Breaking the habit

Summary: Sakura has started to write in a journal. Sasuke has done the same. One day, the two accidentally take each other's books. Now, Sasuke has to teach Sakura to cope with death, while Sakura shows him that he's not alone in the world.

Er... could someone tell me what 'face-faulting' is? Heheh... sweat drops

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Too bad, though! Sakura and Sasuke would've had a few 'moments' by now, if you catch my drift...

Oh yeah! And I don't own Linkin Park's song: Breaking the Habit. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, Gasp REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, want to though... That is one of the BEST depressing songs I've ever listened to! Not to mention the dark video. IT'S ANIME!!!!! I Love it! YAY DARKNESS!!!

Thanks to: Fire of Darkness for cheering me up with all of her hilarious reviews, Dragoneyes238 for burning me the song AND video of Breaking the habit along with several other songs I like such as 'River Below' 'let's get retarded' 'Hey ya' 'roses' 'Jesus walks' and many more! (I'm paying her back by decorating the wallpaper on her website!)

More thanks to my friends: Jon (Where the hell are you, Dammit?!) Lightbulb, (You'd better write back! cold glare ) Helen, (If ur reading this, Helen... CONGRATS on getting your computer fixed!) J-man, (How could you not know who I was?! sob ) Conny (It was nice to talk to you on MSN!) Hayley, (Did you see Inuyasha?!) and any other people that I befriended over the summer or am already friends with! (Write to me if I forgot you!)

"Naruto" = talking

'Naruto' = thoughts

Naruto = writing

Naruto= song

Perfection...

Everyone wants it. I don't understand why. If everyone were perfect, everyone would be exactly the same. Nobody would have individuality. Soon, imperfection would be what everyone wanted.

Nobody's perfect. This isn't just a saying, it's a fact of life. I know for a fact that I'm not perfect. The only problem is that everyone rubs it in. They bug me about my large forehead and about how much I read. So what if I read? And my forehead isn't that big!

Like I said before, nobody's perfect. Naruto, he's got the biggest ego I've ever seen! Even so, he's one of the nicest guys I've ever known and he's one of my best friends. Kakashi... he's a powerful ninja... if only he would stop reading that hentai book!

Then there's Sasuke... Sasuke is so great! His Uchiha blood gives him incredible skills including the Sharingan. He may be great, but just like everyone else... he isn't perfect. He is dark and quiet. Not to mention he never talks to me.

I don't think my life will get any better...

Sakura closed her book and let out a sigh. She had started to write in a diary a few weeks ago. It wasn't even a diary. It was more of a journal where she could write what she felt. Ever since she started to write, her personality had changed just enough for one person to notice, but not care.

Sakura pulled back a few strands of her pink hair as she stood up. This did no help, because the wind blew it back into place. The scent of Sakura petals overwhelmed her senses as she walked through the park.

Holding the book tightly against her chest, the shinobi started to walk back home. Every once in a while, she would sense the chakara of one of her friends, rivals or stalkers, but she continued to walk, ignoring the fact that she could be with friends right now, training, eating ramen or just hanging out.

After several minutes of walking, Sakura finally stepped up to her house. Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened the door to see the emptiness of her home. It looked just like it did a few weeks ago, but there was now something permanently removed...

& & &

A lot of my friends have come over to visit me in the past few weeks. Surprisingly, Sasuke managed to come over as well. I thought I wasn't worth his time, but he seems to make a tiny bit of space for even me.

Everyone keeps asking the same question whenever they come over: "where are your parents?" As usual, I just smile and say: "Oh... just on a mission. Nothing special! They'll be back in a few weeks." So far, I have everyone who's asked.

Naruto: 59

Ino: 15

Hinata: 25

Neji (why does he come?): 7

Dog-brow: 23

Tenten: 16

GAARA?!: 2

Sasuke: 5

Speaking of Sasuke, he dropped a book on the way home. It looks like my journal, except his is slightly bigger than mine. I'll probably return it to him tomorrow.

Sakura stopped writing when someone knocked on the door. She closed the book and walked downstairs. Sakura opened it, expecting Naruto or shudder Lee, but ended up meeting a pair of onyx eyes looking down at her.

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked, slightly surprised about her visitor.

"Who'd you expect?" Sasuke asked. "Naruto?"

"Er... well... yeah." Sakura replied as her cheeks started to turn rosy. Sasuke face-faulted as Sakura sweat-dropped.

"You didn't meet us at the bridge today." Sasuke started."...I asked Kakashi why you weren't there..." Sakura held her breath, waiting for the rest of his sentence. "...and he didn't reply." Sakura let out a sigh of relief small enough for Sasuke not to notice. "Actually, he pulled out his hentai book faster than Naruto could eat a bowl of ramen."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly. "Wow... that's saying a lot..." She murmured. Sasuke nodded in agreement. "So... why'd you come over?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"I... er... well..." Sasuke closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "You seem... different..." Sasuke explained, avoiding her eye. He looked down and noticed that her wrists that now had red cloth wrapped around them. "You're quiet now... It's not like you." He finished, looking up at her.

Sakura gaped at him for a second, but then smiled. "What do you mean, Sasuke?" She asked, smiling sweetly. Sasuke gave her a cold glare, which made her wince.

"You're less social, you train alone, you don't try to hurt Naruto as badly and you're not following me like Ino and Temari." Sasuke replied flatly.

"Oh..." Sakura scowled at the raven-haired boy, who just scowled back. "Well then... maybe the different me is better!" She snapped. She slammed the door in Sasuke's face with such power that the Uchiha boy jumped back to avoid getting hit.

"Sakura...!" Sasuke yelled. Without realizing what he was doing, Sasuke opened the door and stepped inside the Haruno home.

& & &

Sakura sat upstairs, writing in her book once again.

Sasuke can make me so mad sometimes! He treats everyone so badly... Sakura stopped when she heard a thump come from downstairs. ...and now he's BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!!!!

The pink-haired girl slammed her book shut and stormed downstairs to find Sasuke looking around for her. He turned his head to the sound of Sakura entering the room. Both pairs of eyes flashed with rage as they gazed at each other.

There was silence. It seemed so familiar to Sasuke... it was as if he heard it all the time...

Sasuke coughed to break the silence. "So... where are your parents?" He asked, turning to face the couch. Sakura paused before replying.

"Oh, you know, out on a mission. They'll be back in a week or so."

"Sakura..." Sasuke said, turning back to her. "You said that three weeks ago."

The shinobi hesitated before replying. "Well... they never said when they'd actually be back!" She snapped.

"..."

"Just... get out of my house!" She screamed after a while. "And take your stupid book!" She added, chucking the navy-blue book at him. Sasuke caught it, not caring what she had read. It was a journal. So what if she read it? She could read it front to back and not find anything about him. Sasuke gazed at Sakura before turning and leaving the house.

& & &

'What's up with her?' Sasuke asked himself silently. He looked down at the book Sakura had thrown at him. Something about it felt different... it seemed... smaller...

"Maybe I should write a little..." He said to himself. After finding a large tree to sit in, Sasuke climbed up to one of the branches and leaned against the trunk. His leg hung off the branch lazily as he opened the book to one of the earlier pages from a while ago.

Mom and Dad have left again. They said something about a missing-nin attack. I'm not sure when they'll be back, but I'm alone for a while now...

"This..." Sasuke's eyes widened, "this is Sakura's journal..." 'I should return it...' He was about to close the book when something stopped him. 'Maybe I can find out why Sakura's depressed...' Sasuke flipped through the pages until another entry caught his eye.

Mom and Dad still haven't returned. I'm starting to miss them now. Kakashi sent Naruto, Sasuke and I on this weird mission to find some lost cats for this old lady. It was definitely weird. There weren't just a few cats... there were like twenty! Naruto had a bad time, though. He got scratched a billion times. Maybe it's that fox demon inside him.

Sasuke was quiet, as usual. There isn't much to say about him. He found quite a few cats, but not as many as me! I found and caught the most. Maybe it's a girl thing.

Sasuke smiled slightly. He remembered that mission. It was absolutely stupid, but... he had to admit... fun. He leafed through the pages until he found another interesting one.

Sometimes life isn't fair. I have a mom and a dad. It seems like it's nothing sometimes, but when you get to know someone like Naruto and Sasuke, you start to realize how much you really have.

Naruto, he never even knew his parents. His life was a misery and the villagers treated him badly. I'm surprised he can keep the smile on his face. Sasuke... he's a different story. His parents were killed right before his eyes. I can see why he's so quiet now. It must hurt to see your parents die right in front of you. Me... nothing's happened to me. I haven't felt any pain like that. Maybe that's why I'm so weak... because I haven't been through enough to know what real pain is like. That's why they're stronger than me. Sometimes I wonder what it's like with no family, but I have to be careful what I wish for.

Sasuke was surprised that Sakura had written this. She wasn't weak. She just had strengths in other places, not to mention she hadn't tapped into her power completely. She could be strong if she tried. It was then that he remembered what he had said a while ago before the chuunin exams.

'Why waste your time flirting when you should be practicing? Even Naruto's skills are better than yours.'

"I can't believe I said that..." Sasuke said bitterly. Even though it was so long ago, it still came to mind whenever he thought of her...

Sasuke turned to another page.

The Hokage summoned me today. When I came to see him, Kakashi, Tsunade, Iruka, Gai and the other senseis were there. They told me that my parents were killed by Orochimaru and the missing nins. I knew I should've been careful of what I wished for. Right now... I'm not sure what to do... life seems so complicated now... Is this what Sasuke felt? No. His was worse. All I know now is that I'm alone in the world now. Nobody's here for me.

Sasuke read and reread the entry, not believing what he had just found out. Sakura's parents... were... dead? How long ago was that? It must've been when her personality changed. The main problem was that Orochimaru survived! He turned to the next page.

I can't believe it was Orochimaru killed my parents... He already hurt me when Sasuke joined him. That's why it's so uncomfortable being around him. I'm not sure what to think of Sasuke anymore. Why me? What's so special about ruining my life? Well, everyone does it already...

I hate the pain that I get from everyone. I didn't know how to release the pain until I accidentally cut my hand with a knife. I felt... slightly relieved. After that, I started slicing my wrists. The pain felt... good...

Sasuke paused. He remembered Sakura wearing bandages on her wrists, but he wasn't sure why. He thought they were part of the costume.

'Sakura...' Sasuke thought silently. 'So that's why she won't talk to me. She doesn't trust me...' He looked down at the bottom of the page where he had left off to see it was stained with blood. It wasn't just a few drops, it was covering the half of the page. "Sakura...!" Sasuke jumped out of the tree and ran to Sakura's house.

& & &

Sakura wrapped her wrists in the gauze once again. She felt slightly dizzy from losing so much blood, but she didn't care. After stumbling down the stairs, she picked up her book. Sakura opened it and gasped.

Memories consumed

Sakura seems... strange. She's not acting normal. I'm not sure why, but she's wearing bandages on her wrists. They were red, so I thought they were just a new part of her clothing. Now, I'm not so sure anymore.

"Sasuke..." She flipped a few pages back and began to read.

Like opening the wound

I've finally come back to Konoha. I feel sort of relieved to be away from Orochimaru. Naruto seems mad at me, Kakashi... I don't think he even knew I was gone. His face was stuck in his hentai book as usual. Sakura however... she didn't talk to me once in the past week. That's definitely not like her.

Sakura gaped at the book. "Sasuke... notices me?" She flipped to the next page and started to read.

I'm picking me apart again

Sometimes I wonder why my life is miserable. Well, for starters, there's Itachi. Then there's my bloodline. If I weren't part of the Uchiha family, I probably wouldn't be followed around by so many people. Maybe then I'd be happy.

Well, I have to admit, I'm happier than I used to be. I now have friends like Sakura and Naruto to hang out with. Even though I barely talk to them, they're the best friends I've ever had. Naruto 's a great challenge when it comes to training and Sakura... Sakura's sweet. She's always by my side no matter what to cheer me up. It's hard to imagine life without her.

You all assume

I'm safe here in my room

"Sasuke..." Sakura felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Sasuke... I..." She stopped when a drop of blood fell onto the page... then another. "Oh no..." The shinobi dropped the book and ran for the bathroom. She unwrapped the bandages over the sink, letting it bleed a little.

"Oh god... I think I sliced my wrists a little too soon..." Sakura said to herself.

Unless I try to start again

Sakura started to feel dizzy again. She felt the pain, only this time, it didn't make her feel better.

"My head..." She groaned, clutching her skull in pain. "It... hurts..." Her legs buckled from under her and she collapsed to the ground, coughing up blood. Sakura wearily sat up, reaching for anything that could stop the bleeding. Nothing worked. She watched helplessly as the blood dripped onto the floor.

"Maybe... maybe I'll see you again, mom..." Sakura said, hoping that her mother would hear her. "... I'd love to see you one more time..." She finally gave up on keeping her eyes open. 'Death isn't as bad as some people say.' She thought to herself. "I'm sorry, Sasuke!!"

& & &

Sasuke opened the door and ran inside the Haruno home.

"Sakura!!" He called, a slight hint of panic in his voice. "Sakura! Where are you?!" After hearing no reply, Sasuke started to look around her house: first the kitchen, then the living room. He then moved to the bedrooms in which he found no sign of the girl. He called her name once again.

"Sakura!!!"

I don't want to be the one

the battles always choose

Sasuke heard a moan from the bathroom down the hall. He immediately ran down and opened the door to find Sakura lying in a small pool of blood. The girl opened an eye to look up at the shocked face of Sasuke.

Cause inside I realize

"You... saw the blood..." She mumbled, smiling weakly. Sasuke knelt down and lifted her head up.

"You're lucky you threw your book at me." Sasuke said smiling. Sakura shook her head.

That I'm the one confused

"It was a win-win situation." She replied shakily. Sasuke frowned at this, but didn't say anything. Instead, he picked the girl up and rested her on the bathroom counter. He rolled out the gauze and cut it with his teeth. He then wrapped Sakura's wrists in the bandages. Sakura stayed silent through the entire process. After he was finished, Sasuke looked up at Sakura's face, an expression that Sakura had only seen a few times before... worry.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

or why I have to scream

"Sakura... let me show you something." Taking her hand, Sasuke helped Sakura off the counter. He led her up the hall and into the living room. The two sat down on the couch, silence surrounding them.

"Sakura..." Sasuke started. He looked down at his wrists, trying to think of how to explain his life. Letting out a sigh, He turned to Sakura and pulled the cloth on both his wrists off revealing scars from knives.

I don't know why I instigate

"See this?" He asked, looking intently at Sakura. "This is what happened to me after my parents died. I was around eight when I started to slice my wrists. It made me feel better... for a while."

"Sasuke... I didn't..." Sakura looked up at him. "I didn't know..."

And say what I don't mean

"You're the first." He replied quietly. "I did it for six months. After that, I found no more relief from it." Sasuke took Sakura's hands in his. "You're lucky." He whispered, holding her hands gently. "Your wrists won't be scarred like mine. You won't have to just look at your hands to remember the pain you've been through."

Sakura gazed at Sasuke. He was so strong... so powerful... yet he suffered so much...

"Sasuke..." Sakura felt a lump in her throat. "I... I..." She felt the salty tears start to roll down her cheeks. Sasuke watched as Sakura broke down in sobs.

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

"Sakura... it's okay..." Sasuke whispered, pulling her into an embrace. "I'm here for you."

"I'm so stupid..." Sakura's muffled voice said from in his shirt. "You've been through twice as much as me... and I'm the one trying to kill myself."

"It's not your fault." Sasuke replied gently. "After someone close to you dies, you end up confused, thinking that you're alone..." Sasuke paused, realizing what he had just said.

'How could I be so stupid?!' He asked himself. 'I thought I was alone in the world when it came to my mission... but it takes the death of my friend's parents to make me realize that I'm not the only one who's family is gone.

So I'm breaking the habit

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

I'm breaking the habit

"Will you promise me something?" Sakura asked, looking up at Sasuke. "If we ever find Orochimaru, will you help me kill him?"

Sasuke smiled weakly. "Yes... I will, Sakura."

Tonight

Sakura pulled away from Sasuke, sitting up.

"I'm scared." She whispered, looking at her teammate. "I'm not sure what to do anymore..." Her lip trembled, threatening to make her cry again.

"Well... actually... neither did I." Sasuke admitted, looking at the wall.

"Really...?" The pink haired shinobi asked timidly, looking up. Sasuke nodded.

Clutching my cure

"Yeah... First I hid myself. I eventually came out of my house, but I didn't talk to anyone." He explained

I tightly lock the door

"You must've been as scared as I am." Sakura mumbled. Sasuke rested a hand on her shoulder for support.

I try to catch my breath again

"There's nothing to be scared of." Sasuke assured her. "You have to stick up for yourself sometimes."

I hurt much more

than anytime before

"I wish this never happened..." Sakura muttered under her breath. Sasuke didn't say anything. "...but if it didn't, I wouldn't have learned so much about you." Sasuke turned at her last statement.

I have no options left again

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked. Sakura forced a smile.

"I always wondered what your life was like..." Sakura started. "And I pretty much replayed the scariest moments in your mind without knowing it."

I don't want to be the one

the battles always choose

"Well, I'm sort of glad too." Sasuke whispered. Sakura raised an eyebrow in question. "Well... when I found out what was wrong, it felt like I was going back to stop myself from doing all those things I would regret." Sasuke let out a sigh. "That's why I can never leave you alone. You're like my past. I want to avoid it, but it always comes back to me. I always knew I'd have to face it again... and that meant facing you."

'cause inside I realize

that I'm the one confused

"Sasuke..." Sakura looked worried. "What do you mean by that?"

Sasuke let out a sigh. "Sakura... you remind me of myself." He explained. "That's why I was worried about you. You're like the side of me that's happy... the side that nearly vanished when my parents died. Now that your parents are gone, you're distant... and that's why it was worrying me."

I don't know what's worth fighting for

or why I have to scream

Sakura looked down. "But... it's so hard for everything to go back to normal..."

"It never will go back to the way it used to be..." Sasuke said grasping her hand tightly. "But you still have a chance to have a better life."

I don't know why I instigate

and say what I don't mean

"But..." tears started to roll down Sakura's cheeks once again. "I never got to say goodbye... how can I be happy with that?"

"Trust me..." Sasuke whispered. "You will." He let go of her hand. "In a few weeks, when you start to feel better, we can make proper graves for your parents." He looked down at Sakura with honest eyes to show that he wasn't lying.

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

"Sasuke..." Sakura stuttered, not sure what to say. "Sasuke... thank you." She forced another smile on her lips. "I'm glad I became friends with you. If you weren't here right now, I'd probably be dead."

So I'm breaking the habit

Sasuke smiled warmly. "Sakura... if you had died, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. It would kill a part of me... I might as well kill myself."

I'm breaking the habit

"Sasuke..." Sakura bit her lip before asking. "You know in your journal... all those things... about me... do you mean that?"

Sasuke blushed slightly. She had read his journal? "What do you mean?" He asked nervously.

"Those ones about not being able to imagine life without me." She replied timidly.

At first Sasuke paused, not sure about what to say to her. His look of shock turned into another one of his rare warm smiles. "Yes, Sakura... I did." He replied softly.

Tonight

"Sakura..." Sasuke said, going back to their normal subject. The pink haired girl looked up in question. "It's your turn to promise me something."

"What is it?" She asked.

"Don't ever try to kill yourself again." He said, smiling slightly. Sakura grinned and punched him lightly on the arm.

I painted on the walls

"Sasuke... I don't want anyone to know about mom and dad." She explained. "People will treat me different... I don't want that. I'm already treated badly... I don't want it to get any worse than it already is."

'Cause I'm the one at fault

Sasuke averted his gaze. "No, Sakura... it will never go back to normal." He explained quietly. "I know you're not ready to tell the world about what happened, so it can be our secret for now."

Sakura sniffed a little. "Do... do you mean it?" She asked, eyes hopeful. Sasuke nodded in reply.

I'll never fight again

"Sakura..." Sasuke took Sakura's hands once again. "Can you promise me one more thing?" Sakura nodded. "You know how I told you that life can never go back to normal? Well... even though that's true, you can still be happy. I mean... look at Naruto!"

And this is how it ends

Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Sasuke." She whispered. "You've done a lot for me... and all I've done is try to flirt with you." She looked at the floor. "I feel so bad..."

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Sasuke caught her chin and pulled her head up to face his. "Sakura... you shouldn't feel bad... I tried to push you away..."

"No." Sakura cut him off. "I feel like such a fool doing that to you and I'm really sorry."

"What for?" Sasuke asked.

or why I have to scream

"For being such a flirt. I just... really liked you and I was worried that I'd be replaced if you were with someone else."

But now I have some clarity

to show you what I mean

"Sakura..." Sasuke whispered, leaning closer to his teammate. "Nobody could replace you."

Sakura looked up at Sasuke, slightly confused. "Sasuke..." She bit her lip. "Don't... please... I don't deserve it."

Sasuke gazed at Sakura, slightly sad at what she was saying. Then it dawned on him. 'Why...do I feel this way? It feels strange... new...'

"Sakura... I just realized why I'm so distant to you." Sasuke told her, slightly excited. "I've always felt... different around you... at first, I was scared... then I started to get comfortable about it. Now... now I know what it is."

I don't know how I got this way

Sakura swallowed, waiting for the worst. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she waited for the answer. 'Don't be hate... please don't be hate...'

I'll never be alright

"Sakura..." Sasuke placed his hands on her shoulders. "Sakura it's love."

Her eyes snapped open. "Sasuke..." Tears started to form in her eyes once again.

So I'm breaking the habit

"I never realized it until now..." Sasuke was smiling... smiling at Sakura... "I was so blinded by hate and revenge... that didn't know what to do with this unusual feeling I got when I was around you. Now... thanks to you, I know for sure that I do love you."

I'm breaking the habit

Sakura felt the first tear roll down her cheek. Sasuke caught it with his thumb and gently wiped it away. "Sakura..." Sasuke whispered. "Don't be sorry about what you did. It's alright."

"I'm breaking the habit

"Sasuke!!" Sakura threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. Slowly, Sasuke wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist. "I promise you, Sasuke..." Sakura whispered in his ear "...that I will never do this again." She smiled weakly before adding: "and I love you too."

Tonight

The End

Was it good? Huh? It took me a while to make this and I think it's pretty good in my opinion. The one thing is I didn't add kissing because it wasn't the best moment to do so. I mean, come on! Sakura's parents are dead, she's been slicing her wrists and it's a good time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! If you don't know what the song sounds like, ask some friends that talk about Linkin Park if you can borrow the Meteora CD (it's number nine), or download it. Well, I'm gonna be gone for a few days, so I apologize to anyone who wants a new up soon. I'll be back... Thursday night. I hope you enjoyed this story and I hope you review! Thanx a billion!

Reviews:

Leishe: Don't worry about it. I only put it up a week ago!

LiveLoveLaugh: Was it really a short short? , (that's a sad kitty face. Wanna see a happy one? )

NatsumiKaze: YAAHHH! Linkin Park RULES!!!

Loki Blacktrick(): Thanx a million! What song should I use for a sequal? I kinda like numb... but I don't think It'll suit it. How about somewhere I belong? By the way, there's this song I like... It's #7 on Meteora, but the CD was burned so I don't know the titles. Can u help?

AnimEvivvErz: WOW! What a great review! WOW! I mean WOW! Your review was the first one I read! WOW was it an eye opener! WOW!! giggles

IHearVoices: Thanks for the review, but I wanted Sasuke to open up to Sakura... ya know... tell her about his hard past... Sakura was a little too depressed for something cool. Thanx neway!

And to every one else... should I enter this in the Anime north fanfiction competition next year? I won once... I wanna win again! Would this work? (maximum amount of words is 7000)