DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN X-MEN: EVOLUTION OR ANYTHING FROM MARVEL, ANY OCs ARE MINE.

IMPORTANT: A/N: FOR THOSE NEW PEOPLE THIS IS PART OF MY AGU SERIES SO YOU MIGHT MISS A FEW THINGS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE OTHER STORIES, THIS TAKES PLACE NEAR THE BEGINNING OF 'ADJUSTMENTS'

I can't believe I'm doing this...writing in a diary, this is just so...girly. I mean just because Xavier gave me this as a way to deal with my anger issues was insane enough as it was, the fact that I'm actually writing this is even worse. He said I should write down anything I couldn't share with the others, and to tell the truth there's a LOT I couldn't say to these people.

How the hell can I just tell anyone the things I've gone through. I mean these guys used to be my enemies. But here I am living with them...I didn't see this coming, I mean at the Brotherhood sure we weren't exactly living under the best conditions but we were close...at least I thought we were.

Imagine my surprise when I found out they knew about my so-called FATHER WAS MESSING WITH MY HEAD! I mean they were SUPPOSED to be my friends but they did they tell me? Did my so-called brother tell me? Did Toad who said he loved me tell me?

HELL NO!

God! I just feel so betrayed! I trusted them! They were the first people I can remember that I trusted! They were my first friends and they lied to me cause it was more continent to THEM that I was changed...why couldn't they have accepted me? I know I was angrier then, but I was trying damn it! I was...it was so hard to fit in when Mystique got me out of that place...I...I just wanted to fit in...but how do you fit in when you spent most of your life locked up in small rooms.

Even now I hate small places, they just remind me of horrible times...but then for a little while I thought I might have to go back when my original and the fake memories started to battle it out in my mind...I though I was going insane...I was hurting so much but I felt I couldn't trust the Brotherhood, and I was right.

If I had told them, especially Pietro...well...I don't want to think of what Magneto would have done to me. But I got him back. I ruined his plans and helped the X-Men save their friends and even family from him. The fact that I betrayed him and joined Xavier...well...I'll admit. That puts a smiled on my face thinking what that does to him.

It may not be the kind of revenge I wanted on him but it will do...for now. When I see him again though it won't be pleasant for him.

I hate him.

I just hate that man.

After all he's done do me I can't remember the last time he ever did anything FOR me. I never knew mother so he was all I had. He wasn't much of a father even before he had me locked up.

But here I am...the only member of the old Brotherhood still here...well that's not true. Rogue was a member long before me and so was Tabitha, but I wasn't there when they were still members. I still can't believe they choose to side with HIM.

Although after those FOH jerks burnt down our home and then HE had to come and save the day...I still don't but it. He was there at the perfect moment, I can't prove it but it wouldn't surprise me if he was somehow involved. But now the others don't trust humans even more then ever...I can see their point but still...Magneto is wrong...he would do everything and anything to further his plans, and everyone is expendable...even family.

So here I am writing in a...you know I'll just called it a journal instead of a diary, it's more me anyway, and if anyone is reading this (especially YOU Bobby) I will HURT you BADLY and you know I mean it.

Xavier had tried to help me for months, but he couldn't get through all my anger, at least now he was a second chance...maybe we both do. He has tried to help me with my anger, and it's slow...but I'm getting there a little.

Well I think that's all I got to say about most of my past...for now. As for my present...it's like I said, it's different.

It's already been a little over a week and I think I'm getting the hang of this place...that...and I stopped getting lost at least. Although I could do without two things, the Danger Room and the studying.

I've never had to train before and after just a few of those, two things suddenly made them selves clear to me. The first is that now I can see why the X-Men always seemed to outdo the Brotherhood. With training like that it's no wonder they're good. Another is wondering how they even stand after those. (Especially those dame early morning ones, sometimes I think Logan lives to torment the students.)

I mean after my first one I was sweating and aching so much I just went to my room and slept for an hour.

Now the studying is another matter. Although it's not like I got a lot to do all of this isn't so easy. I mean Xavier wanted me to experience school, which I didn't go to when I was with the Brotherhood but he wants me to have an education. Personally I think I'd rather be home schooled, I don't like the idea of going to Bayville High after the summer, but then Xavier said she shouldn't be afraid of the outside world.

The truth is...I am.

I've had the world pass me by and ever since I got out I still felt like I've been trying to catch up.

But at least I'm not alone in this. X23 or Sarah Logan as she's calling herself now, at least she's in the same boat as me. So she's younger but she's got the same anger as me, was locked up and well, her life has sucked just as much as mine if not more so. Although for some reason she kind of likes the studying.

Especially the history for some reason, I guess I might have to ask her at one point why. But at least she has a dad that seems to want to care for her. Logan is as close to a biological father that she's got, and he definitely tries his best to be a father, but it's obvious he has no idea where to start.

But at least he tries. That's more then my own ever did for me...she's lucky in that regard. I see them at times and the few times when they seem to bond or get close I find myself wishing that I had that in my life. I wish I had someone who cared for me like she does...but I don't...I don't think I ever did or will.

Times like this I wish mom was alive...but I was told she died at childbirth...I wish I got to know her. I wanted to know her, but Magneto never talked about her much at all. I not only did I lose my mother but everything that was her. I got nothing of her, not even an image of what she looked like...I think I'll write about something else...this is just...too painful to get into now.

The others here are sort of okay once you get to know them. I can't believe that I got Rogue of all people as a roommate, but at least we're not fighting all the time now. I will admit we do have a lot in common. We were both manipulated by our parents had our minds messed with, tried to kill said parents. So at least she had another person I could relate to, but mostly we just complain to the other about them. But that's nice too. At least we both get a chance to let out some steam with each other.

We're not best friends or anything but at least we're getting along.

I hate to admit it but what Vince did was a good thing. Although he better not do anything like that again or I will make sure he won't be happy.

Now Vincent...he's another thing. I never got to really know that guy, hell the first time I met him was with the others when he, Rouge, Tabby and Sam were coming out of the movies. At first I thought he was just some new guy, but after he made a fool of Pietro I had to admit the guy wasn't so bland at first glance after all.

Of course when we told Magneto about him and he actually looked worried, well then I was curious. I'll have to ask around to see what his story is, plus those scars on his back I saw at the pool...well...I get the feeling it's not a nice story, I've heard a few things but not the entire story.

Now as for Jean and Scott...well...they're trying to make me feel like I fit in, it's just that I think they're trying a little TOO hard in my opinion. So I've been trying to avoid them for the moment, I can only take so much goody, goody stuff, before my stomach turns slightly.

Tabitha is nice enough though, at least she was more like a true member of the old Brotherhood so I'm feeling like I can relate to her more. I mean when she took me to see the old Brotherhood place as a final farewell it was a nice thought, even if I didn't tell her. I was completely shocked that there was construction going on.

I mean my old home burnt down and they just up and build over it like it didn't matter at all. Not that I'm surprised. No one in this town really liked us, or that place, even before mutants were exposed to the world. But it did get worse when mutants were exposed, and THANK YOU FATHER FOR THAT!

I still don't know what goes though that think, helmeted head of his, and I really don't want to know either.

Then there was that Selene woman. I didn't like her from the moment I saw her, and how she freaked out that Amara girl was another thing I didn't like. Amara isn't that bad, so she can be a little stuck up, but she also seems shy and slightly insecure at times too, so I think she acts stuck up at times so she tries and hide it her shyness and insecurities from the others.

I still remember that sleep over we had, it was my first and I was actually having a good time. It was strange to actually connect with the girls like that. Even the human friends they got. I'll admit Amy and Pam seem nice.

And boy when Gale kissed Amy and she LIKED it! That was a shocker. I mean I got nothing against gays or anything, it just seemed to come out of left field. Plus the highlight for me was when he got to punish those boys who thought they could spy on us.

I don't think I've ever had that much fun in my life.

Then there are the others too. I never really got to know them and I still am so I don't have much to say. Same with the adults for now, although I will say this...Logan really needs to either get a hobby or get laid. That guys nearly always seems to be in a foul mood and he really needs to chill out...I can't believe ME of all people think that...he must be more worse off them ME if I think that.

Well I think that's enough for now...I hate to admit this even to myself, but I actually feel a little better. But I'll only admit it here...maybe I'll even write some more...I don't know I guess I'll just have to see what the future holds.