Summary: With the death of her parents, Lily Evans life becomes unbearable. The rain continues to falls inside her heart as she comes to terms with their deaths. Will the rain continue to fall or will Lily find the peace of mind she desires?
As The Rain Falls...
She had never felt anything so strong. This hurt was slowly, but surely, sucking her life away. She had loved them. She had loved him, loved him so much as to hate him. He knew of the pain she was feeling. She could see the sorrow there in his eyes as he explained to her that he didn't love her back.
"If you had asked me before Lils," he was saying.
But I didn't know I loved you before, her heart was screaming!
"I'm sorry Lil, but..." She tuned him out, holding on to his memory and devouring the very sight of him.
"Lils?"
"I'm sorry too Sirius," she whispered as the thunder began to rumble.
"We had better get inside," he said shivering.
"You go on; I need to be alone for awhile."
Sirius nodded.
"I understand."
He slowly walked to the castle's entrance where the hordes of families congratulated the class of 1978. She walked away from the celebration and her painful memories to a secluded spot by the lake.
"Damn my heart and my family!" She spoke to the wind. She looked towards the lake and whispered, "They won't find my body...I will have just disappeared."
She stepped towards the lake. She put one foot in, and, reluctantly, the other followed. She was in waist deep when she heard a voice behind her.
"Lily! No!"
She recognized the voice and snarled, "Leave me alone, Potter!"
She was almost there...almost to her place of solitude...her haven. She could see them, their arms opened wide...
"No," James said, splashing in after her.
"Potter, I'm warning you," she grimaced, forcing her way forward.
"Lily," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, but remained standing in the same spot. James quietly stood beside her. They stood for a few moments in silence.
"How did you find me?" Lily finally whispered. James sounded slightly ashamed as he answered.
"I followed you." Lily kept her eyes focused on the oak tree across the lake.
"Why did you follow me?"
"Because I was worried about you," James replied innocently.
"Why?" Lily asked. Why me asked her heart, begging to be told what only her parents would have said.
"I know how much Sirius means to you, especially since...well...I was scared you would do something drastic."
"Like what?" Lily asked, slightly angered. She turned to look at him. His profile was sharp.
"Well, we are standing in water up to our waist," James said meeting her emerald gaze with his hazel.
"Point taken," Lily replied, looking away.
"Shall we go back to shore?"
Lily looked down at her wet robes swirling in the dark murky water and shivered.
"Yes," she whispered. James held out a hand and she took it. They lumbered back up to the bank. When their feet were safely away from the water, James asked,
"Were you really going to do it?"
Lily looked down at her shoes.
"Why did you stop me?" She countered.
"I love you," James replied. Lily glanced up.
"Yes, I would have done it...if you had not come along." Lily sighed and answered the question her heart and James was silently asking her.
"Because...I well, it's not Sirius's fault...I...I miss...my parents," she said choking on the tears she had held back since the funeral. James held out his arms and she ran into them. James let her cry onto his shoulder as he stroked her hair.
"Why do you love me James?" Lily asked between sniffles.
"Because you were the only girl who saw me for me. You are the only girl that makes my heart pound faster when you are near," James said breathlessly. "I've loved you from the moment I saw you. It just got more powerful with every year, month, day, and minute," James said.
"I never knew," Lily whispered.
"I never wanted you to," James replied.
Lily stepped back.
"I do now," she said. "And I think..."
No words were needed. Lily offered her hand and James took it as rain began to fall.
As they walked back to the castle, Lily rolled her thoughts through her mind. She had seen what she needed to see. She has almost killed herself because of her parent's deaths just months before. She had been using Sirius as an excuse...a crutch. She turned to look at James. He smiled his one-dimpled smile and held her hand more firmly.
She had found in James a friend, a listener, a family, and a lover. James loved her, Lily, for who she was, and she needed James. She found this frightening and, with that and the death of her parents, suicide looked an option. She gasped and James wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and took one of her hands in his.
James and Lily walked back to the party, now inside due to the rain. James saw Sirius heading in their direction and made to drop Lily's hand, but Lily held on the tighter. Sirius walked over to them and whistled.
"Well that was a quick recovery Lils."
Lily laughed. "I'm a quick healer."
Sirius understood and nodded. He smiled and led the two rain soaked teenagers into the crowd.
"So are you guys going together?"
"Not yet," James replied. Lily silently thanked him. She needed time to heal and he knew this.
"Well, call me for the wedding!"
James laughed. "I will, don't worry." He turned to look at Lily, who had dropped his hand as two more boys arrived with their parents. James smiled.
"We'll be your family Lily."
"Yeah Lils," Sirius grinned. Remus and Peter nodded and all four boys engulfed her in a hug.
"Lily Evans...the fifth member of our family," Remus said appreciatively.
Lily smiled as the rain outside continued to fall.
I am not trying to imitate et cetera Ms. Rowling and would like to tell those who try to go to therapy. There is one and only one J.K. Rowling. Period. Thank you for reading my story please tell me what you think.
Iris