A/n: This is a sequel to "Something to live for", which I recommend you read before this story. I apologize if it's terribly cliché and OOC. I don't want it to be too fluffy either, at least not until the end.

I don't have a beta-reader and English is not my native language, so there might be some grammatical errors and such. If so, I'm sorry. Rating because of suicide themes, swearing and such. It might change later, I don't know yet. Italics means thoughts.

Constructive criticism very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want everything from Harry Potter to belong to me, it unfortunately does not (yet -I'm allowed to dream, right?). It belongs to wonderful J.K. Rowling.

Unexpected Feelings

When did this happen? When did these thoughts of.. gratitude turn into something else?

Hermione did not know. It was questions like these that kept invading her mind when she least expected or needed it.

When did this infatuation begin?

For what felt like the millionth time she shook her head and returned her attention to the essay she was writing. There was no point in dwelling on thoughts like that, it would only cause her to become even more confused. And it brought back that small pain in her chest.

No. I can't think about that now. It will do me no good.

She dipped her quill in the ink pot and started writing. She was nearly finished with the essay and only needed to end it, but even though it shouldn't have taken her more than five minutes to write, no words seemed to come to mind. Irritated she threw down the quill, put her things away and walked out of the nearly empty common room. A bit of fresh air should help clear her mind.

I just wish that everyone would stop treating me like I'm made of glass.. It's so frustrating! The teachers with their worried looks behind my back, the whispered comments in the Common room, the guilty eyes of my friends.. I wish that they would just forget about it.

Once outside she strolled to wards the lake. It was a beautiful April Sunday, the sun was shining and a fresh breeze made the trees in the Forbidden Forest rustle slightly. Several groups of students were either walking around the grounds or sitting at the lake, laughing and enjoying a small break from their studies. Without thinking about it Hermione walked away from the other students, unconsciously seeking the solitude of the edge of the forest.

Severus was gazing out of the window in the Headmaster's office, his eyes following the lone figure walking to wards the forest.

There she is again.. Alone.

He furrowed his brow slightly, keeping his eyes on Hermione. Ever since that night he had found her in the Astronomy Tower a month previously.. Ever since that night were she had nearly jumped, he had watched her. Never so that she knew, but enough to make sure she was alright.

"Ah, Severus.. What brings you to my office on this fine Sunday?". The voice of the Headmaster cut through his thoughts and Severus turned to look at him. As the Headmaster walked over to his desk, Severus sat down in the chair in front of it.

"I would like to speak to you about one of the students, Albus."

"And who would that be, Severus? One of the members of your house? Or perhaps Ms. Granger?". A small smile grazed the lips of the Headmaster, and Severus couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed.

Does he have to know everything?

"It is about Ms. Granger. As you know, I have been keeping an eye on her since.. since I found her in the Astronomy Tower. And I must say that I have become a little concerned about her well-being. Although I am aware of the fact that she has.. spoken with her friends and they have apologized many times, she still seems.. sad."

Inwardly he cursed himself for not being more articulate. How could it be that the mere thought of a student could make it so difficult for him to speak properly?

The mere thought of a student whom he had told about his true feelings.

Told her that he loved her.

"Yes, I have been watching her myself. The feelings that brought her to the Tower are still within her, and even though I am fairly certain that she will not attempt suicide, I still fear that she will withdraw herself from her friends and those who care.". Dumbledore's face was serious, a sadness showing in his old features.

"Some friends they are..", Severus mumbled.

"As you said yourself, you know that they are sorry about their actions.".

"That would not have helped them much if Hermione had been too weak to realize her mistake and jumped!", Severus snapped. It took him a second to comprehend what he had just said.

I shouted at Albus. I called her Hermione. Bloody hell..

A small twinkle returned to the Headmaster's eyes, and he chuckled slightly before saying: "I one did not know better, they would say that you seem to.. favor this particular Gryffindor.".

Severus glared at him and opened his mouth to say whatever snarling comment that came to mind, but Dumbledore held up his hand and said: "My apologies, Severus. I did not mean to offend you. In fact I am glad you care about her, and I would like to ask you to do something for me.".

What the hell is he up to now?

"What is it, Albus?".

"I would like you to offer Ms. Granger a position as an assistant."

"I beg your pardon?! And why on earth would I do that?".

"Because it would give you a chance to keep an eye on her. It would give her something to do, something to take her mind of things. It seems like Ms. Granger and her friends are having a difficult time, no doubt out of feelings of guilt. I am sure you have noticed that she spends much more time on her own?". Dumbledore said.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "That is true. I do not seem to be able to recall seeing with her friends more than once or twice lately. Still, I am not sure that me offering her a chance to become an assistant would help her. Perhaps it would do the opposite, as you know, my company is not generally thought of as being pleasant."

"That may be, but I would still like you to at least give it a try. If nothing else, please do it for my sake.".

Dammit, Albus! Do not put me in this position! You know I cannot refuse..

"Very, well, Albus. I will give it a try.". He got up and left the office, a scowl on his face.

How on earth am I going to go through with this? I can barely look her in the eye.

That same evening a note was delivered to Hermione, requesting her presence in the potions classroom at nine o'clock. The thought made her quite nervous, but also immensely curious.

I wonder what this is about? Snape has not looked me in the eyes since we were in the Hospital Wing. Since.. he told me he loved me. Did he mean it? Does he know about my.. feelings, if one could call them that?

After bidding goodbye to her friends, she crawled out of the portrait hole. She could feel their eyes on her back, and she knew the looks in their eyes. Guilt. Regret. Wonder. It was the same look they always had when they looked at her lately.

They probably feel guilty about the fight, and at the same time wonder over why it drove me so far. The same feelings I have.

She quickly reached the dungeons. Outside the classroom door she hesitated a moment before pulling herself together and knocking at the door. A deep voice said: "Enter."

"Good evening, professor Snape.". Hermione couldn't keep a slight edge of nervousness out of her voice.

"Please sit down, Ms. Granger. I will be with you in a moment.". Severus got up and walked over to a potions cabinet and rummaged around for a bit before returning to his seat at the desk, opposite Hermione.

"If I may ask, sir, why have you asked me to be here? Have I done something wrong?".

"No, Ms. Granger, it is an entirely different reason. As you probably are aware, you are one of the best students in my class, and therefore I have an offer for you.", Severus said, his voice void of the usual sneer.

Did he just give me a compliment? Oh my..

"Ms. Granger.. What would you say if I were to offer you a position as an assistant to me? It would be a couple of hours after school two or three days a week, and occasionally on Sundays. Not too much, you should be able to find time for your duties as Head girl and for your homework.".

For a moment Hermione just stared at her professor, not sure of whether she had heard correctly or not. Pulling herself together, she managed to ask: "Why, sir?"

Yes, why? Why on earth would he offer me such a position?

"As I said, you are one of the best students. It is also the hope of me, and the Headmaster, that it would do you some good.". It sounded like he was choosing his words very carefully, and a sudden realization hit her.

They pity me.. And want to keep an eye on me.

A sudden anger flared in her and her voice was cold as she said: "Even though it is a most tempting offer, sir, I am not certain I can accept a position that is offered with an ulterior motive."

Hermione looked defiantly at her professor's reaction. For a brief second he froze, apparently at a complete loss of words. He then averted his eyes and said, in a somewhat strained voice: "Ms. Granger, I feel I must apologize if the.. statement I made in the Hospital Wing a month ago has embarrassed or concerned you. Please know that I would never act against your will, Ms. Granger-"

"It's all right, sir, that wasn't what I meant," Hermione cut him off, as she comprehended what he had thought she had meant. "I simply thought that this position had been offered to me out of pity.". After a second of hesitation she added: "And I know you would never do anything inappropriate.".

How did this get in to the conversation??

He sighed deeply and said: "I will not lie to you. This position has partly been offered to you out of concern and, as I said, with the hope of it doing you some good. I apologize if that offends you.".

Hermione couldn't hold a small smile back. "It doesn't. I know it's out of concern, it's just.. it takes a little while to get used to everyone keeping an eye on me..

Severus' expression softened slightly. "I know what you mean."

He doesn't really look that bad without that scowl.. Hold on, where did that thought come from?? I better learn to control myself if I'm going to accept this offer.

"Sir.. I you don't mind I would like to have an opportunity to think this offer over. I am almost certain of my answer, but I would till like to be completely sure."

"Of, course. Would four days suffice? Until the next Potions class?".

"Yes, that would be fine.", Hermione nodded to herself.

Shouldn't take me any longer to be certain.

"Then I will await your answer. Good evening, Ms. Granger."

"Good evening, professor, and.. thank you for the offer.". With a small smile she got up and left the class room, walking slowly along the corridor.

Would it be wise for me to accept this offer? Snape did, after all, tell me that he loved me. Of course he wouldn't act on it, but still.. It would probably be quite awkward. Maybe I should ask someone for advice? But who? I could always go to Ron and Harry.. But they wouldn't understand. Especially not now.

Sighing she stopped at window and gazed out at the lawns of Hogwarts.

I could always go to Dumbledore, he did say that I'm always welcome in his office if I wish to talk - though I already know what he'd say to me. I should probably stop thinking about this. Tomorrow it will be easier to get a hold of my thoughts.

She continued down the hall to wards Gryffindor Tower, determined to let her thoughts rest until the morning.