DISCLAIMER: I don't own Trigun... sigh... well, if you want to give me Vash or Knives as a present, you're welcome!! XD

CHAPTER 9: HELEN SAVEREM

-MERYL'S POV-

I knew I was in a really good mess. Ad I couldn't let Vash know what happened with his brother: he would only be worried all the time without be able to solve nothing. Si I didn't even think to tell Vash the story when I left Knives alone.
But I couldn't stay silent, so I went to speak with Milly, but when I saw her working in the garden I remembered our little chat the previous night and I decided to not say anything at all and to return in Vash's room.

"What's happened?" came his voice and I looked at hi mas if I didn't know what he was talking about. I know my face had to ber ed and upset, but I acted as if was all right.
"Why?" I asked with surprised expression. I hated the idea of lying to Vash, but for his and mine sake that was the best thing to do. Vash rose his shoulders.
"You seem a little strange..."

I smiled shaking the head.
"Don't worry, Vash. It's a matter of none importance"

-NORMAL POV-

Meryl walked to the library to clean it. When she entered she froze immediately: Knives Saverem was sitting on a chair with a glass of wiskey in one hand and a book in the other. The maid turned around and was going to leave the room when a deep voice stopped her.

"Where are you going?" Knives asked without rise the eyes from the book. Meryl swallowed, putting a lock of hair behind the ear.

"I tought you didn't want being disturbed"
Knives lifted up his cold eyes on her.

"I've asked you where are you going, not what are you doing..."
Meryl turned around, looking her master in the eyes.

"There's a lot of work to do. I could make noise cleaning here, so I've tought that maybe I could have cleaned other rooms"
Knives closed the book and stood up, walking toward her. He grinned.
"Why?"

Suddenly Meryl felt he was going to touch a dangerous point. Dangerous for her, obviously...
"Because..." if she would admitted she did it to leave him in peace, Knives would have taken it to play in his favour. But she didn't know what else she could say, so she say the truth.
"... Because I didn't want disturbe you, Sir" Meryl bowed the head and turned away, but a big hand grabbed her arm. When she turned, Knives' face was very near her's. A sadic grin was on his lips.

"Sometimes you are so sweet and innocent... And others... so unbearable..."
Meryl felt her cheeks blushing from the intense, heavy look he was giving her.
He grabbed her wrists and pushed her against him.

"I like when you are angry: you are so beautiful when you scream and look me as if you are going to kill me..."
The maid was looking Knives in that very way, now.
"You are a crazy masochist"

A knock came from the big door at the entrance of the palace.
"Excuse me, I must go to open the door..." she muttered, but Knives'hold on her wrists was strong.

"There are other spiders who can do that. You'll stay here" Knives'face was nearer second by second; his hold on Meryl's wrist prevented her from excaping.
The maid close the eyes. She felt defeated, and couldn't stop a tear. The knock came again.

"I'm here" Milly advised from some room of the palace.
Meryl was waiting for Knives'lips, but they never came. When she opened the eyes, he was there, a few centimeters between them. He was studying her confusing and resigned face.
The tear had left a wet trail on her cheek. Knives left her wrists, and put a hand on her cheek, cancelling that trail of sorrow on Meryl's face. The maid stood confused, looking her master leaving the library.
Why did he stopped? Wasn't that what he wanted? She didn't understand him...

-KNIVES' POV-

I asked myself what cought me in the library even if I knew the answer. Looking her so... fragile, as if she had just accepted the death, made me... I don't know. I felt disgusting. I wanted her, and I still want her, but not that way. Not with fear and tears.

I went to the entrance to see who was arrived. Perheaps Legato.
But when I saw who was the person on the door, giving orders to the tall female spider who opened the door, I was going to scream.
Vash wasn't enought. I was a fool to believe I could live in peace here. I've never lived in peace.

My grandmother Helen looked at me, but she didn't even greeted me. Typical.
"Where's Vash?"
I looked her coldly. After years I didn't see her, that was all she had to say me?!? That fucking bitch!!

"Go away" I murmured with rage. She looked me in disgust, that hit that walking-stick she had always with her heavy on the ground. The noise boomed in all the palace.
"I need to see my nephiew"
"FUCK YOU!! GO AWAY, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!!"

Her face remained cold. Her look was so detached it was scary.
"I see you are no better now than when I expelled you from Gladstone... You are a real disgrace for my powerful, good-named family, Knives. Now that you've recived my attentions, I want to see my nephiew"

I was shaking. She was always been so... full of love for Vash! To her, Vash was the only one who mattered, the only one who deserved a smile, a gesture of fondness, sweet words. Vash was only a coward: that was the reality.

"Take this old bitch to his precious nephiew" I ordered to the spider named Milly, then turned away. I needed to read something to calm myself. I ignored the spider who was become an obsession to me, standing in the passage. I ignored her face, so full of a disgusting, unbearable pity.
I close the door of the library behind me.

Again, I excaped from her.
From my past.
From the world.