Title: I'm here for you
Author: Wicked R
Disclaimers: characters belong to Mutant Enemy. No copyright breach is intended.
Remember, it's just for fun.
Genre: Angst, shortfic.
Rating: R
Set: after "Selfless", season 7 BtVS. After Cordy gets her memories back, but before the Beast attacks.

Summary: Buffy goes down the basement to talk to Spike. Buffy's POV.
Pairing: B/S, with reference to B/A; A/C.
Warning: not beta read. English is not my first language, so be kind.

Buffy avoided dealing with Spike for so long. She knew she will have to eventually, for two reasons. For one, she had to deal with everything that could cause trouble, since she was the Slayer. And Spike going crazy could just be one of those events. Besides, she felt like she owed it to him, for messing with his head. Would not be too far from the truth to say, that Spike was the way he was, because of her. He got his soul for her. She was happy for it, but it was too much of a gift to take for someone who wasn't in love with the person giving the gift. Or was she? Nothing made much sense in the last couple of years. She would've needed some time to think, to relax. Which was never possible around the Hellmouth. She would possibly die confused, as she lived her life. Did it matter? She had to die soon anyway. Sorting out things in your head only matters if you have a future. She walked slowly down the stairs, towards the place she last talked to Spike when Willow was missing. The basement was quite empty, but many things were stored down there. She had nearly got to the doors to the room, when she heard Spike talking again from another direction. She walked in the direction of the sound.

"That small schoolgirl next door, I think she was called Elisa, oh, don't tell me she's dead, cause I just saw her in the park," right, Spike was doing that thing again. Remembering the dead, "we were sitting on a bench, thinking up a game to have fun Angelus, and then my mind just walked away," now he thinks he is talking to Angelus, "I don't want to go out!" she heard him shouting so loud she stopped in her tracks shocked, "no lights, the boulevards from the darkness," now he was ranting quick, "no lights in the glass, and there's nothing I can do…"

"I'm sorry William. I'm so sorry." It was another voice. Unmistakably Angel's. He was really there! Talking to Spike.

"No!" shouted Spike again, "without you. Nothing I can do without you. Teach me how to live, how to pay for…"

Spike wasn't imagining things and he was coherent! It was the best thing that could happen, Spike turning to Angel and him listening. She better let them. She turned, hoping neither of them smelt or heard her, being too occupied with themselves. If they knew she was there, they ignored her anyway. She was already at the steps again when the realisation struck. Spike would eventually blurt it out in his confusion, that they were together. How would Angel react? Then she calmed. Angel knew a lot about forgiveness. She remembered he once said, forgiveness came with true love. He proved that before, towards her and towards Spike. Fairness and compassion must both be a part of how we behave towards those who terrorized us since when you comprehend you can forgive and when you can forgive you do not loathe and when you do not loathe you are capable of loving and love is the most powerful weapon known to all. You can apply it to all creatures possessing a soul, and to some without. As for herself, she still needed to learn to practice that.