Author's Note: My husband took control of my keyboard for a good deal of what follows … so it's all his fault! HIS fault! ;)
Kurt swung easily from branch to branch, vine to vine, as the monkeys cried after him. He almost laughed as one took a wrong turn and fell into the trap he'd set before leaving.
The sun was hot, but down under the trees it was cool. He hung by his tail as he sized up the next crossing. There was some open ground, a small clearing, so he either had to teleport or leap down.
He leapt down easily, capering off limbs and sliding down vines, and crouched down for a moment, letting his keen ears pick up the birdcalls and rustling and insect buzzes while he remained focussed on the angry screams of the pursuing simians.
The monkeys hadn't been thrilled when he'd gamboled into their midst high in the canopy, and despite their small size, their sheer numbers had made it quite a chase so far. He felt confident he'd gained enough of a lead that he could leave them far behind now. They'd probably give up soon, anyhow.
At that moment, he heard something large barreling through the underbrush toward him. Twisting around, he saw several strange looking brown-furred animals. He leapt aside as they rushed frantically past him, and at that instant it occurred to him to look back and see what was chasing them. His danger-honed reflexes kicked in and he flipped away before he even consciously registered the jaguar's swiping claws for what they were. The beast's mate bounded to a halt behind it, and the two began to circle Kurt, trading him for their previous quarry.
Kurt knew he could teleport away at any moment, but the idea of testing himself against these deadly hunting cats held a definite appeal. The two moved fluidly, trying to flank him, and he knew as soon as he lost sight of one, it would attack and its mate would not be far behind. He held his arms out, crouched in a ready post, his tail lashing with anticipation.
Suddenly, the jaguar on the left stopped snarling and walked up to Kurt quite boldly, startling him. It cleared its throat and asked, "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?"
The other jaguar continued circling and came up beside the first, chiming in, "It goes terrifically with capybara."
Kurt stammered, "Capy … capy…"
"Capybara, my dear Kurt. You know, the largest rodent in the world? Three of them just came by, attempting to avoid us?"
Kurt's fog lifted and he growled, "Kitty!"
The jaguars both said, "Yes?"
"NOT you!" Kurt stood and looked where he knew, or thought he knew, the control booth was; it was easy to lose track of that sort of thing in the Danger Room.
"Um…what?" Kitty's perky voice cut through the rainforest as if she were standing beside him.
"What did you do to my program?"
"I just made it better?" There was a definite giggle, and he thought he heard another voice in the background as well.
"If I wanted talking animals, I would have gone to Disney World!" he shouted.
"Okay! When are we going?"
"Arrgh!!!!"
The jaguars turned nose to nose as Kurt howled in frustration. "I say, quite an upsettable chap, isn't he?"
"Rather. Bad nerves."
"Oh … you … just keep out of this!" Kurt turned his outrage on the felines, who exchanged glances and started strutting away slowly, muttering things like, "I never" and "Poor upbringing" and "No manners at all, these young chaps."
"So?" Kitty chirped, even more annoyingly cheerful than before.
"So what?" Kurt held his head in his hands. She'd managed to confuse him again.
"When are we going?"
"Going where?"
"I swear. Men. It was like ten seconds ago," Bobby Drake said in his best imitation of Kitty, and Kurt immediately knew who got Beast away from the controls.
"I will get you both for this! You just wait!"
"You're gonna take us BOTH?" Kitty squealed.
"Wow, man, that's great! I've never been to Disney World before. Disneyland, sure. Who hasn't?" Maybe Bobby was being more annoyingly cheerful now.
Kurt decided to give up and pivoted to leave the room…at least, he thought he was leaving the room…but instead of the door he expected, he saw a large castle. The doors opened, and a dizzying array of costumed characters came prancing out.
"KITTY!!!" Oh, he was going to get her. If it took the rest of the day, the week, his life, he was going to get her. With a soft 'bamf' and a wisp of very real sulfur, he fled the Danger Room to make his plans.
"So, do you think he was impressed?" Kitty turned to find Bobby Drake lying on the floor, holding his sides and gasping for air, bright red.
"Bobby! I asked you a question." The computer whiz watched as Bobby slowly regained control and sat up, looking at her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, that was the best! What did you say, again?"
"Do you think he was impressed? I was good, wasn't I?"
"Oh, yeah. You were GREAT. … What do you mean, impressed?"
"BOBBY!" Kitty turned away from him in a huff. Though she was nineteen, Kitty still sometimes let her enthusiasm get away with her. She could be serious as anyone in a crisis, as compassionate, as sophisticated, even. But there were times when she was still a kid.
"I mean it. What do you mean when you say impressed? I thought this was a great gag. Wasn't it?" Bobby began feeling uneasy. Kitty wasn't reacting the way he'd expected. When she'd asked him to help her set this up, he just thought that she wanted to pull a prank on Kurt, and he knew that for some reason she'd been banned from operating the Danger Room when Kurt was in there alone. Something about a Tunnel of Love and kewpie dolls, he'd heard. He never suspected anything more.
"I just…I really want him to like me." She still wasn't looking at him. That wasn't a good sign.
"I'm pretty sure he does like you … " Bobby said, trying to cover up the sinking feeling that she wanted Kurt to like her in a very different way than he'd thought. He was even more certain when she continued on as if she hadn't heard him.
"I thought if I did something really impressive, something that showed him how smart I was and how creative, too, he'd notice me. You know? I can't compare to Ororo or Jean or even Rogue right now."
Bobby picked himself up and placed his hands on Kitty's shoulders. "Now, just hold on there. So you aren't built like some of the others. Neither am I. Well, I mean, not like Storm and Jean. I mean, like Scott or Wolverine. But you know what? So what. You are not ugly by any means. I'm pretty certain I'm not either." She giggled despite herself, and he gave her shoulders a small squeeze. "Of course, maybe I am. I haven't had a lot of dates lately.
"Point is, though, you are pretty. Beautiful," he added hastily. "You are also smart, creative, clever, unique … I can't say I know of many others with your power or who found so many ways to use it as you have. Maybe he just … remembers Kitty the kid, not Katherine Pryde, the young woman. Maybe you have to introduce her to him. It's worth a shot, right?"
Quickly she turned around and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him. He blinked and smiled, hugging her back, as she said, "Thanks, Bobby. I don't think I saw it that way before. I'll think about it and I'll try it your way."
"You will?" Bobby blinked in surprise. Kitty just smiled and walked out of the control room.
Bobby heaved a great sigh of relief and slumped back into a chair. "Wow. That was a close one." He smiled, then, and nearly broke out laughing again. Reaching up, he punched a button and a small tray slid open. Holding up the disk that had been inside it, he grinned. What good was a joke if you couldn't share it with everybody?