Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. Blah blah blaaaah. I don't own these characters. You knew this.

Notes: Okay. Lots of people to thank here. First of all.. Christie. Sooo many of the ideas I use in my stories have a lot to do with the stuff we talk about. I owe my inspiration to our five hour talks about Mark and Roger's little quirks and such. Also thank you to my darling, loving wusband and fellow Queen of Angst the-fraulein (readherstories!) without whom I wouldn't have (readherstories!!) gotten my (readherstories!!!) arse moving and written (readherstories!!!!) this. And last but most definitely not least, thank you SO SO SO much to anyone and everyone who read and reviewed my first story. I love you all so very very much. And now.. onward to the story!

P.S.-- Read and review and I will love you forever and ever.

I just clung to Collins like the world was ending. For me it was. My whole world was dying and it was slowly killing me from the inside.

I spent months taking care of him. Months of my life that I gave up to sit by his side and watch him deteriorate. Hearing his feeble little voice thanking me for taking such good care of him. Thanking me for staying around and not leaving him. It was me. I was the one who forced his medicine down his throat all those days that he was raging around the apartment. I was the one who had to hold him when he finally broke down and realized what all of the doctors had been telling him for months. I had to force down everything and be strong for him. Stoic. I was never much good at stoicism. That was always him. But I did it. And I had been planning on telling him ever since it took a turn for the worst. I really had. But then I thought of how much harder it would have been for him to let go. How much harder it would have been for me to let him go.

I told Collins, though. And Collins understood. He understood everything. He understood why my legs had given out when he told me to leave and let them be alone together. And why I sobbed so hard into his shoulder that I could hardly breathe. Why I could hardly breathe in the first place. And why I didn't say anything now.

I had given up everything for him and to him, and now all he wanted was for me to leave and let them be alone together. His exact words. He knew he was getting ready to go. We all knew it.

She didn't.

She had gone away so she wouldn't have to see it. He made me go find her. Imagine the look of shock on her pretty little face when I showed up at her new boyfriend's house looking for her. She wasn't very nice either. Until I told her about him. When I told her, she started crying. Why was she allowed to cry? Probably because she was a girl. It's okay for girls to cry.

I took her to him and started to sit down. He told me to leave. I knew he was holding out to see her. I didn't really dislike her, but at that moment I couldn't help but hate her.