she did look at her granddaughter differently. The power had shifted slightly in the Renaldo family. Mia was no longer a child that they could order around and tell to get married against her inclinations. She had made the first step in winning her grandmother's respect.
Grandmère raised her eyebrows and said, "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I will listen to what you have to say."
Andrew and Lilly's game was tied and was becoming very vicious. Mia and Michael sat down on the grass and watched. René made plans to fly back to Paris that evening. Prince Phillipe had more governing to do. No one asked where Grandmère and Joseph disappeared to.
Missing Element #12: A Happy Ending for Mia-and-Michael fans.
Lilly still had to return to Berkeley to work on her thesis, so Michael and she still had a flight to catch the next morning. Mia went with them to the airport.
Good-byes are a good time for personal confessions. Lilly hugged her best friend and said, "Andrew isn't a very good kisser. You should be very glad not to be marrying him. Sorry for ruining your chances with him."
"You kissed him? Maybe one day I'll forgive you," Mia said. "Now get out of here before I change my mind."
Lilly grabbed her carry-on luggage and boarded the plane, leaving Mia and Michael alone in the VIP lounge area to say good-bye.
Michael hugged her, but, unlike his sister, he did not let go. He said, "René isn't a very good kisser, either. Be glad you aren't marrying him."
Mia held onto him just as tightly as he held her. "If you find someone who kisses really, really well, send him over to Genovia. It's going to be very lonely without you."
He kissed the top of her head. "New York is going to be very lonely without you."
"You are going to come back and stay longer next time," Mia declared. It was a royal decree that Michael would have loved to be able to obey.
"I'll see what I can do." He let go of her enough so he could lean down and kiss her soundly on the lips. "It's very selfish of me, but I don't want you to ever get married."
Mia kissed him back and said, "Dad never did, so I don't see why I have to. That female heir law won't be a problem for much longer. Would you be my boyfriend again if I promise never to ask you to marry me?"
"What?"
"Everyone already knows that we're still together, so why not admit it?"
He had thought about that ever since they officially broke up. Every time he cut a meeting short at work so he could meet her for dinner, every time she smiled when she sat down next to him, every time he kissed her on the cheek in a strictly friendly manner, every time he woke up beside her in bed, he wished he could be more to her. She was everything to him, and he was only allowed to be her 'friend'.
"But... you need to get married."
"Grandmère and I had a nice talk yesterday. All I really have to do is have a kid some day. So will you go out with me?"
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! He did his best to show her his consent by kissing her a lot, ignoring the airline's boarding calls and the discreet coughs of Mia's bodyguards.
He finally said, "You have very pretty eyes. Sure. I'll go out with you. But I have a plane to catch."
Mia laughed and let him go. Good-byes weren't that bad so long as he knew that he would be coming back. And this time Michael Moscovitz knew that he was definitely coming back to Genovia and to his princess. No matter how many times he had to say good-bye, he would always return.
The End.